Horror Host Icon: Baron Von Porkchop

Dayton, Ohio really does have its fair share of Horror Host history, with many of them being household names and each meaning something to their viewers. Names like Dr. Creep, The Creeper and A. Ghastlee Ghoul have graced the TV Screens of many late night viewers and each have inspired and entertained generations of Monster Kids and each of them helped shape my creative mind in their own ways. And in 2010 the Dayton market was pretty dry when it came to Horror Hosts as Iris & Retina of Mondo Smash A’Go-Go had slowed down and reruns of New Shock Theater and The Ghastlee Movie Show were hard to find on the access stations DATV and MVCC, and then that void was filled when Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales of the Macabre hit DATV like a frightening freight train! And still to this day Baron Von Porkchop is the cities current King of late night viewing and a fan favorite to many. This Horror Host Icon update will be one that will not only talk about Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre, but will also give a little behind the scenes and facts that many do not know. So it’s with great honor and pride that I bring to you readers Horror Host Icon: Baron Von Porkchop. So let’s travel to Porkchop Manor and see what BVP has in store for us.

Baron Von Porkchop is a ghoul who originally died in the 1800’s after a wagon accident that also left his wife The Baroness dead! The couple was buried in two different locations when their enemy Count Van Lambchop paid for their burials as a fake act of kindness to impress the townspeople of New Burlington. Decades passed and in 2010 Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop where dug up and come back to life and while Ghouls they continue their lives at their now moved Manor as their old town of New Burlington was flooded and the town moved to a hidden location in Ohio. And while their pork meat empire slaughter houses are now closed they did generate money while they were dead and their bank account is well stocked with cash and making it very easy for them to continue on and have all types of adventures around the state of Ohio. Baron Von Porkchop dresses in a nice black coat, with a top hat, blue vest, glasses with a magnifier and has very pale grayish skin. While he is a ghoul he is not a flesh eater and has a very fun loving nature with a hint of an ego. He really enjoys hosting the movies and bringing his viewers his show as his “Piggies” as he calls them are like his close friends. Baron is very much in love with The Baroness as he would do anything to make her happy, and his best friend is the family butler Bean. Baron Von Porkchop besides his show has done lots of cool things in and around Dayton as he has hosted a Halloween Theme Dinner party at Lily’s Bistro, he has been a guest and attended conventions like HorrorHound Weekend, I.C.E. and Cinema Wasteland to name a few. He has hosted movies at theaters Englewood Cinema and Danbarry Huber Heights. He has hosted verity show “Dirty Little Secrets” at Wiley’s Comedy Club. At Gilly’s Jazz club an event called “Baron’s Ball” was held that had many great music acts play for Baron and his guests, not to mention he even hosted the freakshow event called “Captain Johnny’s Whiz Bang” at Gilly’s. He has attended Halloween Parties for fans and even has done charity events. Plus he has appeared in comic books namely “Shocking Macabre Theater” by Sparkle Comics. As you can see Baron does lots of great things for fans to enjoy, and he has no plans of slowing down anytime soon. Stephen Alexander II is the man who plays Baron Von Porkchop and is not only my cousin but also was a founding member of the “Gem City Gentlemen Of The Gilded Beard” a beard club that did events for charity, he also is a writer for comic book company Sparkle Comics and is a pretty creative guy who also makes custom Funko Pop! Figures, creates enamel pins and repairs old smoking pipes.

Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre began in 2010 and started airing on DATV, MVCC and The Monster Channel with host Baron Von Porkchop and took viewers by storm as the area of Dayton, Ohio was in need of an active Horror Host as many of the hosts had taken time away or retired. Out the gate Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre gained a great following with loyal viewers who enjoyed Baron Von Porkchop and the crazy world around him. The show is still going strong as of 2021 and has had a number of regular episodes as well as many specials, showing that BVP is here to stay! The show is one that takes Baron all around the city of Dayton as well as conventions and events and even has guests and story arches…it’s like a Horror Host sitcom wrapped around cheesy films. Baron on the show not only hosts classic public domain films but also hosts many independent films of all types of budgets. Baron has even hosted wrestling matches from Rockstar Pro Wrestling for a special. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre is a staple of Dayton airwaves and still has many more episodes and specials to come.

But did you know that Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre was original going to be new episodes of Shock Theater and was slated to be the return of Dr. Creep as Dayton’s Horror Host? For years Dr. Creep and I talked about bringing his show back as while his health was on a decline he had the itch to get back to hosting movies and entertaining viewers. So to prepare for his return I wrote out several episode ideas and decided to film a Horror Host show that would be just seen by my friends in order to truly get ready for Dr. Creep’s return. So while chatting with my cousin Stephen we decided that he would act as the host and the name Baron Von Porkchop was created by me due to his sideburns. We came up with an idea of Baron going fishing to capture a Creature From The Black Lagoon type fish monster in order to serve him to dinner guests, Baron was more of a snarling sinister type Host with a toned down voice, in other words he was more played on fear and not laughs. We choose the movie Night Fright to host and once filmed I made generic opening credits for the show we were calling “Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre” and once edited I burnt it onto a DVD and gave copies to a few fiends including Rick Martin and Andy Copp both who brought back Dr. Creep with New Shock Theater back in the late 90’s, and the response we got from the episode and Baron Von Porkchop was overwhelming with everyone saying that we should do more episodes and turn him into an ongoing Horror Host! Andy Copp told me he thought I had something special with Baron and even said that he could get it aired on public access station DATV, and with those kind words among many others Stephen and I decided that we would indeed keep Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as it’s own series and when Dr. Creep’s health would get better I would do both shows! Sadly Dr. Creep’s health only got worse and on January 14, 2011 the world lost this amazing man and host, and this was very sad for not only Dayton but for all who enjoyed Dr. Creep’s antics.

As the show grew I knew that I had to cast my friend and then co-worker Stephanie Stidham in the show so she became Baroness Von Porkchop, and the show just kept growing from there. While working on Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre BVP has had the pleasure of working with many of the Horror Hosts from Dayton’s past like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak and Iris & Retina and this to me shows the bond that our area hosts have together. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has become a true Friday night tradition for many viewers as we have gotten fan snail mail and emails from viewers as even our home station of DATV has gotten mail about how much the shows means to our viewers and one amazing thing was a local retirement home have movie nights watching Baron! Heck even during the 2020 pandemic we even filmed a few Specials to help our viewers out and give them some laughs during the hard time. I truly love creating the show Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre alongside my cousin Stephen and we have more ideas and spooky, silly adventures planned for Baron coming up over the next few years.

As like all good Horror Hosted shows Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has it’s fair share of amazing cohosts and sidekicks that live in and around the Porkchop Manor. The lovely Baroness Von Porkchop is the voice of reason when it comes to the decisions made in and around the Manor, she is elegant and stunning and was a former Miss Slaughterhouse Pageant winner and is one of New Burlington’s most beautiful women, The Baroness is played by Stephanie Stidham. Bean is the longtime hunchback butler for the Porkchop’s and is the one who for over a century took care of Porkchop Manor and is responsible for finding them and bringing them back to life, he is a silly goofy man who helps BVP get into all types of wacky adventures and always encourages his off the wall and lazy ways. Bean is played by Bruce Lerma who is the nephew of Horror Hosts Iris and Retina from Mondo Smash A’ Go-Go! Jenkins The Pigman was the first pigman experiment that BVP and Bean created and they decided not to kill him for his meat and keep him as a member of the manor, Jenkins is very strong and also has a darkside and will do whatever he can to protect Baron and Baroness. Jenkins The Pigman was played originally by Gary Wolf and later on by myself among others. The manors cook is JD The Meatman a loyal and skilled meat cutter who has worked for Baron in his old slaughterhouse and now works in his kitchen, JD is played by artist Eric Shonborn. Viola Poison was at one time the maid for Porkchop Manor and was skilled in not only cleaning but also using Poison, she also had a massive crush on the Baron and this is what lead to her leaving the Manor, Viola was played by Emily Marshall. And these are the main sidekick characters that make up Porkchop Manor!

The Baron also has some friends in and around town that includes his neighbors Sleazy Tom a laid back ladies man who while sleazy does have a good heart who was played by Max Ervin (who sadly passed away in 2013) and on the other side is Mr. G the lizard headed mascot form the closed down Renaissance Music Media store who is enjoying retirement and is still played by Geoff Burkman. The Son Of Hercules a strong man of myth and legend and is one of Barons best friends and is played by Mike Ritchie. Melvin is a monster-faced goofball who is the helper of Stephen Von Frankenstein and enjoys hanging out with Baron and is his Halloween buddy, Melvin is played by the legendary local actor Josh Weinberg! And this is just a drop in the hat of the townies that live in New Burlington as names like Oliver The Werewolf, Mr. Pepperton, Susie The DJ, Beerwolf, Wolf Hunter Duke, BK King, Reporter Ted The Fox, Mr. O and so many others make up the townies.

Also Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has had some review hosts that make up one of the shows segments with the original being Reverend Zealot who brought back The Cult Corner that he use to do on New Shock Theater that was hosted by Dr. Creep! Filmmaker Andrew Copp played Reverend Zealot for the second season and sadly he passed away in 2013 making another loss for the show. Brett does video game reviews on his Bad Or Rad segment that started in the third season and he is blogger Brett Prescott. Both Zealot and Brett help make episodes of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre more special for viewers and both are vital to making the show even more fun.

But while BVP has his fair share of friends he also has those in New Burlington who dislike him and the fact he hosts movies for viewers of Public Access, and these sticks in the mud want to end Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre…or even take it over! His main nemesis is Count Van Lambchop the poultry King played by Thomas Smith who is extremely competitive and is upset that he did not become the host of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as he and his wife the lovely Countess Van Lambchop played by Jaimie Mazzone were resurrected before the Von Porkchops. They also have a very loyal butler named Cornbread who dislikes Baron, but he truly cannot stand Bean! The three of them do whatever they can to annoy and be thorns in the side of Baron as they think they should be the center of attention. The next major hater of BVP is Baron Von Porkchop Jr. played by musician Todd The Fox is a crazy fraud he has the people of New Burlington believing that he is truly his son, he is manipulative as well as short tempered and dangerous! And this is just a drop in the hat of the villains of the show as names like Chicken Man, Fulci Zombie, Headless Horseman, The Sadness, Crazed Fan and David J. Getz also cause issues. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre is like no other Horror Host show from the area as it truly does have a massive world and tons of characters that make it up.

When Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre started up as a full show I spent so much time building the world of New Burlington and knew that I wanted it to be filled with all types of townies from normal people, monsters, retired mascots and even movie characters from indie made films…and one other character that was planned was Baby Von Porkchop who was going to be The Baron and Baroness’s daughter that was going to be played by my friend KD Cyr, the character would have been stuck in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey and would have sent video messages to her parents about her adventures from the haunted woods. You see KD lived near the barrens and was a creative soul that I meet on social media and we hit it off as both of us loved Horror and cheesy movies, and when creating the character I had her 100% in mind and she as well helped create the attitude and storyline for Baby. I was so excited to have her on board for the show and at one point an episode was planned that would have had Baron, Baroness and Bean heading into the Pine Barrens to find her only to have a run in with the Jersey Devil of course! KD would do some trial run footage with a friend and make-up designs, but would never share as she always said that footage was bad as she was nervous in it, and I would encourage her and of course put no stress on her. We put off the characters debut so that she could find what worked for her with playing Baby, and all was going well. But sadly in 2015 the world lost a truly amazing person as KD passed away from a car accident when a reckless driver crashed into the back of her car. Truly heartbreaking news when I found out and even if she never made an appearance on the show she is still to all of us a part of our cast family, and I felt it was only right when writing about the show that she gets the respect she deserves. My deepest sympathy goes to her family and friends as she was an amazing and creative soul.

One thing that I love seeing is fan art done by our viewers as well as just fans of Horror Hosting and over the years we have gotten some pretty amazing pieces of art sent to us! Crazy even some of the artists have who sent us some of the art ended up being on the show! As a creator of Baron Von Porkchop and Sparkle Comics when anyone takes the time to make art for us it’s very appreciated and we love seeing them! Below is some art from many of the talented artists who have drawn BVP over the years. And I want to also send out a massive thank you to everyone who has ever sent us fan art or done art featuring Baron Von Porkchop or any of the cast of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre. Artwork below features ones done by Brett Prescott, Eric Shonborn, MonkeyGoatBoy and Bradley Beard.

Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has had many regular episodes as well as specials over the years and each of them I enjoyed making, being apart of and even watching, but one has always stood out as the most important episode to me and that was Episode 8 as it was the tribute to the late Dr. Creep who passed away before the episode was filmed. The original idea for the episode was it was suppose to be Baron Von Porkchop hosting a dinner party that the guest of honor was to be Dr. Creep who would have taken over the episode sharing stories of his years of being a Horror Host and they would have hosted a Bela Lugosi film. But sadly Dr. Creep who was in poor health passed away on January 14, 2011 at the age of 69, and this was a sad day for all of Ohio and those of use who grew up watching Dr. Creep and knew the man behind the grease paint. And the episode that was suppose to be his comeback to TV ended up being turned into a celebration of his life and memory. The episode was turned into The Baron and Baroness throwing a dinner party to honor Dr. Creep’s memory and had many of his friends on talk about his life and tell fun stories. Many names showed up like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak, Jeff McClellan, Rick Martin, Geraldo The Hunchback, Reverend Zealot, Mr. G and even characters like Melvin, Duke The Wolf Hunter and Son Of Hercules showed up to pay respects. After the guests shared their stories we showed classic clips of Dr. Creep from Shock Theater. It was very magical hearing each of these guys sharing their stories of traveling, hanging out and working with Dr. Creep. Many also told stories of meeting him for the first time or shared stories he had told them…it was very magical and was something that I hope he would have been proud of. Below is a picture from that film shoot with all the people involved in one shot. Well I need to also say thanks to Juliet Fromholt, Emily Marshall, Maurice Smith, Josh Weinberg and Eric Shonborn all who helped makes the special possible but are not in the picture.

For me one of the greatest honors of doing and creating this show was when on September 11, 2021 when Baron Von Porkchop was inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame as part of the 2020 class in Ohio! BVP took his place with the other Icons from Dayton that was placed in the Hall Of Fame like Dr. Creep, A. Ghastlee Ghoul and The Creeper! This introduction was well attended and BVP was inducted by “The Mummy and The Monkey” an amazing Horror Host duo from Cleveland, Ohio. It was really cool seeing Baron on stage getting the honor of being inducted in, as the years of hard work paid off and it was awesome to see the fans clap for him to get this honor. While the Hall Of Fame was very odd as it was a smaller event due to the on going pandemic and some audio issues plagued the start of the ceremony it was something very special for BVP and myself.

Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as you can see is a show that has became a main stay in Dayton, Ohio and has expanded to the world thanks to the online stations like The Monster Channel and even the online viewing streams of DATV and MVCC. And really one of the biggest honors making this show is getting feedback from the fans as well as being inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame thanks to fan votes as well as votes from his peers. And we are now at the point of this review to talk about the episodes and I decided to not cover all of the episodes of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as I will cover Baron Von Porkchop again in the future so I decided to cover seasons one and two as well as the specials that went along with those two seasons. The movies plots will be taken from our pals at IMDB with some being written by myself as well as all the hosts segments. So if you are ready lets spend sometime at Porkchop Manor and have some fun with BVP and his friends that make up New Burlington.

TTOTM: House On Haunted Hill
Starring – Vincent Price & Carol Ohmart         Not Rated       1959

Host: Earl The Gravedigger leads Baroness Von Porkchop and Bean to a dug up gravesite and when the coffin opens its Baron Von Porkchop! Once back at the manor that is located in New Burlington they get cleaning as the place is dusty and Baron even meets his neighbor Sleazy Tom for the first time that wants him to watch his 1900 # dating ad. In the end Baron informs the Piggies at home that we will be returning next week with a new spooky film to share with them.

Movie: Eccentric millionaire Fredrick Loren and his 4th wife, Annabelle, have invited 5 people to the house on Haunted Hill for a “haunted House” party. Whoever will stay in the house for one night will earn ten thousand dollars each. As the night progresses, all the guests are trapped inside the house with ghosts, murderers, and other terrors.

TTOTM: Driller Killer
Starring – Abel Ferrara & Carolyn Marz     Not Rated     1979

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and his friend and butler Bean are working in the manors garage on making a pig man in order to raise and then slaughter and sell his meat as Pig Man Sausage! Throughout the episode Baron and Bean work on the Pigman trying to give him life and add organs as well as use electricity to try and start his heart. In the end when all looks as if it has failed the Pigman rockets up to life and runs from the garage…Baron and Bean end the issue by shooting the Pigman dead so that he would not run amuck in New Burlington.

Movie: Reno is an artist struggling to survive in NYC. He draws inspiration from scenes of daily street life and occasional random violence. Under pressure to finish his oft-delayed grand masterpiece, his psychotic alter-ego takes over and he begins killing random vagrants to boost his creativity, not quite realizing that it is happening in reality. When an art dealer grimly rejects Reno’s finished masterpiece, Reno’s mental condition quickly deteriorates.

TTOTM: Frankenstein ‘80
Starring – Gordon Mitchell & Xiro Papas     Not Rated     1972

Host: While walking through the woods Baron Von Porkchop runs into a weird looking creature man named Melvin who informs him that Stephen Von Frankenstein needs his help! As Baron follows Melvin to Castle Frankenstein he is told by Stephen that his Monster is now free and wondering the woods! So Baron along with Melvin go looking for The Monster only to find him in a very bad mood!

Movie: A mad scientist creates a monster called “Mosaico,” who breaks out of the laboratory to hunt down and kill beautiful women.

TTOTM: Ulysses Against The Son Of Hercules
Starring – Mike Lane & Georges Marchal     Not Rated     1962

Host: Baron, Baroness and Bean get a call from The Son Of Hercules that he needs their help in order to get back a golden apple that is in the hands of an old witch that is inside a haunted collage! So brave Baron and Bean take the quest and leave Baroness behind, while on the quest the encounter a zombie and ghosts before coming face to face with the witch…the coward out and run away before getting the apple. On their way back to face The Son Of Hercules they are coming up with a story in why they failed in the quest only to be greeted by the Baroness who had went the quest along and retrieved the apple!

Movie: Ulysses offends the gods by blinding the Cyclops, so they send Hercules to capture him and bring him to them.

TTOTM: Five Minutes To Live
Starring – Johnny Cash & Ron Howard     Not Rated     1961

Host: Baron and Baroness head to grocery store Big Bear in Lebanon, Ohio in order to sell them his freshly made Pigman sausage as when he was alive that chain was very much into stocking his quality pork products. But to their horror Big Bear is out of business and hanging around was one of the stores old managers who tells them they should sell their meat by going door to door…and Baron and Baroness do just that and turn it into a computation on who can sell more! The split up and meet all types of strange people trying to sell them this meat…in the end The Baroness comes out the winner!

Movie: Fred narrates the film in flashback, detailing a suburban bank robbery that goes awry. In his simple plan, he hires a hard-up hood, Johnny Cabot to take the wife of the bank’s vice president hostage. Cabot will hold her until he gets a call alerting him that Fred has been successful in getting ransom money. Cabot waits, and watches the Wilson house as the husband leaves for the bank and their young son heads off to school. Posing as a door-to-door guitar instructor, he forces his way into the house and takes Nancy Wilson hostage. At the bank, Fred talks his way into Ken Wilson’s office, and presents his personal check for $70,000, intending that Wilson will withdraw the funds to cover the check as a ransom for his wife. He has Wilson call home to prove that Nancy is being held by the unstable Cabot, and gives Wilson 5 minutes to make his.

TTOTM: Fury Of The Wolfman
Starring – Paul Naschy & Perla Cristal     Rated PG     1972

Host: Baron Von Porkchop gets the invite of a lifetime as he is able to sit down and have a one of one interview with world famous werewolf hunter Duke! Duke The Wolf Hunter was seen in the second shot on video film “The Wolf Hunter II” and shares is secrets of hunting down werewolf scum. Also along for this amazing interview is Bean who is star struck by the hunter, as well as a heck of a lot of blood sucking Cicadas who are trying to ruin Baron’s show!

Movie: Waldimar Daninsky, a lone survivor of a Tibetian expedition, returns home to find his wife has been unfaithful to him. Carrying the curse of the pentagram (or pentagon, as stated by the monk who nursed him back to health), the fury of the wolfman is unleashed! After disposing of his cheating spouse, he finds himself captive in a castle by a female mad scientist conducting mind control experiments. In a vein attempt at escape, he discovers the freaks left over from past experiments dwelling in the dungeons.

TTOTM: Night Fright
Starring – John Agar & Dorothy Davis     Not Rated     1967

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is going fishing to try and snag a fish creature using Beans brain as bait! He is trying his hardest to capture this creature as he wants to serve his meat to his dinner guests that are gathering the next episode to honor the late great Dr. Creep! In the end Baron is able to snag the creature!

Movie: A government space experiment into the effects of cosmic rays on animal life goes horribly wrong, creating a mutant monster that terrorizes a rural community.

TTOTM: Dr. Creep Tribute
Starring – Dr. Creep & Dow Thomas     Not Rated     1970-1990

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop are throwing a dinner part to honor Dr. Creep the Dayton, Ohio iconic Horror Host. They have JD The Meatman cook up the Creature Meat and have snacks and treats for the guests as Bean escorts them to the dinner table. Guests include Rick Martin, A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Jeff McClellan American, Dr. Freak, Geraldo The Hunchback, Duke The Wolf Hunter, Son Of Hercules, Melvin, Mr. G and Reverend Zealot and they all share amazing and fun Dr. Creep stories and myths.

Movie: Clips of Dr. Creep over the ages from his shows Shock Theatre, Saturday Night Dead and New Shock Theater. As well as some of his public appearances over the years at events.

TTOTM: Independent Short Films
Starring – Dave Wean & Kipp Poe     Not Rated     1990’s-2000’s

Host: The Baroness wants Baron and Bean to clean up the garage as its getting out of hand with boxes that is filled with old media, toys and forgotten relics…but cleaning is no fun so they decide to dig out some independently made horror short films and share them with the Piggies at home! They also find out that Mr. G has moved in next-door and he as well shares a short film! And when all said and done Baron and Bean do nothing and the Baroness is not very happy!

Movie: Indie short films shown on this episode are “The Cask Amontillado”, “Dreadful”, “Callback”, “Songs In The Key Of Satan” and “Outpost 31”.

TTOTM: Phantom From 10,000 Leagues
Starring – Dave Wean & Kipp Poe     Not Rated     1955

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is very distracted from hosting the nights film as he has gotten himself a video game console and is playing the game Space Invaders as he thinks that by playing the game he is saving the Earth. He is so focused that he is ignoring the issues of the manor as well as his wife The Baroness and friends Sleazy Tom, Bean and Jenkins The Pigman!

Movie: An unusual radioactive rock on the sea bottom mutates the ocean life into a horrible monster. When charred, radioactive bodies begin to drift ashore a scientist and government agent investigate the phenomenon, and it’s connection to a local marine biology professor.

TTOTM: Quiet Nights Of Blood And Pain
Starring – Amanda DeLotelle & Loren Goins     Not Rated     2009

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has cult indie filmmaker Andy Copp over to the manor to chat about his legacy of making films, television shows as well as his work with Dr. Creep. And of course Bean is around to make sure their guest is uncomfortable or is that comfortable?

Movie: The movie deals with two soldiers home from the Iraq war suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but in vastly different ways. One see’s her life falling apart in night-terrors, flashbacks, insomnia, and a total lack of government support. The other still believes he is fighting the war now that he is back on American soil. Still convinced he is supposed to torture and kill any and everyone who can be viewed as Anti-American. Soon they will be at a crossroads and blood will be flooding the American streets.

TTOTM: White Pongo
Starring – Richard Fraser & Maris Wrixon     Not Rated     1945

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Bean are on the hunt for a creature that broke into the manor and stole one of the Baronesses little figures! The two head to the woods and soon find that they are looking for a Were-Gorilla, and they try to get the item back as well as avoid its rage.

Movie: Suspecting that a safari guide is a wanted killer, undercover policeman Geoffrey Bishop joins a safari led by the suspect for a scientist that hopes to find and prove that a fabled white gorilla is a missing link.

TTOTM: I Eat Your Skin
Starring – William Joyce & Heather Hewitt     Rated PG     1971

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop get a visitor who claims he is their long lost son, but the thing is they never had a son! Baron Von Porkchop Jr. starts to be a menace around the manor as well as starts to interfere in the personal life and business life of Baron that causes him lots of issues. But it’s soon seen that BVP Jr. is not stable and Baron must find a way to get ride of him once and for all.

Movie: A cancer researcher on a remote Caribbean island discovers that by treating the natives with snake venom he can turn them into bug-eyed zombies. Uninterested in this information, the unfortunate man is forced by his evil employer to create an army of the creatures in order to conquer the world.

TTOTM: Atomic Age Vampire
Starring – Susanne Loret & Alberto Lupo     Not Rated     1960

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is forced to find a job as Baroness is sick of him just hanging around the manor so he gets hired to be a DJ at New Burlington’s radio station. And of course Baron has no clue what he is doing and causes all kinds of havoc on the air as well as broadcasting dead air!! And as fast as he is hired he hides so they can not fire him.

Movie: A stripper is horribly disfigured in a car accident. A brilliant scientist develops a treatment that restores her beauty and falls in love with her. To preserve her appearance the doctor must give her additional treatments using glands taken from murdered women. His unexplained ability to turn into a hideous monster helps with this problem but does nothing to win her love. The doctor’s woes multiply as the police and the girl’s boyfriend begin to close in on him.

TTOTM: Wolf Hunter 1 & 2
Starring – Matt Hoffman & Jason Gilmore     Not Rated     2001/2006

Host: Baron Von Porkchop heads to the werewolf infested Malice’s Bridge in order to get an interview with the famous Wolf Hunter, but he soon finds out that the hero is not showing up but instead he is being stalked by many werewolves from Independent B Movie films like Scars, Red-Eye, Man-Beast and Oliver. But lucky for BVP his luck foils many of their attempts to make him dinner.

Movie: The Wolf Hunter: Malice king of all werewolves is rampaging in Ohio and a business owners daughter has been kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend who is now a werewolf and the states only hope is The Wolf Hunter. Wolf Hunter 2: Malice is still on the loose and now his biggest rival Ravenger has entered Ohio and a werewolf turf war is about to go down, and The Wolf Hunter who is trying to kill off the werewolves and keep order has his own issues when Duke another Wolf Hunter is called in. Can the two work together and stop this werewolf invasion?

TTOTM: Vampire
Starring – John Beal & Coleen Grey     Not Rated     1957

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop get sad news that their butler and friend Bean has to leave the manor as he has found a wife and plans on starting his own family. And now Baron and Baroness must hold interviews in order to find his replacement and all types of people show up in order to get the job and some of them are perfect fits while others are weirdoes. In the end BVP shoots them all down before hiring maid Viola Poison strictly on her good looks. Lots of cool cameos in this episode including Geraldo The Hunchback from New Shock Theater.

Movie: A kind, small-town doctor mistakenly ingests pills made from vampire bat blood and they turn him into a dangerous fanged creature.

TTOTM: Legend Of Bigfoot
Starring – Ivan Marx & Peggy Marx     Rated PG     1975

Host: Baron Von Porkchop gets fellow Dayton, Ohio Horror Hosts Iris & Retina to help him hunt down a Bigfoot as he needs the creatures meat in order to make his famous BigFoot Chili to enter into the New Burlington Chili Cook-Off! The Horror Hosts wonder around the woods and hear the yells of the creature as well as find the evidence that they need to know they are on the right track. And in the end Baron is able to take down one of the creatures.

Movie: A documentary about the legendary creature, Bigfoot, with emphasis on him being the missing link.

TTOTM: Undertaker And His Pals
Starring – Warrene Ott & James Westmoreland     Rated R     1966

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has brought his whole crew (Baroness Von Porkchop, Jenkins The Pigman, JD The Meatman and Viola Poison) to the New Burlington Chili Cook-Off as he has entered his famous Bigfoot Chili, but the compotation is heavy as rival Count Van Lambchop and his wife The Countess has also entered their chili in the contest. Viola and Jenkins try to help rig the voting by messing with others chili as Baron and the Count continue their life long feud. With a panel of guest judges that include musicians and comic book artists it’s a chili showdown for who takes first place. This episode also has a cameo from Bean!

Movie: An undertaker and his two friends, who are restaurant owners, drum up business by going out on the town and killing people; the restaurant owners use parts of the bodies for their menu, and the undertaker gets paid by the families to bury the remainder. Their racket goes awry when 2 detectives suspect that something isn’t quite kosher.

Now that we have taken a look at the first two seasons (season three and on will be for another future update) lets take a look at the special episodes that when along with these first two seasons.

Son Of Hercules Power Hours: Samson
Starring – Brad Harris & Mara Berni     Not Rated       1961

Host: The Son Of Hercules hosts his own show that was a failed TV Polit that he was trying to get TBS to air in the 1980’s. This special has Son Of Hercules giving work out tips, arm wrestling an alien as well as showing his love for heavy metal music. A silly fun time with the Mighty Son of Hercules!

Movie: While traveling through the kingdom of Sulom, Samson is arrested and finds that the queen no longer reigns and that a power-mad warlord and his army of mercenaries now controls the kingdom. Samson teams up with some of his one-time adversaries to battle the usurper and restore the rightful queen to power.

BVP Halloween Special 1: The Sadness
Starring – Jason Young & Garrison Kane     Not Rated       2006

Host: Baron Von Porkchop celebrates Halloween by going to the site of The Sadness Collage Murders, and once there he starts coming across bodies and thinks that the students are adding the spooky holiday festivities, but the Baron soon realizes that The Sadness has returned to the scene of the crime and that Baron might just be his next victim.

Movie: A young collage student witnesses the murder of her next door neighbor and makes the mistake of talking about it on her friends radio show, and now the killer knows as The Sadness has shown up to the collage and wants to silence her and her friends forever as he never leaves a witness behind.

BVP Charity Special: Abraham Lincoln
Starring – Walter Huston & Ian Keith   Not Rated       1930

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Count Van Lambchop are having an argument about the location of Lambchop’s new poultry farm when the zombie of Abbe Lincoln and his subjects come back from the grave and are hungry for brains and both Barons and Counts look good to them, so now the two foes must survive together in order to escape the zombie version of America’s 16^th President. Done for the Gem City Gentlemen Of The Gilded Beard charity event.

Movie: Brief vignettes about Lincoln’s early life include his birth, early jobs, (unsubstantiated) affair with Ann Rutledge, courtship of Mary Todd, and the Lincoln-Douglas debates; his presidency and the Civil War are followed in somewhat more detail, though without actual battle scenes; film concludes with the assassination.

BVP Halloween Special 2: Werewolf Of Ohio
Starring – Josh Weinberg & Matt Hoffman     Not Rated       2001

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and his friend Melvin are going trick or treating and Baron is not following the safety rules and is making all kinds of mistakes, but they soon meet an old man who tells them the story of The Headless Horseman, and little does Baron know that The Headless Horseman is now in New Burlington and has his site on making this Halloween very fighting for our Horror Host.

Movie: Josh is a young man who’s family has been killed by a werewolf and has spent his life trying to track and kill the beast, now with a trusty Cameraman and the world famous Wolf Hunter he tracks down this killer beast for one final showdown.

BVP HorrorHound 2012 Special: Corpse Vanishes
Starring – Bela Lugosi & Luana Walters     Not Rated       1942

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is a guest at the HorrorHound 2012 convention and has decided to leave Viola Posion and Susie The DJ in charge of his table as he goes on a quest to find and win the heart of Horror Hostess Marlena Midnite of Midnite Mausileum. And while on his quest he stops along the way to talk to his fellow Horror Hosts as well as celeberties in attendance including Gunner Hansen and Doug Bradley. And when Baron finds her will he win her over or chicken out.

Movie: Dr. Lorenz, a mad scientist, wants to keep his elderly wife young. He does this by kidnapping young females and extracting fluid from them. He then injects this fluid into his wife.

BVP Arcade Special: Beast of Yucca Flats
Starring – Tor Johnson & Conrad Brooks     Not Rated       1961

Host: Baron Von Porkchop heads to the store Game Swap as they have just gotten in a new Pac Man Arcade Machine for play and he is annoyed that he has to wait in line as all he wants to do is play a game of Pac Man and even has brought his tip book as well as Jenkins The Pigman along for the experience. But will Baron be able to play a game before the store closes as the line is long and his anger is rising.

Movie: A defecting Soviet scientist is hit by a nuclear explosion near Yucca Flats and roams around as a beast.

BVP Halloween Special 3: Indie Short Films
Starring – Stephen Alexander & Zach Prater     Not Rated       1990’s-2000’s

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Melvin are dared to stay the night in the haunted graveyard of Dr. Freak by JD The Meatman and with snack food in hand and shaky nerves the two hang out and tell each other ghost stories that are really short films from Indie Horror Film directors. But when Horror Host Dr. Freak shows up will be mad about his trespassing guests or will he join in on the spooky tales of terror this Halloween night.

Movie: Indie Films show are “El Toro 2”, “Hellraiser: Warehouse”, “Mummy vs. The Stalker”, “The Return Of Freddy”, “Bark At The Moon: Malice”, “Bark At The Moon: Scars”, “Nightmare” and “High Hopes”.

BVP Black Friday Special 1: Farmer Joe
Starring – Mike Ritchie & Henrique Couto     Not Rated       2001

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has made a half man and half chicken creature that was suppose to be for Thanksgiving but had pitty on the creature and let him live, but now the Chicken creature is a menace and is always on his cell phone and is just rude to everyone he comes across! Baron goes to get advice from the BK and learns that he must kill his creation with an ax, but can he do it?

Movie: Danny is a young kid who is being bullied and on a dare goes to a haunted farm and summons the spirit of the crazed Farmer Joe who is out for revenge on the man who sold him bad seeds and ruined his harvest many years ago, but he also has Danny and his bullies on his radar of death, can Danny’s Dad save his sons life and soul, or is all hope lost now that Farmer Joe has returned.

BVP Halloween Special 4: White Zombie
Starring – Bela Lugosi & Madge Bellamy     Not Rated       1932

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Melvin this Halloween decided to rent a small cabin in the country to get away from all of the craziness that they have been through the past three years, but unlucky for them the Fulci Zombie an ax swinging undead serial killer is around and wants to make them both dead! But will Baron and Melvin figure out a way to stop this murdering rampage or will they just be more victims on his ever-growing list.

Movie: A young man turns to a witch doctor to lure the woman he loves away from her fiancé, but instead turns her into a zombie slave.

BVP Black Friday Special 2: Razor
Starring – Jason Gilmore & Josh Weinberg     Not Rated       2002

Host: Chicken Man is back and is running all around New Burlington causing issues for all the locals and making them all very angry, and they want to know who is the man behind this menace and many point the finger at Count Van Lambchop and Baron now must stop his creation before the town discovers the truth that this cell phone texting annoying chicken is his doing.

Movie: A young man is plagued with memories of a past he seems to have lived and a father who was pure evil, now Mike must unravel a mystery that all leads to a blood drinking killer that has been around for centuries and try and figure out how his life and past are tied to this psycho.

Baron Von Porkchop is a Horror Host that has brought Dayton, Ohio and beyond viewers laughs, scares and cheesy movies for over 10 years now and the cast of characters that make up New Burlington have all did their part to make this show special. And from the bottom of my heart I want to think every cast member and every fan that has made Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre must see TV and apart of your life, as well as make the dreams of this blogger come true as I have always wanted to create my own show and I cannot think of a better person to create this show with then my cousin Stephen. And like I have said this will not be the only Horror Host Icon update about Baron Von Porkchop so you fans, friends and readers will have more to look forward to in the future. But now lets talk about our next update that will be our Halloween update and will take us away from the world of Horror Hosts and into the world of SOV Horror as we look at a 1990’s gem called “Hatchet”! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch an indie film or two and as always support your local Horror Host. See you next update for some VHS Horror Fun.

The Conspiracy Of Sexy Cyber Vampires From College

Welcome back to another update here at Rotten Ink.  It’s crazy to think that 2016 is already here, and this is shaping up to be one heck of a year for horror films as well as super hero flicks as this year we get a new Conjuring, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Phantasm as well as a new Captain America, X-Men and Superman! For this update I decided to take a look at a comic based on a film and maybe share some more stories of working on one of my own micro budget flicks! The comic we will be covering is the last of the Draculina photo comics based on a film called The Vampire Conspiracy, and the film of mine we will take a look at is The Sadness.  So get your mind ready for the world of low budget films and enjoy this update.

In 2005 I was itching to make a movie.  At the now defunct  Precinct 13 Video in Kettering, I was talking to my friend and shop owner Jason about an idea I had about a supernatural style killer who targeted women and video taped the aftermaths of his crimes. Jason liked the idea, and I went to the normal Independent B Movie alumni Dave Wean and Josh Weinberg and told them the idea as well, and got the same feedback! The idea stewed around in my brain for a few months, and I decided that the killer I created for “Long Dead Winter,” a film never finished by Mike Ritchie, would be used as the killer.  His name was The Sadness. I kept the idea from the unfinished film of The Sadness hearing his father’s voice in his head driving him to kill no matter what.  The Sadness went from a serial killer to a cold blooded Michael Myer style slasher in a blink of an eye. At the time I had just gotten out of a long relationship with a young woman named Misty, who viewers of our films know for her parts in Razor and Farmer Joe, and had just met a young woman who I fell head over heels for named Lindsey who was a sweet and caring person.  This was to be a short lived thing as all things in life change and she stopped calling and we stopped hanging out with one another…but with this came the motivation to complete my script and make The Sadness come alive on the TV Screen. I spent months with my notebook and wrote scene after scene. I added a character named Jason played by comic artist Jason Young who was as confused as me about a woman he cared for.  I added a radio DJ character as we had access and permission to film inside Wright State University to use their media area.  Garrison Kane came back to play The Sadness just as he did for the footage for Long Dead Winter. I then cast the rest of the spots with great actors and friends like Josh Weinberg, Mindy Becker, Andrea Seay to name a few, and production was soon on it’s way. The script was mostly a dark mood with lots of effects kills and lots of drama elements between characters. The plot has a woman witnessing the murder of her neighbor and decides to talk about it on her collage radio show.  Big mistake as this draws the killer to the college as he is silent, deadly and never leaves a witness alive! I should also say that The Sadness is a cold blooded killer who does not talk, does not feel pain, does not have remorse and wears a red and black mask, has long black hair and always has a black suit on. The dumbest mistake we made with the character was trying to use and change up a WWF Kane mask as his face plate.  If I could go back, I would change it 100% to just a solid red mask like all the character’s promo art. I should also note at the start of filming I had just met and started dating Jennifer.

We decided to shoot all the college footage first as it was the most demanding of the sets as students were still in the building even as we filmed for many days starting at midnight! The area we picked next to the radio booth was perfect for our location as lots of scenes took place in the radio room as well as the waiting room.  On the first day of shooting things were going pretty well for the most part. Jason, Sam and Mindy were hitting their marks but things went south pretty quick as I would soon find out the Mindy had snuck alcohol in and was getting more and more drunk as the filming went on, and by 5am she went missing in action! I was annoyed but realized that she did not mean to get that out of control.  So I filled the rest of the first night with shots of The Sadness wondering around the college. The second day of filming was way more relaxed with everyone showing up and having fun, I even allowed for some ad-libbed lines that were comical to bring the mood up for the DJ characters to show they were just fun loving students. But we did have an accident that night as Garrison as the Sadness could not see out of his mask and wig and really stabbed Jason in the back! After checking the wound and seeing that it was not that deep, Jason was a sport and continued the shoot. After all the DJ stuff with The Sadness as well as the final scenes of the film were shot, I finished up all the inside college shots of The Sadness chasing Jason as well as him stalking the hallways. As I got this footage shot, Jason Wilson from Precinct 13 Video was uploading it and started to do the first edit of the film. What followed next was some of the outside shots of The Sadness killing random people, getting the voice over of his father played by a co-worker of mine named James as well him preparing for his kills and other small fill in shots. By this time Jason Wilson informed me that the film needed another kill so I had to add in a couple of new college kid characters and re-film at the school of them being introduced and the female one being killed off, for these shots I had to have Josh Weinberg fill in for The Sadness as Garrison was swamped with his day job. Jason added these scenes into the film and made the pacing a little better for a drama slasher film the extra kill added some more horror to a film that was quickly becoming a drama about lost love. In a odd twist I was able to talk Lindsey into playing the part that was based on her and she did a fantastic job of what lines she was give, it was nice to see her and for her to understand that I had to make the film and way I needed to as I was a person who was amped up and need to get the hurt, anger and ideas out of my brain and into this movie. Josh Weinberg stepped up and became my assistant director and even filmed some shots as I was also at this time hired to play a big part in a film directed by my film mentor Andy Copp called Fun In The Old Town Tonight. The final day of filming was the films opening kill and I was so hyped when my close friend Andrea Seay took the role of the first victim and we spent the whole night filming the scene that I not only had to direct but also do the special effects for, this being the end of the movie that was a personal one made my emotions run high as I was one happy film maker to get this off his chest on questions of why people drift apart, and like a bonehead I made a terrible mistake that coasts me my best friend and someone who I still care about to this day as one of my actions made Andrea and my friendship come to an end. Looking back all this time away from this film and production while it was a great experience to be able to get heartbreak off my chest and that came via Misty who I had to break up with for both of our sanity and Lindsey who just was not meant to be, got to work on special effects and watch a killer from my own mind come alive, have friends come together to make something personal of mine alive, the worst part of this production was loosing Andrea as a friend as she was always their for me as I was always around for her. Even if I have not spoken to her sense 2006 I still think very highly of her and hope that some day the wounds can be healed.

As Jason Wilson finished editing, I obtained music for the film and was able to get tracks from the likes of Centerfold, Winter of Discontent, Patrick Neeley, Society’s Whore, David Wean and Ed vs. Radio, and with their music, we added a whole new level of entertainment to the film. The film premiered at Precinct 13 Video in 2006 and showed at midnight.  I was happy to see that the place was packed and many people were hyped to watch the film. It was super cool to hear people clap when my name popped up as director and even cooler to hear them clap and cheer when the film ended. Many people who attended came up to me and loved the idea of a drama slasher film and got the nature of the film.  Others came up to me and didn’t like that the film was more dark and only had some comedy to it as they wanted more Werewolf of Ohio type films from me….it was very split and this was really amazing to hear the two sides out. For me the film was made to let out stress and was packed with drama, comedy and horror with a touch of cheese and was meant to just entertain and allow me to make a killer like Michael Myers of Halloween who is my favorite slasher icons and I did what I set out to do! The film came out on DVD by Bloodline Video for a short time, would play on local TV, and screen at conventions as well as come out via Warlock Home Video a few years back. The film is pretty much out of print nowadays, and while it may be gone, it’s not forgotten as I have had people make comments to me about the film in the past year as well as The Sadness himself will have a cameo in the comic series We Kill The Dead alongside the likes of other independent horror characters. In 2008, I started to work on The Sadness II that would have followed up right after the events of the first film.  We filmed a first kill scene, and quickly it was clear that the rage was missing from the script and it was nothing more than a slasher film that would have been packed with way more gore and boobs and no heart and plot.  So as soon as I started filming, I quickly pulled the plug on the film. Now in 2016 I have the bug again and really want to make a reboot to The Sadness and bring him to modern times and explore his back story, his anger and his legacy.  So who knows, maybe soon I will film this and share the experience with you readers. Out of all the old no/low budget films I have shot, I think I am the most proud of The Sadness as it truly did capture what I was trying to pull off, and while it is flawed, I still find it to be one of the best things I did for Independent B Movie and Bloodline Video. Below is the cover for the film’s first DVD release.  Yeah, it was cheesy and was made by Patrick Neeley.

On January 1^st 2016 my cousin Stephen had a get together at his house to play a POG tournament! That’s right POGS the game that I had not played sense I was in the 9^th grade mostly against my friend Jade during breaks in-between classes and during lunch. For those who don’t remember this game you would stack 10 or more cardboard POGS on a mat or the ground and use a heaver metal or plastic round disk and slam it onto the pile hoping to turn them over and for each one you got a point, in the end the player with the most points wins. I remember that I use to collect POGS and that we would play for keeps, as the winner would win all the caps they turned over during the match. My go to Slammers where a Universal Monster Dracula one that was made of plastic and a thin metal one that had a big haired red skull face skeleton creature on the front with the message No Drugs on it. I owned many other slammers like Star Wars and other comic and cartoon characters as well as other generic ones but those two were my favorites. This POG rebirth sparked from a small POG Tournament set we bought in at Game Swap and after seeing it Stephen bought it and we chatted and before we knew it a tournament was set for New Years Day! Looking at the invite that was sent out on Facebook and seeing the likes of friends like Thomas Smith, Josh Weinberg, Garrison Kane, Spencer Lucus, Jeremy Hoyt and Theresa Lopez to name a few all saying they were entering I new the competition was going to be tough and then hearing that comic artist Jason Young as well my own girlfriend Juliet were entering I knew I had to get the perfect Slammer Team in order so I hit Ebay and Amazon and dug deep to find what I considered the best of the best in Pog winning greatness, and now I will present them to you in all their glory, also cue Sirius by Alan Parsons Project! The first one I bought was “Jaws” a red light metal slammer featuring the icon of cinema of the same name, the second Slammer to join the team was a light plastic one featuring a large sharp toothed islander looking guy called “Da Cruncher”, next was a metal slammer that featured the MTV cartoon character “Butthead”, then I was lucky and found the red skull big hair skeleton just like I had when I first played so “No Drugs” became my third metal Slammer and my final main roster Slammer was a Universal Monster thicker plastic one that I call “Universal The Mummy” as that character was featured on the front and that those were the ones I selected as my starting line-up. I also for safe measure I brought a few fill in Slammers just in case any of my A-Team failed me in a match and they where a plastic Star Wars one that had “Han Solo” on it and for good measure I brought the worst slammer in the world called “Bad News” that featured a Grim Reaper on the front and was a medium plastic one that had no grace or style. Below is a picture of my Slammer Team and the back ups.

Juliet and I showed up ready for battle as my Slammer Team was about to be put to the test as the competition all seemed ready with their chosen Slammers. My first opponent was my good friend Jeremy Hoyt and my slammers of choice were Butthead and Bad News and with a semi quick match I won and moved on in the tournament thanks mostly to Butthead who was a slamming beats! The Second round I faced Stephen Basile a really nice guy whom I have meet through my cousin Stephen with the same slammer combo I started out strong but by the end of the battle Basile smoked me and gave me my first loss. But with this loss I was not out of the game as I dropped to the lower bracket and would have to earn my way back into the race for the trophy and the $10.00 prize, my third match was against Justin Barlow and this was one epic pog match as we ended up at a tie and had to go into sudden death the first of the night, just barely I was able to pull off the win thanks to slammers Butthead and Jaws! Moving back up my opponent was Charles “Bubba” Walters who is my uncle and Stephen’s dad and I must say I really stunk in this match and Charles made quick work of me as Butthead and Jaws really failed to deliver and with this loss I was out of the running to win. Juliet however beat her first round opponent Jennifer Barlow and then forfeited her spot as she had to bartend at her second job….yeah she left the game. But this was a blast and I am hoping that Stephen decides to do this again next year as I for one would enter again and try even harder to win a torphy and bring it back here to show off on Rotten Ink. For those wondering who won the rundown is this Josh Weinberg won 3^rd place, Charles “Bubba” Walters won 2^nd place and the 1^st place winner was Theresa Lopez! And the best part about it was that Theresa didn’t lose one match she cleaned house and is one amazing pog player! Oh I should also say that other players that have not been mentioned yet who entered and played were Thomas “Maurice” Smith, Garrison Kane, Ashley Knox, Nate Stevens, Dan Lopez and Spencer Lucas all great Pog warriors who made the event even more fun!

On February 3^rd 2016, a quest to visit a Haunted location was on the books and Josh Weinberg and I traveled to Camp Chase Cemetery, a Civil War graveyard that houses over two thousand confederate soldiers who were prisoners of the war, many of whom died from smallpox and lack of food. After the war, the camp became mostly a forgotten cemetery with cheap wood makers placed for tombstones with no care the site started to fall into shambles. It was not until 1895 that the poor souls buried at Camp Chase got the proper respect as retired Union Colonel William Knauss took it upon himself to lead an effort to restore the site and give the soldiers stone tombstone markers as well as held a memorial service for those who were buried there. By 1902 a new stone wall was built around the cemetery as well as a statue of a rebel solider above a boulder with the simple word American on the archway. The ghost that is said to haunt the area is Louisiana Rainsburgh Briggs aka Lady In Grey who is said to have been in love with a solider that died and is buried there named Benjamin F. Allen a private from the 50^th Tennessee Regiment, and it’s said you can see this woman in grey wonder around the tombstones and cry at the grave of Private Allen as well as leave flowers for her lost love. On this day the weather outside was sunny with a cool breeze blowing as it was in the upper 50’s when finding the cemetery the first thing I noticed is that it sat between a home and a closed for the season ice cream shop with a school being behind it. We parked at a nearby BP Gas Station and walked to the iron gates and entered and noticed that the area was way smaller than we expected, we walked the among the tombstones looking for Ben Allen’s tombstone and when finding it we first noticed that no flowers were at the grave, we then waited around hoping to see or hear the Lady In Grey and all we could hear was the mass amounts of traffic that was driving on the busy street the cemetery is on. As we left we both agreed that while the area was amazing for the history aspect as a haunted location it was lacking as the noise of the busy city killed the element of atmosphere and the Lady In Grey was nowhere in sight. Fun trip over all and great place to visit and see a history landmark, check out some pictures I took below including the grave of Ben F. Allen!

After the long yet fun holiday season and the tragic loss of my cousin Norman D., I decided that once more Juliet and I needed to have a Horror Movie Marathon to unwind from the stresses of work and the post holiday blues so Tuesday February 9^th 2016 became the date with horror film destiny. We decided to do a pre-show Monday night and we started off with the cheesy film “Guru, The Mad Monk” about a crazed monk and his vampire girlfriend and hunchback assistant who all run a church where the guilty go to die.  Throw in a love story between one of the jailers and a woman from his past, and you have this no budget cheesefest. “Teenage Slumer Party Massacre” is about some girls having a sleepover on Spring Break and being stalked by a goof in a old man mask wielding a power drill.  This one was a real stinker! To my surprise. Juliet enjoyed Guru, and we shared lots of laughs about its terrible yet fun nature. Teenage Slumber Party Massacre was a complete bore and could have been best summed up with cute girls talking about guys and hotdogs with very little slasher action, super lame. After the films, I read a couple of comics and went to bed with visions of horror films in my head.

At 7am Tuesday we started the event and as always loaded up on snack foods and prepared Breakfast Casarole and made slow cooked a roast in the crockpot for dinner. The film to kick it all off was a Universal film called “Night Monster” thats stars Bela Lugosi and Lionel Atwill and is about a mansion that holds murder and mystery when doctors end up dead while staying with a patient they left crippled. The 2^nd film of the day was the zero budget film called “Alien Beasts” that is about enter dimensional beings attacking Earth and a group of government agents that try and stop them. The 3^rd haunting flick was “Amityville Theater” about a young woman who’s parents have died and she inharites they old theater only to find out like everything in Amityville the ghosts and demons don’t rest! The under rated slasher “Alice Sweet Alice” was the 4^th film of the day and is about a murder of a young girl that is blamed on her sister, but did she really do it? Paul Naschy as the Mummy Amenhotep was in the 5^th film of the day called “The Mummy’s Revenge”, a Horror Movie Marathon is just not the same without a Naschy film But sadly we did not get to finish Mummy’s Revenge as two different copies of the film on DVD-R’s had such bad digital breakup that the film would freeze, DVD-R’s really suck and anytime we have had issues at a marathon it has been with films on this format, for shame that it had to be the Nachey film that had issues. The 6^th film of the day “Born Of Earth” is about creatures that live in the ground and steal people and one mans fight for the truth about his missing children. Movie # 7 was the Full Moon Entertainment flick “The Dead Want Women” thats about 1920’s silent actors who were murdered by a fellow actor return to to life during present day to find sexy ladies. “The Reeker” was the 8^th film of the marathon and is a monster slasher film about a group of friends out of gas in the desert and a foul smelling ghoul with death on it’s mind is stalking them one by one. The 9^th film is a guilty pleasure film for me called “Rocktober Blood” about a 80’s Hairband Singer who slashes his friends from beyond the grave or is he? Number 10 keeps the slasher theme as its “Cinco De Mayo” about a killer in a Mexican skull mask killing collage kids who don’t want to learn about heritage. Another slasher film called “The Mutilation Man” was the 11^th movie and was about a killer getting revenge on some people that got away with a crime from the past, also this is not to be confused with with Andy Copp’s film of the same name. The 12^th and final film of the night was “Daughter of Dr. Jekyll” that follows the Daughter of Henry Jekyll who is battling her families curse that is mixed with the werewolf folklore and makes you wonder is the curse real or is someone trying to drive her mad!

Another great Horror Movie Marathon in the history books and it was the pefect way to combat a day that was filled with snow and cold winds! As always, after the films Juliet and I sat and chatted about the films of the day and picked our worst and top 3 best of the day.  This was a pretty tough one as I enjoyed many of the films we watched. For me the turkey of the bunch was The Mutilation Man as I found it to be boring and kind of bland in terms of the reveal of the killer’s identity.  The gore worked pretty well, and the acting was okay’ for this films budget level. Juliet’s Golden Turkey of the day went to Alien Beasts as she felt it made no sense and was too scattered to be entertaining. My top three list goes like this: # 1 hands down is Alice Sweet Alice, a film I grew up watching on TBS and find to be a great slasher with twists and turns and some great creepy moments. # 2 goes to Rocktober Blood, a film I have been a fan of since I was a teenager.  The music rocks, the story is silly, and the killer Billy Eye is so cheesy they should name a shredded cheese after him! And # 3 has to go to Daughter of Dr. Jeykll, a great classic black and white horror film that captures the mood and feeling of the book the film’s characters spawned from. Plus a femele version of Mr. Hyde who is represented as a werewolf is some great early horror film stuff even if they were just nightmares. But I also really enjoyed The Reeker, Night Monster and The Mummy’s Revenge that would have taken the # 3 spot it we were able to finish it. Juliet’s Top 3 went like this: # 1 Alice Sweet Alice, # 2 Cinco De Mayo and her # 3 was Rocktober Blood with The Reeker coming very close to making her list. Once more this was a great way to unwind, and I am looking forward to the next big one I will be holding in April, and of course when it’s over I will cover it here on Rotten Ink.

One film that I would love to see be turned into a comic book that’s also about sorority girls is Evil Toons.  It was released in 1992, directed by Fred Olen Ray and stars David Carradine, Dick Miller and a ton of beautiful woman like Michelle Bauer, Monique Gabrielle, Susanne Ager and my favorite of the bunch Madison Stone. I first saw this film when my brother and I rented it on VHS from K&L Video in Kettering, and from the start, I found myself loving this film and went and found it on VHS to buy. It’s about a demon who is accidentally unleashed from a spell book by four sorority girls who have been hired to clean a old big house before the new owners move in. The demon, who is a cartoon, attacks and kills the girls and anyone else silly enough to get in his way. This is a perfect source for a mini-series of comics that has the book of spells being delivered once more to a wrong address, this time a sorority house filled with all types of college babes.  On Halloween night, they all have a mass sleepover where they watch horror films, eat junk food and by mistake read a spell that sets the demon free, and it runs loose in the dorm killing and possessing as many young woman as he can! The lead in the series would be a sweet woman who grew up in a small town and was taught not to mess with evil and her knowledge is what keeps the few who live alive! The comic would be part horror and part comedy and have enough blood and nudity to please fans of the film. And if they really wanted to spice things up you could mix Evil Toons with Ghoulies and have mayhem at the college as both set of demons try to out do each other in the kill department. If this comic was to get made I would like to see Fred Olen Ray’s own company Retromedia release a line of comics based on his movies, and if one of my friends were to tackle this project I would say Bruce O’Hughes or Damien Brunk as both would understand the cheesy sleazy nature of the comic. Maybe Ray is reading this update (doubtful) and will like the idea and make a comic based on this film as well as his other work come alive…

So while I have the chance, I should also talk about Madison Stone from Evil Toons as I won’t get the chance to for any other update, and with the lack of info about actresses from The Vampire Conspiracy, this seems like the best time. Madison Stone was born on January 12^th 1965 in Miami, Florida and started her acting career in adult films where she ended up starring in over 100 titles with such classic names as Jail Babes, The Anus Family and Voodoo Vixens. Her adult film career was so big, she is a member of the AVN Hall of Fame, and in 1993 she was voted XRCO Fan Favorite! Madison went on to be in “mainstream” movies like Evil Toons in 1992 and Daylight in 1996 alongside Sylvester Stallone! Madison continued to appear in adult films until 2004 when she retired. She is known for her raven dark hair and now for her tattoos and piercings, even having one named after her The Madison Piercing that’s at the front of her neck! She is now a tattoo artist and owns her own shop in California called “Madison Tattoo Shoppe” and sings in bands like Kiss The Monkey and Four Ugly Women. Even now at the age of 51, she is as stunning as the first time I saw her in Evil Toons! If I ever were to make another independent horror film and had a good budget and she was willing to come out of retirement, I would for sure cast her as well as it would be cool to have her on a episode of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre. Check out some classic pictures of her below.

The Vampire Conspiracy is directed by Geoffrey de Valois and was released in 1995 to the direct to VHS market as filler for ma & pa video rental stores around the good old USA. The film starred such talents as Heather Lemire, Liddy Roley, Barbara Savage and Jasmine Jean and is clearly a softcore film sprinkled with horror elements as the plot is about cyber vampires selecting a collage sorority to be their breeding slaves…this film reeks of pure sleazy cheese and to be honest while I have seen the cover box on video store shelves and on the pages of Alternative Cinema Magazine, I never took a chance at renting or buying it as it looks like it’s terrible. That’s the thing that younger people who didn’t have the joys of walking around a good well stocked video store will never have, the memories of walking around and looking at all the cover boxes and wondering what film awaited you on the VHS tape or DVD disc. Reading this comic will be the first time I have had any contact with this film so I am pretty hyped to see how it stacks up against the likes of Lust For Frankenstein, Tender Flesh and Mari-Cookie in quality and enjoyment. Before I even open this book, I want to make a few predictions on what this photo comic will showcase and that’s lots of bare female breasts and terrible lines of seduction. Below is the VHS Cover as well as the only still from the flick I could unearth on Google. Another thing I could not find much on was the actresses, so sadly no showcase on any of them.

So we covered The Sadness, Evil Toons, a recent Horror Movie Marathon, a POG Tournament and took a look at the film for The Vampire Conspiracy so now I think it’s time we let the cyber vampires feast! The clouds have uncovered the moon and the dust has settled, as I am proud to say Rotten Ink is at the final issue of the Draculina Photo comic series as I have finally gotten my hands on The Vampire Conspiracy thanks to Ebay! Before I dive into this photo comic I should remind you that I am grading this issue on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comic stays to the source material, its entertainment value and its art and story. So if you’re ready to battle some large chested cyber vampires, we should jump right into this review with garlic and some holy motor oil!

The Vampire Conspiracy # 1  *1/2
Released in 1998    Cover Price $4.95    Draculina    #2 of 4

Lisa is a strange woman who wants to join The Beta Sorority and is at the beach with the girls who all dislike her because they find her odd. But things are cut short when a vampire woman named Jana attacks and kidnaps some of the sorority girls to take to the Vampire HQ so that they can be breed with vampire DNA and the mindless offspring can be used as slaves. The lead vampire also runs a adult video company and makes vampire female centerfold videos, as Jana tortures the prisoners. As Lisa is dealing with her personal issues, the video that’s sent out is a way for the vampires to turn some viewers into vampires who have a trait in their blood, and shocker, Lisa turns out to be just that person.  After killing the coeds that teased her, she heads to Vampire HQ and decides that she wants to be the Queen of the Sorority and saves her fellow students and kills the Vampire King with a cross! In the end she is still a vampire as is her friends, and they decide to open a new all female vampire sorority.

Yep, this is what I thought it would be: page after page of naked boobs and a story that is as weak as ice melting in the hot summer sun. So the “plot” of this stinker is vampires want to use young woman as breeders for hybrids that will be used as slaves, and they are using all types of ways to turn people into vampires including a VHS tape that has the power to make people turn.  It’s up to the oddball girl to chose between saving her fellow coeds or joining the King of the Vampires. The main character is Lisa, a pretty woman who wants to be voted queen of her sorority and feels like she never fits in.  She is turned into a vampire by the video and kills those who tormented her and even takes out the Vampire Queen! Is Lisa a good person…no not at all as she kills her fellow coeds as well as her shrink in cold blood. The Vampire King who is the main bad guy is pretty lame and mostly barks orders, makes love to his assistant and gets his ass kicked really easy in a fight with Lisa. Lana is a sexy vampire in leather who gets joy in torturing her prisoners, but while she is badass in beating up humans, she as well goes down like a chump. The rest of the characters are all disposable and add nothing but pairs of boobs to the story. While the woman are nice to look at, the photos put together loosely make a story and for the most part this is a very forgettable read. After this photo comic I don’t think I would ever really track down the film to watch as I didn’t enjoy what I saw and read here. Not much more to say; vampires and boobs are cool, but that only takes a photo comic so far.

So that’s the end of the Draculina Photo Comics, and I must say it ended the way I thought it would and that’s on a low note! While photo comics are a good idea and Draculina was onto something that could have been an amazing idea, I think they chose the wrong films to do this with as the films they gave this treatment already had weak stories and became even weaker when squeezed into a comic. But let’s wash the taste of this vampire comic out of our mouths as our next update will take a look at the Queen of Horror Hosts, the one and only Vampira! So until then read a comic or three and enjoy being around your loved ones.

Horror Host Icon: Dr. Creep

Saturday January 1^st 1972 might have been New Years Day, but in the Dayton, Ohio area that night belonged to a horror host with vampire fangs (that were dropped from the character pretty quickly thereafter) and white grease paint on his face.  That host was Dr. Creep, and his show Shock Theatre was taking over late Saturday nights on Channel 22. Kids and adults at the time could not get enough of Dr. Creep’s antics and silly skits.  While at first he played the part scary, he quickly changed into a bumbling lovable ghoul. With his popularity high, Dr. Creep also became a co-host of the after school kids show Club House 22 that would feature all types of cartoons and live action kid shows as well as the hosts doing silly skits. In the 1980’s, the show had a name change, and Shock Theatre became Saturday Night Dead.  Sadly by March 1985, the show was cancelled for good on Channel 22. During his long run on TV, Dr. Creep was joined by all types of friends and co-hosts like Uncle Dow Thomas, a comedian good at playing off the wall characters and making up fun songs, and Obieyoyo, a pinheaded puppet and all around goofy guy.  His most popular sidekick was Duffy The Dog, a giant white shaggy dog who would go along with Creep’s ideas, and there were so many more memorable characters that shared the TV Screen with the good Dr.  At one point Spider-Man even appeared on an episode! At the peek of Dr. Creep’s popularity, he made many public appearances while driving around with his hearse and had a heart of gold, as he would do anything for charity and sick children. Creep even opened up his own charity called Project Christmas Smiles that would help get toys for less fortunate kids. Dr. Creep was the biggest celebrity in Dayton and was a household name.  When I was a youngster, I knew the name and even meet him with my parents before I started kindergarten.  While I don’t remember the meeting, my mom does and told me all about it. My first memory of Dr. Creep, as you readers know, came from a story and picture that my brother Bryan told/showed me after meeting him at a movie theater that his school took him to, and this also lead to the first episode I got to watch with my dad and brother. I know that my dad was a Shock Theatre viewer as was my mom from time to time, and this might explain why watching and making my own horror host show is in my blood. So welcome to Horror Host Icon: Dr. Creep, an update I am very proud to bring you!

Sadly when Shock Theatre started I was not even born yet (as I was born in 1979) so by the time I was old enough to watch it, I only got the tail end of the show before it went off the air. So what I would like to do is have a few of my friends who grew up watching Creep during this time share some of their memories of watching him during his first run. I think that by having them talk about watching him you’ll get a better idea of how much he impacted young lives here in Dayton. I wish my friend Andy Copp was alive to tell you about how Creep brought his family together, how he had homemade Dr. Creep pjs and how he almost drowned at a local pool when he was a kid running to meet Dr. Creep, all great stories and only his own words could do them justice. Up first to share his story of watching Shock Theatre on Channel 22 is a horror host from Dayton, Ohio, a man who I call my second dad and a person I call a close friend, the one and only A. GHASTLEE GHOUL!!

I was nine years old when the very first episode of Shock Theatre with Dr. Creep aired. It was January 1st, 1972, New Year’s Day evening. That is, the end if the day following New Years Eve. My parents had gone to bed, likely still shaking off hangovers from the night before, while I stayed up flipping through the three local channels we had at that time in search of something to watch. Little did I know what I was about to find, and how it would change my life. On the screen appeared a scary, fanged visage of horror that beckoned to a fledgling monster kid: Dr. Creep, and yes, in the beginning he was SCARY! Far from the loveable character he would eventually evolve into, the one who would later host Clubhouse 22 in the afternoons and have children clamoring after him like a Halloween version of Santa Clause, this Creeper wasn’t here to provide gentle comic relief from the movies he hosted, he was here to usher you into a dungeon of horrors and slam the door tight behind you. He had me at the first “Hoo-Ha-Haaah!”

In all honesty, I only saw about half of that first episode. The Doctor was hosting the classic Italian film Black Sabbath. I made it as far as the scene where the woman’s corpse came back in search of her stolen ring, took one look at the stretched rictus of vengeance on her face, switched off the TV, ran to my room and lay there in terror with the covers pulled tightly over my head. After that I would tune in every week.

As I said, I’d always been kind of a monster kid. I loved the old Universal films, Godzilla, and TV shows like Night Gallery and The Outer Limits. I also had it in my mind that it would be very cool to host your own TV show, but before I saw Shock Theater I really wanted to be Captain Kangaroo or Soupy Sales. That would quickly change once I saw Dr. Creep. I knew I wanted to be THAT guy!

Years would pass before I got to meet the man in person. I was co-chairing the haunted house in Huber Heights and we went on Shock Theater to promote the place and invite him out for a personal appearance. It was so surreal being on the set with him that first time, standing in the “dungeon” with my hero, looking past the cameras at the news set across the studio. He was so kind and funny. I don’t think I said two words. I was in awe and the time flew by like a whirlwind dream. When he made his appearance at the haunt I finally got over being star-struck enough to have real conversations with Barry, and he even gave us an idea for a scene for the house that we built and surprised him with the following year.

Skip ahead another few years, and making a long story a little shorter, I was hosting the first full season of my cable access program The Ghastlee Movie Show. There was an article in the Dayton Daily News about Barry and the sort of sad course his life had been taking since Shock Theater’s cancellation. The article mentioned that a Best of Shock Theater tape was being made available, and had a contact number that turned out to be Rick Martin’s. I called, we talked, and the next thing I knew there he was, Dr. Creep on the set of my silly little cable show! It was very nearly as surreal as that first time I was on his set. We joked and laughed together like old friends, the way Barry made everyone feel, and after that day we truly were close friends for years to come. I called him my “Illegitimate Step-Daddy.” He called me his son. In a way I was, and am, his offspring.

Great memories from Ghastlee Ghoul and a perfect way to show the impact Creep had on the lives of people in the Dayton area. Creep impacted Ghastlee so much that he went on to make his own show that in turn has sparked another generation to be creative. The next person on the list is a good friend who since 1999 acted as Dr. Creep’s manager and business partner, the one and only Rick Martin.

“My first time seeing Dr Creep was, I believe, when I was six or seven and my brother, sister and I were watching Clubhouse 22 in the afternoon. Here, amongst, Malcolme and his puppets, was a bumbling ghoul of a man doing magic tricks. Then I saw him on Shock Theatre. I believe he was showing Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman. The Frankenstein monster scared me to death but I loved the Wolf Man. Dr. Creep helped keep it together for me even when the monster was freaken’ me out. When I was 10 or or so, we had a Back Yard Carnival for MD and I got sick that day with the flu. Dr Creep and his assistant gave me autographed 8 1/2 x 11 pictures and wrote for me to get well soon. A few months later I was on Clubhouse 22 and had a chance to meet Dr Creep. After 1985,when his show was cancelled, I met him again working as a guard at the Living Room, a local strip club. We talked and became friends. He came to the first official playtest of a game I wrote with my friend Anthoney Hensely called “Robots and Rockets”. A few years after that, I started a company with Dr Creep aka Barry Hobart and we managed to get the rights back for Barry to once again don the cape of Dr. Creep. He was my friend until his passing. I miss him every day over these many years since he let slip his mortal coil. I love you Doctor Creep…”

In 1985, when Shock Theatre went off the air, Dr. Creep’s alter ego Barry Hobart stayed on at the station as a master controller for a few years until, with bad blood between them, he left the station for good. For years Hobart was not allowed to wear the Dr. Creep make-up or use the name because Channel 22 “owned” the copyright to his image and name or so they claimed. Barry took assorted jobs like being a bouncer at a strip club and even was a security guard for a while. For 14 long years, Dayton was without Shock Theatre, and A. Ghastlee Ghoul popped up and filled the void, carrying the torch with his show “A. Ghastlee Movie Show” and helped hold the interest of the fans who were looking for the next Dr. Creep to fill their late nights with horrors and laughs. This is a prime example of how much your hometown horror host can mean to your town.  His show was popular, and Dr. Creep was a major celebrity in the area.  I can remember him sharing memories of being booked for store appearances and how much money they would pay him and the lines of people that would come to see him. While the money was nice, Dr. Creep really did it because he loved his fans.  He loved the entertainment he brought to them and the late night chills he gave them. I would be so bold to say that if you lived in Dayton in the 1970’s and 80’s, you probably met Dr. Creep at some department store, school, movie theater or restaurant and you walked away from that meeting filled with joy and the feeling you had just made a new friend. While in this modern time when people are more glued to Netfix and iPhones and not watching local TV as much as they should, the horror host still holds special places in the hearts of those fans who watch them.  Just ask the likes of Baron Von Porkchop and A. Ghastlee Ghoul about the support and love from their fans. Because of this love and respect, the late 80’s and most of the 90’s were really rough on those who loved Dr. Creep and Shock Theatre due to the lack of his presence of on the local airwaves.

In 1998, thanks to Rick Martin and RMM Agency, fans got a fix of Dr. Creep and Shock Theatre as a “Best of” VHS tape was released, and Barry returned as Dr. Creep for public appearances. Word of the tape and Creep’s return spread quickly throughout the Dayton area, and rumors swirled about a possible return to TV.  The VHS tape was a great seller and would spark a volume 2, and t-shirts were also made to mark the return of Dr. Creep. Many local video rental and media stores booked Dr. Creep to make appearances and to push the sales of his tapes, and the fans came out in full force to meet their horror host idol and gobble up his Best of tapes. I can remember Dr. Creep telling me how he was taken aback at the number of people who during his first return back to the grease paint came out to see him and it touched his heart to see how many people remembered him. I was just out of high school when this happened, and I can remember how much of a buzz was going around about Creep’s return.  I will be honest, I did get a little nostalgic as that old picture of he and my brother popped into my head and the memories of talks about the man echoed in my brain. My brother was also feeling a little nostalgic as he bought the VHS of Volume 1 and the Dr. Creep Lives T-Shirt from local record shop Renaissance Music and wore the shirt proudly.  He would later give me the shirt, and I would also wear it around town with pride. Later, as VHS made way for DVD, both Volume 1 and 2 of the Best Of Shock Theatre made their way to a single DVD release that is still being sold to this day. A major thanks has to go out to Rick Martin for the return of Creep and the wonderful thing that was to happen next!

Andy Copp was a local film maker here in Dayton, Ohio who had made a film called Mutilation Man and also grew up watching Shock Theatre as a kid.  He pitched the idea of bringing Dr. Creep back to TV for a whole new generation to watch and enjoy to Rick Martin and so spawned the relaunch of Shock Theatre that was now dubbed Shock Theater or better known as New Shock Theater. At first I think the idea was to try and get the show back on Channel 22, but things did not work out so the show found its home on local public access stations MVCC and DATV. I can remember the hype about the first show, and I and my Brother watched it on MVCC while munching on a huge bowl of popcorn.  As the show started, we knew that Dr. Creep really was back! We would try and catch every new episode, and I even found myself watching the reruns and enjoying all the zany new fun. The show was different from the original show and had a storyline that would run throughout the episode at the series start.  Later it would become horror convention interviews and even sit down topic discussions on events. Also missing were classic side characters of the past as it had no Duffy The Dog or Uncle Dow, but there were some great new ones added like Reverand Zealot, a religious cult like leader who loved zany cult films, and Geraldo, a hunchback worm faced mongoloid who loved to have fun. Gone were the lip synch dancing numbers to old tunes but in came Cult Corner hosted by Zealot, a place to showcase films that many viewers may not have known about. One of the biggest changes to the show was the age of Dr. Creep, who, at the time of filming, was in the early stages of very poor health and was having a hell of a time just moving around.  With his limited movement also came a limit in what they were able to pull off for episodes. But even with all these changes, the show was great and showed that Dr. Creep did not miss a step in hosting and once more he was embraced by the viewers. The show was a staple of late night viewing for me, and this marked the true golden age of Dayton area public access as Dr. Creep and other horror hosts like A. Ghastlee Ghoul and Dr. Freak filled the airwaves and entertained. The New Shock Theater had a VHS run of select episodes that was sold at Dr. Creep’s public appearances at Foy’s Halloween Store and charity horror movie event Horrorama as well as conventions like Cinema Wasteland and Fright Vision. When DVDs took over for VHS, Rick and Andy released one DVD-R of the first episode of New Shock Theater. The impact of New Shock Theater is still felt to this day in the Dayton area, and thanks to this show, Dr. Creep was introduced to a whole new group of kids and monster movie fans.

Dr. Creep even ran for President twice and while he never won his Slumber Party Campaign was classic Horror Host stuff! He first ran in 1980 with his Vice President being Dow Thomas and they spent many episodes campaigning as well as talking to local Dayton residents about voting for Creep. In 2000 Dr. Creep once more put his top hat in the ring and tried once more to become President under the Slumber Party ticket with this time Vice President A. Ghastlee Ghoul! On many episodes of the New Shock Theater the two would have Q&A’s with members of the audience and had such ideas as ban all Disco Music and every American must watch a horror film a week. Both runs for the office Creep also made bumper stickers that had the slogan “Put A Creep In The White House”, and I can remember seeing many Creep and Ghastlee bumper stickers on cars that included one of my very own vehicles! I should also note that many people I knew in 2000 wrote in Dr. Creep’s name but sadly he did not even come close to winning, as George Bush stole the election…as in really stole it…like his brother helped rig it…like yeah. But if Creep would have really ran and won makes you wonder what our country would be like today don’t it?

In 2001 local Dayton band The Lawn Jockeys released a CD called “Amazing Sounds Of Shock Theatre: Starring Dr. Creep” that was a mix of jam band, horror & cult film clips and of course Dr. Creep! The CD was a pretty big deal when it was released and I can remember my brother going to Renaissance Music to pick up a copy, and us both listening to it and playing name that movie when clips would pop on.It was great to see a local band pay tribute to the king of late night Dayton Horror Hosting and many tracks on the CD are simply fantastic like Creep 303 and The U.F.O.’s Have Landed. From time to time we will also play some tracks off this CD on Alpha Rhythms on WYSO. If your a weird experamental jam band fan or are into Dr. Creep I would say make sure to check this CD out as it can still be bought on Amazon.

Around the time of New Shock Theater is when I got to know Dr. Creep and got to travel the convention roads with him as the no budget film company me and friends created called Independent B Movie was taking off and selling VHS copies of our movies. You see my brother had became close friends to Andy Copp and from that I got to become good friends with Andy and through him is how I got to become friends with Dr. Creep. I can remember the first convention we ever did was one called Fright Vision and Dr. Creep was nice enough to share part of his table with us and even tried to help sell our films like Werewolf Of Ohio and Suicide 2 as he would shout at people walking by. And that was just the start of our convention journeys as we attended several Cinema Wastelands together as well as other conventions like Scary Camp and Horrorhound Weekend. During this time I was also lucky enough to run camera on some episodes of New Shock Theater and helped set up interviews with celebrities, and was able to pick Creep’s brain about horror hosting and his career as one. Listening to his stories of on set and off set adventures are things I will cherish and always remember from his biker bar fun with a young woman to his chat with Vincent Price all fascinating and enjoyable. Cinema Wasteland use to be the go to convention for Horror Host fans as they had a section of tables that was called “Horror Host Ally” that had the likes of not only Dr. Creep but many others including Son Of Ghoul, The Bone Jangler and Baron Von Wolfstein and they all would sell copies of their shows, t-shirts and mingle with the fans. But being at this convention for years and watching him shine among his people was heart warming and welcoming for a creative person like me who would later go onto film and direct Baron Von Porkchop. While Wasteland no longer does a host gathering fans of this art can go to Horrorhound Weekend every March and find a large amount of Horror Hosts in attendance as well as the Horror Host Hall Of Fame Ceremony. Below is some pictures of Dr. Creep at Cinema Wasteland over the years.

Speaking of the Horror Host Hall Of Fame Dr. Creep was inducted into the first class in 2011 by A. Ghastlee Ghoul and Andy Copp, Rick Martin and myself accepted the award on behalf of Dr. Creep. That moment I was filled with pride for my friend as I seen all his hard work in hosting paying off and a room full of his peers who all respected what he did and loved him as a part of their family clapping in his honor. I just wish Creep was around to have seen his induction, you see Dr. Creep who’s real name was Barry Hobart passed away early in 2011 from complications from strokes at the age of 69. It was a sad day when I got the phone call from Rick who told me the terrible news, everyone at my work was sadden by the news and in his honor we played episodes of New Shock Theater for two days on the stores TVs. But while Creep was not with us on that day in body he was in spirit and his legacy will live on forever in the Horror Host Hall of Fame! Bellow is some pics of Creep and Reverend Zealot when they attended Horror Hound Weekends at two different times.

In 2014 I heard a very interesting rumor about Channel 22 wanting to relaunching Shock Theatre with a new host they would have called Professor Creep who would have had the classic Dr. Creep make-up but would have worn a graduation cap and gown as his outfit. The set was to be green screened and the show would have shown classic horror and science fiction films but would also have been used to promote upcoming events and products for sponsors of the station. I am not sure who they would have casted in the part of Professor Creep but one things for sure and thats Channel 22 must have gotten cold feet as the show never made it past the planning stages. It would have been interesting to see how classic Shock Theatre and Dr. Creep fans would have responded to this suddo “reboot” to the beloved show many of us Dayton folks grew up with, I for one would have welcomed the show as I would love to see another local made Horror Host on Dayton television and it would have been cool to see maybe a cross over with Baron Von Porkchop Dayton’s current Horror Host. Below is a mock up of what the character Professor Creep would have looked like if the show would have been made.

Before we get into the New Shock Theater episodes I really want to take a moment at talk about my friendship with Dr. Creep and the man behind the grease paint Barry Hobart. In my youth as you can see I had meet Dr. Creep and seen his picture when he meet my brother at a movie theater function for his school but I didn’t fully get to meet the man and become his friend till I meet Andy Copp and Rick Martin (thanks to my brother Bryan) who were doing The New Shock Theater for Public Access Television. I want to not get to mushy and talk about how much Barry/Creep meant to me cause if you really know me you know how much I cared for him so in this spot I just want to share some funny stories about my time hanging out and being around him. One of the first times I really got to be around Dr. Creep as he worked and showed why he was an icon of Horror Hosting in Dayton was when I helped on a LIVE episode of New Shock Theater that was airing on MVCC, I played a Mexican Wrestler who ran onto the set and took away Reverand Zealot for “stealing” Mexican Cinema as one of the films they showed that night was The Brainiac. Watching him live answer viewer calls and talk to guests like they were on a talk show was amazing and in between segments Creep would go out of his way to chat with me and all the other people on set, as everyone on set that day was his friend and he knew it as it was a cluster of cool people on set for that show the band The Lawn Jockeys, Horror Host A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Henrique Couto, Andy Copp, Josh Weinberg, Rick Martin, Bryan Brassfield as well as so many others. It was a magical day of TV show making and one I will not ever forget! Another great memory I have of my friendship with Dr. Creep is when he shouted at people to buy my old shot on video film Werewolf of Ohio 2 at Fright Vision as well as many Cinema Wastelands while we both were vending at those events, he use to tell me that it didn’t matter the budget of the films I was making as long as my heart was in the films I made the viewers would see that and be entertained, very wise words and something I always remembered as I made no budget films for Independent B Movie and Bloodline Video. Speaking of Cinema Wasteland I can also remember many of times Dr. Creep would want to go and shoot interviews for his convention specials and Andy Copp would be tied up working his Nightcrew Video table and would ask me to follow Creep around and film and set up the interviews I use to enjoy watching him chat with the likes of Sid Haig and Bill Hinzman, one of the best was watching him deal with adult film actress Marilyn Chambers who he was a big fan of…the icon of Horror Hostsing was so star struck around her it made me chuckle inside. I also was able to film some of his interviews at Dayton’s Scary Camp as well as some others at random conventions, I can remember sitting with him at his table as we talked about the past and his days on Channel 22 as well as funny stories of some of his public appearances, the one story he would tell me a million times was the time he got to meet and interview Vincent Price and how he wished I could find that lost footage of his show Shock Theatre that aired in the 80’s of this meeting. I use to love to sit with him during breaks between movies at Horrorama the charity event that he created with Andy Copp and Rick Martin that they allowed me to help out at and hearing him try and get fans to get him Hot Dogs and Mountain Dews both things he was not allowed to eat! Plus being at the event and hearing him boom out with a silly one liner during the film and the audience laughing always put a smile on my face. Some of my favorite times with Creep was when we would check out ladies together at conventions, yes I would check out women with Dr. Creep who would say lines like “Ohhhhh Would You Look At Her” among other creepy and silly things! Creep loved the ladies and I must say the ladies loved him as well as he had a charm to him that drew them in like humming birds to a flower. One thing that I have always regretted is not filming new episodes of Shock Theater with Dr. Creep in 2009 as we had many ideas planned and this would have given his fans as well as Creep himself new and scripted out adventures to air on DATV and beyond. I find myself like many of his friends thinking about Barry Hobart and his Dr. Creep character all the time as he was a one of a kind person who made everyone feel special and helped teach this strange monster/metal head/comic geek/gammer kid that it was ok to be who you are and to always not let others hold you back. I love ya Barry and this update is for you and to honor what you did for not just me but the millions of others your kindness touched.

Those are just some of the memories I have of my friendship with Dr. Creep and I am sure if you were lucky to be his friend or even ever truly meet the man you have some amazing and fun stories that you could share, and I hope you do so in the comments as I am sure others and myself would love to read them! So it’s at the point in the update were we will take a look at the episodes of Dr. Creep I own and given sadly at this point no known full original aired broadcasts of Shock Theatre or Saturday Night Dead have been unearthed we will take a look at all the episodes of New Shock Theater! The Host Write ups are done by me and the movie write ups are done by IMDB. So lets take a trip down memory lane and take a hosted trip with The Creepster!

New Shock Theater: Assignment Terror
Starring – Paul Naschy & Michael Rennie     Not Rated    1970

Host: Two brain dead grave robbers are sent to bring Dr. Creep back to life and by doing so they have also brought back SHOCK THEATER! Dr. Creep once more steps into Horror hosting with out even missing a beat and shows Paul Naschey’s classic Monster romp called Assignment Terror, and along this re-birth journey we are treated to Reverand Zealot’s “Cult Corner” were he looks at the Peter Jackson classic “Meet The Feebles”, Get a video postcard from Duffy The Dog and show a “Home Made Shock” that has a killer vacuum cleaner directed by a young Andy Copp all this and fake trailers and PSA’s show the true Icon of Dayton hosting is back! And yes he makes those Grave Robbers pay for waking him from his 14-year sleep.

Movie: Aliens from a dying world plot to conquer earth by praying on man’s superstitions. Bringing two dead scientists back to life, they use their knowledge to re-animate various earth monsters, including the werewolf Waldemar Daninsky, Frankenstein’s monster, the mummy Tao-Tet, and the vampire Count de Meirhoff.

New Shock Theater: Daughter of Horror
Starring – Adrienne Barrett & Ed McMahon    Not Rated    1955

Host: In this second episode Dr. Creep gets a strange package that seems to be crying from the inside! When he reads the note attached it’s from a lady he went on a romantic trip to the Bermuda Triangle with and this opens more questions to what is in that box? Along the way he talks to a drunk Ed McMahon, we see some great movie trailers and get another “Home Made Shock” film called “JUNGLEBORG: Man of Mystery” directed by Joe Mackanzie, we visit Reverand Zealot’s Cult Corner has the master of cult looking at the film “Cannibal Ferox”, and more important we do find out what’s in the box!

Movie: As the narrator invites us to explore the horrors of an insane mind, a young woman wakes from a nightmare in a cheap hotel room. We follow her through the skid-row night and encounters with an abusive husband; a wino; a pimp and the rich man he panders for; a flashback to her traumatic childhood; violence; pursuit through dark streets; dementia. Filmed in film-noir style throughout; only the narrator speaks.

New Shock Theater: The Killing Of Satan
Starring – Ramon Revilla & Elizabeth Oropesa    Not Rated    1983

Host: Dr. Creep has a visitor it’s a little boy who idolizes Satan and wants nothing more then to be Satan! But the MPA shows up and threatens to take The New Shock Theater off the air! All the while a magic voice is given wrong voiceovers about the events. The strange little Boy will not give up on being evil and wanting to be Satan so its up to Dr. Creep to cure the youth of his sinister ways…and does so but you must watch to see how. Also Reverand Zealot treats us to another “Cult Corner” this time it’s the shot on video horror film called “Original Sin” and we get trailers form other public access shows and horror and cult flicks.

Movie: A man who is chosen by his dead uncle to battle the forces of evil. He fights a being called “The Prince of Magic,” who shoots rays from his hands, makes heads spin around and hypnotizes people. He finally faces Satan himself and engages him in a battle of magic.

New Shock Theater: Mill Of The Stone Women
Starring – Pierre Brice & Scilia Gabel    Not Rated    1960

Host: A stranger breaks into Creep’s crypt and hides a cursed nose, the Nose just knocks over and over causing Creep and his female fan Guest wonder what is its cause, and worse now Creep has a nasty cold and so does his guest. Reverand Zealot joins in on the search and they find the cursed nose! Can Dr. Creep and Zealot defeat the nose? Who Placed this cursed nose in the crypt? And why is there a “Ghost” child walking around the crypt all those questions and more will be answered in this episode! And also Reverand Zealot’s “Cult Corner” this time showcases Dario Argento’s classic “Suspira”, we get more trailers and vintage commercials.

Movie: Hans arrives in a town near Amsterdam to write a story on the reclusive sculptor, Professor Val, who lives on an island in the old mill house the locals call the Mill of the Stone Women. Hans meets the professor’s beautiful and seductive daughter, and begins feeling passion for her despite his true love for Lisa Lotta. Slowly he becomes aware of the nefarious experiments being conducted by Val and his furtive assistant Dr. Boles, and local women continue to disappear.

New Shock Theater: Strange Behavior
Starring – Michael Murphy & Fiona Lewis    Rated R    1981

Host: In this episode Dr. Creep is worried about the youth of today with their rap music, and pop culture and remembers back to his time of youth! And when that Strange Satan kid is back, Creep along side is hunchback friend Geraldo decide to turn the strange Kid into a normal kid! And the Geraldo is hit by a car after playing in traffic! The “Cult Corner” returns with Reverand Zealot has the splatter masterpiece “Cat in the Brain” directed by Lucio Fulci as his selected film. But by turning this creepy kid into a normal kid does Creep release something worse on he world..like a young republican!!

Movie: A scientist is experimenting with teenagers and turning them into murderers.

New Shock Theater: Rat Man
Starring – David Warbeck & Janet Agren    Not Rated    1988

Host: This episode of “The New Shock Theater” is filled with bloopers and outtakes, due to the Good Dr. taken some time off for Easter. And we get a “Homemade Shock” called “No Fun” directed by Andy Valeri just for a little more fun.

Movie: A maniac butchers a fashion model on a Caribbean island and leaves the body to be eaten by rats. The model’s sister suspects something isn’t quite right with the police investigation and decides to go snooping on her own. With her friend, Fred, their investigation lead them to an unknown part of the island where they discover a monstrosity of a rat like man. The creature is killed by Fred, but the true horror of it’s nature is just beginning…

New Shock Theater: When Women Had Tails
Starring – Senta Berger & Frank Wolff     Rated R     1970

Host: This is a special episode were Dr. Creep sits down with director Andy Copp and producer Rick Martin to talk about the tragic killings at Columbine High School that took place April 20^th 1999. This episode is very serious one and really breaks down their thoughts on the massacre and the way the media handled it.

Movie: A bunch of 7 orphan cavemen grow up on a little island all by themselves. After a fire burns all vegetation they set out to find a new place to live. Here, one day they trap a strange animal, looking very similar to them, only softer and with longer hair. She (Filli) feels attracted to one of the brothers (Ulli) and convinces him, that a certain kind of playing with each other is far more satisfying than just eating her. He hides her and serves the other cavemen a goat. Soon Ulli and Filli are playing the Johnson-Game quite frequently. But the others find out about this and want to see what’s so great with “johnsonning”. After they all force Filli to show them the game too, she manages to flee with Ulli. Being pursued by the 6 men of Ulli’s clan, they meet the rest of Filli’s clan: A tribe of about 150 unsatisfied women, who just love to have new men around for playing.

New Shock Theater: Thing With Two Heads
Starring – Rosey Grier & Ray Milland    Rated PG    1972

Host: Dr. Creep is back and shares his vacation photos with the viewers and his special guest – a real two-headed transplant! Dr. Creep shares a book he’s been reading and everything comes to a head when the two-headed transplant announces it’s desire to marry itself and live in magical Yellow Springs! All this plus trailers and homemade commercials.

Movie: A rich but racist man is dying and hatches an elaborate scheme for transplanting his head onto another man’s body. His health deteriorates rapidly, and doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate: a black man from death row.

New Shock Theater: House Of Exorcism
Starring – Telly Savalas & Elke Sommer     Rated R     1975

Host: Dr. Creep waxes nostalgic for the days of the drive-in theater and shares his memories of the now closed drive-ins around Dayton, Ohio. He shares a Halloween drive-in story about a friend named Trapper John and the pranks they pulled. So come and re-live the great days of the drive-in with Dr. Creep and be treated to trailers and classic drive-in spots!

Movie: A total re-edit of Mario Bava’s gothic classic Lisa and the Devil (1973) for US release in 1975. Cheesy exorcism scenes were shot to try to capitalize on the success of The Exorcist (1973).

New Shock Theater: Touch Of Satan
Starring – Michael Berry & Emby Mellay     Rated PG     1971

Host: Dr. Creep has invited a group of psychotics from the local insane asylum and wants to know how Satan has touched their lives. He meets the spawn of Satan and his mother, a man who has turned into a monkey, a goofy man-child – all whose lives have been affected by the lord of darkness. Home-made Shock returns with the film “Requiem” directed by Andy Valeri.

Movie: On his way to California, Jodie decides on a whim to make a brief side trip to a farm, where he meets and falls in love with Melissa, the proverbial farmer’s daughter. Or so it seems. In between the overlong dramatic pauses, we learn that Melissa is in fact a 120-year-old witch, and her remarkably spry “great-grandmother,” Lucinda, is actually her sister, who has been pitchforking people to death in her spare time. When Lucinda murders a local policeman, things start to get real complicated for Jodie.

New Shock Theater: Last Man On Earth
Starring – Vincent Price & Emma Danieli     Not Rated     1964

Host: In this episode Dr. Creep and Geraldo The Hostess Monster have the crypt invaded by a group of monsters that include a mummy, a witch, a werewolf and a monkey man, all running away from normal people. This gives Creep the idea to open his crypt as a Monster Sanctuary and to keep the “Normals” away! Dr. Creep also speaks of his time interviewing Vincent Price on Channel 22, and we are treated to more trailers from classic horror films from years past.

Movie: When a plague devastated life on Earth, the population died or became a sort of zombie living in the dark. Dr. Robert Morgan is the unique healthy survivor on the planet, having a routine life for his own survival: he kills the night creatures along the day and maintains the safety of his house, to be protected along the night. He misses his beloved wife and daughter, consumed by the outbreak, and he fights against his loneliness to maintain mentally sane. When Dr. Morgan finds the contaminated Ruth Collins, he uses his blood to heal her and he becomes the last hope on Earth to help the other contaminated survivors. But the order of this new society is scary.

New Shock Theater: The Skull
Starring – Peter Cushing & Christopher Lee     Not Rated     1965

Host: Dr. Creep has a guest in the crypt and its The Jewish Stud and they are attacked by The Skull of Drexel! This leads to Dr. Creep sharing true ghost stories and odd going on’s in the state of Ohio, from a headless ghost in Cincinnati to Hamilton Ohio’s Lover Lane skull ghost! And just spends time having fun in his crypt. Cult Corner returns with Reverand Zealot and he speaks to us about Letterboxing compared to Full Frame movies.

Movie: A collector of esoterica, Dr. Maitland, buys an unusual skull from his ordinary source of artifacts. The skull is what remains of marquis De Sade. Much too soon he discovers how the skull affects him: by turning him into a frenzied killer.

New Shock Theater: Samson In The Wax Museum
Starring – El Santo & Norma Mora     Not Rated     1963

Host: In this episode Dr. Creep visits Cinema Wasteland 2001 in Strongsville Ohio and shows you the fun and good times that was had by all, he also interviews Son of Ghoul, Col. Klink and Cult film Director Andy Copp interviews Kevin Van Hentenryck of Basketcase fame.

Movie: El Santo, the masked Mexican wrestler, investigates a series of kidnappings. He discovers that the mysterious Doctor Caroll is using the victims as part of his experiments to develop an army of monsters. Naturally, El Santo is able to overcome them all – with wrestling!

New Shock Theater: The Headless Eyes
Starring – Bo Brundin & Kelley Swartz    Rated X    1971

Host: Dr. Creep is back after a battle with sickness and welcomes Reverand Zealot to the crypt and they discuss the film at hand “The Headless Eyes”. Then they talk about films that are so bad that they wish they could remove there own eyes to get out of watching! A tell jokes about what you don’t wanna hear the doctors say during a surgery as written by Shock Theater Icon Dow Thomas, and just some idol chatter among Creep and his guest. On Reverand Zealot’s Cult Corner he showcases the David Cronenberg film “eXistenZ” and along with this we get trailers for other cult films and Public Accuses Shows.

Movie: Poor artist gets eye gouged out while committing a robbery. When his eye heals, he goes on a killing spree and cuts out women’s eyes with a spoon.

New Shock Theater: Giant Spider Invasion
Starring – Alan Hale Jr. & Steve Brodie     Rated PG     1975

Host: Dr. Creep this time around is being attacked by a giant fly as he tries to host the show, so in order to put a stop to this annoying fly he calls 1470’s and gets a Exterminator that drops off an even bigger spider to capture the fly. Will Creep get ride of the fly or will his own fear of spiders get to him first? And what will happen when Reverand Zealot tries to come to Dr. Creep’s rescue.The Cult Corner with Reverend Zealot he shares an underground film called “Ice From The Sun” directed by Eric Stanze, and as always we are treated to trailers for films and public accuses shows.

Movie: A black hole hits North Wisconsin and opens a door to other dimensions. Giant 15 meter spiders emerge from it, who have an appetite for human flesh! Dr. Jenny Langer and Dr. Vance from the NASA try to save the world.

New Shock Theater: Goke Body Snatcher From Hell
Starring – Hideo Ko & Tomomi Sato     Rated PG     1968

Host: Put a Creep in the White House! This showcases Dr. Creep’s thoughts on the issues that drive the good old USA. He runs on the Slumber Party ticket with his running mate, A Ghastlee Ghoul. Their platform includes banning nothing (except disco), and requiring that all Americans watch at least one horror film a week. Will this cracker jack candidate team win the White House? Only time and your vote will tell. This episode also includes a variety of trailers.

Movie: The survivors of a plane crash in a remote area are attacked by blob-like alien creatures that turn their victims into blood-thirsty vampires.

New Shock Theater: I Eat Your Skin
Starring – William Joyce & Matt King    Rated PG   1971

Host: The quest to Put a Creep in the White House continues. Running mates Dr. Creep and A. Ghastlee Ghoul appear on a candidates forum hosted by Reverend Zealot. They’re joined by Andy Valeri of Big Beef records and discuss Dr. Creep’s recent collaboration with the Lawn Jockey’s. They take questions from concerned voters and discuss strategies for moral decency in America. Also included in this episode: trailers and the first appearance of the Hell-O Satan Dancer.

Movie: A cancer researcher on a remote Caribbean island discovers that by treating the natives with snake venom he can turn them into bug-eyed zombies. Uninterested in this information, the unfortunate man is forced by his evil employer to create an army of the creatures in order to conquer the world.

New Shock Theater: Macumba Love
Starring – Walter Reed & Ziva Rodann     Not Rated     1960

Host: Dr. Creep is once again at Cinema Wasteland 2001 and goes around the convention interviewing the stars such as Ken Kish owner of Cinema Wasteland, Chris Seaver, Teen Ape, Kurvs Girl, Bill Blair from Babylon 5 and Maniac Cop himself Robert Z’Dar! Also filled to the brim with great trailers for other bad cheesy films.

Movie: J. Peter Wells, an expose writer, arrives on an island off the coast of South America (no country identified), to complete a book on voodoo, ju-ju,macumba, mojo and other cult beliefs, which he believes is responsible for unsolved murders on this island. Wealthy land-owner Venis de Vias warns him against stirring up the natives, especially any efforts to lessen the prestige of the reigning VooDoo Queen Mama Rata-loi. The arrival of Wells’ daughter, Sara, and her husband, Warren, on a honeymoon trip, starts the pot to boiling and making the natives restless. Most restless of all is Mama Rata-loi, who asserts her powers and puts a spell on Venus de Viasa. The next thing honeymooner Warren knows is that he is trussed up and about to become the one chosen to die in a voodoo ceremony.

New Shock Theater: Devils Wedding Night
Starring – Sara Bay & Xiro Papas     Rated R     1973

Host: In this episode of “The New Shock Theater” Dr. Creep is in the studio with Dayton band The Lawn Jockyes as they record the album “The Amazing Sounds of Shock Theater” and shows you all the behind the scenes stuff that lead to one of Ohio’s most popular CD’s! We also get treated to come classic 1993 footage of Dr. Creep at the Neon Movies for the premiere of Peter Jacksons “Dead-Alive”, along for the fun is Independent film icon Jim Van Bebber and Geoff Burkman as zombies wondering the streets of Dayton! Also shown is some classic old trailers.

Movie: The 1800s: scholarly Karl Schiller believes he’s found the ring of the Nibelungen, which holds great power. It’s at Castle Dracula. His twin, Franz, a gambler, asks if vampires frighten Karl; Karl shows him an Egyptian amulet, which may protect him. Franz takes the amulet and sets out ahead of his brother, arriving at the castle first. There he finds a countess who invites him to dine. Later that night, Karl arrives. Coincidently, it’s the Night of the Virgin Moon, a night that falls every fifty years and draws five virgins from the surrounding village to the castle not be heard from again. Can Karl protect his brother, find the ring, and rescue any of the women?

New Shock Theater: Devil Doll
Starring – Bryant Haliday & Alan Gifford     Not Rated     1964

Host: Dr. Creep goes to “Renaissance Music” to promote the CD “Amazing Sounds of Shock Theater” and chats with the owner Geoff Burkman who played a zombie in “DAY OF THE DEAD” and has been a local legend of film and stage star for many years. The two chat it up over all types of subjects that include Frisbee Golf and even George A Romero! Also includes trailers and a music video for The Lawn Jockyes song “Creep 303”.

Movie: Vorelli is a ventriloquist & hypnotist, with an amazing dummy, Hugo. Vorelli meets and pursues a beautiful heiress (Marianne); he mesmerizes her, and induces a baffling coma. His buxom mistress (Magda) fears he’ll dump her for the younger woman, and threatens to expose him. Vorelli tricks Hugo into killing Magda while he’s safely elsewhere. Marianne’s boyfriend Mark investigates. He discovers another killing in Vorelli’s past, of a man called Hugo. The girl wakes from her coma, and announces she will marry the hypnotist. When the triumphant Vorelli tells Hugo his plans for Marianne and a new, female dummy, a final confrontation yields surprising results.

New Shock Theater: Attack Of The Beast Creatures
Starring – Robert Nolfi & Julia Rust     Not Rated     1985

Host: Dr. Creep with time invades the horror convention “Fright Vision” in 2002! Dr. Creep once more along with his camera man goes around and gets interviews with guests that include Hayden from Witching Hour Video also known as Horror Host “I, Zombi”, Actress Lilith Stabbs, Horror Host Dr. Shock and the guys of Brains on Film. Also we get trailers and some footage of The Lawn Jockyes playing while Belly Dancers dance taken from a classic “Live” New Shock Theater.

Movie: Survivors of a shipwreck wash up on an island, and run into small vicious creatures.

New Shock Theater: Ghastlee Wedding Special
Starring – A. Ghastlee Ghoul & Dr. Freak     Not Rated     2003

Host: At Cinema Wasteland October 4^th 2003 horror host A. Ghastlee Ghoul married Horror Hostess Suspira in the worlds first and only Horror Host Wedding! Dr. Creep (who’s also the best man) brings The New Shock Theater crew to the event and this you have “Ghastlee’s Wedding Special” so sit back and join in the fun and watch history unfold before your very eyes! Along the way Dr. Creep and film maker Andy Copp talk to people at the convention about the wedding and the event.

Movie: Clips from Cinema Wasteland 2003.

New Shock Theater: Scary Camp Special
Starring – Tommy Gunn & Conrad Brooks     Not Rated     2004

Host: May 28^th -30^th 2004 was Ghastlee’s Scary Camp, Dayton, Ohio’s first Horror film convention and Dr. Creep shot a very special edition of New Shock Theater! The show is hosted in the Crypt by Dr. Creep and the Reverand Zealot who show clips from the amazing event. Dr. Creep interviews A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Conrad Brooks (Plan 9 from Outer Space), Joe Estevez, Sid Haig, Make-Up artist Jeff Krodel and Ken Kish of Cinema Wasteland. Also shown is a full “Freakshow Deluxe” performance from Tommy Gunn, a look at the Evil Dead Museum and some weird and wild clips. 

Movie: Clips from Scary Camp 2004.

New Shock Theater: Eegah
Starring – Arch Hall Jr. & Richard Kiel     Unrated     1962

Host: Dr. Creep and Reverend Zealot have a relaxing time on the set and chat about the nights film as well as the actors who made it come alive.

Movie: While driving through the desert, a teenage girl is frightened by a seven-foot giant which appears in her path. After escaping, she returns to the site with her boyfriend and her father in an attempt to find the giant. They do, and it proceeds to terrorize them and the rest of Palm Springs, California.

New Shock Theater: Flesh Feast
Starring – Veronica Lake & Doug Foster     Rated R     1970

Host: Dr. Creep and Reverend Zealot are back relaxing on the set of New Shock Theater and chat about the nights film Flesh Feast as well as the actress Veronica Lake. They also chat about Dr. Creep’s uncle Doug Hobart who was a star in many films shot in Florida.

Movie: Dr. Elaine Frederick has just perfected a way of using maggots to make her test subjects not only look younger, but actually become younger. When they hear of the results of her experiments, her first clients, a team of hispanic neo-nazis, are delighted with the news. It seems they have a very elderly VIP in their group who needs to be rejuvenated before he can begin rebuilding his thousand-year reich. As their plan moves toward its completion, Dr. Frederick’s habit of experimenting on stolen corpses begins to attract the attention of an investigative reporter.

Live New Shock Theater: Impulse & The Flesh Eaters
Starring – William Shatner & Ira Lewis    Rated PG/Not Rated    1974/1964

Host: It’s April Fools Day! Dr. Creep and crew have decided to show a double feature of cheesy films…and they do it all LIVE! It’s The Groovie Shock-A-Thon! This was the first live Shock Theater is nearly 20 years and it’s filled with live calls. Cameos and a live in-house band! Guests featured include The Lawn Jockeys, Reverend Tommy Gunn, Henrique Couto and Andy Copp.

Movies: Impulse – A paranoid, leisure-suit-wearing conman/gigolo named Matt Stone seduces lonely women, bilks them of their savings via an investment scam, then kills them. When he begins seeing an attractive widow, her daughter Tina becomes suspicious of his motives. The Flesh Eaters – An alcoholic actress, her personal assistant, and their pilot are downed on a secluded isle by bad weather, where a renegade Nazi scientist is using ocean life to develop a solvent for human flesh. The tiny flesh-eating sea critters that result certainly give our heroes a run for their money – and lives.

Live New Shock Theater: Brainiac & Blood Freak
Starring – Steve Hawkes & Abel Salazar     Rated  X/Not Rated     1972/1962

Host: The second live episode of New Shock Theater took place in 2001. Dr. Creep chats with fellow Horror Hosts A. Ghastlee Ghoul and Dr. Freak as well showcases his in house band The Lawn Jockeys.

Movies: Blood Freak – A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl’s sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers. The Brainiac – In 1661 Mexico, the Baron Vitelius of Astara is sentenced to be burned alive by the Holy Inquisition of Mexico for witchcraft, necromancy, and other crimes. As he dies, the Baron swears vengeance against the descendants of the Inquisitors. 300 years later, a comet that was passing overhead on the night of the Baron’s execution returns to earth, bringing with it the Baron in the form of a horrible, brain-eating monster that terrorizes the Inquisitor’s descendants.

There is also a lost episode that only aired once; it was a Christmas episode and had Dr. Creep hosting The Deathmaster.  After the original airing, someone at the station stole the tape, or that’s what director Andy Copp told me some years back. It’s also really sad because in the final episode of New Shock Theater (Flesh Feast) Dr. Creep is so happy and gives a list of films that he will be hosting soon.  Sadly he never did get to host them as his health and Andy Copp getting busy with other projects kept the episodes from being shot. On a good note and something that might make fans happy I have come across most the raw footage for this episode and at sometime in the future I might try and recut the episode as the best I can and release it on DVD as well as show it on the Kreepy Kastle online Horror Host station. Dr. Creep impacted the lives of those who watched his show in the 70’s all the way to the 2000’s and still does even to this day and it shows in the shows of the hosts that followed as almost all of them credit him for their interspersion hosts like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Baron Von Porkchop, Dr. Freak and Iris & Retina all from Dayton who cared on the tradition he started here and all do it with pride and to honor Creep who paved the way for them. This update was a fun one to write and so many great memories came back and flooded my mind about Barry.  Next to Commander USA, this has been my favorite Horror Host Icon update I have written to date! If you have a fun story about Dr. Creep, please share in the comments, and if you have any original broadcast episodes of his Channel 22 days, please contact me as I would love to get a copy from you. To continue the countdown to the Halloween update that will be a surprise custom comic made by my good friend Eric Shonborn, our next update will be about The Fly and IDW’s sequel to the series started by David Cronenberg in 1986. So make sure to come back for that one and bring some Raid and a flyswatter just in case of a infestation..and as always read a comic or three and support your local horror host.

From Movies To Comics: The Ladies Of Seduction Cinema

Welcome back to Rotten Ink, or, if your a first time reader, thanks for visiting my little geeky place on the web! When I was a teenager one of my closest friends was Jason Gilmore, who was a guy I worked with at Kroger.  We were both baggers, and both of us were rowdy late teens who liked to listen to Danzig, watch pro-wrestling and play Nintendo 64 or Sony Playstation. I can remember many nights Jason and I, with bowls full of junk food and glasses filled with pop, would watch films all night or play video games.  Most of the times the films we would watch were cheesy action films and b-grade horror flicks.  On many of these binge nights of watching films I saw the likes of many Sonny Chiba Kung-Fu flicks and Jess Franco’s terrible shot on video masterpieces, and this is where we also discovered the world of Horror Parody films made by Seduction Cinema that not only packed in silly jokes but also lots of hot women who didn’t mind getting naked. This update is about two comic adaptations of Seduction Cinema films, and I will also share how I found out about the likes of Darrian Cain and Tina Krause. So sit back and relax and take a trip down the wild and sexy world of Seduction Cinema.

My brother Bryan used to always buy horror film magazines like Video Watchdog, Fangoria, Cult Movies, Psychotronic Video and Alternative Cinema, a magazine that showcased films made by Tempe, W.A.V.E, Troma and Camp Motion Pictures among many other independent studios.  These magazines are where I learned about films like Psycho Sisters and first set my eyes on the lovely Tina Krause and so much more in between. The appeal of the magazine was that it covered films, directors and actors that the other horror magazines at the time would not touch and was a great tool when trying to find a VHS film to rent from the local rental store. I can remember always looking at films made by W.A.V.E. with such titles like Sleepover Massacre and Danger In Blue (these are some of the tame ones) that showcased women being murdered and chased by attackers and thinking “Wow, these are sleazy” as if you paid the right amount of money you could have the actresses act out your movie or fantasies like brushing their hair or putting on shoes. But this magazine will always have a special place in my heart; as I stated before it introduced me to Tina Krause as well as the wild parody world of Seduction Cinema! So here is to all of you who worked on Alternative Cinema Magazine for showcasing the films and actors that would have went unnoticed.

VHS and DVD collecting was always a popular hobby for me and my friends, and once more Jason Gilmore was one of those friends who loved to hit Suncoast in the Dayton Mall or Second Time Around on Brown Street and look for films that we wanted to check out on one of our movie marathon nights. The first Seduction Cinema films I ever saw were The Erotic Witch Project and Titanic 2000, two films we found on VHS at Suncoast. I can remember that while we watched the cheesy sex comedies, we would make comments on how hot the actresses were and laughed about just how bad the comedy was. Jason picked Erotic Witch because it starred Darian Caine, and I choose Titanic because of Tina Krause. Over the years I picked up a few more movies with Krause, and the first Seduction Cinema I ever picked up on DVD was Mistress Frankenstein a super cheesy flick that starred Darian as the monster.  Another movie that stands out is My Vampire Lover, a film my then girlfriend Misty loved, and she became a fan on the pin up model Paige Richards who starred in it. When I became a movie reviewer Bloodline Video’s website many great companies were sending us DVD’s for reviews that included Paramount, Elite, Anchor Bay, SRS Cinema and of course Pop Cinema, the parent company of Seduction. Sometimes I miss the days of reviewing movies as it was always a fun time to sit down in front of the TV and fire up the DVD player and watch and write about the movie.  Maybe one day I will return to doing so.

But thanks to being a reviewer I was loaded up with many of the “classic” Seduction Cinema Titles and many of the actresses became names I was familiar with so I figured that I would take this time and give you a rundown on some of my favorites, you know the ones who made some of these cheesy movies better just by showing up and showing out, so here is my top 4 actresses for Seduction Cinema.

AJ Khan

# 4 on my list is the one and only AJ Khan. AJ was born Anju Jena McIntyre in New Delhi, India on June 18^th 1977 but when still an infant her family moved to Phoenix, Arizona.  When she turned 18, she moved to New York were she started to work as a model, dancer and actress and made a name for herself being in music videos, and later she became a sex symbol by posing nude in such magazines as Penthouse and Portfolio. Around this time she also changed her name to AJ Khan and was a professional dominatrix. But in 2000, she began acting in Seduction Cinema soft core parody films in titles like “Erotic Witch Project 2: Book of Seduction”, “Daughters Of Darkness”, “The Erotic Mirror” and “That 70’s Girl” to name a few. Around this time she also was working with Rick Savage on S&M films and even directed a film called “Kinky Casting Couch”. As of 2014 she is still working in independent films and is even in an all female band called Buffalo Gals and has toured with said group. AJ is a beautiful woman who is an exotic beauty and is one heck of a good actress in these sleazy and cheesy movies.

So let’s take a look at my #3 actress in the world of Seduction Cinema, shall we?

Darian Caine

Darian was born in Amherst, Massachusetts on October 24, 1973 and was a cheerleader during her time in school.  This helped her when she wanted to become a model when she went to live in New York. Darian modeled in many catalogs for many products from lingerie to shoes and was a stunning beauty. During this time she also started to take small extra roles in TV shows like Law & Order and did so until she became bored with the mainstream work she was doing. So she took a different route with her career that including being in adult magazines like Swank and Leg Show and as well became an actress for Seduction Cinema and for the most part was the original poster woman for the company and was on most of the company’s promotional items. Her first role was in a film called “Girl Explores Girl: The Alien Encounter,” and she went on to be in such films as “The Erotic Witch Project”, “Mistress Frankenstein”, “The Sexy Sixth Sense” and “The Erotic Ghost” to name a few. Besides Seduction Cinema films, Darian became a very popular actress for many independent horror films and still remains as lovely as ever. She also made two films for After Hours Cinema, a spin off from Seduction that are a little more adult in nature with one being called “Darian Caine My Pleasures.” Darian’s looks reminds me of a hot goth gal mixed with a metal chick, and that’s a-ok with me!

So we have seen AJ and Darian so far, and now it’s for my # 2 actress!

Misty Mundae

Misty Mundae was born Erin Brown in Illinois on October 16 1979 and began her acting career in films made by Factory 2000, a company made by William Hellfire. But after making these cheap films with such titles as “Vampire Strangler” and “The Bizarre Case Of The Electric Cord Strangler,” she began making films for Seduction Cinema and quickly became the company’s biggest and brightest star and became the go to girl for erotic movie parodies. She was in such “classics” as “Erotic Survivor”, “Mummy Raider”, “Roxanna”, “Lust In The Mummy’s Tomb”, “Sin Sisters”, “The Lord Of The G-Strings” and so many more! But also around this time, Misty was starring in Horror Films for E.I. Cinema (Pop), the parent company for Seduction in such films as “Screaming Dead”, “Lust For Dracula”, “Shock-O-Rama” and “Bite Me”. By 2005 she was cutting down her roles in Seduction Cinema titles and began taking roles in bigger budget films under the name Erin Brown as well as TV shows even getting a major role in The Masters Of Horror in a episode called “Sick Girl” and went on to be in such films as “The Rage,” “Holocaust Cannibal” and TV Shows like “Lingerie” and “C.S.I.”. Misty is still an active actress and has even directed a few films like “Voodoun Blues”, “Lustful Addiction” and “Confessions of a Natural Beauty”. What set Misty apart from many of the actresses in these type of films is that she had a girl next door look to her, and she was not made of plastic like so many are, plus on film she gave off a nice girl aura. I for one must say I am a Misty Mundae fan and enjoy her work in horror films as I feel she was fantastic in The Rage and Sick Girl. The first film I ever saw her in was Mummy Raider, a take on the video game series Tomb Raider.

Are you ready for my # 1 actress in Seduction Cinema history? And I am sure it will be no shock to anyone…

Tina Krause

Born on July 29, 1970 Tina Krause began her acting career in 1994 after being spotted at a Chiller Theatre Convention and before that she was a graphic designer and 3D illustrator. Her first film was a Horror film called “Sorority Slaughter” and from this moment on she became an instant hit for fans who enjoy low budget films and stunning scream queens. Many more film roles from WAVE would follow that included “Rana Queen Of The Amazon”, “Female Mercenaries On Zombie Island”, “Sorority Slaughter 2” and many others. In 1998, she made the leap into Seduction Cinema/E.I movies with her first being the original “Psycho Sisters” and many more would follow like “Vampire’s Seduction”, “Crimson Nights” and “Misty’s Secret” as well as many films for Factory 2000, the same company who brought Misty Mundae into the spotlight. Over the years Tina has starred in many films and even was in my good friend Chris Seaver’s Lord of the Rings parody film “Quest For The Egg Salad” where she played an elf named Nienna. Tina is still acting and has many upcoming films this year like “Scars Of A Predator” and “Hunters”, not to mention she also models and is as stunning as ever.  While she was not rammed down your throat like many of the other Seduction actresses, I can safely say that Tina remains my favorite and her beauty is unmatched by all of the Seduction girls past and present. The first time I saw Tina was in a copy of Alternative Cinema magazine and the first full movie of hers was Titanic 2000.

Seduction Cinema has slowed down on making sexy movie parody films as of late, and they don’t seem to have an actress that is the face of the company like they did with Darian and Misty and now focus a lot on independent horror films and classic smut reels.  To be honest, I really dig that they have started to put out more horror flicks like “Phantom of The Grindhouse”, “Porkchop” and “Babysitter Massacre”. But now I think it’s time to take a look at the comics based on Seduction Cinema films, and I want to thank Amazon for having them in stock. I want to remind you that I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and base it on entertainment value, quality of the story, the art and how true it stays to the source martial.  So are you ready to get your Seduction on…wait that sounds gross let’s just start with the comic reviews.

Playmate Of The Apes  # 1  **1/2
Released in 2012   Cover Price $9.99   Seduction Cinema Comics   #1 of 1

Deep in space Commander Gaylor is asleep as her two shipmates Lt. Fornication and Lt. Pushkintucushkin decide to make out with each other and press the do no push button causing their ship to crash on a planet filled with monkeys who act like humans! The girls are taken prisoner and are forced to dance at a strip club to see if they have “soul” and are under the watch of an ape woman named Dr. Cornholeus and a fuzzy gorilla named Dr. Kweera who want to prove to the ape in charge, General Lade, that the new human women from space can dance. Lade is having none of it and is upset at the idea that a human woman has the soul to dance, and this causes them to send away Lt. Fornication and Lt. Pushkintucushkin to an unknown location making their fate a mystery. Commander Gaylor is freed from her cell along with a wild woman named Uvula, and with the two Ape doctors, they go on the run. Lade and his men find out and go on the hunt for the missing human women, but Gaylor only wants to get to her ship so she can go home.  On the journey they meets a barbarian queen who takes the wanted group to her village. But during a rap and dance party at the human village Lade and his men find them and are about to kill them all until a God like figure called The Missing Link, an ape with a human head, tells them that ape and man are the same and the hatred goes out the window as they all have a big party! In the end with some chewing gum they fix Gaylor’s ship and she is off only to land on a planet where everyone is a chicken!

This comic feels like a more adult version of a Cracked Magazine parody of Planet Of The Apes that could have been in their classic magazine. And I should note it has plenty of big oversized naked comic boobs to make it not suitable for younger comic readers. The plot is paper thin and is about three lesbian astronauts crashing on a planet run by apes.  They are forced to dance and are hunted down when some escape. None of the characters are super fleshed out so I will try my best to give you all a little something about the leads of this comic adaptation. Commander Gaylor is a strong willed woman who knows what she wants in life and also has the ability to dance making her stand out among the other females of the planet. Lt. Fornication and Lt. Pushkintucushkin are dimwit goofs who are throwaway characters in this comic and only act as the two who are responsible for the crash and are quickly written out of the comic story. Dr. Cornholeus is a female ape who believes in human woman and think that they do have soul and can dance. Dr. Kweera is a fuzzy ape who is around for one liners and filler. Uvula is a mindless beautiful savage woman who adds nothing but a make out scene to the comic, and the same can be said for the barbarian queen. General Lade is an ape who hates human women and thinks they are all soulless beasts who are good for nothing. And last is the strange Missing Link who has a human head and a body of a gorilla who in a few words makes all the hate between the apes and humans go away, making you wonder what they hell took him so long to do so! The comic is filled with all types of cameos from the likes of C3PO from Star Wars to Hanna Barbara’s Magilla Gorilla truly giving it that Cracked or Mad magazine feel and quality with this just pushing more of adult humor. The art is done by Noel Anderson and is really good and has a cartoon look to it, think Archie Comics meets Star Comics and you have the style.  The downside is that the characters look NOTHING like the actresses that play them in the film. While not perfect, it still is a fun silly read that holds true to the nature of a Seduction Cinema movie.

Well from apes now to a spider-like superheroine (and I am not talking about Marvel’s Spider-Woman), we are talking about Spider-Babe! So let’s get to her adventure, shall we?

Spider Babe  # 1  **1/2
Released in 2012   Cover Price $9.99   Seduction Cinema Comics   #1 of 1

Patricia Porker is a nerd high school student who has a rich best friend named Lisa and lives with her Aunt Maybe and Uncle Flem.  While at school she gets bitten by a radioactive spider that turns her into a superhero who is turned on by other woman and has super strength. Patricia meets Lisa and her sister Lucinda for a short time and gets invited by her friend’s sister to come visit her work, and that night to get some money Patricia has a pro wrestling match as a masked fighter called Spider Babe against the undefeated woman’s champ Queen Bee and spanks her in the ring! After the match, a robber makes a get away and shoots and kills her Uncle Flem so as Spider Babe she takes him down, and from this moment on she becomes a super hero! Meanwhile Lucinda tests an experiment on herself and becomes a pissed off baddie named Femtilian who recruits a gang of clowns to take over the town. Patricia’s life is going good as she has moved in with her friend Lisa and even had saved the boy she likes, Mike, from a pack of red necks! But in the end as Spider Babe she comes face to face with Femtilian, and the two battle in the streets that leads them on top of a building where they learn each others’ true identities.  When Femtilian tries to trick Spider Babe, she accidentally knocks her from the building killing her and turning Lisa into a hater of Spider Babe in the end.

This comic adaptation is a cross between the film its based on, Spider-Man – the film it’s a parody of and once more Cracked Magazine. The plot is a nerd girl gets bitten by radioactive spider and turns into a hot and bothered super hero who takes on a super villain that turns out to be her best friend’s sister. Or I could safely also say that the comic is all about Patricia Porker’s butt as that seems to be the focus on many panels as well as many jokes. Patricia Porker or Spider-Babe is a young woman who is smart, clumsy, in love and loves her best friend Lisa as well as Mark but can’t get her mind off Lucinda, who seems to be her dream lover. Lucinda or Femtilian is a master mind criminal who wants to take over the city with the help of her clown gang and will do whatever she can to gain that power.  Too bad she gets beat up super quickly by Spider Babe and is knocked off a building to her death. The rest of the characters are all throwaways who do what little they can to help move yet another paper thin plot along. The issue is packed with cheesy one liners, some fist to fist action and of course girls making out and captures the goofy nature of the film it’s based on making it a fun read. Like Playmate Of The Apes, this comic has some great cameos like comic strip character Dagwood and even Sylvester P. Smythe from Cracked Magazine! The art is once more well done by Noel Anderson and still doesn’t look like the actresses who played the parts but I found myself not caring as I liked the Archie cartoon look. Not much more can be said about this comic besides if you like your super hero comic laced with sleaze, then this is something I am sure you would like.

So as you can see, these comics are cheesy fun filled with all the charm and nudity of the films and then some as they add in nice over the top cameos from popular characters from movies, TV and magazines. So as of 2015 and this update, I have yet to hear about any other plans for new comics to be made in this series and that’s a shame as I feel that many of their Seduction titles and LOTS of their horror titles would make good comics as I would love to see comics based on Splatter Farm, Babysitter Massacre, and Video Violence.  But time will only tale if more issues are in the fates. Our next update will be coming from Monster Bash Convention again, and we will be taking a look at Fantaco’s adaptation of Night Of The Living Dead.  So make sure to come back and visit for that one! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch a movie or two and support your local horror host.

Hercules: The Legendary Turkey Day Journeys In Mashed Potato Land

Happy Thanksgiving! It’s another great holiday filled with turkey and all the fixings so I figured we ought to once more take a look at that Greek hero Hercules! As you long time readers remember last Thanksgiving we took a look at the Steve Reeves inspired Hercules comic made by Dell.  Well this year we are covering the Topps’ Kevin Sorbo TV version of the muscled hero. This Thanksgiving I am at my parents’ house spending time with family, eating way to much food and loving life so let’s not wait any longer to dive into this review because I am pretty sure I am close to being in a food coma! Oh yeah enjoy the Indian and Pilgrim below because thats what Thanksgiving’s all about right? Or is it football…I forget.

In 1994 MCA/ Universal Television created a two hour block of programing called “Action Pack” that would consist of TV Shows or a Made for TV Movie all done by Renaissance Pictures, which was founded by Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell and Rob Tapert who brought us The Evil Dead films. This block of TV lasted until 2001 and gave us such shows as “Xena: Warrior Princess”, “Cleopatra 2525”, “Jack Of All Trades”, “Vanishing Son” and “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” not to mention the Hercules films that came before it was turned into an ongoing series and even one’s based on TekWar and Midnight Run. I can remember when the Hercules films first started to air; I was hooked and would watch them all the time, I even taped a few on the old VCR that was near its last legs of life. The big issue around here was that lots of times the Action Pack did not have a set time when it started and many times sports games and other programs would be on or push its airing to later in the day. This was changed after a while, and I can remember always waking up like clockwork to watch Xena: Warrior Princess, and my Dad turning to it and poking fun at it, as my Mom would make us breakfast. In this modern day and age of TV where crappy reality shows and infomercials rule the airwaves things like Action Pack and horror hosts are truly missed… and oh yeah MTV needs to just end already when they choose to air things like Jersey Shore, Teen Wolf and Teen Mom over playing music videos what they were founded on.  They are dead to me.

On January 16^th 1995, after a year of just being made for TV movies (5 in total) Hercules: The Legendary Journeys became a full fledged TV show that would last a total of 6 seasons with 111 episodes. The series would follow Hercules played by Kevin Sorbo as he traveled around wronging rights and challenging the Gods who were doing cruel things to humans. Many times he would be joined on his adventures by his best friend Iolaus (Michael Hurst) or even goofy con man Salmoneus played by Robert Trebor and together they would face warlords, thieves, monsters and Gods and all done in a cheesy over the top way. The show, while having some serious moments, was mostly a tongue in cheek show filled with silly humor and outrageous fighting. I loved this show when I was younger and tried to never miss an episode when I could find it on.  I loved old sword and sandal films and always enjoyed the stories and quests of Hercules so watching a TV show done by the people who made The Evil Dead films was a super win for me. One great thing about the show was when they had monsters on and the great cheesy special effects they used, while some times they would just CGI the monsters other times it was guys in rubber suits or makeup. During the show they also introduced a character named Xena who was a female warrior who was cold blooded and a killer.  Well she became so popular that they turned her good and gave her a show called “Xena: Warrior Princess!” Hercules was the top rated syndicated show for many years until Xena took the top spot, but Hercules was the original and spawned lots of merchandise from books to t-shirts and everything inbetween. It also spawned many clone shows like Conan The Adventurer, The Adventures of Sinbad, The New Adventures of Robin Hood, Tarzan: Epic Adventures and Beastmaster showing just how impactful this series was for the time. By the end of the series, Hercules lost steam and Xena was clearly the rising TV star so the show ended marking the end of Hercules being a TV superstar, and also marked the end for many of these silly adventure shows. The show did go on to be released on VHS and DVD so for those looking to rewatch or discover the show the home media market has you covered.

Kevin David Sorbo was born in 1958 in Mound, Minnesota and grew up in a normal household.  While in college and afterward, he began modeling in print ads and TV to help pay his tuition, and this helped kick start his acting career that started in 1986. Kevin took small roles in TV Shows like Santa Barbara, Murder She Wrote and The Commish until landing the role of Hercules in the 1994 made for TV film Hercules and The Amazon Women.  He would go on to play Hercules in four other made for TV films, a full fledged TV series as well as voiced an animated version in “Hercules & Xena: The Battle For Mount Olympus”. In 1997 he also played the lead character in the comic book movie “Kull The Conqueror” that was slated to be the third Conan movie, but was changed to Sorbo as Kull when Arnold Schwarzenegger turned the role down. Hercules The Legendary Journeys ended in 1999, and his next big show was the 2000 sci-fi adventure series “Andromeda” were he played Captain Dylan Hunt.  The show ended in 2005. After this role Sorbo took small roles in many TV shows like “The O.C.”, “Psych” and “Two And A Half Men”and did a string of direct to video films like “Never Cry Werewolf” and two Walking Tall films. Sorbo also has done some voice work for video games like “God Of War III” where he voiced Hercules and Crusher in “Skylanders: Giants” as well as a few more. Sorbo is still active in acting and has taken many roles now in Christian based films as well as other independent productions.  He can also be seen at many comic and sci-fi conventions as a guest. I always liked Kevin Sorbo as an actor and really think he made a great Hercules, and at some point in time I would love to work with him on an episode of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre where he and the Baron host the Steve Reeves Hercules movie. So here is hoping that Sam Raimi and company get an itch and make a new Hercules film for TV and have Sorbo back where he belongs.

Before we get too much into our look at Topps Comics 5 issue run based on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys we should also take a brief moment to take a look at a few of Hercules most popular sidekicks that not only joined him on this super popular show but as well as in this comic series. Iolaus is Herc’s best friend and his traveling buddy who goes on most of his adventures with him.  He is a skilled fighter and well trained with a sword. Iolaus is played by Michael Hurst and is the most popular and best liked of all his sidekicks and was in 79 episodes. Salmoneus is a older man who is balding with a beard who is a pure con man and will uses his friendship with Hercules to get money.  While he is a screw up, his heart is always in the right place and he values his friendship with Hercules. Salmoneus is played by Robert Trebor and appeared in 23 episodes and went on to be a regular on Xena Warrior Princess. Atalanta is a powerful female with strength and power who is a loyal friend to Hercules whom she also has a crush on.  She alongs side Hercules even created the first Olympics. She was played by female body builder Corinna Everson who made muscle bound women attractive to teenage boys.  She appeared in 3 episodes. So now you know a little more about his sidekicks, and if you watched the show then you I am sure all ready knew all this.

 

On of my favorite Greek Mythology monsters has always been The Minotaur, and in 1994 one of the made for TV Hercules films came out called “Hercules In The Maze Of The Minotaur.” The film followed Hercules who was retired but is drawn back into adventure when a small village is being terrorized by a evil Minotaur. I really enjoyed the film and can remember watching it many times when it aired and even taped it on VHS. The Minotaur in the movie had a great classic look and was fun to look at as the head was 4 times the size of the actor’s body. The Minotaur was played by Anthony Ray Parker who was known for roles like Dozer in The Matrix and Deputy in The Frightners and many other small roles in movies and TV. It’s a fun silly adventure movie that’s a fun watch on a boring night.  So if you’re bored this Thanksgiving night and are looking for something to watch with your family, give this one a thought.

Toy company Toy Biz, who was making toys based on Marvel Superheroes, decided to make figures based on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys starting in 1995 that consisted on 5” basic figures, taller monster figures and even 10” figures. The toy line lasted for a total of 3 waves that included six different versions of Hercules, 2 Xena’s and other characters like Iolaus, Ares, She-Demon, Centaur, Minotaur, Mesomorph, Mole-Man, Salmoneus and Atalanta. The larger monster figures in the series included the likes of Hydra, Ceberus, Graegus and many others. I was a little older when these figures came out, but I still collected many of them from the first wave as I got Hercules, Xena, Iolaus and Minotaur and put them on a shelf in my room.  In fact I still have them to this day. Some years later at a thrift store I found the Hydra for .49 and had to buy it because why the heck not? The figures, while cheesy looking, held the appeal of the show and I for one am glad they were made. At some point when I am able to get a bigger place to live I am sure the old Hercules toys will make an appearance in my film editing room.

Titus Software made a video game based on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys in 2000 for the N64 that was about Hercules trying to save his father Zeus from his step brother Ares who has taken the King of the Gods hostage and by doing so had shaken the mortal world and Mount Olympus to the core.  It’s up to Hercules to save him and set everything right. The game was your typical beat em up on the N64 and was a fun solid action game. When the game first came out while I had an N64, Sony’s Playstation was more of my system so I never did play it on release as the rumor was that a port of it was coming to Playstation. I waited and waited and even a very cool Xena game came out and I bought it and beat it to hold me over, but Hercules never did make it to the Playstation and that truly did suck for fans like me. A few years ago when I was working on some video game reviews for Bloodline Video, I chose to play and review Hercules for the N64 and while the game was flawed it still was a very cool game that I gave 2 1/2 stars to.  Sadly though the gaming magazines were not as nice to the game, and it mostly got poor to middle of the road reviews. But if you have a N64 and liked the show, I would say check it out.

So I hope you have your walking shoes on, and that your belly is not filled with too much turkey and mashed potatoes because its time for us to go on a journey with Hercules and see what adventures we can get in to! So before we start I should remind you that I grade these comics on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, and its art and story. I also want to thank Mavericks, Bell Book and Lone Star for having these issues in stock for me to be able to review for this Thanksgiving update. So let’s begin because Hercules grows tired of waiting for us.

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys  # 1  ***
Released in 1996   Cover Price $ 2.95   Topps Comics   #1 of 5

Salmoneus, friend of Hercules, is in a small village telling all who will listen and donate some coin about the famed 12 Labors of his friend.  After his story he meets Pronoea, a woman who pays him to help her find Hercules as she really needs his help. While traveling to find him, the pair comes across a band thief Centaurs who want to steal all their money but they are saved by Hercules who chases them off and finds that Pronoea’s husband has been kidnapped and he is more than happy to help her get him back. After Salmoneus heads back to the village Hercules and Pronoea begin their rescue quest that leads them to her husband who is the Titan Prometheus who has been shrunk down to normal size.  His voice taken and is tortured by a giant gold metal bird who rips at his guts everyday! Hercules is shocked to learn his own father Zeus is the one who is holding the Titan prisoner and after killing the golden bird Herc sets him free and finds out that Zeus, while the one who bound Prometheus, is not the one who made him mute and before they can escape they are attacked by Olympus fighters Bia and Cratos who knock out Hercules and re-chain Prometheus!

Topps Comics really captured the adventure and silly nature of the TV show perfectly with this first issue and proved that when they bought an IP, they treated it right. Hercules in the issue is very noble and clearly wants to do the right thing to help his fellow man. While Hercules is strong, it’s clear he is out matched when he must fight both Olympian fighters whose punches are as strong as a charging Rhino. Salmoneus is as sleazy as ever and, while a friend of Hercules, seems to always try to find a way to make a quick coin from the friendship. Pronoea and Prometheus are victims of the Gods who are using them as pawns in some sort of game to get at each other as well as Hercules. Bia and Cratos are mountains of “men” who have no mouths and are only around to destroy those they are sent after.  The Golden Metal Bird, while tough, is more of just a torture device. I find that the comic has some pretty gruesome moments as Prometheus has his stomach ripped open and you can clearly see his insides.  What makes this a nice touch is that this punishment is also told in real Greek mythology. The art done by Jeff Butler is fantastic, and all the characters look like the actors who play them on the show, and the story by Roy Thomas is also fantastic as this story arc is called “The Trial Of Hercules Part 1.” The cover as well is eye catching, and I can remember buying this issue new off the stands at Mavericks and thinking how cool the cover looked. Well this issue ends with Hercules being taken prisoner and taken away so let’s see just how much trouble our hero is really in shall we?

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys  # 2  ***
Released in 1996   Cover Price $ 2.95   Topps Comics   #2 of 5

Hercules finds that he is being taken by Bia and Cratos to Zeus who is putting Hercules on trail for freeing Prometheus from a punishment he placed on the Titan. The three Furies are acting as the jury, Zeus himself is the judge and Ares The God Of War is building the case against his half brother. Meanwhile Salmoneus and female powerhouse Atalanta figure out Hercules is in trouble and head to aid him. While Salmoneus shows up to the trail and acts as Hercules’s lawyer, Atalanta frees Prometheus who comes to Hercules’s defense and tells the truth that Ares is the one who made him mute to protect a secret that would have had all the Gods at war with each other! Zeus goes back to Mount Olympus as Ares and Hercules fight that ends with The Furies finding Hercules not guilty and Ares guilty and they take the God of War away to be punished. In the end Prometheus and Pronoea grow back to titanic size as Hercules with friends Salmoneus and Atalanta walk away possibly to have another adventure.

This second issue and the last part of the “Hercules on Trail” storyline is a well done issue and once more captures the magic of the show making for a good read. Hercules seems like he is in deep trouble as he has crossed the path of his father Zeus who is not happy about it at all! Ares wants nothing more than to kill or watch Hercules get murdered making him one evil villain! Prometheus and Pronoea come in at the last moment for the save as they are able to tell he secret that the Titan knows; they truly are the lifesavers of Hercules. Salmoneus is as greedy and spineless as ever and it takes some pushing for him to even attempt to come to his friend’s aid. Zeus is stern and fair and flexes his muscles to show everyone why he is the King of the Gods. Bia and Cratos are pushed to the background of this issue and just become the whipping boys of Hercules’s rage. Atalanta, while cool to see in this comic, doesn’t offer much to the plot, and it’s a shame cause she is a real butt kicker in the show.  In fact one odd thing this comic does is showcase the fact other characters like to look at her boobs and butt! The Furies are ugly females who live for nothing more than to dish out justice, and they seem to enjoy the fact they get to attack Ares who made the mistake of trashing their odd appearances. This issue for being about a trail is pretty action packed and has many good fighting with the best being the Hercules and Ares brawl, and like the first issue this does have some blood as Atalanta is stabbed in the arm protecting Salmoneus from robbers. The art is top notch again done by Jeff Butler, and the story is still done by Roy Thomas showing that they make a great comic making pair. The next issue teases that Xena The Warrior Princess will be appearing and while the fan boy in me is pretty hyped for it, another side kind of just sighs and wishes they would just keep Xena in her own Topps Comic that was gearing up to being made. To sum it up these first two issue are fantastic and are perfect fun cheesy reads for fans of the show like myself.

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys  # 3  ***
Released in 1996   Cover Price $ 2.95   Topps Comics   #3 of 5

Xena, along with her friend Gabrielle, travel to her home village to find it burnt to the ground and her mother is being held captive by a scar faced general named Aesor who claims that he works for Hercules and that her mother will die if she does not join their army! Xena doesn’t believe these claims until she sees Hercules on the hill watching the carnage below.  This makes her mad, and she and Gabrielle beat up all the soldiers with only Aesor escaping. Xena’s mother takes her to see the body of an old man from the village that was killed during the raid, and Xena swears revenge and heads to Hercules’ village. Iolaus is throwing a birthday party for Alcmene as Xena shows up in a rage and starts attacking, right before things get to bad Hercules along with Salmoneus and Atalanta show up and Xena takes her rage out on her true target Hercules! The two do battle all the while Hercules tries to calm the situation down and proclaim his innocence, and only after Salmoneus talks sense into Xena (whom he is also friend with) does the pair decide to leave their friends behind and team up to find the answers. As the pair travel the run into an old woman who claims she saw Aesor going one way and turns out she in fact is a he and is the shape shifter who claimed to be Hercules known as Periclymenus.

This third issue is more about Xena then Hercules, and while it makes sense to build up this adventure, it’s still a little of a letdown as the title hero seems to be taking a back seat to a hero they clearly were getting ready to push in her own comic series. The story in this issue is pretty classic stuff as Xena thinks Hercules has wronged her village, but in reality the pair of heroes is being set up by a shape shifting bad guy who has his own plans of domination. Hercules once more is a hero and doesn’t want to fight Xena who is going crazy but more wants to talk it out.  Once more Herc is a class act. Xena is a tough woman who, while is a loose cannon, wants so badly to wrong rights and is doing so cause of her rocky past. Iolaus and the rest of the sidekicks, while great seeing them, all seem to just be glorified cameos. The fact Xena thinks that Hercules has sent men to murder and burn down her home village shows just how much she really doesn’t know her friend and proves that she is easily tricked into a rage filled rampages. Periclymenus in his true look is a creepy looking demon type and will indeed be a tough foe for our heroes to beat.  Plus he is able to change his looks and also has an army of back stabbing bad guys. This issue as well is a team up of artist Jeff Butler and writer Roy Thomas and once more proves they are a great team who seem to know the IP and really care about making a quality story. The cover I have is a little silly; it’s a huge live action still of Xena making it clear that Topps was already moving past Hercules and gearing up to focus on their new prized IP. Well let’s move onto the fourth issue and see how our heroes will be able to stop Periclymenus.

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys  # 4  ***
Released in 1996   Cover Price $ 2.95   Topps Comics   #4 of 5

Periclymenus’s army is attacking another village and have orders to kill everyone.  As the attack happens Hercules and Xena come to the rescue and find out that Periclymenus used them as a diversion so that he could attack Hercules’s home village and kidnap his mother! As Hercules and Xena rush to help, Atalanta, Iolaus, Salmoneus and Gabrielle hold off the attacking army but Periclymenus disguised as the fake Hercules is able to kidnap Alcmene and tells her he needs her help to find a man that will be able to give him the strength of Hercules to go along with the look! When Hercules and Xena arrive, the group informs them of the kidnapping and they all break into groups to find her.  Hercules and Iolaus are a team and end up finding Periclymenus who has found who he was looking for that was his brother who made an elixir that turns things super strong and changing into a Chimaera (a giant flying monster with the head of a goat, upper body of a lion and lower body of a dragon) and sets his site on killing Hercules!

This fourth issue is action packed, and every main character from the show has a good role to play! The whole plot of this issue is a kidnaping and rescue that leads to the baddie getting more power just in time for a final showdown that will be coming up in the final issue. Hercules saves people’s lives and for doing so he puts his own mother at risk.  This major risk helps bring out the human side of him and helps us as the reader feel as if things really could go badly for him. Xena in this issue takes a backseat and plays the role of sidekick as well as Atalanta, Salmoneus and Gabrielle; while they all fight they are not the main focus. Iolaus is a true friend of Hercules and fights along his friends side even when the odds are against them. As for Periclymenus, we learn a little something about him.  So besides being a shape shifter he also has a brother who makes powerful elixirs that can give him more power and up his shifting abilities. Plus the fact that he is now a giant Chimaera looking to rip Hercules apart adds so much to the danger Herc is truly in. Butler and Thomas make a great pair again and deliver another solid and fun issue, and I am really hyped to read the 5^th and final issue so let’s not wait any longer.

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys  # 5  ***
Released in 1996   Cover Price $ 2.95   Topps Comics   #5 of 5

Xena and Gabrielle find Aesor who is being chased by a club wielding giant, and they make a deal with him that they will save him if he takes them to where Periclymenus is holding Hercules’s mother. Meanwhile Hercules and Iolaus find a way to hurt the Chimaera version of the shape shifter who disappears. Hercules finds his mother who must bandage her head due to fallen rocks as Periclymenus’ brother tells them all about their troubled past as well as that when he changes now that his striped black birthmarks will appear on what or whom ever he looks like. Xena and crew coming running up with a giant following and to everyone’s horror they watch has he smashes Aesor into paste! But together Hercules and Xena stop and reluctantly have to kill the giant, just as Periclymenus shows himself again as he was the bandage around Alcmene’s head.  He battles both Xena and Hercules and even knocks his own brother off a cliff.  In the end Xena tricks him into falling to his death or so they all think as he really just took the place of his brother and plans to fight another day as our heroes think the battle is over.

Periclymenus is cold blooded as he knocks his brother off a cliff to his death and then uses his own brothers appearance to have Hercules and Xena save his evil life! He was a great bad guy and when gaining his new powers really was a tough foe for our heroes to fight. Hercules uses all his power, will and wits to try and out muscle the shape shifter and does so to save not only himself from death’s grip but also his mother and friends who are also all in grave danger. Xena uses her skill and mind and is the one who gets the battle to end when she tricks the shape shifter into reaching for a small bottle of the elixir causing him to fall off the same cliff he shoved his brother off. Alcmene as well as both Gabrielle and Iolaus all play small but important parts to this issue’s wrap up story and each show a warrior’s spirit. The issue as well has some blood as the Giant splats Aesor with his club that becomes blood soaked, and then the Giant gets stabbed in the face by Xena’s sword and then falls on top of a stone spike and all done with the red stuff showing. Butler and Thomas once more make a great team and it’s really cool that they were the team for all 5 issues, and each one was well done and solid showing the talent each had and the love of the source material they shared. In fact I would say that this could be one of the best comic series based on a 90’s TV show made at this time and once more brings out my respect for Topps Comics, a company that truly is missed by this comic reader. If you’re a fan of Hercules The Legendary Journeys or just fun cheesy adventure comics based on Greek myths, then I would say that this comic series is worth your time for a read, and I will say they held up after all these years and I liked them back then and find myself liking them now.

So I hope you had a legendary journey with Hercules and me on this Thanksgiving in 2014, and I must say that this Topps series was really well done and makes me miss them as a comic company even more! Plus it makes me miss the good old days of TV way before reality shows ruled the airwaves when shows like Hercules and Xena were highly watched and loved by viewers. Oh well, like everything in life stuff changes and we ca’nt stop the future. Our next update will be a comic based on a episode of the 1982 Incredible Hulk Cartoon where Hulk fights an ancestor of The Hunchback of Notre Dame! Well I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends and that your bellies are not too filled so that you saved room for dessert.  So until next time, enjoy life and make sure to have your own legendary journey!

Hellraiser III: Hell In Ink

It’s now October, and we are ever so close to Halloween.  In this update as promised we are going to open the Puzzle Box and take a look at Epic Comics’ adaptation of Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth! But to really tell the story of how I first got to see the film, we have to focus on video rental stores, not your Blockbuster Videos or West Coast Video but the ones that were in super market and department stores. Back in the 1980’s, the video rental industry was in a huge boom and alongside the massive chains, you also had smaller mom and pop shops and still yet major retail chains even got into the business and had small sections in the store that acted as their rental shop. One such store that had a video rental store in it was Kroger on Whipp Road.  It was a full grocery and midway in the store, they had a very small electronics department that was filled with cameras, film and blank cassettes and VHS tapes; that’s also were the video store was. For me, way before Netflix took its soulless grip on movie watchers, video rental stores were a very important way to discover horror films that I had never heard of, and nothing can take the place of cruising the isle of a video store looking at the amazing cover art for VHS and DVD scary films to choose what ones to watch that weekend. That’s one thing I will always love about my teen years, hanging out with my older brother Bryan and going to the local video store and renting a ton of horror films to watch over the weekend, only taking a break to watch TNT’s Monstervision or USA’S Up All Night, but I am getting off topic. One weekend my Dad and I went over for a quick visit to my uncle’s house.  It was early in the morning, and the visit was a couple of hours.  On our way home my Dad stopped at Kroger to pick up some food for dinner, and while he went shopping I beelined to the video department and started looking at the PVT’s (Previously Viewed Tapes) and there it was Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth on VHS and I so wanted it! My Dad found me holding the tape in my hand as if it was a prize.  I had seen the first two Hellraiser films and loved them and so wanted to see the third film in the series. My Dad told me it was time to go and reality hit me in the face that I was just a young kid with no money and as I slowly started to put the tape back on the shelf my Dad said “You want that movie? Well go on and get it and let’s go” and this is why my Dad rules.  He could see in my face how much I wanted that movie and spent the money to get it for me, and this small thoughtful act meant the world to this strange Monster Kid.

When we got home, I rushed to the VCR and popped in my new VHS tape as my parents went outside to do some yard work, and I was treated to the wonders of the Hell on Earth! The film is about Joey Summerskill a TV reporter who is stuck doing lame stories, but one night she stumbles onto a case while at the ER.  She witness a teen coming in for help who is ripped apart before her eyes by chains! The dead youth was brought in by a young pretty girl named Terry who is dating JP Monroe, the owner of a club called the Boiler Room, and Joey really needs to find her to crack this story. The club is filled with all types of odd artwork that includes a pillar that houses the evil spirit of Pinhead and when Joey goes looking for Terry she gets to see just how scummy JP is. Terry breaks up with JP and stays with Joey to fill her in on the puzzle box that is revealed to be the source of the chains that killed the youth, and to make things worse Pinhead is breaking free of the pillar and is using JP to bring him victims to get stronger with false promises. But when Pinhead uses Terry to free himself from the his prison its up to Joey armed with the puzzle box to fight off Pinhead and his new crew of cenobites who want to bring Hell to Earth! Joey is helped by Captain Elliott Spencer (Pinheads human counterpart) in her dreams who is the key of ending his terror forever. Is Joey strong enough to defeat Pinhead or will she be the reason the world as we know it coming to an end? The write up was taken from my old Review site for Bloodline Video were I gave the film a 3 1/2 out of 5 stars. I would watch the film several times over the years on that VHS tape and at times I think I drove my Mom crazy with watching it as she hated a scene that took place in a church. But I don’t want to talk to much about the film’s plot and my thoughts because we will save all that for the comic!

One thing I should point out is that on my first viewing I was amazed by the body and boobs of actress Aimee Leigh, who plays Sandy a young woman from the club that is used for sex and then is killed by Pinhead. When watching the scene where she is naked on the bed, I felt as if I was watching something I should not be seeing and that my parents were going to come in the living room and ask what kind of filth was I watching! But I made it past the scene and her performance will always live on in my mind!

While Pinhead is the most popular Cenobite, his fellow minions also have their own following.  I mean who could forget Chatter or even Butterball from the original 1987 movie, and this third film has its own cast of weird cenobites characters that include CD Head, a cenobite that has Compact Discs in his head and he can fling them as a deadly weapon. Barbie is a Cenobite with barbwire around his face who can also blow fire from his mouth! Camera Head has a camera for an eye that he can use it as a tool to shoot through the skulls of victims.  Piston Head is a cenobite with a piston running through his head, and last is Terri a female cenobite who well, dreams….yeah, these cenobites could be the lamest of Pinhead’s henchmen in the whole series, but their cheesy names and gimmicks also makes them pretty damn cool! I can remember fellow horror film fan friends of mine as well as my cousins Dino and Norman making fun of the likes of CD Head.  Poor CD seemed to be the one everyone pointed out as being lame and was the butt of many jokes. Bellow is a group pick of the cenobites from the film as well as I believe the director of the film.  So check em out and see CD Head in all his glory!

I can’t remember too much merchandise coming out in 1992 when the film was released to theaters besides the movie poster, cardboard cut out and maybe a T-Shirt, but in the 2000’s toy makers NECA made a line of figures based of the Hellraiser franchise and many of these figures were based on the Cenobites from the third film. The figures are well detailed and are great collectors items and are worth a buy if your a fan of the series, and yes I do own many of them and yes, one of them is CD Head. Check out the pics bellow for what they look like.

The film had two soundtracks come out on CD and Cassette, one being the score and the other being music used and inspired by the film that includes artist like Motorhead and KMFDM. While the Rock N Roll soundtrack is pretty dang good, the score music by Randy Miller is the better choice of the two for me. While Miller’s music fits the film, it’s very 90’s sounding and very different from the Christopher Young score of the original. So if you like horror film soundtrack music, then you can pick your poison and bang your head or soak in the mood of this film. And for those wondering I do play Miller’s score music on Alpha Rhythms from time to time.

So it’s time.  The Puzzle Box is open and the chains are flying and I can hear Pinhead creeping around so before we get stuck in his nightmare world and we are forced to read Epic Comics’ adaptation of the third Hellraiser film, I want to remind everyone that I grade these comics on a standard 1-4 star scale and look for entertainment value, art, story and how true the comic is to its source material. So the time is here, let’s get ready to walk the dark side with the cenobites!

Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth   **
Released in 1992   Cover Price $4.95   Epic Comics   # 1 of 1

J.P. Monroe is a night club owner who buys a pillar statue from an abandoned art house from a strange homeless man.  Meanwhile news reporter Joey Summerskill is at the ER covering a boring story and as Doc, her cameraman, leaves a young man is rushed in with chains hanging from open wounds on his body, Terri, a young goth girl who brought him, in is the only clue to what has happened to this young man as Joey watches as he chains rip him apart! The news station she works with thinks Joey’s story is too fantastic, and she goes out on her own to find answers to what has happened to the exploding youth. She tracks Terri to a night club called The Boiler Room that’s owned by J.P. and leaves her business card for Terri to call her.  Terri does so once she and boyfriend J.P break up and Joey allows Terri to stay with her at her apartment. Joey and Terri work as a team and try to find answers to what the Puzzle Box is and what is its connection to the youth’s death. Meanwhile J.P finds that Pinhead, the evil cenobite, is living in his statue and wants human blood to become stronger and free himself from his stone prison and unleash hell on Earth! Joey gets a visit in her dreams from a man named Elliot who was the human side of Pinhead who teaches her the way to kill the cenobite once and for all! But Pinhead has some tricks up his sleeve as he turns J.P., Terri, Doc and some of the bar workers into cenobites and tries to bully Joey into giving him the puzzle box, the only tool that can send him back to Hell! In the end Joey, with the help of Elliot’s ghost, tricks Pinhead and sends him back to where he came from, and she buries the box in concrete.

First thing I must say is that for a comic adaptation of a Hellraiser film, this sure does wuss out on the blood and gore and for the most part is pretty tame! In fact I think that some Vertigo and Marvel Horror titles might be bloodier than this! The story of the film is pretty intact with only a few things being left out, the most notable one being the slaughter at the night club that is nothing more than the aftermath of the massacre with bodies being around but no blood. I think the biggest issue with this comic is the whole thing seems rushed from the story to the art. Joey is a pretty likeable hero who you find yourself rooting for as she tries her best to solve the puzzle of how to rid the world of Pinhead once and for all.  She is also very brave as she heads towards danger and befriends a ghost. Terri is a confused young woman who tries to do the right things but is easily manipulated by scummy people like J.P and Pinhead.  She’s a pretty good “sidekick” and helps add to the over all story. J.P. is a pure scumbag and is one of those characters you love to hate. Pinhead, while the main villain in this comic, really doesn’t seem to do much besides talk a lot and murder people, many of them not seen on any panel. I really hate to say it, but I was really bored reading this comic adaptation and while I really like the movie, I would tell comic fans to skip this one. At some points while reading this comic I found my mind wondering and losing interest and that’s a bad sign. The art is done by Miran Kim and in some spots it looks good, but many of times it looks terrible and down right laughable! The cover is the best part about this comic and is the only really good piece of artwork connected to this Epic Comics failure.  It’s a shame because I really wanted to like this comic adaptation and was looking forward to reading it. Below is some of the artwork from the comic, and I must also say sorry for the poor scans, the comic was a tough one to use my scanner on.

So there you have it.  While I have some very fond memories of the film, this comic adaption is bland and sadly not very good. I really hate that this comic was bad as I was really looking forward to reading it for this year’s Halloween countdown. I also wish I would have kept that old VHS copy of the film looking back now because how I got it and who bought it for me made that something special. I should also thank Bell, Book And Comic for having this in stock and should also note that Epic Comics was a sub branch of Marvel. Well next up on our countdown to Halloween is something really cool as we take a look at Innovations’ comic adaptation of the classic film Psycho! So until then make sure to watch some horror films, support your local horror host, rent a movie from your town’s video store and read a horror comic or three and for the love of God, please don’t open any strange puzzle boxes.

MarvelProbe: When Pixels And Ink Meet

Welcome back to Rotten Ink.  Today I would like to talk about video games; right now on the home console market PS4 is kicking the butt of its competitors, the Nintendo WII-U and the Xbox One and with the Steam Box and even rumored Amazon Game System in the works this generation of gaming is going to be an interesting one. Most modern Triple A titles are like playing a movie as they are heavy on plots and the graphics are top notch.  Games of this style would be like Assassins Creed, Halo, God of War and Legend Of Zelda.  When playing a game like this, you are treated to beautiful breathtaking cut scenes that help draw you deeper and deeper into the plot. Also popular nowadays are the tiny mobile games that kids and adults play on their smart phones and tablets and most of these style games have very little plot and are quick play games that can kill boredom when waiting.  Examples of these games are Planets Vs. Zombies, Minecraft and Angry Birds. But for me mobile games are just kind of bland and when I want to play a video game, I want to pop in a cart or disc and grab my controller and play. In this day and age a player does not have to use much of his or hers imagination like they did back when Atari 800 or 2600 ruled the home game market with wire thin plots and pixels that were kind of in the shape of whatever your character was suppose to be. While I am sure gamers now look at classic video games like Pac-Man, Frogger and Q*Bert as primitive, nothing could prepare them for text adventure games! Yes, in the 1980’s text based games were very popular, and while some of them had some graphics at the top of the screen, many of them did not and looked like just a bunch of words on a screen waiting for simple commands to further the “adventure” along. Think of text games like the book series called Choose Your Own Adventure where by reading and making a decision, you have your character’s fate in your hands, because let’s be honest kids want to read a bunch of text in order to play a video game….right? Text based games have been made about all types of things from Dracula to World War II but some of the most popular ones were based on Marvel Super Heroes and would you know they also made comics based on their text based adventures and that’s what our main subject will be all about! So get ready to have a text not texting good time as we jump into the world of pixels and ink.

Adventure International was an early video game company run by husband and wife Scott and Alexis Adams who specialized in making games for the home computer market like the Commodore 64 and Apple II that started in 1978. Scott Adams was a big name in the world of video games throughout the early 80’s, and he was mostly known for making top of the line text based adventure games.  This helped his company lock a partnership with Marvel Comics in 1984 to make a text based game series that would focus many of their top heroes.  In fact, 12 games were planned in the line as were comics that would come out alongside the games via Marvel. The first three games to come out were adventures based on The Incredible Hulk, Spider-Man and Human Torch & The Thing from the Fantastic Four. The main plot had the heroes being studded by a unknown figure called Chief Examiner who would place them in odd places and situations to see how they would react to them. But sadly Adventure International hit a financial snag and closed up shop in 1985 leaving the 4th game,which was based around the X-Men, unfinished and the remaining titles in the line canceled. While his company may have closed shop Scott Adams still continued to make computer games throughout the years and even as of 2013 made a comeback after 10 years of not creating his own game made a text game called “The Inheritance” and remains an icon of PC Gaming.

Growing up the only text based games I could remember playing were ones that my Uncle Thurman would bring to our house in Waynesville when he and my Aunt Teresa would come visit us as kids. Most of the ones he had were more like dungeon and dragons and were the strict text ones with no graphics and were all for Commodore 64. I can remember one time looking through his massive collection of games all on floppy disks and finding Dracula and asking him if we could play it but after several tries the game never did load.  That’s one of the downsides to Commodore 64, it had lots of issues loading and when it was loading the time to get your game to start was very long. Imagine kids of today who already complain about the install times of modern games trying to play a full game on Commodore where you had to wait for it to not only load the game but also most of the times each level! But I will move on and over the years text games seemed like an oddity to me and captured my attention as I never could wrap my head around why gamers of the past found them to be hours of fun, and I got a reason to buy some when I started to review Video Games on my old website for my production company Bloodline Video a few years back under the name of Xmortis. So after getting a complete working Commodore 64 with the datasette reader and floppy drive from Game Swap, I looked for a text based game that I could review and it came down to one called Wolfman and the other being Questprobe: Incredible Hulk and when a cassette version of Questprobe popped up cheap on Ebay it became the lucky winner. The game is text based but does have graphics that for the time are really fun and try their hardest to look like comic book art.  I have to admit playing the first few times I hated it and was so frustrated by the lame commands that I would get bored and shut the game off or even gasp! Die in the game! How could I let The Hulk, one of my favorite comic characters, die in a lame text game is what I kept thinking, but finally I hate to admit it but I used an online walk through for what commands to give him and beat the game by cheating. The review never made it up on the site, and I hope to someday get back to Bloodline’s site and return it to the review and production glory it once was. As for now how I feel about Questprobe Hulk, I hate to admit it but I do like the idea of it, mostly cause it was the first video game based on Hulk. Below is the cover box for the game as well as some screen shots for you to feast your eyes on and enjoy all the pixel goodness.

Marvel Comics had a great thing going, not only did they have characters in video games now being written by Scott Adams but they could also get a 12 issue mini series from it that would help boost the sales of the game as also the game could boost the sales of the comics. This team up was truly a time when ink meet pixels, and the team up would have been perfect if not for the game company’s sudden shut down. Marvel during this time I am sure had a tough decision to make as they could continue a comic series based on games that were no longer being made or they could do the unthinkable and just cancel the mini series and leave fans hanging on what and who Chief Examiner was and what he wanted…and Marvel did what they always do they pulled the plug and walked away from the idea and as time passed did kind of wrap up the story in Marvel Fanfare # 33 where they printed the X-Men story and later in Quasar they added in the story of Questprobe. So on this update we are only going to cover the three issues released in the original mini series and will be graded on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comic stays to the source material, it’s entertainment value and it’s art and story. I want to thank the vendor at Fright Night Film Fest for having issue # in stock and Lone Star Comics for the remaining two issues. So let’s pop these comics into the datasette player and type in the load keys and enjoy pixels and ink together.

Questprobe # 1  ** 1/2
Released in 1984     Cover Price .75     Marvel Comics    #1 of 3

A race of peaceful aliens are preparing for an invasion from other aliens who are war hawks and want to kill them all as well as their planet.  They all turn on Durgan, a member of there council who wants to fight back and not just roll over and die. When Durgan leaves the meeting he knows that something has to be done so he dons a giant helmet and calls himself the Chief Examiner and heads to Earth to steal the powers of some of our top super heroes to use in a fight with the invading aliens. On Earth The Incredible Hulk is facing off with the National Guard and after making short work of their tanks, he heads off to find a place to sleep and does so in a cave on the side of a cannon. When entering the cave, the Hulk sees the Natter Energy Egg and the Blood Red Bio-Gem right as the two explode.  This event makes The Hulk tired and he falls asleep turning back in Bruce Banner and finally getting some piece and quite. Banner’s rest is quickly cut short as Chief Examiner enters the cave and tells him that he needs to have him walk through a door portal so that he can drain his power! Banner fights back and runs from the cave but soon learns that the cave is high and he is fallen to his death! Before he hits the ground he turns into The Hulk as the Chief Examiner tries to force him to enter the door portal, The Hulk doesn’t like to be told what to do and goes on a rampage to smash the dome headed alien into the ground, during this fight a group of white water rafters are knocked over when Hulk goes under water and breaks off one of the sides of the canon and pins Chief Examiner down, but by doing so the huge rock is blocking the river and causes the rafters to fall into the raging water. The Hulk dives in and pulls out all the males and see’s that the female is stuck in a whirlpool! The only way to get to her is by jumping into the portal doorway and he does so losing some of his power yet saving a young woman’s life. The Chief Examiner leaves with his prize the stolen energy as The Hulk waits to make sure the woman is okay and to remain some energy and leaps off into the sky.

This is a fun Hulk adventure that is a cool tie in for a video game and explains the strange world that the Hulk is found in during the text based adventure Game. The plot is pretty simple and has an alien who’s planet is under attack who travels to Earth to steal powers off powerful humans so that he can use it against the attackers, the first one he targets is Hulk cause of his brute strength. He tries to force the Hulk to enter his black doorway that allows him to steal/mimic his power and only does so when he forces The Hulk to make a decision to save a woman’s life and jump through the door or let her die and avoid the door. The Hulk in this issue is the simple minded version who just wants to be left alone and knows that his brute power is the best way to keep everyone away, this is my favorite version of the Hulk as he is the one truly grew up reading and the one that made me a lifelong fan next to the TV Show. I love the fact that while The Hulk is a “monster” in the eyes of humans he risks his own safety in this comic to save the life of one of them and by the end the humans seem to have a new respect for the green skin goliath. The Chief Examiner while not a full bad guy still is going about getting help in his planets soon to be war all the wrong ways, not once does he even try to explain to the Hulk why he needs his power nor does he even tell the power house about his planets upcoming doom or asks if Hulk would come back and help. Plus it’s great when The Hulk pins Chief Examiner down with a giant stone and how easily in the alien’s mind he gave up and knew that the Hulk could kill him with one punch. The comic’s art is done by the amazing Mark Gruenwald and inked by John Romita Jr. making for one powerful team that turned in a great looking comic, and the cover is amazing and is also what’s used for the video game. So in this first issue Chief Examiner gets the power of the Hulk, and now who’s next on his hit list of stealing powers?

So in this first issue Chief Examiner gets the power of the Hulk, and now who’s next on his hit list of stealing powers? Let’s jump into issue two and see what he has planned for Spider-Man!

Questprobe # 2   **1/2
Released in 1985     Cover Price .75     Marvel Comics    #2 of 12

Spider-Man is feeling a little down in the dumps as the city is hot and he has a lot on his mind as his personal life is a mess. Meanwhile in prison, Quentin Beck comes up with a plan to escape so he can don his Mysterio outfit once more and challenge Spider-Man to a final fight! While on a distant planet the peaceful aliens watch as The Black Fleet conquers another planet and is heading their way, as Durgan also known as The Chief Examiner sets his sights now on steal/borrowing the power of Spider-Man to mix with that of the Hulk he already has taken. Tuskar is a student of Durgan and wants to find his old teacher and see if he can help as it’s shown the Black Fleet really just wants the Red Bio-Gem’s cause when put together they hold massive power, and the kicker are the Gems are alive and are kind of evil! Mysterio shows up to the Daily Bugle and holds everyone hostage as Spider-Man shows up to save them and the two fight it out, all the while Mysterio is using cheap and dirty FX inspired tricks on his foe. The Chief Examiner shows up and tries to get Spidey to go through his portal but web-head thinks that Examiner is just a costume change for Mysterio as they both wear domes over their faces, in the end Spider-Man figures out they are not the same person and is forced to dive into Examiner’s portal to escape an attack by Mysterio that leaves our hero weak, and just as Mysterio is to finish off Spider-Man the Red Bio-Gem uses its power to make The Chief Examiner try and steal the power of Mysterio given Spider-Man some breath time and getting his energy back to beat Mysterio and watch as The Chief Examiner disappears.

This issue is a good one and is a fun story to break up the normal story line that was going on in the main Spider-Man comic series at the time, but I will also say that it almost feels as if the writers of this issue in this mini series didn’t talk to the ones who made issue # 1. Because now I am not 100% sure if Durgan is The Chief Examiner or if the Red Bio-Gem on his planet is, as both seem to be in control of the dome headed power stealing loony. The Chief Examiner seems to be a little more polite in this issue and less forceful in making Spider-Man get into his portal than he was with The Hulk, but in this one he seems to be almost a ghost as nothing is under the robe making me scratch my head to as how then in issue # 1 Hulk was able to pin him to the ground and make him fear for his life. I kind of am so-so with the idea of the Red Power-Gems being alive and having the Energy Eggs around them as a way to keep them in line.  Yep, if the egg feels they are in danger it blows up killing the gem and it’s power. Spider-Man is as he was in the 80’s, filled with one liners and drama with girlfriends, but I wouldn’t want the web slinger any other way. Mysterio was the perfect  bad guy to use in this issue as he does look a lot like The Chief Examiner making for Spider-Man to have an almost “Who’s On First” kind of moments as he jumps from room to room. We will have to see what Tuskar is all about and if he will play out as a major player in the next issue. The art is by Al Milgrom and has that 70’s style Spider-Man appeal, the cover as well is just taken from the video games cover box. One smart move they did in this issue is they ask the question want to see what happened to Spider-Man’s power once he entered the portal, cause if you do go buy the game! Over all a good issue two that sadly leads us to the final issue in what was to be a 12 issue mini series.

So The Chief Examiner has collected the powers of The Hulk and Spider-Man but can he now get the powers of members of the Fantastic Four? Lets read issue # 3 and find out!

Questprobe # 3   **1/2
Released in 1985     Cover Price .75     Marvel Comics    #3 of 12

Johnny Storm and his blind girlfriend Alicia Masters return to the Baxter Building the base of The Fantastic Four to retrieve some books but while their they get a visit from The Chief Examiner who wants Storm’s powers! Johnny Storm flames on and turns into The Human Torch just in time to fight some robots that are being controlled by The Examiner who has taken over all of the electronics in the Baxter Building. After destroying many of the robots Human Torch is sprayed with water and tuned back into Johnny Storm and he and Alicia try and escape as The Chief Examiner still is forceful that Torch goes through is portal so he can have his power! Johnny and Alicia get onto a secret elevator to try and escape and give Johnny time to dry off to become Human Torch again, meanwhile She-Hulk has returned home from grocery shopping and rushes to Johnny’s aid as The Chief Examiner forces them out of the Elevator he uses a fantasticar to try and kill She-Hulk who knocks it away and it bounces off the wall and heads towards Alicia Masters and Human Torch rushes to save her from being crushed just as The Chief Examiner places his portal in front of them tricking him into going through and stealing the power of the Human Torch and poof he’s gone and they are all safe.  The Power-Gem during this time also overhears that Durgan wants the help of Tuskar to gain more superpowers and to stop the Black Fleet. The Chief Examiner then pops up onto the alien planet that The Thing is on after the events of the Secret Wars and uses a twisted version of The Baxter Building to trick him into going through the portal and stealing his power.

This third issue is good but not nearly as good as the first two issues in the series and almost seems like a filler issue that has a touch of rush feeling. The first target is The Human Torch who The Chief Examiner tricks into getting into the portal by placing it between him and Alicia who was in danger, his intent to kill She-Hulk shows that the character is really at odds with being controlled by The Power Gem who is starting to really be the main villain of the series. It’s clear that The Human Torch is the main focus hero of this issue as the second target The Thing’s brief moments at the end of the issue is kind of a waste and not nearly as interesting as all the others who have been tricked before him. Weird enough as well is the fact the main story of Durgan also seems to be a second thought in the issue, making this one that’s kind of bland to talk about so lets just go ahead and wrap it up shall we. I will also say its odd that The Chief Examiner didn’t want to try and steal the powers of She-Hulk instead his first thought is to try and kill her, I am sure her power on top of Hulks and The Things would make him even more powerful and a force to be reckoned with.  This issues art is done by Ron Wilson and is clearly a Fantastic Four style art. Cover is like the game same as the others and I must say while again a fun read it was also very lackluster and lost the “epic adventure” feel that the other two issues had.

It’s truly a shame that this mini series and video game series was cut so short as they had so many more Marvel heroes that could have been made into both.  Just imagine this series continuing not only with the already planned X-Men but also Captain America, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, Doctor Strange, Iron Man and Thor to name a few. I truly feel that Marvel let all the fans down of the comic mini series and the video game series by just stopping the story arch before anything was really settled. But I guess that truly was the Marvel way just stop production on series without a second thought about their fans. So next month is September, and it will be the kick off to Rotten Ink’s second Halloween update that will go up on October 31^{st. F}or those who remember last year we took a look at comics based on Hammer Horror films well this year will be a little different and something I am super happy to bring all you friends and readers. But our next update will be a secret but I will drop you a giant hint when I say he hates New York! So until then think about it, plus play a video game and read a comic or two.

The Lost And Found Frankenstein Monster

Hollywood has lost many films that could never see the light of day again.  Some have just been misplaced, and some have been lost to vault fires and neglect. But every once in a while, when a blue moon is in the sky, and the stars align just right, a “lost” film is found like 1922’s Nosferatu.  It had one print survive after all others were destroyed over copyright issues with the widow of Bram Stoker.  But many others stay lost like the Lon Chaney Sr. vampire mystery horror film, London After Midnight. One film that has been found by a private collector named Alois F. Dettlaff when he bought it from his mother-in-law in the 1950’s and later in the 1970’s was made known, is the 1910 version of Frankenstein made by Edison Studios. This “lost” film was like a Holy Grail for fans of the classic monsters, and many people wanted to see just what the first Frankenstein film was like, and with some film stills being around before the film was found, this just fueled the fire of fans wanting to get their hands on a copy to watch. The look of the Monster is not what most think of when the monster pops in your head.  He has no bolts from his neck, no black suit and no flat top head. Instead we have a Monster with wild hair, a crunched up creepy face, and he wears rags. Plus finding out that this 1910 Monster’s origin has him made in a vat of chemicals, not lightning, changes the image and style that we all grew up with. The first time I ever saw this version of the Monster was in the CrestWood House Monster Series Frankenstein book, and I was transfixed by the strange look of the Monster and how his hair almost made him look beast like. I always wanted to see the film to see just how the Monster acted and so that I could compare him to the classic Universal version. Below are some pictures of the Monster from the 1910 film.  I would like for you to take a moment and just look at this creepy guy, and pretend that you first saw this film in 1910 when it was made.  I want you to ask yourself, would you have been scared to sleep that night?

As I said, the Monster himself was a odd looking creature and looked like a misshaped beast with a sinister look in his eyes and a twisted snarl for a smile. The actor who played this part was Charles Ogle, a character actor who went on to be in over 300 films of the silent era and played such characters as Long John Silver (Treasure Island, 1920), Bob Cratchit (A Christmas Carol in 1910) and a doctor in the 1923 version of The Ten Commandments. In the version of Treasure Island, he got to work alongside the master of silent film Lon Chaney Sr. This is a cool thing when you break down what both had done for the world of horror! Ogle worked in films from 1910 to 1926 and sadly passed away in 1940 from arteriosclerosis at the age of 75. While he is not as well known as Boris Karloff and while his version of Frankenstein’s Monster is not as iconic, it still remains that Charles Ogle was one of the first actors to play the part and scared the life out of those who saw the film at the time.  So here is to you, Charles Ogle, for being one of film’s first actors of fright! Oh I should also say that he is an Ohio boy like myself as he was born in Steubenville.

The part of Elizabeth was played by the lovely Mary Fuller who was a stage actress and a very popular one at that. Her first major film role came in the 1910 Frankenstein film that helped launch her career as an actress and later as a screen writer. For a time she was one of the most popular silent film actresses just behind Mary Pickford, but her ride came to an end in 1917 when her last couple of films did not bring in the money the studios wanted.  She became a free agent when her studio contract expired.  She was offered stage work again on Broadway but turned it down and disappeared from the public eye for almost a decade. After her film career had ended and her attempt at a relationship with an opera singer (who was already married), she had a nervous breakdown and spent time trying to get better and get her life back on track. In 1926 she tried to make a comeback in Hollywood, and it was a failed attempt.  She felt alone and always felt as if she had a void that could not be filled.  When her mother passed away in 1940, she suffered her second breakdown that had her sister having to watch over her until 1947 when she was taken to St. Elizabeth Hospital, a psychiatric hospital in Washington were she would remain for 25 years until her death in 1973 at the age of 85. Her sad tale doesn’t end there.  On her passing, no relatives could be found, and she was buried in an unmarked grave at a local cemetery. Mary Fuller was a talented actress with a sad and tragic life, but her work in films will live on and keep her memory alive. This update is for you, Mary, may you rest in peace and find happiness you were looking for.

With a film of this age, merchandise was not even thought of.  No one in 1910 walked around with their Frankenstein t-shirt carrying a Frankenstein mug filled with hot coco thinking about going home and playing their Frankenstein video game…it just didn’t happen. But over time, with the film gaining a cult status and having the “lost” film mystique, merchandise was unavoidable! Masks, models and shirts were made as well as toys! One of the toys that was found everywhere for awhile was made by Mezco as part of their Silent Screamers line, and while a cool figure, it looked NOTHING like Ogle as the Monster. Another cool item that has sprung up is the film’s soundtrack done by Life Toward Twilight.  It’s a very well done score with just the right amount of mood and brood to chill one’s bones. So if you’re a fan, there is stuff out there for you to buy and enjoy.

My brother was attending Sinclair, a local Ohio community college, and was taking a class alongside my friend Josh Weinberg about the History of Horror Films.  The early horror film class was taught by Rick Martin, owner of RMM Agency and manager of Horror Host Dr. Creep, while the modern classes were taught by Andy Copp, a local film and TV director. While in Rick’s class, Bryan and Josh were able to see the 1910 Frankenstein as Rick showed it to his class as a part of horror history. I was so jealous when I heard this and so wanted to see it! Flash forward some years later to when I was working a table with Andy Copp at Cinema Wasteland, a Horror Convention in Strongsville, Ohio near Cleveland.  All over the convention show room were flyers for the official DVD release of the Edison Frankenstein film.  It was paired with the 1922 film Nosferatu and called “Movies First Monsters: Back to Back,” and the dvd was $20.00. I rushed to the booth that was said to have had it, and to my shock and horror, it was sold out.  The DVD was so in demand that it was gone the first day of sales. I was so bummed, and Andy tried to keep my spirits up saying that we would be back next year and that I could try and get one then.  While his words were wise and true, I still went home DVDless. By the next Cinema Wasteland, I rushed to the booth and got a copy the first day and felt like I was on top of the world. When I got home, the 16 minute film was the first thing I watched and I loved it.  In fact, I rushed and did a review for Bloodline Video and gave it 5 out of 5 stars on the site! This is one of those films that makes you truly glad that some private collector found it and released it so the masses can enjoy a piece of horror film history. If you have not seen it and are a film buff and a horror film fan, then do yourself a favor and watch it.

The people behind the ownership of this film had an amazing idea when they turned the 16 minute film into a 40 page comic book that holds the thrills and chills of the movie. Remember I grade these comics on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, and its art and story. So let’s get the chemical vat ready and build ourselves a comic review of Edison’s Frankenstein 1910.  

Edison’s Frankenstein 1910   ***1/2
Released in 2003   Cover Price $7.95   Comic Library International   #1 of 1

Frankenstein is sitting in his study writing in his journal to his future children so that they can learn from his mistake.  You see, in his youth he wanted to learn the secrets of life and death and while away at medical school he grows tired of what he thinks is just close minded teaching and decides to drop out and conduct his own experiment to create the perfect human. In his quest to make a man, he takes elements from science, black magic, alchemy and even his own flesh and blood and mixes them in a chemical vat and watches in horror as his man comes to life.  But instead of a perfect man, he has made a monster, a twisted foul thing that looks straight from the pits of hell! The Monster’s sight tormented Frankenstein who was set to be married to his true love Elizabeth.  Even this joy is being taken away as The Monster wants his soon to be wife for his own.  When Frankenstein refuses and lies to The Monster, it goes in a rage and attacks its creator! The only thing that saves him is when the Monster gets a look at himself in the mirror and its own sight saddens it and causes him to flee into the night. The Monster returns on Frankenstein’s wedding night and attacks his bride Elizabeth.  This causes a huge fight between the Monster and its creator that leaves The Monster trapped inside a mirror and Frankenstein begging for forgiveness from God, his wife and The Monster! In the end Frankenstein lives happily with his wife, and The Monster is nothing now but a terrible memory.

This comic is pretty much just a more detailed version of the film and is what a comic adaptation should be! The film is told via the words of Frankenstein’s diary and this helps preserve the silent film feel and helps add to the raw emotion of his horrific experience. Victor Frankenstein is a likable guy in this comic, and while at one point his ego to create man takes over his soul, it’s the fact he knows he did wrong and wants to fix it when he see’s the terrible monster he has made. The Monster is a mean spirited evil twisted person who loves to frighten and push around Frankenstein because he can. The fact that The Monster wants to take and do foul things to Frankenstein’s wife shows just how untrustworthy this “man” is. The symbolism of the Monster being trapped in the mirror, and Victor looking at his own reflection and seeing the Monster is a nice way to show that we all have a monster in us and only when we take notice of this will we learn to control it. The comic is 40 pages long, and the rest of the issue is filled with some bios of those involved in making the film as well as the comic. The art of Robb Bihun is simply amazing and his drawings of The Monster are top notch horror comic stuff.  In fact, his style reminds me slightly of the artwork of Bernie Wrightson who did top notch Frankenstein art in 1983. This is a great read, and I would recommend it to those who love Frankenstein and his Monster.  I would also suggest giving it a read while you listen to the score done by Life Toward Twilight! 

I have loved the story and films based on The Frankenstein Monster for as long as I can remember and reading this well made comic was one of the highlights of doing this blog so far.  That is why the next update is going to be another A-Lister as I take a look at the one and only Return Of The Werewolf two issue comic series based on the Paul Naschy werewolf films! You long time readers will remember that I talked about this comic during the Dark Horse Pumpkinhead comic review, and thanks to some friends, I was able to get my hands on copies and will take a look not only at the comics but also the films that inspired the comic…so be here next update for a howling good time! Until then don’t create a monster and don’t go out in a full moon, and enjoy an episode of your local horror host and read a comic or three!

Horror Host Icon : Commander USA

Growing up a strange kid was a very fun way to live life. I was able to be me and not worry about what others thought of me, and I must say all my fellow classmates in Waynesville were all very cool kids and no one thought it was weird that I drew pictures of Satan, demons and monsters all the time. In fact, I can only remember one teacher ever really being an ass, and his name didn’t even stick with me because he was a piss poor teacher who was younger than the rest and walked around like he was the man when really he was a dud.  He was a computer teacher and he gave me crap for writing about Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th) and The Toxic Avenger.

Waynesville was a good time and was way better than the second time I had to go to Kettering Schools who had many teachers who targeted me for being “satanic” in their eyes. Many things helped make me the person I am today and have lead to all the cool creative things I do from no budget films with companies like Independent B Movie and Bloodline Video, to the TV show Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre, to music concerts at local venue Gilly’s to even my early made comics of Benny The Squirrel and Robo-Racoon that were drawn with colored pencils. Of course my Mom and Dad played a big part in it, as they never discouraged me from being myself and even my brother Bryan played a big part of just helping my mind work with all his fake wrestling leagues and such. But of course entertainment also played a big part in warping me.  Things like pro wrestling with all the amazing characters like Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, video games on the NES with all the high adventure, Universal Monster movies with all the classic scares and horror hosts that brought me doses of comedy mixed in with my horror. The hometown Dayton area host was Dr. Creep, a lovable character who hosted Shock Theatre and later Saturday Night Dead.  While he played a part in my life at the time but more so later on, it was one horror host that aired on cable TV on USA Network that truly was an icon to me and a guy me and my brother tried never to miss.  You long time readers know who I am talking about..that’s right, the one and only Commander USA who hosted his Groovie Movies Saturdays and later on Sundays.

Commander USA’s Groovie Movies started airing in 1985 and would show two horror or cult type films on the USA Network. Commander USA is a retired super hero whose secret headquarters (The Video Vault) is located in the basement of a shopping mall in New Jersey and with his Heat And Radiation Screen That Protected Tel-Psychotronic Screen he would watch the film alongside us as well as his best friend and sidekick Lefty (his hand with cigar ash on it) or some other guest. Commander was part of the Legion of Decency and is a fan of all the cheesy goodness he shows and took pride in presenting the movie along side showing us how to make a mid-movie snack that was some gross mix of food that should not go together.

Groovie Movies would come on Saturday at noon and was the perfect follow up to the major networks’ cartoon blocks.  This was the perfect thing for Monster Kids of the 80’s like myself as later that night USA Network would have Saturday Nightmares that consisted of a horror film and shows like The Hitchhiker and Alfred Hitchcock Presents.  Then after that, USA Up All Night would come on with host Gilbert Gottfried, making this the perfect station to watch on Saturdays. Commander USA would switch to showing one film and later even moved to Sundays before sadly going off the air in 1989. Commander USA was the first host that drew me 100% in and really helped spark my interest in slasher films and low budget horror flicks.  His style of hosting is what I would consider the best as he would have a storyline that would run through out the episode, and you would feel as if he was watching the film with you, the sign of a good solid host. Commander USA made the odd little kid me feel as if I was normal and that many of people out in the world liked the same things as I did. I know my brother and I have a lot in common, and I would almost guarantee that he would also say that Commander USA had an impact of his young life. Something about sitting down and eating lunch or a snack and watching Commander USA host films like Frankenstein And The Monster From Hell, Friday The 13^th Part III and Aztec Mummy are magical moments that some day I hope future kids of mine will share with their favorite horror host.

Jim Hendricks was the actor who played Commander USA, and he was a former radio DJ and theater performer. His other acting gigs include bit parts in Law And Order: Special Victims Unit, Brutal Fury and a cameos as Commander USA in the Christmas film classic Scrooged and pool shark film The Color Of Money. While not a household name, Jim Hendricks will always be one of my favorite actors of all time for his role of being the Commander. I should also note that Jim Hendricks is talked to in the horror host documentary American Scary, a film every fan of hosting should watch.

Commander USA is a character who has a very blue collar super hero look.  Commander wears a tight red body suit with USA logo on his chest, star suspenders, blue baggy shorts and a polka dotted cape. He also always has a cigar, and his mask is blue grease paint painted around his eyes. As I stated back in my “Top 10 Should Have Been Star Comics,” Commander USA should have been made into a comic book series because I would have been a buyer of every issue. In fact I would love to see a comic series made even now about the adventures of Commander, and I know of a few comic artist that would be perfect for that job! Below is some artwork done by two of my friends, Eric Shonborn and Bruce O’Hughes, as well as an art piece I found online.  All are different in style, and all are amazing in their own way. So make sure to take a look at these amazing drawings.

Commander USA was joined by all types of guests from vampires to mall shoppers, but only really had two co-hosts/sidekicks that appeared in almost every episode. The most popular was Lefty, his right hand with a smiley face drawn on with cigar ash.  Lefty was a strong willed hand puppet who had a mind of his own. Lefty was his righthand man and was always around to help out the Commander in whatever silly thing that was going on. The second sidekick was Monroe, a mounted stuffed deer head who made weird noises and would always hold the Commanders coat, and sometimes he would have some ideas for The Commander to try. So I had to give both of these great sidekicks a shout out, and I can remember loving Monroe when I was a young lad. So this update is not only for Commander USA, the fans but it’s for Lefty and Monroe as well!

1989 was a dark year as it marked the end of the Groovie Movies and was a sad time to be had by all.  While we still had USA Up All Night and USA Saturday Nightmares, the Video Vault was closed for good and and reruns were not in the cards. For the following years, I was able to get my cheesy horror flicks fix via other horror host shows, cable TV like HBO and renting VHS tapes from the library and video stores.  While they were all fun ways to discover and relive the horrors of the movies, they were all still lacking Commander USA. I kicked myself for never recording the episodes on Beta or VHS, but the younger me was to busy taping Godzilla films and cartoons. Over the years my brother was able to track down some copies of Groovie Movies on VHS and burned them onto DVD-R’s, and we were both able to relive our youth and be reunited with Commanders wisecracks and silly jokes. We both spent time tracking down episodes and trading them to each other, and now I own a large amount of these episodes and even still to this day am inspired by Commander USA who is my favorite horror host of all time. One episode that I have been looking for is the one where he hosted the 1973 Hammer Horror film “Frankenstein And The Monster From Hell.” This was the only episode that for the first few times he showed it, my Mom would not allow us to watch cause it had the word “hell” in it! So if you have a copy of this episode or any episode of the Commander, please get in contact with me because I would love to get a copy!

So on this update I am going to take a look at some of the episodes I own of Commander USA, and I am going to tell you what the film is and what he does in each of these episodes.  So be ready to go back to the past when the USA Network was the top cable station to me and my brother.

Before I get into these episodes I should explain a few things, like first what is a Groovie Movie?  After growing up watching this show, I can give you a run down: it’s the following type of films, classic horror, cheesy horror, Mexican horror, fantasy, low budget action, slashers, goofy comedy, low budget horror, sci-fi and kung fu films. Now on each episode that I review, I will break down the host segments as well as give a brief write up for each film he is hosting.  The film write ups I will get off IMDB, and the hosts ones I will write myself. I will also give the names of two actors in the film as well as its rating and year of release. I will not be doing my comic 1-4 star ratings for these episodes because I have such a soft spot for all these episodes that the ratings would all be high! I will also review them in alphabetical order to make it easier. I want to also credit Stumpy Disk for the cover design idea. But now that I gave you a little more info, let’s get ready to enter the Video Vault.

Groovie Movies: Abominable Snowman
Starring – Peter Cushing & Forrest Tucker   Not Rated   1957

Host: It’s a heat wave in New Jersey, and Commander is happy to be in the Video Vault and wants to do summer activities indoors! He makes boats out of snack food and sails them in a bowl of water.  He butchers “fresh” fish and plays a game of fish ball where you play bad mitten with fish heads, makes a slime zoo, opens his own cloths fashions and just enjoys the cool air in the Vault.

Movie: A kindly English botanist and a gruff American scientist lead an expedition to the Himalayas in search of the legendary Yeti.

Groovie Movies: The Alligator People
Starring – Beverly Garland & Lon Chaney Jr.   Not Rated   1959

Host: It’s Halloween time, and the Video Vault is set up for the first ever Groovie Movie Halloween Party and guests include Lefty and Angela The Alligator. He also gets a visit from a zombie who brings him a voodoo doll that looks just like Commander.  He helps Dorothy escape a evil witch, makes some snacks, gets a visit from a vampire and just has a blast at his party as other ghouls and goblins come to party.

Movie: A newlywed couple sit in a train. The husband receives a frantic telegram. He gets off at a station to make a phone call, the train pulls away without him on it, and that’s the last his wife sees of him. Years later after a long search she finally tracks him down on his family’s southern estate where she discovers that a failed medical treatment has turned him into an alligator mutant.

Groovie Movies: An American Werewolf In London
Starring – David Naughton & Jenny Agutter  Rated R   1981

Host: It’s New Years Eve, and Commander USA is going to have a pub party in The Video Vault and has some guest to help that come all the way from England in honor of the days film. In the end of course, he spends the party just with the help as no one else comes, but he has a blast with his new friends.

Movie: Two American college students are on a walking tour of Britain and are attacked by a werewolf. One is killed, the other is mauled. The werewolf is killed but reverts to its human form, and the local townspeople are unwilling to acknowledge its existence. The surviving student begins to have nightmares of hunting on four feet at first but then finds that his friend and other recent victims appear to him, demanding that he commit suicide to release them from their curse, being trapped between worlds because of their unnatural deaths.

Groovie Movies: Beast From 20,000 Fathoms
Starring – Lee Van Cleef & Paul Hubschmid    Not Rated    1953

Host: The nights film is one of Lefty’s favorite films and for the showing Lefty makes a reptile dude ranch play set! Tourists pour in to see the ranch and Commander orders and receives his very own Dinosaur who just so happens to be way to large for the miniature ranch as Monroe opens up a souvenir shop to help out at the attraction. Commander gets a little hungry and makes his own weird ice cream thats made with cheese in a can, cake frosting, avocado and ketchup, and when that don’t work he makes yet another gross snack. The Dinosaur escapes into the mall and Commander and Lefty must travel above to stop it’s rampage.

Movie: As a result of an arctic nuclear test, a carnivorous dinosaur thaws out and starts making its way down the east coast of North America. Professor Tom Nesbitt, only witness to the beast’s existence, is not believed, even when he identifies it as a “rhedosaurus” to paleontologist Thurgood Elson. All doubts disappear, however, when Elson is swallowed whole during an oceanic bathysphere excursion to search for the creature. Soon thereafter the rhedosaurus emerges from the sea and lays waste to Manhattan Island until Nesbitt comes up with a plan to try to stop the seemingly indestructible beast.

Groovie Movies: Beginning Of The End
Starring – Peter Graves & Peggie Castle   Not Rated   1957

Host: Some one has entered the Video Vault has has stolen Commander USA’s Headcheese Tarts, and now Commander and Lefty break out a Sherlock Holmes dress up kit and are on the case to find his missing snacks. His prime suspect is Rose Rosewood whom has teamed with one of his rouges gallery before, but is she the snack thief and will ge get his tarts back in time to enter the malls headcheese bake off?

Movie: Audrey Ames, an enterprising journalist, tries to get the scoop on giant grasshoppers accidentally created at the Illinois State experimental farm. She endeavors to save Chicago, despite a military cover-up.

Groovie Movies: The Blade Master
Starring – Miles O’Keeffe & Lisa Foster   Rated PG   1984

Host: Commander USA brings his two prehistoric friends Fred and Wilma Fieldstone to the Video Vault to watch the days film. During this time Fred and Wilma dance around, eat a meal made of hearts, give buckets of blood to the blood drive and Wilma tries to help Commander sale a book based on the wise words given by one of the films characters. Commander also gets his mail delivered by a Wizard who he thinks looks like the wizard from the movie!

Movie: In this sequel, the Fighting Eagle returns. This time he must save a former mentor from the evil Zor. Ator battles cavemen, invisible swordsmen, and barbarians with his new sidekick Thong to finally have the ultimate showdown with Zor.

Groovie Movies: The Blood Beast Terror
Starring – Peter Cushing & Robert Flemyng   Rated G   1968

Host: In this episode Commander USA tells of a monster concert in Japan and the crazy shopping sales going on in the mall above as he is joined by a strange man who is a entomologist (studies bugs) who is trying to capture a very large butterfly, the man is annoying and keeps walking around with his net and being an over all pain and even with the help of Lefty he seems to not be able to run this unwanted guest off. The Commander is also visited by weird bug girls who flap around the video vault and once the entomologist uses his net on one of them, he pushes the Commander to far who frees the bug girl and drops a net on the entomologist!

Movie: A scientist, working with genetics, creates a creature that is capable of transforming back and forth between a giant Death Head moth and a beautiful woman. The creature masquerades as his daughter when she is in her human incarnation and feeds on the blood of her victims when she is in the moth form.

Groovie Movies: Blood Song
Starring – Frankie Avalon & Donna Wilkes    Not Rated     1982

Host: Commander USA is gearing up for St. Patricks Day and is making all kinds of green colored food from roast beef to mashed potatoes as well as costumes like the Map of Ireland hockey mask. Commander also changes up his look with a green mask and shamrock suspenders in honor of the holiday. He also cleans up around the Video Vault and Monroe is also dressed up all in green gearing up for the Holiday. Commander shows us a Irish Game called Potato Toss where he throws a potato into the air and shoots it with a machine gun as well gives us silly none true facts about Saint Patrick!

Movie: A psychopath escapes from a mental institution and starts a murder spree, which ends in the pursuing of a young handicapped girl, who once got a blood transfusion from him.

Groovie Movies:  The Brood
Starring – Oliver Reed & Samantha Eggar   Rated R   1979

Host: Commander USA in honor the the movie brings a crazy psychiatrist to the Video Vault named Fraud who comes complete with a straight jacket. The man is a quack and gets a crush on Monroe and speaks gibberish to Commander who seems to be in on the joke that this man is nuts. And in the end the Nut House comes looking for him. 

Movie:A man tries to uncover an unconventional psychologist’s therapy techniques on his institutionalized wife, while a series of brutal attacks committed by a brood of mutant children coincides with the husband’s investigation.

Groovie Movies:  C.H.U.D.
Starring – John Heard & Daniel Stern    Rated R     1984

Host: Monroe has won the lottery, and Lefty is writing a bunch of short stories with Commander helping with the proof reading and typing of the stories. Lefty then decides to become an investigative reporter!

Movie: A rash of bizarre murders in New York City seems to point to a group of grotesquely deformed vagrants living in the sewers. A courageous policeman, a photo journalist and his girlfriend, and a nutty bum, who seems to know a lot about the creatures, band together to try and determine what the creatures are and how to stop them.

Groovie Movies:  Death Of Bruce Lee
Starring – Ron Van Clief & Phillip Ko   Rated R   1975

Host: Ralph Headwards shows up to the Video Vault and is doing a “This Is Your Life” for Commander USA! But the big issue is that the Commander does know some of the people from his “past” or they are stand ins for people he knows and some he just doesn’t want to remember!

Movie: Three rival gangs embark on a search for Bruce Lee’s handwritten “finger gifting” manual.

Groovie Movies: Deathquake
Starring – Hiroshi Katsuno & Eiji Okada   Not Rated   1980

Host: The Commander is pretty excited to be showing Deathquake and due to all the fright and sub plots of the film, he invites a woman named Sheare Fryte who is an expert in these things and wrote a book called The Fryte Report.  However while he was thinking she was a sweet woman, he soon finds out the she is a very mean diva who hates men!

Movie: Seismologist Hoichi loses touch with his family when he predicts that there will be an earthquake in Tokyo of greater magnitude than the one in 1923, which his father predicted. Because of this, he starts seeing another woman, who already has a boyfriend. Hoichi’s wife wants to meet her before she will grant a divorce. Eventually, the earthquake he predicted does come, which changes all relationships and exemplifies the character of the Japanese.

Groovie Movies:  Def-Con 4
Starring – John Walsch & Lenore Zann     Rated R     1985

Host: In honor of the day’s film and its scenes of space, Commander USA signs up to go to Space Camp that also acts as a Trailer Park! The camp sends a spaced out female councilor to help him get ready by the name of Astral Plane.  Can she help prepare Commander and will Space Camp even happen after a meteor shower?

Movie: Two men and a woman circle the globe in a satellite armed with a nuclear device. The third world war breaks out, and a few months later the satellite crashes. They survive the crash but one man gets killed by survivors and the other man gets caught. The woman stays by the remains of the the satellite but is soon caught by evil punks who have taken power.

Groovie Movies:  The Devil’s Nightmare
Starring – Erika Blanc & Daniel Emilfork    Rated R    1971

Host: Commander USA decides that in this episode he is going to analyze dreams and nightmares and spends time watching the movie along with you, giving his thoughts during his breaks.

Movie: Six of seven tourists in a east European castle overnight are victims of a helper of the devil. Is Satan willing to spare their souls?

Groovie Movies: Duel Of Ultimate Weapons
Starring – So-Jeon Yu & Hwang Jang Lee    Not Rated   1983

Host: Commander USA hangs around the Video Vault with his friend Debbie who is dressed as if she is from Japan, and together they watch the movie and eat and make a lot of snacks!

Movie: The evil Dong Won has unbeatable kicking legs and proudly travels the land proving his expertise. But when a young man loses his foster parent to Won’s deadly kick, he seeks out an old drunken master to learn a way to defeat the Master of the Leg.

Groovie Movies: The Final Terror
Starring – Daryl Hannah & Adrian Zmed   Rated R   1983

Host: As part of a super hero group he has joined, Commander USA is allowing one lucky camper to spend the day camping inside inside the Video Vault! That lucky camper is a rich fun loving woman named Pearl who seems to be hyped to be camping in the Video Vault.

Movie: A group of forest rangers go camping in the woods, and trespass into an area where a backwoods mama likes to kill people who come onto her turf.

Groovie Movies: Friday The 13^th Part 2
Starring – Amy Steel & John Furey    Rated R    1981

Host: In the Video Vault, Commander USA gives some camp safety tips like the buddy system and plans a trip to Washington D.C.! He also practices his acting skills that has him dancing with a fake bird and gives a silly daily joke.

Movie: After killing Mrs. Voorhees, who was avenging her son Jason’s death, Alice Hardy can finally sigh with relief. But there is just one problem; Jason never drowned at Camp Crystal Lake and lived in the nearby woods as a hermit all this time. The day that Alice beheaded his mother, Jason saw everything, and his heart filled with thirst for revenge. Two months later, Alice gets stabbed by an ice pick in the temple and disappears. Is Jason behind this? Five years later, a camp next do to Camp Crystal Lake is built and the counselors start snooping around the old, abandoned camp ruins. This makes Jason very upset, since his shack is next to the remains of Camp Crystal Lake and what is inside the shack shall be kept secret forever, even if it means killing nine people!

Groovie Movies: Friday The 13^th Part 3
Starring – Tracie Savage & Dana Kimmell   Rated R   1982

Host: Commander USA is hyped to be showing Friday The 13^th Part 3 and shows the viewers his new barber chair as well as the Merry Go-Around Wall and even does a recap of parts 1 and 2.  This is an epic showing for him as Friday The 13^th Part 3 was new to cable and aired only once before on USA Saturday Nightmares. The Commander has thrown out his back and is waiting for his friend who can fix it by having him lay on a bed of snails, and Commander just sits around the Video Vault reading mail and eating a snack and gets a visit from vampire Count Phantom. 

Movie: Jason Voorhees, having barely survived a wound to his shoulder from his own machete, is back to revenge on all that visit “his” woods. A new group of friends come over to party at an area close to the campsite. This time, Jason will be stronger than ever, and gets a hockey mask from one of those friends.

Groovie Movies: Gamera vs. Barugon
Starring – Kojiro Hongo & Yuka Konno    Not Rated   1966 

Host: Commander USA comes face to face with his second planet doppelganger, The Evil Commander, who does bad things and they decide to watch, the film together. The two fight over the film with Commander being on the side of Gamera and the film and Evil Commander just trashing it all and more siding with Barugon. In the end Commander USA uses a spray and rids himself of the Evil Doppelganger.

Movie: After a treacherous expedition to retrieve a giant opal, disaster strikes as the opal reveals itself to be an egg which spawns Barugon, demon dog from Hell! Armed with a deadly tongue and cold beams, Barugon wreaks havoc on Japan. Gamera comes to save the day.

Groovie Movies:  The Hand
Starring – Michael Cain & Charles Fleische   Rated R   1981

Host: Lefty feels like Commander USA is holding him back from movies and we learn that Lefty went to school with Michael Cain’s hand who is the star of this movie. So to make him feel better, Commander lets Lefty show his talents.  From stunts to music he does it all to catch an eye of a movie producer so that he can go work in Hollywood.

Movie: Jon Lansdale is a comic book artist who loses his right hand in a car accident. The hand was not found at the scene of the accident, but it soon returns by itself to follow Jon around, and murder those who anger him.

Groovie Movies: The Hearse
Starring – Trish Van Devere & Joseph Cotten    Rated PG    1980

Host: Commander USA has built a casket box car for the annual Dirt Box Derby and has asked for the help of a lazy mechanic named Backwrench to make sure it looks good and is built to win.  In between naps, Backwrench places all types of stuff the Commander doesn’t need on the coffin car and in the end his high bill might just keep the Commander from entering the race.

Movie: Jane Hardy decides to stay the summer in the house her aunt left her when she died, to try and recoup from a bad divorce. Little does she know, her aunt practiced witchcraft and is still thought of very badly by the town’s citizens. As soon as she moves in, she is haunted by a old black hearse and it’s creepy driver. Is she going insane or is she truly being menaced? She meets a friendly young man and becomes involved with him, but is he and the creepy driver one and the same?

Groovie Movies: Hercules II
Starring – Lou Ferrigno & Milly Carlucci   Rated PG   1985

Host: Commander USA is at Mel’s Mount Olympus Diner for this episode in honor of the day’s film. The worker Feta is a goofy joke telling girl and takes a break to watch the Groovie Movie along side the Commander. The diner sits on top of the mountain, and the clouds are all around as The Commander gets some of the worse service from the greek workers, but he still is having a blast! And then at some point during the episode Commander is working at the diner and helping out. In the end the diner is closed down by the Health Inspector. 

Movie: Hercules searches for the Seven Thunderbolts of Zeus, which have been stolen by renegade gods.

Groovie Movies: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Starring – Michael Berryman & John Bloom   Rated R   1984

Host: Commander USA has won a collage degree from Publishers Clearing House but must pass a test given to him by some very bored board of education members. Can Commander’s super quick wit and charm get him his degree? Of course it can, but the important question is what is he going to do with it when he gets it?

Movie: A group of bikers, which includes some of the survivors from the original film, embark on a journey by bus to a biker race near the desert of the infamous incidents. However, because of a mistake they are late and decide to take a shortcut through the desert. Halfway through the desert the bus breaks down. While trying to repair the bus, some of the group wander off, and wind up in the traps of the survivors of the mutant family of the first. Then the mutants go after the rest.

Groovie Movies:  Horror Of The Werewolf
Starring – Paul Naschy & Mercedes Molina    Rated R    1975

Host: When entering the Video Vault, Commander USA gets a “pentagram” message that asks if he would watch over his friend Lon’s pet named Chuck, but when the pet arrives he finds out that Chuck isn’t a dog or cat but a werewolf who is as rude as rude can be. Commander puts up with his friends rude guest for as long as the day’s movie and just as he is about to send word that Lon needs to pick up his annoying pet, Chuck turns back into human and is a pretty woman who ends up getting dinner with the Commander!

Movie: Waldemar, the renowned adventurer, joins an expedition to find the Yeti in the Himalayas. While hiking the mountains, he’s captured by two cannibalistic demon nymphets guarding a remote Buddhist temple and becomes their sex-slave. They transform him into a werewolf setting him loose to roam the mountain where he encounters a sadistic bandit.

Groovie Movies: Horror Of The Zombies
Starring – Maria Perschy & Jack Taylor    Rated R   1974

Host: Commander USA decides to have a zombie super model named Savannah Bright visit the Video Vault in the spirit of the day’s film, and she is able to give him modeling tips and show that zombies aren’t very bright!

Movie: The model Noemi questions her employer Lillian about her roommate Kathy that is missing after receiving a call from Lillian, and she tells that she will go to the police. Lilian explains that Kathy is in an afloat boat in the Atlantic with another model participating of a publicity stunt, and she brings Noemi to meet Howard Tucker and his henchman Sergio that have idealized the advertising campaign. Kathy uses the radio to report that a ghost galleon without crew has arrived and Tucker sends a helicopter to bring the models back; however the pilot does not find them at the location. Tucker contacts Professor Grüber that studies the Sixteen Century galleon and they use a boat to reach the ghost vessel with Sergio, Lillian and Noemi. Soon Professor Gruber learns that the damned galleon is stranded in another dimension and the crew is composed of excommunicated Templar zombies. Now they try to leave the galleon and return to their own dimension. Will they succeed in their intent?

Note from Matt: This film that is also known as “The Ghost Galleon” and is the third film in the Blind Dead series. When shown on Groovie Movies it goes under the title “Ship of Zombies”.

Groovie Movies: I Married A Monster From Outer Space
Starring – Tom Tryon & Gloria Talbott    Not Rated   1958

Host: A wedding consultant named Sally McBride shows up to the Video Vault and thinks that Commander USA is getting married because of the day’s Groovie Movie! Sally, like most of his guests tries to sell the viewers her books she wrote, and Commander makes some gross snack and has some random guests pop in! Sally then starts doing home improvements around the Vault and while she is annoying, the Commander lets her go crazy with repairs!

Movie: Aliens from outer space are slowly switching places with real humans — one of the first being a young man about to get married. Slowly, his new wife realizes something is wrong, and her suspicions are confirmed when her husband’s odd behavior begins to show up in other townspeople.

Groovie Movies: I Walked With A Zombie
Starring – James Ellison & Frances Dee     Not Rated    1943

Host: Monroe turns the Video Vault into a video watching night club, and as the guests pour in they are treated to the film of the day as well as other entertainment like a singing mermaid and a terrible stand up comic. The club is a hit, and all have fun in the Video Vault making Monroe’s idea a great one.

Movie: A young Canadian nurse named Betsy comes to the West Indies to care for Jessica, the wife of a plantation manager named Paul. Jessica seems to be suffering from a kind of mental paralysis as a result of fever. When she falls in love with Paul, Betsy determines to cure Jessica even if she needs to use a voodoo ceremony, to give Paul what she thinks he wants.

Groovie Movies: Infra-Man
Starring – Danny Lee & Terry Liu     Rated PG    1975

Host: Commander USA has just gotten back from a Super Hero Convention and has gotten himself a SHERA Machine (Sanitary Household Experimental Robot Assistant) to help him do all types of stuff including make more great headcheese snacks! The Video Vault also gets attacked by a Couch Potato who blows himself up turning into potato chips, and Lefty gets a girlfriend who only has one eye. In the end Commander puts $10.00 into the SHERA Machine, and poof! a woman appears who doesn’t wanna go on a date with him.

Movie: The ten million year-old Princess Dragon Mom attempts to conquer the earth with her legion of mutant monsters. In response, Professor Chang creates Infra-man, turning a young volunteer into a bionic superhero to save the world. However, the Princess kidnaps Chang’s daughter. Can Infra-man save her and the planet before it’s too late?

Groovie Movies: It’s Alive
Starring – John P. Ryan & Sharon Farrell     Rated PG    1974

Host: Commander USA gets a good idea after walking through the mall.  It’s inspired by the day’s movie as he turns the Video Vault into “It’s Alive Nursery” where busy Mall shoppers can drop of their kids and have Commander USA watch them as they continue to shop. He gets a client who drops off her two monster kids who during the movie eat the Milk Man and rip the arm off of a baby expert! In the end, he must wait for his payment of $14.95 via check.

Movie: Heavily pregnant Lenore Davis tells her husband, Frank, that she is in labor. They leave their eleven year-old son Chris with their friend Charley and they head to the Community Hospital. Lenore feels that something is wrong and delivers a monster that kills the team in the delivery room and escapes through a skylight. Lieutenant Perkins comes to the hospital to investigate the murder and the press divulges the identity of the parents. Frank discovers a dark secret about Lenore and the baby.

Groovie Movies:  Jaws Of Satan
Starring – Fritz Weaver & Christina Applegate     Rated R     1981

Host: Commander USA and Lefty get a make-your-own-radio-drama kit and decide to break into broadcasting and make their own old time radio show. Lefty writes a western drama called “Pa and Son” that is just plain bad, but Commander and him keep trying with many of attempts to make the show good.

Movie: A preacher whose ancestors were cursed by Druids battles Satan, who has taken the form of a huge snake.

Groovie Movies: Kingdom Of The Spiders
Starring – William Shatner & Tiffany Bolling     Rated PG    1977

Host: Commander USA’s plant has a fungus so he calls on Dr. Root for help, and decides to have her stay in the Video Vault and watch the film of the day. Dr. Root gives plant advice as well as tries to sell the viewers things that she made like books and even a board game, making her whole appearance nothing more than a way for her to sell her goods at the Commander’s expense.

Movie: Investigating the mysterious deaths of a number of farm animals, vet Rack Hansen discovers that his town lies in the path of hoards of migrating tarantulas. Before he can take action, the streets are overrun by killer spiders, trapping a small group of towns folk in a remote hotel.

Groovie Movies: Land Of The Minotaur
Starring – Donald Pleasence & Peter Cushing   Rated PG   1976

Host: Outside the Video Vault is a raging blizzard, and Commander USA decides to turn the Video Vault into an inn for shoppers who are stuck in the mall and gets the help of Tiffany, a crazy woman who has worked for many inns in the past! He also hires a dim witted handy man, George, and finds that during this time of extreme snow people just don’t wanna stay in The Video Vault!

Movie: A satanic cult that worships a stone Minotaur kidnaps 3 young people and Priest Father Corofax and Milo Kaye must save them from the hands of this evil!

Groovie Movies: Mako The Jaws Of Death
Starring – Richard Jaeckel & Jennifer Bishop   Rated PG   1976

Host: Commander USA is having a tribute to Richard Jaeckel the star of the day’s film.  He even sets up a camera in the mall and has shoppers give their opinions of Jaeckel and his work. He also has Dr. Moist Brothers come in, and she talks about Jaeckel and the relationship with fish, and of course tries to promote her new book on the subject. Everything in the episode is in honor of Jaeckel!

Movie: A man accidentally learns that he has a mystical connection with sharks, and is given a strange medallion by a shaman. Becoming more and more alienated from normal society, he develops an ability to communicate with sharks telepathically, setting out to destroy anybody who harms sharks. People enter into his strange world to exploit his weird passion, and he uses the animals to gain revenge on anybody who double crosses him.

Groovie Movies: Mausoleum
Starring – Bobbie Bresee & Marjoe Gortner   Rated R   1983

Host: A worker at the mall’s morgue comes down and asks to store some dead bodies at the Video Vault, and the Commander allows it. Some of the morgue workers and other odd balls come down to work on the bodies or try and sell something as Commander is creeped out by the day’s movie. But once the bodies begin to stink, it’s time for Commander to want them out of the Vault.

Movie: Traumatized by her mother’s death, young Susan is becoming possessed by the same demon that possessed her mother before she died. More and more her husband and psychiatrist are noticing the strange changes.

Groovie Movies: Motel Hell
Starring – Rory Calhoun & Paul Linke     Rated R    1980

Host: The Video Vault is now being used as a set for a Hollywood film called “Attack of the 50 Foot Cheesecake Girl,” and Commander USA will be the star and Mr. Grill is the director! During the movie Commander is reading his lines and meeting the crew, and he gets a shock when he finds out his co-star is Elizabeth Trailer famous z-movie star! In the end, Commander finds out he is not the star of the film likes he thinks and his big kiss scene with Trailer is scrapped, making the Commander see that he should not trust Hollywood.

Movie: Farmer Vincent kidnaps unsuspecting travelers and is burying them in his garden. Unfortunately for his victims, they are not dead. He feeds his victims to prepare them for his roadside stand. His motto is: It takes all kinds of critters…to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters. The movie is gory, but is also a parody of slasher movies like Last House on the Left.

Groovie Movies: Night Of The Creeps
Starring – Jason Lively & Tom Atkins   Rated R   1986

Host: Commander USA has allowed a sorority house on a tight budget to hold their prom in the Video Vault for only $14.95 for the night. Commander USA watches the film with the decorating crew and helps decorate along the way. In the end only one of the girls’ dates show up to prom, and he is just a brain in a glass bowl so Commander takes all the ladies out for an all you can eat dinner.

Movie: In 1959, an alien experiment crashes to earth and infects a fraternity member. They freeze the body, but in the modern day, two geeks pledging a fraternity accidentally thaw the corpse, which proceeds to infect the campus with parasites that transform their hosts into killer zombies.

Groovie Movies: Pandemonium
Starring – Tom Smothers & Judge Reinhold    Rated PG   1982

Host: Commander USA is being visited by Leo and Cleo, a pair of paparazzi junkies who take pictures of celebrities and Lefty! The pair is also on the run from someone in the mall and use the Video Vault to hideout in.

Movie: Tom Smothers stars as the brave mountie, who along with his trusty horse and bitter deputy Paul Reubens must track down a killer who is stalking coeds at a nearby cheerleader camp.

Note from Matt: This episode is missing the opening skit.

Groovie Movies:  A Polish Vampire in Burbank
Starring – Mark Pirro & Eddie Deezen   Not Rated   1985

Host: Commander USA is hyped to see the day’s film because it’s his first time watching it and he wants all the viewers at home to join him on the watch.  But he also gets a guest to come watch it as he finds a 13 year old vampire kid who says this film is a must see for vampires his age!

Movie: A somewhat reluctant vampire is taken out by his sexpot sister for his first “night out on the town.”

Note from Matt : The version of this episode I own is sadly a very poor put together fan reproduction that cuts out many of the Commander’s skits and replaces them with segments from other episodes that deal with contests and poems. 

Groovie Movies: Princess Of The Nile
Starring – Debra Paget & Jeffrey Hunter   Not Rated   1954

Host: Commander USA is getting bored with the look of The Video Vault and invites a team of decorating sisters over called the Little Designing Woman to spice up the look of the place. But the sisters can’t get along and argue the whole time and even during the free Christmas play that comes with their services. In the end, the Video Vault gets a minor change but pretty much stays the same, and Commander USA feels better about it.

Movie: Time: A.D. 1249. Shalimar, an Egyptian princess, striving to rid her country of its Bedouin conquerors, forms an alliance with Prince Haidi, son of the Caliph of Bagdad. She practices her intrigues both at the court and, disguised as a dancing girl, in the market place.

Groovie Movies: The Psycho-Tronic Man
Starring – Peter Spelson & Chris Carbis    Rated PG   1979

Host: Commander USA turns the Video Vault into a place to help people with their fears and acts as a doctor to “save” them from what spooks them. He has some clients come in and tries to help them with fears of things like white paint and furniture and even gets accused by the news for taken bribes to show the day’s film from the director! In the end Commander gets a fear of other people’s fears and has to close up shop.

Movie: Just as Rocky thinks the world is proceeding along quite well, he dashes out of his barber shop in a kind of trance, as though possessed. Once outside he is driven to hunt for a victim and after he has found someone, he kills them with whatever forces are latent in his subconscious.

Groovie Movies: Swamp Of The Lost Monsters
Starring – Gaston Santos & Sara Cabrera  Not Rated   1957

Host: Commander USA gets a visit from a visit from a “Cowboy” who owns a store in the mall above that offers tacos, facials and boots! Commander does a lot of other things that all have a western feel to them, and he has fun with his Cowboy friend.

Movie: A disappearing body leads a detective and his sidekick into an encounter with a gill man.

Note from Matt: This episode is missing its opening skit. 

Groovie Movies: They Still Call Me Bruce
Starring – Johnny Yune & Victor Brook   Rated PG   1987

Host: Commander USA invites his friend Sue who knows secrets of the oriental massage and more to come to the Video Vault and watch the day’s movie with him. Commander is trained in the art of pressure points and even Kung Fu and is really trying to learn all he can from his guests who also includes Sue’s sushi chef and student.

Movie: Bruce Won arrives in America in search of an American G.I. who saved his life in the Korean War. He meets an orphan boy and together they land themselves in a string of outrageous situations. This high-strung farce culminates when a case of mistaken identity leads a gang of thugs to think Bruce is a karate master. They arrange a nationally-televised match which pits our hero against a monstrous brute, and Bruce is beaten to a bloody pulp.

Groovie Movies: Toxic Zombies
Starring – Charles McCrann & Beverly Shapiro   Rated R  1980

Host: Commander USA and Lefty are all set in the Video Vault and are ready to watch the day’s film when all through it random people show up and do random things.  Even the Commander starts doing odd and random things, well more odd than usual. Over all the Commander just seems to be having fun watching the day’s zombie movie.

Movie: After drug crops are sprayed with a chemical by a passing airplane, the growers of the crop are poisoned by the chemical and turn into zombie-like mutants.

Groovie Movies: Trick Or Treats
Starring – David Carradine & Steve Railsback   Rated R   1982

Host: It’s a week before Christmas, and the mall above is filled with shoppers and Commander USA decides to show a movie more suitable for Halloween and has a guest named Nurse Nancy who has showed up to tell him his new gift idea (The Home Autopsy Kit) was foul. While Nancy seems negative she is also very flirty with the Commander who as always makes some snacks and even tries to sell the viewer paper plates with Lefty and his image on them.

Movie: A baby sitter is stuck watching over a young brat on Halloween night who keeps playing vicious pranks on her. To add to her trouble the boy’s deranged father has escaped from an asylum and is planning on making a visit.

Groovie Movies: The Vampire’s Coffin
Starring – Abel Salazar & Aradna Welter   Not Rated   1958

Host: Rent is going up at The Video Vault so Commander USA and Monroe decide to open up a fast food restaurant mixed with a sock emporium to help pay the rent. Commander even hires a young woman named Wendy to help wait on the customers. Commander becomes the place’s chef and makes all kinds of gross dishes for his customers.  Of course by the end of the show the restaurant goes belly up and Commander has bankrupt yet another one of his odd business ideas.

Movie: Graverobbers stumble upon the tomb of a vampire, who turns them into zombies to do his bidding, which is to stalk and capture beautiful women.

Groovie Movies: The Witchmaker
Starring – Anthony Eisley & Thordis Brandt   Not Rated   1969

Host: Commander USA has built his own Frankenstein Monster named FrankenSchtick and it’s a terrible stand up comic! At one point Commander summons the spirit of Jesse James with a can of tomato juice and spends a lot of the episode hearing the terrible comedy of his created monster and talking about the film they are watching.

Movie: A psychic researcher and his assistants investigate a series of murders of beautiful young women.

And with that this marks all the single feature episodes I own, and be warned at some point we will get into the double features!! 

As you can see I have been collecting and trying to get as many old Commander USA episodes as I can get.  It’s been great reliving those days of watching Commander on my TV screen though nothing can take away those Saturday afternoons of eating lunch or some sort of junk food and spending two hours (four when he showed the double features) hanging out with my brother and watching Commander USA during his time of broadcast. I can remember the excitement of waiting for him to come on, and Groovie Movies became the true highlight of my weekends. Commander USA’s Groovie Movies was the first place I saw horror films like Friday The 13^th 1-3, Final Terror and Motel Hell.  It’s the place where I became a super fan of films like Frankenstein And The Monster From Hell and Horror of the Zombies.  Plus Commander USA is one of the main people that made me the creative person I am today, and for that I want to truly say THANK YOU. If not for the Commander, I would have not seen half the horror films I saw at a young age because of where I lived, and seeing these films on his show as well as USA Saturday Nightmares and Super Scary Saturday helped spark the interest in wanting to make my own shot on video horror films. One regret I have is never writing to the Commander and becoming a member of his fan club.  In fact I am not really sure why my brother or I never did do this. I should also take this time to thank some people that over the years have helped me on my quest of collecting and re-living the Groovie Movies experience: Bryan Brassfield, Stumpy Disks and my pal Darren Young.  

In 2013 at Horrorhound Weekend in Cincinnati, Ohio Commander USA got one of the highest honors a host can receive as he was inducted as one of the thirteen hosts of that year into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame. When I heard that he was going in, I asked if Baron Von Porkchop, the host I direct could induct him as I would feel that it would be the highest honor I could give back to him for being such a major influence in my life, but it was not to be as New Jersey Horror Host and all around great guy Halloween Jack was asked to do so. While I would have loved to have had the Baron do it, Jack was a great pick and did the speech with lots of class and respect. Baron Von Porkchop did get to induct Florida’s own Shock Armstrong, the 1964 host of Shock Theatre, and that as well was an honor as he meant a lot to many kids of the 60’s and was a great host who looked like Frankenstein’s Monster in a football jersey. 

Commander USA was the logical pick for me when doing the first Horror Host Icon update as he was the host that was the first to mean something to me as does the next host on my list, but you all will have to wait and see who it is! This update is in honor of Jim Hendricks, the man who played Commander USA, and it’s also for all the fans of Groovie Movies who were glued to their TV’s and watched a spooky cheesy film and laughed alongside the Commander and his sidekicks. I have had a lot of fun doing this update, and while I could say a lot more, I think this will do for now as I can not express in words the wonderful impact this host and his show have had on my life.  If and when I get more episodes at some point, I would love to do an update blog and tell you a little more about the episodes I own…but that will be a while aways because we have lots of comics to read and other hosts to celebrate! Our next update takes us from a Commander to a Capn’ as we take a look at a free comic give away from Quaker Oats that allows us to set sail with the one and only Capn’ Crunch! So till next time, support and watch you local horror host and make sure to read a comic or two!

The Saw Is Law Here at Rotten Ink!

For the second Halloween update I had a hard time choosing what comic series to do. I thought to myself, should I pick one of Marvel’s classic horror titles like Tombs of Dracula or Werewolf by Night.  Then I thought, why not do something from Dead Dog Comics or Fangoria Comics, two horror comic companies that disappeared way before they should have and had a lot to offer in the comic world in my opinion.  But finally I decided to stick to a film adaptation of a classic horror film, and I was torn between Psycho and Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.  While Psycho is the better film by far, I chose to go with Leatherface because I felt the need to speak about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre this Halloween season. I first saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my brother when I was young as he bought it on VHS from Half Priced Books and hyped it up to me as one of the first slasher films made.  My expectations were high as we watched it and after that first viewing I was not as impressed as he was. I was still very much into the classic black and white horror film stuff, and I just felt while Leatherface was scary he still was just a man. Now being older I see that Leatherface being just a man is way more scary then The Wolf Man who is a unreal creature because people like Leatherface are real and are the true terrors that walk among us. But even in my teens I grew to to respect the film and what it had done for the world of horror films.  Not to mention I truly thought star Marilyn Burns was a super fox! So with that let’s first take a look at the real life killer that inspired Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel, and then we will look a little deeper into each Chainsaw film among other things as we travel to the heart of Texas on this October night and stop along the way for some good old BBQ and remember The Saw is Family.  Fair warning, this update will have spoilers.

Edward Theodore “Ed” Gein is a killer from Plainfield, Wisconsin who killed two known females and may have killed others including his own brother. Ed, who was attached to his mother, slipped into madness after her death in 1945 and took to digging up bodies from the local cemetery and making not only furniture from the bones and skin but also a suit that was made up of human flesh to make himself into a woman. Ed’s first victim was Mary Hogan, a saloonkeeper that he killed with a shotgun in 1954.  His second victim was hardware store owner Bernice Worden who was also shot in her store.  Both women were dragged back to his farmhouse where they were cut up, skinned and treated like cattle at a slaughterhouse. Ed not only was a grave robber but he also took part in cannibalism as he ate pieces of his victims. Ed was busted for the second murder and was sentenced to life in an asylum where he died in 1984 from respiratory failure at the age of 77. The Gein’s farm house was set on fire, and his truck was sold to a carnival where people paid a quarter to see it after his death. Ed’s tombstone is the target for vandals and thieves as pieces are broken off for keepsakes and graffiti placed on it. As I have stated, Gein was only convicted and only admitted to two murders but there was the possibilities of many more including his brother who was found dead years before on the property during a controlled burn.  The authorities ruled that he died from asphyxiation from the smoke but wounds were found around his skull leaving some to wonder if Ed had attacked and murdered him. Ed also has been the inspiration for many Hollywood bad guys like Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Norman Bates from Psycho, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and Ezra Cobb from Deranged. Not to mention Ed has had a few bio films based on him and has had such actors as Kane Hodder and Steve Railsback step into the role of portraying him. To this day Ed Gein seems to catch the attention of many true crime followers and seems to never be forgotten as his name lives on in film, comics and songs.

Let’s take a look at the films of Texas Chainsaw Massacre….and these do have spoilers! I will include standard 1-4 star rating as the end of each small write up.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Sally Hardesty, her wheelchair bound brother Franklin, her boyfriend Jerry and friends Kirk and Pam are on a road trip through Texas in 1973 to see if their grandfather’s grave has been disturbed by a rash of grave robbers and to go to their family’s old home that is now in ruins. Along the way, they pick up a crazed hitchhiker who attacks Franklin before being booted from the van. They also meet a gas station owner named W.E who warns them not to go to the old house and warns them his station is out of gas. The group doesn’t listen and heads for the farm where their fun and games turn into a nightmare as a killer known as Leatherface (because he wears human skin as a mask) picks them off one by one. Leatherface uses all his tools of the trade to dispose of the teens like his trusty hammer, chainsaw and meat hooks. Finally Sally is the only one left alive and comes face to face with the true horror of Leatherface and his deranged brothers that include W.E., the hitchhiker and their wheelchair bound blood-drinking Grandpa who was a slaughterhouse worker. Sally is chased, beaten and forced to have a cannibal dinner with the family before she tries to escapes the madness with her life as Leatherface with chainsaw and hitchhiker with straight razor are in hot pursuit. In the end the hitchhiker is smashed by a semi truck, Leatherface takes his own chainsaw to the leg and Sally escapes with her life but not her mind. 4 Stars!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II – Stretch is a DJ for a popular rock radio station that captures the deaths of two callers on her request line by the killer known as Leatherface. In town, Lefty Enright, uncle to Sally and Franklin Hardesty and a former ranger, wants to capture and kill those responsible for the murders taking place in Texas. The Sawyer clan now lives in an abandoned amusement park, and the Cook (Drayton) is now in the catering business selling his human BBQ and chili all around town and soon at the big football game. But when Lefty talks Stretch into playing the kill call live on the air, she and her coworker L.G. become the targets of Leatherface and his brother Chop-Top (a vet with a metal plate in his head) who want the tape and want them dead. The attack leaves Stretch’s co-worker at death’s door and Leatherface with a crush on her, which saves her life. The Sawyer clan heads home as Lefty and Stretch follow and get lost in the maze. Stretch is found and forced to eat dinner with the family as Leatherface’s new “girlfriend.” Meanwhile Lefty spends time trying to bring the whole place down. After he finds Stretch and saves her from the hammer what follows is a showdown between a crazed family of killers and a crazed man who lost it all when his family was taken away. The result is chainsaw duels, hammer blows to the head, the return of the blood-drinking Grandpa, the hitchhiker’s corpse as a puppet and the death of many of the Sawyer family. 3 1/2 Stars!

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III – Michelle and Ryan are driving cross-country and made the mistake of driving through Texas as another Sawyer body pit has been found. It throws them off the normal highway and to the Last Chance Gas Station run by a pervert named Alfredo Sawyer who gets into a fight with a hitchhiker named Tex after he catches him peeping on Michelle as she uses the restroom. Before Tex is “gunned” down for being a hero, he tells them to take a back road that leads to a run-in with Leatherface and an accident with a survivalist named Benny. With no cars and no hope, the three along with a crazy young woman who has escaped the Sawyer clan become the prey as Leatherface and his brothers Tinker (a hook handed technology lover and tow truck driver), Tex (the hitchhiker) and Alfredo (the gas station owner) hunt them down and kill them for meat. Michelle is alive after the others are killed and taken to the Sawyer farm were she gets to meet Mama Sawyer, Grandpa and Leatherface’s young daughter. But when Benny, who’s not dead, comes to her aid the two must kill or be killed to stay alive. Do they make it out of Texas alive, and if so, what is left of them? 2 1/2 Stars!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Next Generation – It’s prom night in 1994 as mousy Jenny, a young woman who is being abused by her mom’s boyfriend, is on her way to the prom with Sean and her friend Heather and Heather’s asshole boyfriend Berry. They get into a wreck in the backwoods of Texas and meet Vilmer Sawyer, a towtruck driver with a mechanical leg brace, Darla an insurance agent with fake boobs, W.E. a shotgun welding history quoting asshole and of course Leatherface. One by one, like before, the friends are killed off as Jenny is the only one left to spend a horrific dinner with the Sawyer clan, but this time it’s different as they spend time playing mind games and cat and mouse chases with her. Weirdly, they refer to all of this as a job given to them by a secret government agency. But strangely a man dressed in black, a clear member of the secret government agency named Rothman, shows up and yells at the family but lets the madness continue. Jenny escapes the house with Vilmer and Leatherface in pursuit as a plane swoops down from nowhere killing Vilmer and stopping Leatherface dead in his tracks. Jenny gets to a limo where Rothman apologies for all she has been through and drops her off at a local hospital where she sees a crazed Sally Hardesty. The two lock eyes as we end with Leatherface swinging his chainsaw as the sun sets. This film was also known as “Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. 2 stars!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre – In 1973 Erin, her boyfriend and a van full of friends are driving back home from Mexico and make the mistake of taking the backroads of Texas. After picking up a hitchhiker who blows her head off, they are lead to Sheriff Hoyt who makes them stay until this case can be closed. Erin and her friends soon learn that something is not right with the small almost abandoned town as everyone they meet seems a little off. When Erin’s boyfriend goes missing and becomes the first victim to Leatherface’s hammer, Erin and her friends start becoming human cattle to the Hewitt family that includes crazy Sheriff Hoyt, wheelchair bound Monty, little boy Jedediah and old lady Luda May. One by one the friends die. Erin is the last survivor who must escape her hellish nightmare, but before she does she saves a kidnapped baby, kills Sheriff Hoyt and chops off Leatherface’s arm. It ends with Erin driving off as a one-armed Leatherface makes one last attempt on her life. 2 1/2 Stars!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning – In 1939 a deformed baby is born in a slaughterhouse and is quickly thrown away in the trash can out back where Luda May Hewitt rescues it and takes it home to raise as her own. Flash to 1969, and the small Texas town is dying as the baby grows up to be Thomas Hewitt, working for the very same slaughterhouse that threw him away just some 30 years before. Brothers Eric and Dean, along with their girlfriends Chrissie and Bailey are on their way to be dropped off to go to Vietnam as Thomas kills his old boss and his Uncle Charlie kills the sheriff to protect his nephew and becomes Sheriff Hoyt. The Hewitt family stays in the town and makes a vow that they will do whatever it takes to keep the family farm, including eating human flesh to never go hungry. Eric and crew get in a wreck as a female biker tries to rob them. This brings Sheriff Hoyt who kills the biker and takes Eric, Dean and Bailey under custody and to the Hewitt farm. Chrissie comes to the rescue with the help of the leader of the biker gang. But one by one they start meeting an end at the hands of Leatherface who ends up cutting Eric’s face off and taking off his leather strap mask to truly live up to what he is to become. Finally, after being caught and watching her loved ones get killed Chrissie escapes or so she thinks. 3 Stars!

Texas Chainsaw 3D – The Sawyer family is under attack after the events of the first film as the Sheriff wants Leatherface to come out and turn himself in.  Things go south when some good old boys show up and kill the Sawyer family and burn down the farm house. One baby survives the attack and grows up thinking she is the daughter of some of the rednecks who killed her real family. When she gets a notice that her real grandma has died and left her a mansion, she finds out the truth that she was adopted and returns to Texas to acquire her family’s estate. But she and her friends get more than what they bargain for as Leatherface is still alive and lives in the basement and worse the towns redneck get wind of a Sawyer being back in town and are not happy. In the end the young woman must join forces with her chainsaw welding cousin and stop the rednecks that wish them nothing but harm. The film was the first in the series to be shot in 3D and is a direct sequel to the Tobe Hopper original. 2 1/2 Stars!

The films have over the years built up a huge cult following, and while none of them were huge box office winners, they all are still well made fun horror films that deserve their spot in horror history. If your interested in reading my full reviews of most of the Texas Chainsaw films, then take a look at my old review site Bloodline Video for those and many other film and video game reviews. And speaking of video games we can’t talk Texas Chainsaw Massacre without talking about the 1982 Wizard Video Game based on the film for the Atari 2600 and that turned out to be a major flop but is now highly collectible today. The game has you play as Leatherface and armed with your trusty chainsaw and a select amount of fuel, you must chase after screaming females and hack them to pieces to gain points.  But the whole time you must also dodge obstacles like bulls skulls and wheelchairs because if you get caught up in one you lose fuel and your score will drop.The game when released was considered too adult for the video game market and could only be bought from select stores that chose to stock it and was sold behind counters limiting its sales. The game tested poorly with critics and gamers at the time and over all was trashed for its terrible plot and stiff gameplay. I happen to have an original copy of the game complete with its manuel that I bought from Ebay for $150.00.  While it’s a terrible game, it still holds some charm when you think about the fact it was one of the first horror themed games and the fact that Wizard Video, who was a popular VHS horror film distributor who was owned by Charles Band (Full Moon Entertainment) was the one to put it out. Only time will tell if Leatherface will ever get a full modern game again, but at this point I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Speaking of the Atari 2600 game based on the film one of the funniest reviews I have ever seen about this game was done for The Angry Video Game Nerd’s two-part Halloween special where he looked at this game as well as Haunted House, Frankenstein’s Monster and Halloween all for the Atari 2600. In the episode The Nerd buys both the Texas Chainsaw and Halloween Game (both who were rare and released by Wizard Home Video) from a garage sale run by a banjo playing hick smart ass. When he gets home, he plays the game and rips it to shreds for being a poor programed and thought out game. After the review he gets a visit from Chop Top and Leatherface who give chase and he is attacked by the Banjo Hick who is also part of the Sawyer Family. They force The Nerd to play the game longer until he escapes and is chased by Leatherface who gets hung up on a bike and allowing The Nerd to get away. This episode is so much fun and his Halloween specials always stand out for being well done and a great way to remember the horror games of the past. If you have not seen this episode, you should check it out on his website Cinemassacre or his Youtube page.

A cool short film that thus far has never been released and was directed by William Hopper, the son of original director Tobe Hopper, called “All American Massacre” was started in 1998 but not fully finished, It was supposed to be about Chop Top (played by Bill Mosley once again) and picks up after the events of part 2 and has Chop Top in jail spilling his guts to a Tabloid Magazine about the history of his family. The music score was being done by strange guitarist Buckethead, and the film had a lot of buzz after a teaser trailer was released. In 2011 the film tried to get the remaining funding via Kickstarter but the online attempt failed. At a convention a few years back I spoke to Bill Mosley about the film and he expressed that he wished it would come out as well. So here is to hoping that one day fans of Texas Chainsaw Massacre will be able to see this 60 minute sequel gem. I for one would love to see this because I am a fan of the character Chop Top and would love to see how he survived the chainsaw gut check from part 2 and see how he was captured by the police. So spread the word about this film, and let’s see if we can all help get this made.

The Sawyer family is also very popular when it comes to the merchandise department and have had so many product based around them.  They have had comics, shirts, toys, a video game, models, Halloween masks, soundtracks, jewelry and so much more. So if you’re a fan of this film and or Leatherface, then you should be happy at the amount of collectibles out in the world for you to own. I for one have a cool retro Leatherface T-Shirt, the video game and some of the action figures. My favorite Leatherface item I own is the 3 3/4″ action figure that is in scale with classic Star Wars and G.I. Joe’s.  Now that’s a cool toy. And I also love my CD soundtrack done by an old website called Roger’s Basement that has music and sound clips from the first two films.  Around Halloween time I play some tracks off these on the WYSO show Alpha Rhythms.

One little unknown fact is that back in 2001 while Independent B Movie was still going strong I wrote and was going to direct and star as Leatherface in a fan made film based on this series called “Texas Chainsaw Massacre:Return Of The Saw”! The film was taking place after the events of Texas Chainsaw Massacre the Next Generation and would have followed a beauty queen named Gabriella and her photographer friend Paul as they make the mistake of having a run in with the Sawyers who consisted of Leatherface, The Hitchhiker, Vilmer, W.E., Grandpa and Rose who was based on the young girl from part III. The film also had a bounty hunter on the trail of the Sawyers named The Cobra who was hired to kill them by a family member of a past victim. The film was slated to star all the old fimilar faces of I.B.M like Matt Hoffman, Josh Weinberg, Andrea Seay, Dave Wean, Garrison Kane, Jeff Ricks, Brandon Womeldorff and Patrick Neeley. The script was finished and most the props were bought as we got a Leatherface and Grandpa Halloween Mask, lots of fake blood and body parts and even fake brown slime to use on the fake decomposing bodies. The film was about to go into production but it was pushed to the back burner when original scripts started to come in and films like Who Keeps Feeding Grandpa, Farmer Joe and Razor were made instead. Josh Weinberg was a true sport as he acted as the producer of this unfinished project and for many years after we kept talking about getting it into production, but sadly we were never able to.  The film’s script has fallen into the big blue folder of un-shot scripts along side Dracula film Eternal Sleep, Farmer Joe 2 and Matt Hoffman’s fan made Creature From The Black Lagoon film. Below is a fake teaser poster done by my friend Eric Shonborn just for this blog so take a look and think about the no budget fan film that never was.

While on the topic of Texas, I just want to also mention that I don’t watch much TV these days and when I do watch TV shows they are on DVD.  But one show that I do watch is a really silly reality show called “American Hoggers”! I know right now many of you are laughing at me and shaking your heads at how I can watch such a dumb show, so allow me to explain. Last year Juliet and I were having some issue with our apartment, and while it was getting fixed I stayed at my parents’ house or we would rent a hotel room.  While at my parents’ house I would stay up late and have the TV on. A show that I kept catching was called American Hoggers, and the first thing that caught my eye was one of the show’s stars Krystal “The Pistol” Campbell and the second was Lea Penick.  Both are good looking women who were taking down giant hogs in the state of Texas, and this was mesmerizing to me late nights. The show is about The Campbell’s, a father and his kid team that go out and get wild hogs in Texas before they can cause more damage to peoples property or cause physical harm to kids and animals.  The show is so much fun and I enjoy the wild antics of father Jerry and the hotness of Krystal and Lea who also seem like really cool people and both girls are great at what they do and are down right fearless. After the apartment was fixed I still found myself watching the show with my Mom and Dad on Wednesdays. I know it’s a sickness.

Now before we take a look at Northstar comics four issue loosely based comic adaptation of the film Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, I would like to also take a moment to talk about another planed adaptation from them that never happened, a mini series that was in the works based on the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre film. By the midway mark of the Leatherface series, the sales of this title were high and issue one was a total sell out and helped the company gain momentum who were only a gore and horror comic company who made many original titles like KlownShock and Splatter and those titles sells were never as solid as they were on the Leatherface series, making them look at The Sawyer Family as a cash cow and a quick way to become a player at the growing comic shops around the United Stares and hang with the big boys of Marvel and DC. The fourth and final issue in the Leatherface mini series revealed that the company was working on a adaptation of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and many new original Chainsaw stories that was in the works.  The adaptation comic was said to have J.J. Birch who worked on the Catwoman comic on board and was going to be the kick off to this new series of books. Fans were hyped and the comic even had advertisements for these comic books.  Years passed and the comics never seen the light of day nor did Northstar ever speak of them again making many forget that they were even in the works and others who did just moved on to other comics. I spent hours looking into why this book was canceled and could never find an answer. I for one would have loved to have read both the film adaptation and the new series and know that I would have bought them when they came out. I am wondering if the book was finished and if so who owns it and is there any chance that it would ever come out! Fangoria Comics would have been a great company to put this out if they didn’t go south way too soon. Below is one of the ads that was published in issue 4 of Leatherface so that we all can look at it and wonder what it could have been.

Now that we have taken a look at Leatherface in film, video game and merchandise I think it’s time that we dive into the backroads of Texas and adventure into reading this series! When I was younger I only owned issue 4 and always looked at local comic shops like Mavericks and The Bookie Parlor for the other three and was never successful in my quest. Years later thanks to the team up of Lone Star Comics and Amazon, I was able to find the other three and replace the issue four I sold off to pay rent way back when. I just want you all to remember I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and base it on entertainment value, quality of the story, the art and how true it stays to the source martial.  So let’s gas up the chainsaw and have a bloody good time.

Leatherface  # 1  ***
Released in 1991   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics   # 1 of 4

Leatherface bashes a young woman’s head in and removes the skin around her face to make a new mask from it, as a woman outside watches in horror and flee’s into the woods. Michelle and Ryan are stuck in a traffic jam that’s caused by the discovery of a massive body pit that is housing the remains of 70 to 80 victims. When they can finally hit the road, Michelle hits an armadillo and when Ryan goes to kill it she finds a chrome skull ear ring at the side of the road. The couple stops at the Last Chance Gas Station run by a eye patch wearing goon named Alfredo who speaks like a pervert, and they also meet Tex a hitchhiker cowboy who just wants to get home.  After Tex catches Alfredo peeping on Michelle as she uses the restroom he flips out and gets a shotgun and shoots the cowboy and tries to blast the couple who speed off and turn down an old abandoned road where they are chased by a giant monster truck that throws a decapitated dogs head at the window and causes the couple to wreck and get a flat tire. As the monster truck speeds off, Ryan is trying to fix the flat tire as a noise is heard in the woods, a simple squeak noise that turns into the sound of a chainsaw as Leatherface is upon them!

This issue is a fun way to start off this movie adaptation and uses Leatherface in only two spots: killing the person at the start of the issue and the quick flash of him getting ready to kill our heros. Leatherface in this issue seems very mean spirited and is very much like he is in the film this comic is based on.  His look is also great, and he is sporting long hair and a giant knee brace. Michelle and Ryan are a good couple who are clearly at odds with each other.  In this comic they seem to argue a lot and Ryan is pretty much a pure ass who takes any chance to try and push Michelle’s buttons trying to get her to fight with him. Tex comes off as just a cowboy who is a drifter and is a puzzle as he is the one who gave them the route they took when they were attacked by the monster truck, and Alfredo is a pure sleaze ball who is crazy as Ygor from the Universal film Son of Frankenstein. The comic has a nice amount of gore to go along with the plot of a couple driving a car across Texas who are fighting over a break up that is in the works and make a mistake of stopping at a gas station that is run by the Sawyers. One nice touch is that in the body pit part two of the workers are FX maser Tom Savini and classic b-actor Dick Miller! The art work by Kirk Jarvinen is good stuff and is the style of 90’s horror comics that I like, and the cover is also well done and eye catching. I can see why this first issue sold so well, and I for one wish I would have gotten it off the stand when I was a kid as I am sure both The Bookie Parlor and Mavericks had it stocked. While it’s very close to the film, the changes are well done and make this first issue a good read.  I don’t know about you but I am pretty hyped to see what issue two brings to the table. 

Leatherface  # 2  ***
Released in 1991   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics   # 2 of 4

Ryan and Michelle are shocked at the side of the road as Leatherface comes at them with his chainsaw a buzzing.  Ryan thinks fast and kicks Leatherface in the balls and as the killer drops, he and Michelle speed off! Leatherface tries to stop them but breaks his chain on his saw, and they get away. While speeding Michelle crashes into a truck driven by Benny, a weekend warrior who is a survivalist, after she thinks she sees an injured Tex in the road. They couple tell Benny about Tex and the chainsaw madman who tried to kill them, as he thinks they are just talking smack after being shook up from the accident. Benny goes to the road to get his gun just in case and waiting up there is Tinker, a tow truck driver with a hooked hand, who turns out to be yet another crazy member of the Sawyer family.  Benny is able to get his gun and escape being run over just in time, but his escape is short lived as he is now being attacked by Leatherface! Benny fights his hardest but just as it looks bad, the woman who at the start of issue one saves him and has Leatherface chase after her! Meanwhile Michelle and Ryan are trying to shake off injuries when a shotgun carrying Tex comes for them and fights with the couple to keep them captive. While the poor woman who saved Benny’s life is captured by Tink and is cut up by Leatherface.

Issue two is all action and does not pull the punches with the gore, action and blood! This time around Leatherface is given more depth and at one point when he breaks his saw takes to bashing his own head against a tree as punishment! Leatherface is also way more blood thirsty in the issue and takes glee in chopping up the woman in the end, not to mention it’s super cool as they put dialogue in as to what he is thinking. Ryan is still an ass even being in danger, and the character is not likeable at all.  When he gets his face smashed with the butt of the shotgun you don’t feel sorry for him, but you feel sorry for Michelle who is left to fight of Tex alone. Michelle is likable but does make dumb mistakes in the comic just as she did in the film and the top one being getting into the crash with Benny. Tink is an odd duck who it’s clear he is now the brains of the family after the death of Drayton Sawyer aka The Cook from the first two films, and seems to love technology. Tex is shown to be a part of the family and is a sick son of gun who uses his looks to trick people into going along with what he says. The art work is now being done by Guy Burwell who also did the cover, and while his art work is good, it kind of lost some of the charm of issue one.  Plus the cover is not as eye catching. Over all this is a good issue and keeps you entertained with all the action and blood.  I also love the changes from the film like Leatherface slaughtering the girl, being pissed about his saw breaking and even Tex fighting with Michelle and Ryan; all nice touches and truly flushes out the story a little more. Let’s get onto issue three, shall we?

Leatherface  # 3   ***
Released in 1991   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics   # 3 of 4

Tink and Leatherface are having a blast playing around with the body parts of the woman they had just killed, even playing baseball with her skull! Tink finds Ryan’s cassette tape walkman and gives it to Leatherface as a gift and has Leatherface do the classic chainsaw dance for his amusement. Meanwhile Michelle has escaped Tex and is wandering the woods and finds that the Sawyer family have traps set everywhere to capture and kill anyone who stumbles onto their place.  As she is wandering, she finds a normal looking house with a Little Girl sitting on the porch and asks her for help. The Little Girl takes Michelle inside and soon enough she finds out she is in the killers’ home as Tex and Little Girl try and capture her yet again. Meanwhile Benny in the woods finds a pond where Alfredo is dumping body parts of victims, and the two have an exchange of words that leaves Alfredo knocked out and thrown into the pond. Michelle meanwhile is captured and meets the family from Mama to a crazed old man who the family has taken in as their own, and she is forced to watch as Leatherface bashes in the head of Ryan who they have brought home to slaughter and eat!

This third issue is more about suspense and builds up a very gloom and doom feeling for Michelle who is truly on her own against a family of crazed rednecks. Michelle is a likable killer.  While she fights back a tad, you really keep wanting her to fight as hard as she can to get away from the Sawyer family. Ryan in the issue is nothing more than a dead man walking as his date with the sledgehammer is near. Benny is trying his best to find the couple and get rid of the Sawyer family but is always a few steps behind. Tex and Little Girl make a good team of trying to capture Michelle, and Little Girl is just as nuts as the rest of the family. Mama is not given to much in the issue but now it’s clear her word is law. Leatherface is still the mean brute he is in the first two issuea and once more seems to get pleasure in bashing in Ryan’s face. The issue is a nice set up for the big blow out you know is coming up in issue four, the final issue in the mini series, and makes you wonder what changes will be made next. Art in comic and cover is done by Guy Burwell again and once more is good work with an improvement on the cover. So with this let’s get into issue four and see how the story ends. 

Leatherface # 4  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics  # 4 of 4

Tink is happy with Leatherface and takes him out to the barn to give him a giant chrome chainsaw, but the gift is cut short as Benny has found them and opens fire, killing Tink with a wave of bullets.  As the war outside is going on, Michelle escapes and kills Tex with a butcher knife leaving the cowboy a bloody mess. Benny enters the house and has a standoff with Mama, but she is quickly killed as he bashes her head in with his gun.  Leatherface is now in the action and chops off some of Benny’s fingers and causes him and Michelle to flee into the woods, but while by the pond Alfredo pops back up and attacks Michelle as Leatherface catches up and fights with Benny! Michelle wins her fight and drowns Alfredo in the dirty pond water as Benny is decapitated by Leatherface’s chainsaw and Michelle uses the head to bash Leatherfaces brains in! In the end Michelle is by the side of the road, deathly sick from the pond water that was covered in disease from the dead bodies in it as a sheriff’s car drives by containing Leatherface, the old man and Little Girl as they are just driving on to make home somewhere else in Texas.

This last issue is what I would call Faces of Death of the Sawyer Family as members of the family are shot, stabbed, drowned and bashed! Michelle in this issue has had enough and kills two of the family members and even beats Leatherface down with a human skull! The change in Michelle builds up in all four issues so as she snaps and kills her would be murders, you find yourself cheering for her to get them. Tink is wasted in the issue as for the most part the whole mini series as it’s clear he’s crazy but is also kind of the brains of the brothers. Tink’s death in the film is similar to the comic as in he is shot in both. Alfredo is out of his mind crazy and is a character I love seeing both in the comic and film get his.  His death in the comic is way different from that of the film as in this one he is drowned and in the film he takes a shotgun blast to his face. Tex is the suave brother and it comes across in the comic that while he will kill and do violent acts, he just doesn’t get into it as much as his brothers. His death is way different in the comic as he his stabbed and gutted by Michelle and in the film he is set on fire by Benny during an ax fight. Mama is just around in the comic and seems not as important as she does in the film.  Her death is also way different as in the film she is shot up by Benny and not getting her brain bashed in like the comic. Little Girl is pretty much the same nut job little kid, and her character is well done because it adds the uneasy feel to all the deaths that she sees before her. The Grandpa in the comic is some coot who just babbles and his over all a waste. Leatherface in this comic mini series is a pure blood and gore crazed bad ass who is after one thing and that’s to make his family proud! I truly do like the way he is written in this mini series, and I think adding what he is thinking is a thing of pure genies when it comes to horror comics like this based around an over all mute character. The art work and cover is once more done by Guy Burwell, and while I don’t like his style as well as I liked Kirk Jarvinen’s work in the first issue, I would say that over all the artwork for the whole series is well done and fitting for such a grim story. To round up this review I would say while it kept some of the core things from the film it’s based around, it adds enough change to make this comic series seem like a “Marvel What If” version and gives the reader a new ride on what could have been a bad paint by numbers comic adaptation. As Joe Bob Briggs would say over all “Three Stars. Check It Out.”

So thanks for traveling the back roads of Texas with me and looking back at Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. I do have a quick story about this film that I will share with you. Growing up I collected horror films on VHS and I had a really good collection going.  This was before the days of online shopping, and I would spend a lot of time looking at places like Second Time Around, Half Price Books, Replay Media, West Coast Video and Blockbuster Video looking for more horror films to add to my collection.  One film I always wanted was “Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III,” and the only place I could find it was at the little video store K&L Video that me and my brother would rent from and I can remember harassing him forever about buying it, and the owner Kenny would always give me some super high quote like $50-$80. Years passed and when sadly K&L went out of business I was finally able to buy the VHS, but what should have been a happy day for my collecting ways turned out to be a sad one as I would lose a place that always felt like a second home. But the next update will be our first Halloween update and I will post it on October 31^st and we will be taking a look at custom comics based on Hammer horror films that I will be reading at haunted places in and around the Dayton area! So make sure to come back for that spooky good time! Until then watch a horror film, play a horror game and always make sure to read a horror comic, and stay scary!