Horror Host Icon: Baron Von Porkchop

Dayton, Ohio really does have its fair share of Horror Host history, with many of them being household names and each meaning something to their viewers. Names like Dr. Creep, The Creeper and A. Ghastlee Ghoul have graced the TV Screens of many late night viewers and each have inspired and entertained generations of Monster Kids and each of them helped shape my creative mind in their own ways. And in 2010 the Dayton market was pretty dry when it came to Horror Hosts as Iris & Retina of Mondo Smash A’Go-Go had slowed down and reruns of New Shock Theater and The Ghastlee Movie Show were hard to find on the access stations DATV and MVCC, and then that void was filled when Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales of the Macabre hit DATV like a frightening freight train! And still to this day Baron Von Porkchop is the cities current King of late night viewing and a fan favorite to many. This Horror Host Icon update will be one that will not only talk about Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre, but will also give a little behind the scenes and facts that many do not know. So it’s with great honor and pride that I bring to you readers Horror Host Icon: Baron Von Porkchop. So let’s travel to Porkchop Manor and see what BVP has in store for us.

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Baron Von Porkchop is a ghoul who originally died in the 1800’s after a wagon accident that also left his wife The Baroness dead! The couple was buried in two different locations when their enemy Count Van Lambchop paid for their burials as a fake act of kindness to impress the townspeople of New Burlington. Decades passed and in 2010 Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop where dug up and come back to life and while Ghouls they continue their lives at their now moved Manor as their old town of New Burlington was flooded and the town moved to a hidden location in Ohio. And while their pork meat empire slaughter houses are now closed they did generate money while they were dead and their bank account is well stocked with cash and making it very easy for them to continue on and have all types of adventures around the state of Ohio. Baron Von Porkchop dresses in a nice black coat, with a top hat, blue vest, glasses with a magnifier and has very pale grayish skin. While he is a ghoul he is not a flesh eater and has a very fun loving nature with a hint of an ego. He really enjoys hosting the movies and bringing his viewers his show as his “Piggies” as he calls them are like his close friends. Baron is very much in love with The Baroness as he would do anything to make her happy, and his best friend is the family butler Bean. Baron Von Porkchop besides his show has done lots of cool things in and around Dayton as he has hosted a Halloween Theme Dinner party at Lily’s Bistro, he has been a guest and attended conventions like HorrorHound Weekend, I.C.E. and Cinema Wasteland to name a few. He has hosted movies at theaters Englewood Cinema and Danbarry Huber Heights. He has hosted verity show “Dirty Little Secrets” at Wiley’s Comedy Club. At Gilly’s Jazz club an event called “Baron’s Ball” was held that had many great music acts play for Baron and his guests, not to mention he even hosted the freakshow event called “Captain Johnny’s Whiz Bang” at Gilly’s. He has attended Halloween Parties for fans and even has done charity events. Plus he has appeared in comic books namely “Shocking Macabre Theater” by Sparkle Comics. As you can see Baron does lots of great things for fans to enjoy, and he has no plans of slowing down anytime soon. Stephen Alexander II is the man who plays Baron Von Porkchop and is not only my cousin but also was a founding member of the “Gem City Gentlemen Of The Gilded Beard” a beard club that did events for charity, he also is a writer for comic book company Sparkle Comics and is a pretty creative guy who also makes custom Funko Pop! Figures, creates enamel pins and repairs old smoking pipes.

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Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre began in 2010 and started airing on DATV, MVCC and The Monster Channel with host Baron Von Porkchop and took viewers by storm as the area of Dayton, Ohio was in need of an active Horror Host as many of the hosts had taken time away or retired. Out the gate Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre gained a great following with loyal viewers who enjoyed Baron Von Porkchop and the crazy world around him. The show is still going strong as of 2021 and has had a number of regular episodes as well as many specials, showing that BVP is here to stay! The show is one that takes Baron all around the city of Dayton as well as conventions and events and even has guests and story arches…it’s like a Horror Host sitcom wrapped around cheesy films. Baron on the show not only hosts classic public domain films but also hosts many independent films of all types of budgets. Baron has even hosted wrestling matches from Rockstar Pro Wrestling for a special. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre is a staple of Dayton airwaves and still has many more episodes and specials to come.

But did you know that Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre was original going to be new episodes of Shock Theater and was slated to be the return of Dr. Creep as Dayton’s Horror Host? For years Dr. Creep and I talked about bringing his show back as while his health was on a decline he had the itch to get back to hosting movies and entertaining viewers. So to prepare for his return I wrote out several episode ideas and decided to film a Horror Host show that would be just seen by my friends in order to truly get ready for Dr. Creep’s return. So while chatting with my cousin Stephen we decided that he would act as the host and the name Baron Von Porkchop was created by me due to his sideburns. We came up with an idea of Baron going fishing to capture a Creature From The Black Lagoon type fish monster in order to serve him to dinner guests, Baron was more of a snarling sinister type Host with a toned down voice, in other words he was more played on fear and not laughs. We choose the movie Night Fright to host and once filmed I made generic opening credits for the show we were calling “Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre” and once edited I burnt it onto a DVD and gave copies to a few fiends including Rick Martin and Andy Copp both who brought back Dr. Creep with New Shock Theater back in the late 90’s, and the response we got from the episode and Baron Von Porkchop was overwhelming with everyone saying that we should do more episodes and turn him into an ongoing Horror Host! Andy Copp told me he thought I had something special with Baron and even said that he could get it aired on public access station DATV, and with those kind words among many others Stephen and I decided that we would indeed keep Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as it’s own series and when Dr. Creep’s health would get better I would do both shows! Sadly Dr. Creep’s health only got worse and on January 14, 2011 the world lost this amazing man and host, and this was very sad for not only Dayton but for all who enjoyed Dr. Creep’s antics.

As the show grew I knew that I had to cast my friend and then co-worker Stephanie Stidham in the show so she became Baroness Von Porkchop, and the show just kept growing from there. While working on Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre BVP has had the pleasure of working with many of the Horror Hosts from Dayton’s past like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak and Iris & Retina and this to me shows the bond that our area hosts have together. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has become a true Friday night tradition for many viewers as we have gotten fan snail mail and emails from viewers as even our home station of DATV has gotten mail about how much the shows means to our viewers and one amazing thing was a local retirement home have movie nights watching Baron! Heck even during the 2020 pandemic we even filmed a few Specials to help our viewers out and give them some laughs during the hard time. I truly love creating the show Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre alongside my cousin Stephen and we have more ideas and spooky, silly adventures planned for Baron coming up over the next few years.

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As like all good Horror Hosted shows Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has it’s fair share of amazing cohosts and sidekicks that live in and around the Porkchop Manor. The lovely Baroness Von Porkchop is the voice of reason when it comes to the decisions made in and around the Manor, she is elegant and stunning and was a former Miss Slaughterhouse Pageant winner and is one of New Burlington’s most beautiful women, The Baroness is played by Stephanie Stidham. Bean is the longtime hunchback butler for the Porkchop’s and is the one who for over a century took care of Porkchop Manor and is responsible for finding them and bringing them back to life, he is a silly goofy man who helps BVP get into all types of wacky adventures and always encourages his off the wall and lazy ways. Bean is played by Bruce Lerma who is the nephew of Horror Hosts Iris and Retina from Mondo Smash A’ Go-Go! Jenkins The Pigman was the first pigman experiment that BVP and Bean created and they decided not to kill him for his meat and keep him as a member of the manor, Jenkins is very strong and also has a darkside and will do whatever he can to protect Baron and Baroness. Jenkins The Pigman was played originally by Gary Wolf and later on by myself among others. The manors cook is JD The Meatman a loyal and skilled meat cutter who has worked for Baron in his old slaughterhouse and now works in his kitchen, JD is played by artist Eric Shonborn. Viola Poison was at one time the maid for Porkchop Manor and was skilled in not only cleaning but also using Poison, she also had a massive crush on the Baron and this is what lead to her leaving the Manor, Viola was played by Emily Marshall. And these are the main sidekick characters that make up Porkchop Manor!

Baroness Von PorkchopBeanJenkins The PigmanJ.D. The MeatmanViola Poison

The Baron also has some friends in and around town that includes his neighbors Sleazy Tom a laid back ladies man who while sleazy does have a good heart who was played by Max Ervin (who sadly passed away in 2013) and on the other side is Mr. G the lizard headed mascot form the closed down Renaissance Music Media store who is enjoying retirement and is still played by Geoff Burkman. The Son Of Hercules a strong man of myth and legend and is one of Barons best friends and is played by Mike Ritchie. Melvin is a monster-faced goofball who is the helper of Stephen Von Frankenstein and enjoys hanging out with Baron and is his Halloween buddy, Melvin is played by the legendary local actor Josh Weinberg! And this is just a drop in the hat of the townies that live in New Burlington as names like Oliver The Werewolf, Mr. Pepperton, Susie The DJ, Beerwolf, Wolf Hunter Duke, BK King, Reporter Ted The Fox, Mr. O and so many others make up the townies.

Sleazy TomMr. GSon of HerculesMelvin

Also Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has had some review hosts that make up one of the shows segments with the original being Reverend Zealot who brought back The Cult Corner that he use to do on New Shock Theater that was hosted by Dr. Creep! Filmmaker Andrew Copp played Reverend Zealot for the second season and sadly he passed away in 2013 making another loss for the show. Brett does video game reviews on his Bad Or Rad segment that started in the third season and he is blogger Brett Prescott. Both Zealot and Brett help make episodes of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre more special for viewers and both are vital to making the show even more fun.

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But while BVP has his fair share of friends he also has those in New Burlington who dislike him and the fact he hosts movies for viewers of Public Access, and these sticks in the mud want to end Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre…or even take it over! His main nemesis is Count Van Lambchop the poultry King played by Thomas Smith who is extremely competitive and is upset that he did not become the host of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as he and his wife the lovely Countess Van Lambchop played by Jaimie Mazzone were resurrected before the Von Porkchops. They also have a very loyal butler named Cornbread who dislikes Baron, but he truly cannot stand Bean! The three of them do whatever they can to annoy and be thorns in the side of Baron as they think they should be the center of attention. The next major hater of BVP is Baron Von Porkchop Jr. played by musician Todd The Fox is a crazy fraud he has the people of New Burlington believing that he is truly his son, he is manipulative as well as short tempered and dangerous! And this is just a drop in the hat of the villains of the show as names like Chicken Man, Fulci Zombie, Headless Horseman, The Sadness, Crazed Fan and David J. Getz also cause issues. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre is like no other Horror Host show from the area as it truly does have a massive world and tons of characters that make it up.

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When Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre started up as a full show I spent so much time building the world of New Burlington and knew that I wanted it to be filled with all types of townies from normal people, monsters, retired mascots and even movie characters from indie made films…and one other character that was planned was Baby Von Porkchop who was going to be The Baron and Baroness’s daughter that was going to be played by my friend KD Cyr, the character would have been stuck in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey and would have sent video messages to her parents about her adventures from the haunted woods. You see KD lived near the barrens and was a creative soul that I meet on social media and we hit it off as both of us loved Horror and cheesy movies, and when creating the character I had her 100% in mind and she as well helped create the attitude and storyline for Baby. I was so excited to have her on board for the show and at one point an episode was planned that would have had Baron, Baroness and Bean heading into the Pine Barrens to find her only to have a run in with the Jersey Devil of course! KD would do some trial run footage with a friend and make-up designs, but would never share as she always said that footage was bad as she was nervous in it, and I would encourage her and of course put no stress on her. We put off the characters debut so that she could find what worked for her with playing Baby, and all was going well. But sadly in 2015 the world lost a truly amazing person as KD passed away from a car accident when a reckless driver crashed into the back of her car. Truly heartbreaking news when I found out and even if she never made an appearance on the show she is still to all of us a part of our cast family, and I felt it was only right when writing about the show that she gets the respect she deserves. My deepest sympathy goes to her family and friends as she was an amazing and creative soul.

KD Cyr Baby Von Porkchop

One thing that I love seeing is fan art done by our viewers as well as just fans of Horror Hosting and over the years we have gotten some pretty amazing pieces of art sent to us! Crazy even some of the artists have who sent us some of the art ended up being on the show! As a creator of Baron Von Porkchop and Sparkle Comics when anyone takes the time to make art for us it’s very appreciated and we love seeing them! Below is some art from many of the talented artists who have drawn BVP over the years. And I want to also send out a massive thank you to everyone who has ever sent us fan art or done art featuring Baron Von Porkchop or any of the cast of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre. Artwork below features ones done by Brett Prescott, Eric Shonborn, MonkeyGoatBoy and Bradley Beard.

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Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has had many regular episodes as well as specials over the years and each of them I enjoyed making, being apart of and even watching, but one has always stood out as the most important episode to me and that was Episode 8 as it was the tribute to the late Dr. Creep who passed away before the episode was filmed. The original idea for the episode was it was suppose to be Baron Von Porkchop hosting a dinner party that the guest of honor was to be Dr. Creep who would have taken over the episode sharing stories of his years of being a Horror Host and they would have hosted a Bela Lugosi film. But sadly Dr. Creep who was in poor health passed away on January 14, 2011 at the age of 69, and this was a sad day for all of Ohio and those of use who grew up watching Dr. Creep and knew the man behind the grease paint. And the episode that was suppose to be his comeback to TV ended up being turned into a celebration of his life and memory. The episode was turned into The Baron and Baroness throwing a dinner party to honor Dr. Creep’s memory and had many of his friends on talk about his life and tell fun stories. Many names showed up like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak, Jeff McClellan, Rick Martin, Geraldo The Hunchback, Reverend Zealot, Mr. G and even characters like Melvin, Duke The Wolf Hunter and Son Of Hercules showed up to pay respects. After the guests shared their stories we showed classic clips of Dr. Creep from Shock Theater. It was very magical hearing each of these guys sharing their stories of traveling, hanging out and working with Dr. Creep. Many also told stories of meeting him for the first time or shared stories he had told them…it was very magical and was something that I hope he would have been proud of. Below is a picture from that film shoot with all the people involved in one shot. Well I need to also say thanks to Juliet Fromholt, Emily Marshall, Maurice Smith, Josh Weinberg and Eric Shonborn all who helped makes the special possible but are not in the picture.

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For me one of the greatest honors of doing and creating this show was when on September 11, 2021 when Baron Von Porkchop was inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame as part of the 2020 class in Ohio! BVP took his place with the other Icons from Dayton that was placed in the Hall Of Fame like Dr. Creep, A. Ghastlee Ghoul and The Creeper! This introduction was well attended and BVP was inducted by “The Mummy and The Monkey” an amazing Horror Host duo from Cleveland, Ohio. It was really cool seeing Baron on stage getting the honor of being inducted in, as the years of hard work paid off and it was awesome to see the fans clap for him to get this honor. While the Hall Of Fame was very odd as it was a smaller event due to the on going pandemic and some audio issues plagued the start of the ceremony it was something very special for BVP and myself.

Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as you can see is a show that has became a main stay in Dayton, Ohio and has expanded to the world thanks to the online stations like The Monster Channel and even the online viewing streams of DATV and MVCC. And really one of the biggest honors making this show is getting feedback from the fans as well as being inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame thanks to fan votes as well as votes from his peers. And we are now at the point of this review to talk about the episodes and I decided to not cover all of the episodes of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as I will cover Baron Von Porkchop again in the future so I decided to cover seasons one and two as well as the specials that went along with those two seasons. The movies plots will be taken from our pals at IMDB with some being written by myself as well as all the hosts segments. So if you are ready lets spend sometime at Porkchop Manor and have some fun with BVP and his friends that make up New Burlington.

Baron Episode 1

TTOTM: House On Haunted Hill
Starring – Vincent Price & Carol Ohmart         Not Rated       1959

Host: Earl The Gravedigger leads Baroness Von Porkchop and Bean to a dug up gravesite and when the coffin opens its Baron Von Porkchop! Once back at the manor that is located in New Burlington they get cleaning as the place is dusty and Baron even meets his neighbor Sleazy Tom for the first time that wants him to watch his 1900 # dating ad. In the end Baron informs the Piggies at home that we will be returning next week with a new spooky film to share with them.

Movie: Eccentric millionaire Fredrick Loren and his 4th wife, Annabelle, have invited 5 people to the house on Haunted Hill for a “haunted House” party. Whoever will stay in the house for one night will earn ten thousand dollars each. As the night progresses, all the guests are trapped inside the house with ghosts, murderers, and other terrors.

Baron Episode 2

TTOTM: Driller Killer
Starring – Abel Ferrara & Carolyn Marz     Not Rated     1979

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and his friend and butler Bean are working in the manors garage on making a pig man in order to raise and then slaughter and sell his meat as Pig Man Sausage! Throughout the episode Baron and Bean work on the Pigman trying to give him life and add organs as well as use electricity to try and start his heart. In the end when all looks as if it has failed the Pigman rockets up to life and runs from the garage…Baron and Bean end the issue by shooting the Pigman dead so that he would not run amuck in New Burlington.

Movie: Reno is an artist struggling to survive in NYC. He draws inspiration from scenes of daily street life and occasional random violence. Under pressure to finish his oft-delayed grand masterpiece, his psychotic alter-ego takes over and he begins killing random vagrants to boost his creativity, not quite realizing that it is happening in reality. When an art dealer grimly rejects Reno’s finished masterpiece, Reno’s mental condition quickly deteriorates.

Baron Episode 3

TTOTM: Frankenstein ‘80
Starring – Gordon Mitchell & Xiro Papas     Not Rated     1972

Host: While walking through the woods Baron Von Porkchop runs into a weird looking creature man named Melvin who informs him that Stephen Von Frankenstein needs his help! As Baron follows Melvin to Castle Frankenstein he is told by Stephen that his Monster is now free and wondering the woods! So Baron along with Melvin go looking for The Monster only to find him in a very bad mood!

Movie: A mad scientist creates a monster called “Mosaico,” who breaks out of the laboratory to hunt down and kill beautiful women.

Baron Episode 4

TTOTM: Ulysses Against The Son Of Hercules
Starring – Mike Lane & Georges Marchal     Not Rated     1962

Host: Baron, Baroness and Bean get a call from The Son Of Hercules that he needs their help in order to get back a golden apple that is in the hands of an old witch that is inside a haunted collage! So brave Baron and Bean take the quest and leave Baroness behind, while on the quest the encounter a zombie and ghosts before coming face to face with the witch…the coward out and run away before getting the apple. On their way back to face The Son Of Hercules they are coming up with a story in why they failed in the quest only to be greeted by the Baroness who had went the quest along and retrieved the apple!

Movie: Ulysses offends the gods by blinding the Cyclops, so they send Hercules to capture him and bring him to them.

Baron Episode 5

TTOTM: Five Minutes To Live
Starring – Johnny Cash & Ron Howard     Not Rated     1961

Host: Baron and Baroness head to grocery store Big Bear in Lebanon, Ohio in order to sell them his freshly made Pigman sausage as when he was alive that chain was very much into stocking his quality pork products. But to their horror Big Bear is out of business and hanging around was one of the stores old managers who tells them they should sell their meat by going door to door…and Baron and Baroness do just that and turn it into a computation on who can sell more! The split up and meet all types of strange people trying to sell them this meat…in the end The Baroness comes out the winner!

Movie: Fred narrates the film in flashback, detailing a suburban bank robbery that goes awry. In his simple plan, he hires a hard-up hood, Johnny Cabot to take the wife of the bank’s vice president hostage. Cabot will hold her until he gets a call alerting him that Fred has been successful in getting ransom money. Cabot waits, and watches the Wilson house as the husband leaves for the bank and their young son heads off to school. Posing as a door-to-door guitar instructor, he forces his way into the house and takes Nancy Wilson hostage. At the bank, Fred talks his way into Ken Wilson’s office, and presents his personal check for $70,000, intending that Wilson will withdraw the funds to cover the check as a ransom for his wife. He has Wilson call home to prove that Nancy is being held by the unstable Cabot, and gives Wilson 5 minutes to make his.

Baron Episode 6

TTOTM: Fury Of The Wolfman
Starring – Paul Naschy & Perla Cristal     Rated PG     1972

Host: Baron Von Porkchop gets the invite of a lifetime as he is able to sit down and have a one of one interview with world famous werewolf hunter Duke! Duke The Wolf Hunter was seen in the second shot on video film “The Wolf Hunter II” and shares is secrets of hunting down werewolf scum. Also along for this amazing interview is Bean who is star struck by the hunter, as well as a heck of a lot of blood sucking Cicadas who are trying to ruin Baron’s show!

Movie: Waldimar Daninsky, a lone survivor of a Tibetian expedition, returns home to find his wife has been unfaithful to him. Carrying the curse of the pentagram (or pentagon, as stated by the monk who nursed him back to health), the fury of the wolfman is unleashed! After disposing of his cheating spouse, he finds himself captive in a castle by a female mad scientist conducting mind control experiments. In a vein attempt at escape, he discovers the freaks left over from past experiments dwelling in the dungeons.

Baron Episode 7

TTOTM: Night Fright
Starring – John Agar & Dorothy Davis     Not Rated     1967

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is going fishing to try and snag a fish creature using Beans brain as bait! He is trying his hardest to capture this creature as he wants to serve his meat to his dinner guests that are gathering the next episode to honor the late great Dr. Creep! In the end Baron is able to snag the creature!

Movie: A government space experiment into the effects of cosmic rays on animal life goes horribly wrong, creating a mutant monster that terrorizes a rural community.

Baron Episode 8

TTOTM: Dr. Creep Tribute
Starring – Dr. Creep & Dow Thomas     Not Rated     1970-1990

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop are throwing a dinner part to honor Dr. Creep the Dayton, Ohio iconic Horror Host. They have JD The Meatman cook up the Creature Meat and have snacks and treats for the guests as Bean escorts them to the dinner table. Guests include Rick Martin, A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Jeff McClellan American, Dr. Freak, Geraldo The Hunchback, Duke The Wolf Hunter, Son Of Hercules, Melvin, Mr. G and Reverend Zealot and they all share amazing and fun Dr. Creep stories and myths.

Movie: Clips of Dr. Creep over the ages from his shows Shock Theatre, Saturday Night Dead and New Shock Theater. As well as some of his public appearances over the years at events.

Baron Episode 9

TTOTM: Independent Short Films
Starring – Dave Wean & Kipp Poe     Not Rated     1990’s-2000’s

Host: The Baroness wants Baron and Bean to clean up the garage as its getting out of hand with boxes that is filled with old media, toys and forgotten relics…but cleaning is no fun so they decide to dig out some independently made horror short films and share them with the Piggies at home! They also find out that Mr. G has moved in next-door and he as well shares a short film! And when all said and done Baron and Bean do nothing and the Baroness is not very happy!

Movie: Indie short films shown on this episode are “The Cask Amontillado”, “Dreadful”, “Callback”, “Songs In The Key Of Satan” and “Outpost 31”.

Baron Episode 10

TTOTM: Phantom From 10,000 Leagues
Starring – Dave Wean & Kipp Poe     Not Rated     1955

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is very distracted from hosting the nights film as he has gotten himself a video game console and is playing the game Space Invaders as he thinks that by playing the game he is saving the Earth. He is so focused that he is ignoring the issues of the manor as well as his wife The Baroness and friends Sleazy Tom, Bean and Jenkins The Pigman!

Movie: An unusual radioactive rock on the sea bottom mutates the ocean life into a horrible monster. When charred, radioactive bodies begin to drift ashore a scientist and government agent investigate the phenomenon, and it’s connection to a local marine biology professor.

Baron Epiosde 11

TTOTM: Quiet Nights Of Blood And Pain
Starring – Amanda DeLotelle & Loren Goins     Not Rated     2009

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has cult indie filmmaker Andy Copp over to the manor to chat about his legacy of making films, television shows as well as his work with Dr. Creep. And of course Bean is around to make sure their guest is uncomfortable or is that comfortable?

Movie: The movie deals with two soldiers home from the Iraq war suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but in vastly different ways. One see’s her life falling apart in night-terrors, flashbacks, insomnia, and a total lack of government support. The other still believes he is fighting the war now that he is back on American soil. Still convinced he is supposed to torture and kill any and everyone who can be viewed as Anti-American. Soon they will be at a crossroads and blood will be flooding the American streets.

Baron Episode 12

TTOTM: White Pongo
Starring – Richard Fraser & Maris Wrixon     Not Rated     1945

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Bean are on the hunt for a creature that broke into the manor and stole one of the Baronesses little figures! The two head to the woods and soon find that they are looking for a Were-Gorilla, and they try to get the item back as well as avoid its rage.

Movie: Suspecting that a safari guide is a wanted killer, undercover policeman Geoffrey Bishop joins a safari led by the suspect for a scientist that hopes to find and prove that a fabled white gorilla is a missing link.

Baron Episode 13

TTOTM: I Eat Your Skin
Starring – William Joyce & Heather Hewitt     Rated PG     1971

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop get a visitor who claims he is their long lost son, but the thing is they never had a son! Baron Von Porkchop Jr. starts to be a menace around the manor as well as starts to interfere in the personal life and business life of Baron that causes him lots of issues. But it’s soon seen that BVP Jr. is not stable and Baron must find a way to get ride of him once and for all.

Movie: A cancer researcher on a remote Caribbean island discovers that by treating the natives with snake venom he can turn them into bug-eyed zombies. Uninterested in this information, the unfortunate man is forced by his evil employer to create an army of the creatures in order to conquer the world.

Baron Episode 14

TTOTM: Atomic Age Vampire
Starring – Susanne Loret & Alberto Lupo     Not Rated     1960

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is forced to find a job as Baroness is sick of him just hanging around the manor so he gets hired to be a DJ at New Burlington’s radio station. And of course Baron has no clue what he is doing and causes all kinds of havoc on the air as well as broadcasting dead air!! And as fast as he is hired he hides so they can not fire him.

Movie: A stripper is horribly disfigured in a car accident. A brilliant scientist develops a treatment that restores her beauty and falls in love with her. To preserve her appearance the doctor must give her additional treatments using glands taken from murdered women. His unexplained ability to turn into a hideous monster helps with this problem but does nothing to win her love. The doctor’s woes multiply as the police and the girl’s boyfriend begin to close in on him.

Baron Episode 15

TTOTM: Wolf Hunter 1 & 2
Starring – Matt Hoffman & Jason Gilmore     Not Rated     2001/2006

Host: Baron Von Porkchop heads to the werewolf infested Malice’s Bridge in order to get an interview with the famous Wolf Hunter, but he soon finds out that the hero is not showing up but instead he is being stalked by many werewolves from Independent B Movie films like Scars, Red-Eye, Man-Beast and Oliver. But lucky for BVP his luck foils many of their attempts to make him dinner.

Movie: The Wolf Hunter: Malice king of all werewolves is rampaging in Ohio and a business owners daughter has been kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend who is now a werewolf and the states only hope is The Wolf Hunter. Wolf Hunter 2: Malice is still on the loose and now his biggest rival Ravenger has entered Ohio and a werewolf turf war is about to go down, and The Wolf Hunter who is trying to kill off the werewolves and keep order has his own issues when Duke another Wolf Hunter is called in. Can the two work together and stop this werewolf invasion?

Baron Episode 16

TTOTM: Vampire
Starring – John Beal & Coleen Grey     Not Rated     1957

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop get sad news that their butler and friend Bean has to leave the manor as he has found a wife and plans on starting his own family. And now Baron and Baroness must hold interviews in order to find his replacement and all types of people show up in order to get the job and some of them are perfect fits while others are weirdoes. In the end BVP shoots them all down before hiring maid Viola Poison strictly on her good looks. Lots of cool cameos in this episode including Geraldo The Hunchback from New Shock Theater.

Movie: A kind, small-town doctor mistakenly ingests pills made from vampire bat blood and they turn him into a dangerous fanged creature.

Baron Episode 17

TTOTM: Legend Of Bigfoot
Starring – Ivan Marx & Peggy Marx     Rated PG     1975

Host: Baron Von Porkchop gets fellow Dayton, Ohio Horror Hosts Iris & Retina to help him hunt down a Bigfoot as he needs the creatures meat in order to make his famous BigFoot Chili to enter into the New Burlington Chili Cook-Off! The Horror Hosts wonder around the woods and hear the yells of the creature as well as find the evidence that they need to know they are on the right track. And in the end Baron is able to take down one of the creatures.

Movie: A documentary about the legendary creature, Bigfoot, with emphasis on him being the missing link.

Baron Episode 18

TTOTM: Undertaker And His Pals
Starring – Warrene Ott & James Westmoreland     Rated R     1966

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has brought his whole crew (Baroness Von Porkchop, Jenkins The Pigman, JD The Meatman and Viola Poison) to the New Burlington Chili Cook-Off as he has entered his famous Bigfoot Chili, but the compotation is heavy as rival Count Van Lambchop and his wife The Countess has also entered their chili in the contest. Viola and Jenkins try to help rig the voting by messing with others chili as Baron and the Count continue their life long feud. With a panel of guest judges that include musicians and comic book artists it’s a chili showdown for who takes first place. This episode also has a cameo from Bean!

Movie: An undertaker and his two friends, who are restaurant owners, drum up business by going out on the town and killing people; the restaurant owners use parts of the bodies for their menu, and the undertaker gets paid by the families to bury the remainder. Their racket goes awry when 2 detectives suspect that something isn’t quite kosher.

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Now that we have taken a look at the first two seasons (season three and on will be for another future update) lets take a look at the special episodes that when along with these first two seasons.

Son of Hercules Special

Son Of Hercules Power Hours: Samson
Starring – Brad Harris & Mara Berni     Not Rated       1961

Host: The Son Of Hercules hosts his own show that was a failed TV Polit that he was trying to get TBS to air in the 1980’s. This special has Son Of Hercules giving work out tips, arm wrestling an alien as well as showing his love for heavy metal music. A silly fun time with the Mighty Son of Hercules!

Movie: While traveling through the kingdom of Sulom, Samson is arrested and finds that the queen no longer reigns and that a power-mad warlord and his army of mercenaries now controls the kingdom. Samson teams up with some of his one-time adversaries to battle the usurper and restore the rightful queen to power.

Baron Halloween Episode 1

BVP Halloween Special 1: The Sadness
Starring – Jason Young & Garrison Kane     Not Rated       2006

Host: Baron Von Porkchop celebrates Halloween by going to the site of The Sadness Collage Murders, and once there he starts coming across bodies and thinks that the students are adding the spooky holiday festivities, but the Baron soon realizes that The Sadness has returned to the scene of the crime and that Baron might just be his next victim.

Movie: A young collage student witnesses the murder of her next door neighbor and makes the mistake of talking about it on her friends radio show, and now the killer knows as The Sadness has shown up to the collage and wants to silence her and her friends forever as he never leaves a witness behind.

Baron Beards of Science Special

BVP Charity Special: Abraham Lincoln
Starring – Walter Huston & Ian Keith   Not Rated       1930

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Count Van Lambchop are having an argument about the location of Lambchop’s new poultry farm when the zombie of Abbe Lincoln and his subjects come back from the grave and are hungry for brains and both Barons and Counts look good to them, so now the two foes must survive together in order to escape the zombie version of America’s 16th President. Done for the Gem City Gentlemen Of The Gilded Beard charity event.

Movie: Brief vignettes about Lincoln’s early life include his birth, early jobs, (unsubstantiated) affair with Ann Rutledge, courtship of Mary Todd, and the Lincoln-Douglas debates; his presidency and the Civil War are followed in somewhat more detail, though without actual battle scenes; film concludes with the assassination.

Baron Halloween Episode 2

BVP Halloween Special 2: Werewolf Of Ohio
Starring – Josh Weinberg & Matt Hoffman     Not Rated       2001

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and his friend Melvin are going trick or treating and Baron is not following the safety rules and is making all kinds of mistakes, but they soon meet an old man who tells them the story of The Headless Horseman, and little does Baron know that The Headless Horseman is now in New Burlington and has his site on making this Halloween very fighting for our Horror Host.

Movie: Josh is a young man who’s family has been killed by a werewolf and has spent his life trying to track and kill the beast, now with a trusty Cameraman and the world famous Wolf Hunter he tracks down this killer beast for one final showdown.

Baron Horrorhound 2012

BVP HorrorHound 2012 Special: Corpse Vanishes
Starring – Bela Lugosi & Luana Walters     Not Rated       1942

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is a guest at the HorrorHound 2012 convention and has decided to leave Viola Posion and Susie The DJ in charge of his table as he goes on a quest to find and win the heart of Horror Hostess Marlena Midnite of Midnite Mausileum. And while on his quest he stops along the way to talk to his fellow Horror Hosts as well as celeberties in attendance including Gunner Hansen and Doug Bradley. And when Baron finds her will he win her over or chicken out.

Movie: Dr. Lorenz, a mad scientist, wants to keep his elderly wife young. He does this by kidnapping young females and extracting fluid from them. He then injects this fluid into his wife.

Baron Arcade Special

BVP Arcade Special: Beast of Yucca Flats
Starring – Tor Johnson & Conrad Brooks     Not Rated       1961

Host: Baron Von Porkchop heads to the store Game Swap as they have just gotten in a new Pac Man Arcade Machine for play and he is annoyed that he has to wait in line as all he wants to do is play a game of Pac Man and even has brought his tip book as well as Jenkins The Pigman along for the experience. But will Baron be able to play a game before the store closes as the line is long and his anger is rising.

Movie: A defecting Soviet scientist is hit by a nuclear explosion near Yucca Flats and roams around as a beast.

Baron Halloween Special 3

BVP Halloween Special 3: Indie Short Films
Starring – Stephen Alexander & Zach Prater     Not Rated       1990’s-2000’s

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Melvin are dared to stay the night in the haunted graveyard of Dr. Freak by JD The Meatman and with snack food in hand and shaky nerves the two hang out and tell each other ghost stories that are really short films from Indie Horror Film directors. But when Horror Host Dr. Freak shows up will be mad about his trespassing guests or will he join in on the spooky tales of terror this Halloween night.

Movie: Indie Films show are “El Toro 2”, “Hellraiser: Warehouse”, “Mummy vs. The Stalker”, “The Return Of Freddy”, “Bark At The Moon: Malice”, “Bark At The Moon: Scars”, “Nightmare” and “High Hopes”.

Baron Black Friday Special 1

BVP Black Friday Special 1: Farmer Joe
Starring – Mike Ritchie & Henrique Couto     Not Rated       2001

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has made a half man and half chicken creature that was suppose to be for Thanksgiving but had pitty on the creature and let him live, but now the Chicken creature is a menace and is always on his cell phone and is just rude to everyone he comes across! Baron goes to get advice from the BK and learns that he must kill his creation with an ax, but can he do it?

Movie: Danny is a young kid who is being bullied and on a dare goes to a haunted farm and summons the spirit of the crazed Farmer Joe who is out for revenge on the man who sold him bad seeds and ruined his harvest many years ago, but he also has Danny and his bullies on his radar of death, can Danny’s Dad save his sons life and soul, or is all hope lost now that Farmer Joe has returned.

Baron Halloween Special 4

BVP Halloween Special 4: White Zombie
Starring – Bela Lugosi & Madge Bellamy     Not Rated       1932

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Melvin this Halloween decided to rent a small cabin in the country to get away from all of the craziness that they have been through the past three years, but unlucky for them the Fulci Zombie an ax swinging undead serial killer is around and wants to make them both dead! But will Baron and Melvin figure out a way to stop this murdering rampage or will they just be more victims on his ever-growing list.

Movie: A young man turns to a witch doctor to lure the woman he loves away from her fiancé, but instead turns her into a zombie slave.

Baron Black Friday Special 2

BVP Black Friday Special 2: Razor
Starring – Jason Gilmore & Josh Weinberg     Not Rated       2002

Host: Chicken Man is back and is running all around New Burlington causing issues for all the locals and making them all very angry, and they want to know who is the man behind this menace and many point the finger at Count Van Lambchop and Baron now must stop his creation before the town discovers the truth that this cell phone texting annoying chicken is his doing.

Movie: A young man is plagued with memories of a past he seems to have lived and a father who was pure evil, now Mike must unravel a mystery that all leads to a blood drinking killer that has been around for centuries and try and figure out how his life and past are tied to this psycho.

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Baron Von Porkchop is a Horror Host that has brought Dayton, Ohio and beyond viewers laughs, scares and cheesy movies for over 10 years now and the cast of characters that make up New Burlington have all did their part to make this show special. And from the bottom of my heart I want to think every cast member and every fan that has made Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre must see TV and apart of your life, as well as make the dreams of this blogger come true as I have always wanted to create my own show and I cannot think of a better person to create this show with then my cousin Stephen. And like I have said this will not be the only Horror Host Icon update about Baron Von Porkchop so you fans, friends and readers will have more to look forward to in the future. But now lets talk about our next update that will be our Halloween update and will take us away from the world of Horror Hosts and into the world of SOV Horror as we look at a 1990’s gem called “Hatchet”! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch an indie film or two and as always support your local Horror Host. See you next update for some VHS Horror Fun.

HatchetSOV copy

Marvel vs. DC….. Round 1…..FIGHT!

Growing up, horror films were always important to me and nothing could get my attention more than a classic Universal Monster movie.  There was just something about those black and white spooky motion pictures that drew my young mind in, and another thing that always got my attention was horror host shows! Horror hosting is an art that has been around since 1954 when Vampira took to the airwaves in California and hosted bad b-films on late night television.  Many great names have followed that include Zacherley, Marvin, Sammy Terry, Sir Graves Ghastly, Ghoulardi, The Cool Ghoul, Bob Wilkins, Sivad and so many more ghouls took to local airwaves and chilled the blood and tickled the funny bone of their local towns from the 1950’s throughout the 1960’s. Sadly younger fans like myself who weren’t born yet were unable to watch these hosts in their prime, and due to the fact most were shot live or the ones that were taped were erased and reused to film other programs, many of these classic shows are gone forever. Two hosts from this period really have peaked my interest.  The Great Zucchini of Supernatural Theatre started in 1968 on WDCA-TV channel 20 in Washington D.C.and was a one time actor who was horribly burned and now lived in the stations basement and was a mean spirited chap who hated glass and would smash bottles and such with his cane.  He also was very mean to his off screen sidekick Waldo and the viewers.  Zucchini was played by Bill Miller who worked at the station and was fired from the show when he asked for a raise. Next up is The Madman of Des Moines, a host that not much is known about, who hosted flicks in Iowa.  His look was that of a beast type man who looked like he could have been from The Island of Dr. Monroe! If anyone has any of these two’s shows please contact me; I would love to see them and will make it worth your while!

great zucchinithe madman of des moins

Horror hosting continued into the 70’s and many classic iconic hosts were born out of this era that include Dr. Creep, Baron Von Wolfenstein, Fritz The Nite Owl, Svengoolie, The Ghoul, Sir Cecil Creape, Count Scary and many more.  1972 was when Dr. Creep (Barry Hobart) hit the airwaves in Dayton, Ohio with his show Shock Theatre and things would never be the same for those he entertained. Dr. Creep was a loveable ghoul who would host films along co-hosts like Duffy The Dog, Dow Thomas, Obieyoyo, Firma and more.  They would parody TV shows, commercials and music giving the viewers some great laughs before they witnessed the late night horror picture. At a young age I was living in Kettering, Ohio and my brother was going to Beavertown Elementary.  At Christmas time he went on a field trip to Chakeres also known as The Kettering Theater to watch “Sindad and the Eye of the Tiger” and while there he got to meet Mugruff the Crime Dog and more importantly Dr. Creep! My brother won a gift that turned out to be a Transformer and got his picture taken with the pair.  When returning home from school I got an earful about this ghoul named Dr. Creep, and when the picture came I was amazed by this man! After always talking about Dr. Creep my Mom gave in and let us stay up and watch an episode with our dad who was already a fan, and this was the start of my love for horror hosting. My mom also tells me when I was young like 4 or 5 she and my dad took me and my brother to Beavertown for a meet and great with Dr. Creep where I got his autograph! In 1985 Shock Theatre had come to an end, and Channel 22, who ran the show, retired the character and would not allow Barry to don the make-up and cape, leaving the area without a horror host. During his first run, Dr. Creep was a man on a mission as he helped numerous charities and made public appearances whenever he could, making him a true star to all those who got the chance to meet him. But you can’t keep a good ghoul down when in 1999 local filmmaker Andy Copp and RMM Agency owner Rick Martin brought the Creeper back to TV sets with The New Shock Theater that had Creep hosting public domain films on public access.  This ran until 2005. It was during his second run that I got to become friends with Dr. Creep and learned not only about the host but also the man who played the host, Barry Hobart. Getting to spend time with him at conventions like Cinema Wasteland, Scary Camp and Horrorhound Weekend and hanging with him at Foy’s Halloween Shop in Fairborn are memories that are truly special. Sadly Barry Hobart passed away in 2011, and the world lost a true icon in hosting and more important I lost a friend. Halloween in this town won’t be the same with out him.

Creep PartyDr. Creep HorrorhoundDr. Creep and Me

Another host that I have been looking for copies of his show is The Shroud of Nightmare Theatre that ran on Fort Wayne, Indiana WFFT-TV channel 55 from 1979 – 1983. The Shroud wore all black and would wear an almost executioners mask as well as a long cape. The Shroud was a host that took the grim approach and would host the film without jokes and gags and give you the straight terror as he spoke with his deep voice. The Shroud was played by Don Paris, and I would love to see this man come back to host one more show for the fans! Again if you have copies of this show, please let me know.

The Shroud

The 1980’s brought horror hosting to an all new level as major cable networks and companies got into the host business and such horror hosts as Elvira Mistress of the Dark, Joe Bob Briggs, Commander USA and Grandpa Munster all had shows that aired all over the USA. Growing up I tried to never miss an episode of Commander USA’s Groovie Movies that aired on the USA Network and always tried to tape Super Scary Saturday with Grandpa Munster that aired on TBS.  I know a beta tape is floating around somewhere at my brother’s house that has the episode where Grandpa hosts King Kong vs. Godzilla! Joe Bob Briggs was on the Movie Channel so I didn’t get to watch at first but once he jumped to TNT and started hosting Monstervision, I was hooked on his style of hosting. I caught Elvira a few times.  While a fan of her looks and gothic style, I mostly remember her from her film and years later became more of a fan of her show Movie Macabre. These hosts paved the way for many more that include the cast of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and Rhonda Shear & Gilbert Gottfried of USA’s Up All Night. But also local hosts were still going strong with such names as Stella Desire, A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Son of Ghoul and many more, all leading viewers to tune into home grown shows. I loved catching horror host shows in the 80’s and thanks to the magic of trade sites I have been able to get my hands on many great episodes of Commander USA and Grandpa making me feel like a kid again as I watch.

CommanderUSA the manGrandpajoe bob briggs0

The 90’s in hosting still had many of the main stay cable hosts, and lots of the 80’s local hosts stuck around, but this was also the birth of hosts being on public access television.  As local markets changed many stations did away with local made shows, driving the horror host off airwaves and many of them turned to the local accesses stations in order to continue entertaining. This change also led to local access hosts no longer being able to show films owned by major studios like Universal, Paramount or WB and left them with films in the public domain, free of copyright. Great hosts like Dr. Gangrene, Dr. Sarcofiguy, Spooky Spectre, The Gravemaster and more all filled the airwaves entertaining late night viewers.This was truly the birth of a new breed of host, the kind who worked under no strict station rules and were able to make their vision of their own shows.

dr gangrenespooky spectreThe Gravemaster

Now on to the present day hosts, and man there are a lot of them! In this day and age horror host fans are treated to many amazing hosts and best part is they are also treated to legends who after all these years still do a shows from time to time. Horror hosting has become available in many different formats, from syndication TV, public access, direct to DVD, internet, trade lists and downloads, giving fans new ways to watch their favorite host or discover a new one! Plus many horror, sci-fi, car and paranormal conventions book hosts as guests giving the viewer many ways to connect with a host. Some of the modern hosts include Ms. Monster, Roxsy Tyler, Riggor Mortiss, Victor Von Scary, Horror Dungeon, Count Gregula, Uncle Wolf Man, Atomic Age Cinema, Professor Gillman, Mod Ghoul, Wolfman Mac, Marlena Midnite and so many more colorful ghouls. Marlena Midnite hosted a show called “Midnite Mausoleum” alongside Robyn Graves and directed by Blake Powell, and they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet! Marlena is the true definition of what a horror hostess should be and she has so much charm and appeal that I could easily see her being the next big hostess next to Elvira.  Sadly in the Spring of 2013 Midnite Mausoleum stopped production on new episodes, I hope that one day they return to the hosting world.

MidniteRiggorroxsy

Growing up watching the likes of Dr. Creep, Commander USA, A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Grandpa Munster, Joe Bob Briggs and a handful of others made me think to myself “Hey why don’t I dig up a ghoul and make a show of my own,” and that’s what I did in late 2010 when I dug up Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop, and together along with their butler Bean, we made Terrifying Tales of the Macabre. The Baron is a 1800’s Slaughterhouse baron who was the times largest manufacture of pork meats, his lovely wife Baroness was a beauty queen who would always win the annual Slaughterhouse Queen pageant and let’s just say they had an accident that left them both dead that involved a terrible wagon wreck! Now The Baron and friends entertain Dayton area viewers via public accesses stations DATV and MVCC and online station The Monster Channel. Working alongside The Baron has also let me meet some amazing hosts and befriend them like Sammy Terry, Stella Desire, Count Gore De Vol, The Atomic Age Cinema gang, Count Gregula and many more! Terrifying Tales of the Macabre is still going strong with no signs of slowing town and for me this is a blessing for I have found a media that to me feels just like home.

Baron Von PorkchopBaron Episode 15Baroness Von Porkchop

But enough of my small little history lesson about horror hosting, the main reason we are here is to talk about big time battles between two iconic characters that leave you breathless and wondering who is going to win in the epic show down. One of the first movies to do this for me was the 1943 Universal Monster Classic “Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man” in which they paired two of their icons against each other. The film’s plot has Larry Talbot (The Wolf Man) being awaken from his death by two grave robbers and wanting to find a way to find peace whether by death or a cure. Along the way he meets a granddaughter of Dr. Frankenstein and along with another small town doctor they decide to help end the curse, but they also find The Frankenstein Monster who is weak yet alive! In the end the small town Doctor makes the mistake of wanting to see The Monster at full strength and by doing so it’s too late Larry turns into The Wolf Man as The Monster gets his energy back and the two battle before the village damn is blown drowning both monsters.  This film has always been epic to me, and the strangest part about it is that the two monsters don’t really clash at all until say the last 2 or 3 minutes of the film. When the two titans of fright do fight it’s just smacks, jump attacks and sluggish blows.  Imagine two 400 pound wrestlers going at each other and that’s what you get with this fight. While not a slugfest like one would imagine, this film did help pave the way for many other great monster fight films like Freddy vs. Jason, Dracula vs. Frankenstein and even Alien vs. Predator. If you have not seen this film and you love classic horror, check out this Universal Monster mash up.  It’s worth your time.

Frank wolfFrankenstein Meets The Wolf Man PosterMonster chokes Wolfman

In my youth another amazing monster fight film was the 1963 battle between the giant gorilla King Kong and the fire breathing lizard Godzilla. As a kid I was obsessed with Godzilla, and thanks to TV station TBS and shows like Super Scary Saturday, I was able to catch his films on Saturday mornings. I can remember watching it on Super Scary Saturday hosted by Grandpa Munster and being amazed as they had wrestlers from the NWA on acting as the monsters’ managers! King Kong had Michael “P.S.” Hayes in his corner as Godzilla had Jim Cornette in his and Grandpa Munster acted super hyped to witness this battle of the giant rubber suited monsters. The film has Godzilla once more tormenting boats around Japan, and a group goes to an island and drugs and brings back King Kong to make money off off him and to fight and stop Godzilla. The fight is epic as both monsters go for the kill, and both are fired up to win the bragging rights. For some reason in the film King Kong gets stronger if he is struck by lighting, and I heard that this is the case because originally it was supposed to be The Frankenstein Monster fighting Godzilla. In the end there is no clear cut winner as it looks as if maybe King Kong got the upper hand as he crosses the ocean to go back home. If you like pure cheese giant monsters movies and want to watch two of the worlds top big monsters slug it out, then check out this film, but be warned as always there is a lot of human talking that is boring in spots.

Zilla Kong DanceKing Kong vs Godzilla posterKong vs Zilla

Now at this point I could go on about other monster fight films and weed out the good from the bad, but instead I figured before we got into the main events of this entry I would give you all a warm up fight that many of you who love Nike Shoes will be hyped for; none other then basketball player Charles Barkley fighting King of The Monsters Godzilla!! Before we get into the comic, I should explain the commercial this was based on. In 1992 Nike the shoe company decided that it would be a great idea to mix basketball and giant monsters to sell sneakers and hired Charles Barkley who was playing for the Phoenix Suns at the time as the pro player who challenges Godzilla to a game of basketball in Toyko.  It’s never shown how Barkley became a giant, but by the end of the commercial and a slam dunk later Barkley is the winner and the two walk off as friends. This for the time was a cool commercial but looking back at it now, it was a very silly way to hype over priced gym shoes.

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Godzilla vs Barkley 1

Godzilla vs. Barkley # 1  **
Released in 1993   Cover Price $2.95   Dark Horse   1 of 1

Godzilla attacks a Japaneses ship on its way to California.  Meanwhile Matthew and his Grandfather rush to the beach to try and get the chance to talk to NBA Superstar Charles Barkley who is there to film a commercial, but Matthew is pushed away and leaving down in the dirt as his grandpa gives him a magic silver dollar. On that same beach one of the sailers from the ship washes ashore and warns of Godzilla.  No sooner does he speak of the King of Monsters when he is there to wreck the Sunshine State. Matthew rushes to Charles Barkley and with the help of the silver dollar and some push from Matthew, the NBA star becomes a giant and uses his basketball skills to distract Godzilla, and even beating him in a game. After the court beat down Barkley buys Godzilla a giant pair of Nike shoes and his own private court to practice on and keep him busy and becomes a friend to Matthew and his family.

Man, this is one cheese ball comic that is so dumb of an idea that it some how turns out to be super fun. Matthew, the young boy, is your typical “super” fan who believes no one else in the world loves the celebrity like he does and for the most part is also kind of a smart ass. Grandpa is your typical loving elder who is not given much to do in the story besides pass over the magical silver dollar. Charles Barkley is, well, Barkley but is given more of a nice guy attitude when on court and real life he was a hothead and a stiff player. Godzilla at first is a badass but quickly becomes the punching bag to Barkley and his basketball that even is used to bounce off the head of the fire breathing monster. The stupidest moment of this comic is when Godzilla is out in the middle of nowhere wearing a pair of Nike shoes and practicing basketball…WOW who thought this silly stuff up. Over all the art in the comic is well done, and the cover is cool.  This is worth a read to those who love trashy pop culture like myself. 

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In 1976 both Marvel and DC comics got together and decided to put two of their most popular super heros in a comic against each other.  This was after a pitch was made to cross both Superman and Spider-Man together in a film that would not have worked out for both companies who already had projects in the works for both heros. What fans got was a crossover that was in an oversized comic that sparked the imagination and debut of who would really win The Man of Steel or Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. This team up of Marvel and DC was not the first as both titans of funny books put out an oversized comic together in 1975 called MGM’s Marvelous Wizard Of Oz. So before we dive into this battle of the comic, icons let’s take a short look at both super heros.

superman

Tale of the Tape for Superman – Baby Kal-El was shipped to Earth by his parents as his home planet of Krypton exploded, ending life on it forever. Landing in Kansas, he is found by Martha and Johnathon Kent who adopt the space child and name him Clark. Growing up on the farm, Clark finds out as do his adoptive parents that he is special as he is super human strong, has x-ray vision, can fly, has heat vision and so much more. When grown up, he decides that he is going to move to the big city of Metropolis and becomes a reporter and become the cities protector as a hero called Superman. Clark/Superman’s friends consist of Lois Lane the cities top reporter, Jimmy Olson a photographer and Perry White the boss of the newspaper they all work for. Superman also has a hidden base in the Arctic called The Fortress of Solitude that also acts as a learning center for him. His weakness is a green rock from his home planet called Kryptonite that leaves him as weak as a baby and can also lead to his death  Red sun light and magic are the other only things that can hurt him as Superman is almost godlike. His top foes include Lex Luther a super evil smart tycoon, Braniac a robot from space, Doomsday a hulking monster and General Zod an outcast from his home planet. Superman is DC Comics’ strongest Character.

Spider-Man

Tale of the Tape for Spider-Man -Peter Parker was a nerdy high school kid who was raised by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben.  One day Peter is bitten by a radioactive spider during a science expo that leaves him with super powers that include super strength, the ability to climb walls, and have a sensor in his brain that warns him of coming danger that he calls his Spider-Sense. After the murder of his Uncle Ben, Peter makes a costume and becomes Spider-Man, and even makes a strong binding wire that acts as his web that shots out from gadgets on his wrist. Peter later works as a freelance photographer for The Daily Bugle owned by J. Jonah Jameson who goes out of his way to smeer Spider-Man in the papers. Peter’s/Spidey’s friends consist of Mary Jane Watson a super model and later Peter’s wife, Black Cat a one time master thief and girlfriend of Peter’s, Harry Osborne old school pal and his Aunt May. Spider-Man’s weaknesses include his heart because he cares way too much about his loved ones, normal ways to hurt a normal man.  While he can take more, he still is just a man with super powers and a mouth that sometimes distracts him from fights. His foes include Doctor Octopus, Green Goblin, Venom, The Lizard, Scorpion and Vulture to name a few. Spider-Man is the golden boy of Marvel and is also the biggest wise ass next to Deadpool.

Remember I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, its art and story. This review is thanks to a team up of Mavericks Cards and Comics, Ebay and Amazon. And I am reviewing the normal comic size reprints.

Superman vs Spiderman 1

Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man   ***1/2
Released in 1976   Cover Price $5.95   Marvel & DC Comics   #1 of 1

A giant robot is attacking Metropolis and Superman comes to save the day, but he figures out that the robot was just a distraction as the main brain behind the attack is Lex Luther who used to robot to steal a gadget to control satellites but quickly is taken down by Superman and taken to jail. Doctor Octopus has created a ship that he plans on using to steal money and has it hidden in a zeppelin balloon.  But he soon meets up with Spider-Man who makes short work of his arch nemesis and takes him away to jail. Back in Metropolis, Clark Kent and Lois Lane are asked to go to a giant expo that showcases a very powerful satellite; it is held in New York so Peter Parker and Mary Jane are there as audience members. In prison Luther and Octopus team up and escape and have big plans to get even with their nemeses, that will involve pitting them against one another. While the event is being set up, Peter is taking pics and saves Lois Lane who is about to fall off a scaffold and introduces her to Mary Jane.  The two hit it off as a fake Superman appears and zaps both women with a beam leaving them missing as they all disappear. Peter changes into Spider-Man, and Clark changes into Superman.  Both men meet up and blame each other for the attack, leaving the heros at odds.  When Luther zaps Spider-Man with the power of Red Sun rays, the fight is on as they both land hits back and fourth.  Finally the two figure out they have been set up and travel around looking for the answer that finally leads them to space where Lex Luther and Doctor Octopus have Lois and Mary captive and our heros come to save the day and out smart the baddies by making them turn on each other this leading to once more the bad guys going to jail. The heros return to the expo along with the rescued ladies and have pics and footage in hand to give both their alter egos a boost in the corporate ladder of media.

This comic is awesome and shows you that if two major comic companies could put their egos in check, great adventures like this could happen more often. The way that both universes mix comes off really well, and Spider-Man’s wise cracks and Superman’s boyscout image go so well together that you could swear that they both were made by the same companies. Spider-Man comes off as a hero who can handle himself after he is zapped with the red sun ray that leaves him packing more power to his punch and is the only way that he could ever stand toe to toe with Superman.  Plus he does well against both Doc Ock and Luther when it comes to fighting. Superman, even in this team up, comes off as the goody to shoes who is nobel and has to be pushed to let loose on Spider-Man and even doesn’t really let go even when he is taking major hits.  The one thing I did notice is that they play up Superman’s weakness to red sun rays and after thinking about it, I can see why because without it he would smash Spider-Man, Lex Luther and Doc Ock into pink McDonalds Chicken Nugget paste. Lex Luther has always been my least favorite of Superman’s list of AAA villains and once more seems like a throw away as all he does is laugh and set traps.  Doctor Octopus, I feel the same way about.  While a classic bad guy, he just doesn’t do nothing for me when it comes to his character. The fight between Superman and Spider-Man is well done and goes back and fourth giving fans of both moments to cheer for the one they like the most. I found myself cheering for Spider-Man because he was the clear underdog. The art work in this is pure grade A stuff and is the style I like when it comes to comics, that straight cartoon look that lets you know you are reading a funny book. The cover is iconic, and I can remember being a kid and seeing ads in issues that offered this issue in the giant comic size and being amazed and drawn in with thoughts of who would win. This is a cross over done right and is worth checking out for any fans of either heros.

sPIDEY RUNSuperman spidermanSpidey Super Punch

Now with the issue done, let’s take a look at the fantasy warfare aspect of this epic fight and act as if both heros were real people.  We will take them from the closest live action film or show that was around at the time.  So we will be taking the Christopher Reeves’ Superman from the 1978 film and putting him up against the Nicholas Hammond’s Spider-Man from the 1977 CBS TV Show, The Amazing Spider-Man.  We will pit them in an area that is fair to both so let’s say they meet up in Cincinnati, Ohio on Super Bowl Weekend. Let’s see how it would play out in my mind!

superman christopher reeveVSSpiderMan Nicholas Hammond

Peter Parker is in town to cover a NFL Super Bowl event in Cincinnati and has his Spider Sense go off as he spots a con man passing off cheap bootleg copies of New Shock Theater in the arena’s parking lot’s.  As he changes into Spider-Man, he approaches the bootlegger to tell him that pirating movies, music and shows is a crime but as he gets closer the man runs off leaving Spidey with these fake DVD’s and to his shock Superman The Man of Steel is behind him looking on in shame thinking that Spidey is the dirty pirate! When a shout comes from a parked car that Spidey has a ray gun, this statemnet is false and is being shouted by Lex Luther who has set this whole thing up!  As drunk football fans gather around and start cheering Superman rushes to see if there is a gun, and Spidey is able to act fast to dodge the attack due to his amped up senses.  This goes on for a while as Superman punches as Spider-Man dodges and makes his wise ass remarks and tries to pepper him with blows but learns that hitting Superman is not smart as it break every bone in his hand.  As Spider-Man grabs his hand in pain, this leaves enough time for Superman to place a light uppercut to Spidey’s Jaw leaving him knocked out and the loser of this bootleg battle.

Winner – Superman

I know that was a silly one, but I tried to put some humor and cheese to it much like the 77 TV show, but now let’s get onto the co-main event of the entry and that’s yet another Marvel and DC crossover as The Worlds Greatest Detective Batman faces the Rampaging Hulk! This is going to be epic! And now let’s take a quick look at these heros’ backgrounds.

BATMAN

Tale of the Tape for Batman – Bruce Wayne was just a boy when both his mother and father were gunned down in a robbery that he witnessed. Wanting to do something about all the crime in his town of Gotham as he got older, he became a well trained fighter and thinker and donned a costume and became Batman. This super hero is super smart and has many wonderful gadgets and vehicles at his disposal.  He also has a hideout called The Bat Cave where he is able to use a super computer that can give him info on any opponent or object giving him the upper hand of knowing his opponents and their weakness. He is also highly trained in combat and is super smart. Batman’s friends include Robin his sidekick, Alfred his Butler, Batgirl and Commissioner Gordon. Batman’s weakness are the fact he is human, just smart and well trained, and his brooding can leave him open for attacks. Some of his foes include The Joker, Killer Croc, Bane, The Riddler and Mr. Freeze. Batman is DC’s cash cow and is also their most popular character to mention he one kick ass character.

HULK

Tale of the Tape for Hulk – Bruce Banner is accidentally transformed into a raging green monster known as The Hulk whenever he is upset or angry. As The Hulk, he is unstoppable, and the madder he gets, the stronger he gets making him dangerous to tangle with. The Hulk mostly wants to be left alone and hates his other side, Bruce Banner, who he views as weak. The Hulk’s major weapon is his pure power that is beyond measure.  Most known weapons cannot hurt him, and in one single leap he can move several miles. His friends include Betty Ross, the woman Bruce and The Hulk love and Rick Jones, a young man who Bruce saved from the explosion. His major weakness is the fact his brain is child-like and he can be out smarted into losing or even doing the wrong thing. His foes include The Abomination, The Leader, Madman and Zzzax. The Hulk is the strongest character in the Marvel Universe that is still somewhat human and is a force to be reckoned with.

So now that you’ve gotten a brief look at the two heros, let’s dive into this cool team up!

Batman vs Hulk 1

Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk # 1  ***1/2
Released in 1982   Cover Price $3.95   Marvel & DC Comics   #1 of 1

Bruce Banner is working at a lab that is in control of a gamma gun machine that he thinks could be the key to curing the curse of becoming The Hulk and to his horror the Clown Prince of Crime, The Joker and his goons show up to steal the machine.  As they are doing so, they set off Banner who becomes The Hulk as Batman also shows up to stop the crime. Joker tricks Hulk into thinking Batman is the bad guy, and he goes full force after the Dark Knight who must outsmart the brute with gas in order to escape his mighty fury. After the fight, the Joker gets away with the gun as Batman has The Hulk taken away and once he becomes Banner again as Bruce Wayne he is given a job to help himself find a cure. The Joker is working for The Shaper of Worlds who lives off the dreams of humans who needs the gun in order to get his mind on straight for he is slipping into madness. After the gun fails to give him what he needs he sets his sights on The Hulk and wants to drain him of his gamma power in order to cure himself.  This eventually leads to Batman and The Hulk teaming up against The Joker who has been granted a wish to become a bender of reality and uses his power to torment the heros in an Alice in Wonderland environment that leads to Batman outsmarting the Joker and making him fry his own brain out. In the end The Shaper leaves Earth, Banner moves onto the next town, Batman is still Batman and The Joker is nuts in a asylum.

This works really well, and while Batman holds his own against The Hulk when they fight it makes sense as he just outsmarts the brute at any chance he gets. While I am a huge fan of The Hulk and only like Batman, I can see why some fans get upset that The Hulk just doesn’t crush Batman where he stands, but to that I would say if he just smashed him the comic would only be like two pages long. Batman and his alter ego Bruce Wayne come off smart and caring as he seems to really feel for Banner and even The Hulk.  The way he is able to team up with The Hulk and get his help when needed is pretty good stuff. The Hulk and his alter ego Bruce Banner come off as they always do, a man sad with a curse and a monster who just loves to smash things when he is pushed. Who would have thought that one of the comic world’s smartest character could team with one of the child like minded characters and they would make such a great team. The Joker plays the henchman to The Shaper and comes of scared of this giant alien who wants all the dreams, and when he goes mad with power its a true sign of just how crazy he is. The Shaper Of Worlds is more of a Mind Freak like Criss Angel as in he just messes with characters minds and don’t really fight in the war that breaks out in his new Earth Warehouse base. My favorite moment of the Batman and Hulk fight is when Hulk has Bats in a bear hug and is crushing his spine, and Batman does this karate chop to his ears making him go deaf for a moment and dropping him, good classic comic stuff. The story in this one is well written.  The art is fantastic, and the cover is super eye catching this one is great and only slightly less awesome then the Superman vs. Spider-Man comic, well worth checking out for fans of Hulk or Batman.

Batman kick hulkHulk Batman super fighthulkbatman2

Now let’s get onto the fantasy warfare of The Incredible Hulk fighting Batman if they were real people. For this one we have to go with the Adam West Batman from the 1966 ABC show called, you guessed it, Batman and for The Hulk we would go with Lou Ferrigno version from the 1977 CBS show The Incredible Hulk. Let’s set the fight up at a Horror Convention in Salem, Massachusetts and see who would win this fight!

Batman Adam WestVSHulk and David

A horror convention is near closing down for the night as guests like Vincent Price, Horror Host Sammy Terry and Christopher Lee are packing up when a drifter comes walking by.  It’s David Banner and he has his backpack close and his eyes to the ground when a masked man dressed as Phantom of The Opera runs by and grabs the backpack knocking David down, and as one final insult the thief kicks David in the ribs causing pain and anger.  As the transformation starts to happen, the Batmobile pulls up and Batman jumps into action giving the thief and pow and a bang to the jaw.  As Batman is about to use the batcuffs on the snatcher, The Hulk appears and is not happy as Batman sprays his batmace into the brute’s eyes causing the green skinned monster to swing wild and smashing the Batmobile into scarp iron.  Batman then pulls out some of his anti-bully batgas pellets and throws them in the direction of The Hulk who by now is seeing red through his burning eyes and as the gas comes out he lets out a thunderclap that blows the smoke back at Batman who is now blinded.  As Batman waits for the smoke to clear, the Hulk is on him and with one powerful blow to the top of the head of Batman he is able to crush the caped crusader into a pile of hamburger meat. As Batman lies dying, The Hulk runs way into the woods next to the convention center to later change into David Banner and not remember the fact he killed the world’s silliest detective.

Winner – The Incredible Hulk

Was it any surprise that The Hulk would win? So in this update we took a look at Horror Hosts, Godzilla in Nike Shoes, Spider-Man fighting Superman and Batman and The Hulk Teaming up.  I hoped you all enjoyed. But the VS. don’t end here with this blog as next time we will take a look at a great mini series from Topps Comics that pits Frankenstein’s Monster against Count Dracula! We will also take a look at the old Independent B Movie film I directed called Werewolf of Ohio 2: 10 Years Before, so until then stay nerdy and read a good comic series for me.

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