The Conspiracy Of Sexy Cyber Vampires From College

Welcome back to another update here at Rotten Ink.  It’s crazy to think that 2016 is already here, and this is shaping up to be one heck of a year for horror films as well as super hero flicks as this year we get a new Conjuring, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Phantasm as well as a new Captain America, X-Men and Superman! For this update I decided to take a look at a comic based on a film and maybe share some more stories of working on one of my own micro budget flicks! The comic we will be covering is the last of the Draculina photo comics based on a film called The Vampire Conspiracy, and the film of mine we will take a look at is The Sadness.  So get your mind ready for the world of low budget films and enjoy this update.

VHS the forgotten art of making movies

In 2005 I was itching to make a movie.  At the now defunct  Precinct 13 Video in Kettering, I was talking to my friend and shop owner Jason about an idea I had about a supernatural style killer who targeted women and video taped the aftermaths of his crimes. Jason liked the idea, and I went to the normal Independent B Movie alumni Dave Wean and Josh Weinberg and told them the idea as well, and got the same feedback! The idea stewed around in my brain for a few months, and I decided that the killer I created for “Long Dead Winter,” a film never finished by Mike Ritchie, would be used as the killer.  His name was The Sadness. I kept the idea from the unfinished film of The Sadness hearing his father’s voice in his head driving him to kill no matter what.  The Sadness went from a serial killer to a cold blooded Michael Myer style slasher in a blink of an eye. At the time I had just gotten out of a long relationship with a young woman named Misty, who viewers of our films know for her parts in Razor and Farmer Joe, and had just met a young woman who I fell head over heels for named Lindsey who was a sweet and caring person.  This was to be a short lived thing as all things in life change and she stopped calling and we stopped hanging out with one another…but with this came the motivation to complete my script and make The Sadness come alive on the TV Screen. I spent months with my notebook and wrote scene after scene. I added a character named Jason played by comic artist Jason Young who was as confused as me about a woman he cared for.  I added a radio DJ character as we had access and permission to film inside Wright State University to use their media area.  Garrison Kane came back to play The Sadness just as he did for the footage for Long Dead Winter. I then cast the rest of the spots with great actors and friends like Josh Weinberg, Mindy Becker, Andrea Seay to name a few, and production was soon on it’s way. The script was mostly a dark mood with lots of effects kills and lots of drama elements between characters. The plot has a woman witnessing the murder of her neighbor and decides to talk about it on her collage radio show.  Big mistake as this draws the killer to the college as he is silent, deadly and never leaves a witness alive! I should also say that The Sadness is a cold blooded killer who does not talk, does not feel pain, does not have remorse and wears a red and black mask, has long black hair and always has a black suit on. The dumbest mistake we made with the character was trying to use and change up a WWF Kane mask as his face plate.  If I could go back, I would change it 100% to just a solid red mask like all the character’s promo art. I should also note at the start of filming I had just met and started dating Jennifer.

The Sadness Killer 1

We decided to shoot all the college footage first as it was the most demanding of the sets as students were still in the building even as we filmed for many days starting at midnight! The area we picked next to the radio booth was perfect for our location as lots of scenes took place in the radio room as well as the waiting room.  On the first day of shooting things were going pretty well for the most part. Jason, Sam and Mindy were hitting their marks but things went south pretty quick as I would soon find out the Mindy had snuck alcohol in and was getting more and more drunk as the filming went on, and by 5am she went missing in action! I was annoyed but realized that she did not mean to get that out of control.  So I filled the rest of the first night with shots of The Sadness wondering around the college. The second day of filming was way more relaxed with everyone showing up and having fun, I even allowed for some ad-libbed lines that were comical to bring the mood up for the DJ characters to show they were just fun loving students. But we did have an accident that night as Garrison as the Sadness could not see out of his mask and wig and really stabbed Jason in the back! After checking the wound and seeing that it was not that deep, Jason was a sport and continued the shoot. After all the DJ stuff with The Sadness as well as the final scenes of the film were shot, I finished up all the inside college shots of The Sadness chasing Jason as well as him stalking the hallways. As I got this footage shot, Jason Wilson from Precinct 13 Video was uploading it and started to do the first edit of the film. What followed next was some of the outside shots of The Sadness killing random people, getting the voice over of his father played by a co-worker of mine named James as well him preparing for his kills and other small fill in shots. By this time Jason Wilson informed me that the film needed another kill so I had to add in a couple of new college kid characters and re-film at the school of them being introduced and the female one being killed off, for these shots I had to have Josh Weinberg fill in for The Sadness as Garrison was swamped with his day job. Jason added these scenes into the film and made the pacing a little better for a drama slasher film the extra kill added some more horror to a film that was quickly becoming a drama about lost love. In a odd twist I was able to talk Lindsey into playing the part that was based on her and she did a fantastic job of what lines she was give, it was nice to see her and for her to understand that I had to make the film and way I needed to as I was a person who was amped up and need to get the hurt, anger and ideas out of my brain and into this movie. Josh Weinberg stepped up and became my assistant director and even filmed some shots as I was also at this time hired to play a big part in a film directed by my film mentor Andy Copp called Fun In The Old Town Tonight. The final day of filming was the films opening kill and I was so hyped when my close friend Andrea Seay took the role of the first victim and we spent the whole night filming the scene that I not only had to direct but also do the special effects for, this being the end of the movie that was a personal one made my emotions run high as I was one happy film maker to get this off his chest on questions of why people drift apart, and like a bonehead I made a terrible mistake that coasts me my best friend and someone who I still care about to this day as one of my actions made Andrea and my friendship come to an end. Looking back all this time away from this film and production while it was a great experience to be able to get heartbreak off my chest and that came via Misty who I had to break up with for both of our sanity and Lindsey who just was not meant to be, got to work on special effects and watch a killer from my own mind come alive, have friends come together to make something personal of mine alive, the worst part of this production was loosing Andrea as a friend as she was always their for me as I was always around for her. Even if I have not spoken to her sense 2006 I still think very highly of her and hope that some day the wounds can be healed.

The Sadness Killer 2The Sadness Tub Kill 0The Sadness Killer 3

As Jason Wilson finished editing, I obtained music for the film and was able to get tracks from the likes of Centerfold, Winter of Discontent, Patrick Neeley, Society’s Whore, David Wean and Ed vs. Radio, and with their music, we added a whole new level of entertainment to the film. The film premiered at Precinct 13 Video in 2006 and showed at midnight.  I was happy to see that the place was packed and many people were hyped to watch the film. It was super cool to hear people clap when my name popped up as director and even cooler to hear them clap and cheer when the film ended. Many people who attended came up to me and loved the idea of a drama slasher film and got the nature of the film.  Others came up to me and didn’t like that the film was more dark and only had some comedy to it as they wanted more Werewolf of Ohio type films from me….it was very split and this was really amazing to hear the two sides out. For me the film was made to let out stress and was packed with drama, comedy and horror with a touch of cheese and was meant to just entertain and allow me to make a killer like Michael Myers of Halloween who is my favorite slasher icons and I did what I set out to do! The film came out on DVD by Bloodline Video for a short time, would play on local TV, and screen at conventions as well as come out via Warlock Home Video a few years back. The film is pretty much out of print nowadays, and while it may be gone, it’s not forgotten as I have had people make comments to me about the film in the past year as well as The Sadness himself will have a cameo in the comic series We Kill The Dead alongside the likes of other independent horror characters. In 2008, I started to work on The Sadness II that would have followed up right after the events of the first film.  We filmed a first kill scene, and quickly it was clear that the rage was missing from the script and it was nothing more than a slasher film that would have been packed with way more gore and boobs and no heart and plot.  So as soon as I started filming, I quickly pulled the plug on the film. Now in 2016 I have the bug again and really want to make a reboot to The Sadness and bring him to modern times and explore his back story, his anger and his legacy.  So who knows, maybe soon I will film this and share the experience with you readers. Out of all the old no/low budget films I have shot, I think I am the most proud of The Sadness as it truly did capture what I was trying to pull off, and while it is flawed, I still find it to be one of the best things I did for Independent B Movie and Bloodline Video. Below is the cover for the film’s first DVD release.  Yeah, it was cheesy and was made by Patrick Neeley.

Original The Sadness DVD Cover

On January 1st 2016 my cousin Stephen had a get together at his house to play a POG tournament! That’s right POGS the game that I had not played sense I was in the 9th grade mostly against my friend Jade during breaks in-between classes and during lunch. For those who don’t remember this game you would stack 10 or more cardboard POGS on a mat or the ground and use a heaver metal or plastic round disk and slam it onto the pile hoping to turn them over and for each one you got a point, in the end the player with the most points wins. I remember that I use to collect POGS and that we would play for keeps, as the winner would win all the caps they turned over during the match. My go to Slammers where a Universal Monster Dracula one that was made of plastic and a thin metal one that had a big haired red skull face skeleton creature on the front with the message No Drugs on it. I owned many other slammers like Star Wars and other comic and cartoon characters as well as other generic ones but those two were my favorites. This POG rebirth sparked from a small POG Tournament set we bought in at Game Swap and after seeing it Stephen bought it and we chatted and before we knew it a tournament was set for New Years Day! Looking at the invite that was sent out on Facebook and seeing the likes of friends like Thomas Smith, Josh Weinberg, Garrison Kane, Spencer Lucus, Jeremy Hoyt and Theresa Lopez to name a few all saying they were entering I new the competition was going to be tough and then hearing that comic artist Jason Young as well my own girlfriend Juliet were entering I knew I had to get the perfect Slammer Team in order so I hit Ebay and Amazon and dug deep to find what I considered the best of the best in Pog winning greatness, and now I will present them to you in all their glory, also cue Sirius by Alan Parsons Project! The first one I bought was “Jaws” a red light metal slammer featuring the icon of cinema of the same name, the second Slammer to join the team was a light plastic one featuring a large sharp toothed islander looking guy called “Da Cruncher”, next was a metal slammer that featured the MTV cartoon character “Butthead”, then I was lucky and found the red skull big hair skeleton just like I had when I first played so “No Drugs” became my third metal Slammer and my final main roster Slammer was a Universal Monster thicker plastic one that I call “Universal The Mummy” as that character was featured on the front and that those were the ones I selected as my starting line-up. I also for safe measure I brought a few fill in Slammers just in case any of my A-Team failed me in a match and they where a plastic Star Wars one that had “Han Solo” on it and for good measure I brought the worst slammer in the world called “Bad News” that featured a Grim Reaper on the front and was a medium plastic one that had no grace or style. Below is a picture of my Slammer Team and the back ups.

Pog Slammer Team 2016

Juliet and I showed up ready for battle as my Slammer Team was about to be put to the test as the competition all seemed ready with their chosen Slammers. My first opponent was my good friend Jeremy Hoyt and my slammers of choice were Butthead and Bad News and with a semi quick match I won and moved on in the tournament thanks mostly to Butthead who was a slamming beats! The Second round I faced Stephen Basile a really nice guy whom I have meet through my cousin Stephen with the same slammer combo I started out strong but by the end of the battle Basile smoked me and gave me my first loss. But with this loss I was not out of the game as I dropped to the lower bracket and would have to earn my way back into the race for the trophy and the $10.00 prize, my third match was against Justin Barlow and this was one epic pog match as we ended up at a tie and had to go into sudden death the first of the night, just barely I was able to pull off the win thanks to slammers Butthead and Jaws! Moving back up my opponent was Charles “Bubba” Walters who is my uncle and Stephen’s dad and I must say I really stunk in this match and Charles made quick work of me as Butthead and Jaws really failed to deliver and with this loss I was out of the running to win. Juliet however beat her first round opponent Jennifer Barlow and then forfeited her spot as she had to bartend at her second job….yeah she left the game. But this was a blast and I am hoping that Stephen decides to do this again next year as I for one would enter again and try even harder to win a torphy and bring it back here to show off on Rotten Ink. For those wondering who won the rundown is this Josh Weinberg won 3rd place, Charles “Bubba” Walters won 2nd place and the 1st place winner was Theresa Lopez! And the best part about it was that Theresa didn’t lose one match she cleaned house and is one amazing pog player! Oh I should also say that other players that have not been mentioned yet who entered and played were Thomas “Maurice” Smith, Garrison Kane, Ashley Knox, Nate Stevens, Dan Lopez and Spencer Lucas all great Pog warriors who made the event even more fun!

Pog 2016 thrid place WeinbergPog 2016 second place BubbaPog 2016 Champ Theresa Lopez

On February 3rd 2016, a quest to visit a Haunted location was on the books and Josh Weinberg and I traveled to Camp Chase Cemetery, a Civil War graveyard that houses over two thousand confederate soldiers who were prisoners of the war, many of whom died from smallpox and lack of food. After the war, the camp became mostly a forgotten cemetery with cheap wood makers placed for tombstones with no care the site started to fall into shambles. It was not until 1895 that the poor souls buried at Camp Chase got the proper respect as retired Union Colonel William Knauss took it upon himself to lead an effort to restore the site and give the soldiers stone tombstone markers as well as held a memorial service for those who were buried there. By 1902 a new stone wall was built around the cemetery as well as a statue of a rebel solider above a boulder with the simple word American on the archway. The ghost that is said to haunt the area is Louisiana Rainsburgh Briggs aka Lady In Grey who is said to have been in love with a solider that died and is buried there named Benjamin F. Allen a private from the 50th Tennessee Regiment, and it’s said you can see this woman in grey wonder around the tombstones and cry at the grave of Private Allen as well as leave flowers for her lost love. On this day the weather outside was sunny with a cool breeze blowing as it was in the upper 50’s when finding the cemetery the first thing I noticed is that it sat between a home and a closed for the season ice cream shop with a school being behind it. We parked at a nearby BP Gas Station and walked to the iron gates and entered and noticed that the area was way smaller than we expected, we walked the among the tombstones looking for Ben Allen’s tombstone and when finding it we first noticed that no flowers were at the grave, we then waited around hoping to see or hear the Lady In Grey and all we could hear was the mass amounts of traffic that was driving on the busy street the cemetery is on. As we left we both agreed that while the area was amazing for the history aspect as a haunted location it was lacking as the noise of the busy city killed the element of atmosphere and the Lady In Grey was nowhere in sight. Fun trip over all and great place to visit and see a history landmark, check out some pictures I took below including the grave of Ben F. Allen!

Camp Chase GatesBen Allen Grave at Camp ChaseCamp Chase Graves

After the long yet fun holiday season and the tragic loss of my cousin Norman D., I decided that once more Juliet and I needed to have a Horror Movie Marathon to unwind from the stresses of work and the post holiday blues so Tuesday February 9th 2016 became the date with horror film destiny. We decided to do a pre-show Monday night and we started off with the cheesy film “Guru, The Mad Monk” about a crazed monk and his vampire girlfriend and hunchback assistant who all run a church where the guilty go to die.  Throw in a love story between one of the jailers and a woman from his past, and you have this no budget cheesefest. “Teenage Slumer Party Massacre” is about some girls having a sleepover on Spring Break and being stalked by a goof in a old man mask wielding a power drill.  This one was a real stinker! To my surprise. Juliet enjoyed Guru, and we shared lots of laughs about its terrible yet fun nature. Teenage Slumber Party Massacre was a complete bore and could have been best summed up with cute girls talking about guys and hotdogs with very little slasher action, super lame. After the films, I read a couple of comics and went to bed with visions of horror films in my head.

At 7am Tuesday we started the event and as always loaded up on snack foods and prepared Breakfast Casarole and made slow cooked a roast in the crockpot for dinner. The film to kick it all off was a Universal film called “Night Monster” thats stars Bela Lugosi and Lionel Atwill and is about a mansion that holds murder and mystery when doctors end up dead while staying with a patient they left crippled. The 2nd film of the day was the zero budget film called “Alien Beasts” that is about enter dimensional beings attacking Earth and a group of government agents that try and stop them. The 3rd haunting flick was “Amityville Theater” about a young woman who’s parents have died and she inharites they old theater only to find out like everything in Amityville the ghosts and demons don’t rest! The under rated slasher “Alice Sweet Alice” was the 4th film of the day and is about a murder of a young girl that is blamed on her sister, but did she really do it? Paul Naschy as the Mummy Amenhotep was in the 5th film of the day called “The Mummy’s Revenge”, a Horror Movie Marathon is just not the same without a Naschy film But sadly we did not get to finish Mummy’s Revenge as two different copies of the film on DVD-R’s had such bad digital breakup that the film would freeze, DVD-R’s really suck and anytime we have had issues at a marathon it has been with films on this format, for shame that it had to be the Nachey film that had issues. The 6th film of the day “Born Of Earth” is about creatures that live in the ground and steal people and one mans fight for the truth about his missing children. Movie # 7 was the Full Moon Entertainment flick “The Dead Want Women” thats about 1920’s silent actors who were murdered by a fellow actor return to to life during present day to find sexy ladies. “The Reeker” was the 8th film of the marathon and is a monster slasher film about a group of friends out of gas in the desert and a foul smelling ghoul with death on it’s mind is stalking them one by one. The 9th film is a guilty pleasure film for me called “Rocktober Blood” about a 80’s Hairband Singer who slashes his friends from beyond the grave or is he? Number 10 keeps the slasher theme as its “Cinco De Mayo” about a killer in a Mexican skull mask killing collage kids who don’t want to learn about heritage. Another slasher film called “The Mutilation Man” was the 11th movie and was about a killer getting revenge on some people that got away with a crime from the past, also this is not to be confused with with Andy Copp’s film of the same name. The 12th and final film of the night was “Daughter of Dr. Jekyll” that follows the Daughter of Henry Jekyll who is battling her families curse that is mixed with the werewolf folklore and makes you wonder is the curse real or is someone trying to drive her mad!

Another great Horror Movie Marathon in the history books and it was the pefect way to combat a day that was filled with snow and cold winds! As always, after the films Juliet and I sat and chatted about the films of the day and picked our worst and top 3 best of the day.  This was a pretty tough one as I enjoyed many of the films we watched. For me the turkey of the bunch was The Mutilation Man as I found it to be boring and kind of bland in terms of the reveal of the killer’s identity.  The gore worked pretty well, and the acting was okay’ for this films budget level. Juliet’s Golden Turkey of the day went to Alien Beasts as she felt it made no sense and was too scattered to be entertaining. My top three list goes like this: # 1 hands down is Alice Sweet Alice, a film I grew up watching on TBS and find to be a great slasher with twists and turns and some great creepy moments. # 2 goes to Rocktober Blood, a film I have been a fan of since I was a teenager.  The music rocks, the story is silly, and the killer Billy Eye is so cheesy they should name a shredded cheese after him! And # 3 has to go to Daughter of Dr. Jeykll, a great classic black and white horror film that captures the mood and feeling of the book the film’s characters spawned from. Plus a femele version of Mr. Hyde who is represented as a werewolf is some great early horror film stuff even if they were just nightmares. But I also really enjoyed The Reeker, Night Monster and The Mummy’s Revenge that would have taken the # 3 spot it we were able to finish it. Juliet’s Top 3 went like this: # 1 Alice Sweet Alice, # 2 Cinco De Mayo and her # 3 was Rocktober Blood with The Reeker coming very close to making her list. Once more this was a great way to unwind, and I am looking forward to the next big one I will be holding in April, and of course when it’s over I will cover it here on Rotten Ink.

Guru The Mad Monk DVDTeenage Slumber Party Nightmare DVDNight Monster DVDAlien Beasts DVDThe Amityville Theater DVDAlice Sweet Alice DVDThe Mummy's Revenge DVDBorn Of Earth DVDThe Dead Want Woman DVDReeker dvdRocktober Blood dvdCinco De Mayo dvdThe Mutilation Man 2011 DVDDaughter Of Dr. Jekyll DVD

One film that I would love to see be turned into a comic book that’s also about sorority girls is Evil Toons.  It was released in 1992, directed by Fred Olen Ray and stars David Carradine, Dick Miller and a ton of beautiful woman like Michelle Bauer, Monique Gabrielle, Susanne Ager and my favorite of the bunch Madison Stone. I first saw this film when my brother and I rented it on VHS from K&L Video in Kettering, and from the start, I found myself loving this film and went and found it on VHS to buy. It’s about a demon who is accidentally unleashed from a spell book by four sorority girls who have been hired to clean a old big house before the new owners move in. The demon, who is a cartoon, attacks and kills the girls and anyone else silly enough to get in his way. This is a perfect source for a mini-series of comics that has the book of spells being delivered once more to a wrong address, this time a sorority house filled with all types of college babes.  On Halloween night, they all have a mass sleepover where they watch horror films, eat junk food and by mistake read a spell that sets the demon free, and it runs loose in the dorm killing and possessing as many young woman as he can! The lead in the series would be a sweet woman who grew up in a small town and was taught not to mess with evil and her knowledge is what keeps the few who live alive! The comic would be part horror and part comedy and have enough blood and nudity to please fans of the film. And if they really wanted to spice things up you could mix Evil Toons with Ghoulies and have mayhem at the college as both set of demons try to out do each other in the kill department. If this comic was to get made I would like to see Fred Olen Ray’s own company Retromedia release a line of comics based on his movies, and if one of my friends were to tackle this project I would say Bruce O’Hughes or Damien Brunk as both would understand the cheesy sleazy nature of the comic. Maybe Ray is reading this update (doubtful) and will like the idea and make a comic based on this film as well as his other work come alive…

Evil Toons 1Evil Toons VHSEvil Toons 2

So while I have the chance, I should also talk about Madison Stone from Evil Toons as I won’t get the chance to for any other update, and with the lack of info about actresses from The Vampire Conspiracy, this seems like the best time. Madison Stone was born on January 12th 1965 in Miami, Florida and started her acting career in adult films where she ended up starring in over 100 titles with such classic names as Jail Babes, The Anus Family and Voodoo Vixens. Her adult film career was so big, she is a member of the AVN Hall of Fame, and in 1993 she was voted XRCO Fan Favorite! Madison went on to be in “mainstream” movies like Evil Toons in 1992 and Daylight in 1996 alongside Sylvester Stallone! Madison continued to appear in adult films until 2004 when she retired. She is known for her raven dark hair and now for her tattoos and piercings, even having one named after her The Madison Piercing that’s at the front of her neck! She is now a tattoo artist and owns her own shop in California called “Madison Tattoo Shoppe” and sings in bands like Kiss The Monkey and Four Ugly Women. Even now at the age of 51, she is as stunning as the first time I saw her in Evil Toons! If I ever were to make another independent horror film and had a good budget and she was willing to come out of retirement, I would for sure cast her as well as it would be cool to have her on a episode of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre. Check out some classic pictures of her below.

Madison Stone 1Madison Stone 2Madison Stone 3

The Vampire Conspiracy is directed by Geoffrey de Valois and was released in 1995 to the direct to VHS market as filler for ma & pa video rental stores around the good old USA. The film starred such talents as Heather Lemire, Liddy Roley, Barbara Savage and Jasmine Jean and is clearly a softcore film sprinkled with horror elements as the plot is about cyber vampires selecting a collage sorority to be their breeding slaves…this film reeks of pure sleazy cheese and to be honest while I have seen the cover box on video store shelves and on the pages of Alternative Cinema Magazine, I never took a chance at renting or buying it as it looks like it’s terrible. That’s the thing that younger people who didn’t have the joys of walking around a good well stocked video store will never have, the memories of walking around and looking at all the cover boxes and wondering what film awaited you on the VHS tape or DVD disc. Reading this comic will be the first time I have had any contact with this film so I am pretty hyped to see how it stacks up against the likes of Lust For Frankenstein, Tender Flesh and Mari-Cookie in quality and enjoyment. Before I even open this book, I want to make a few predictions on what this photo comic will showcase and that’s lots of bare female breasts and terrible lines of seduction. Below is the VHS Cover as well as the only still from the flick I could unearth on Google. Another thing I could not find much on was the actresses, so sadly no showcase on any of them.

The Vampire Conspiracy VHSThe Vampire Conspiracy still 1The Vampire Conspiracy Vampire

So we covered The Sadness, Evil Toons, a recent Horror Movie Marathon, a POG Tournament and took a look at the film for The Vampire Conspiracy so now I think it’s time we let the cyber vampires feast! The clouds have uncovered the moon and the dust has settled, as I am proud to say Rotten Ink is at the final issue of the Draculina Photo comic series as I have finally gotten my hands on The Vampire Conspiracy thanks to Ebay! Before I dive into this photo comic I should remind you that I am grading this issue on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comic stays to the source material, its entertainment value and its art and story. So if you’re ready to battle some large chested cyber vampires, we should jump right into this review with garlic and some holy motor oil!

The Vampire Conspiracy 1

The Vampire Conspiracy # 1  *1/2
Released in 1998    Cover Price $4.95    Draculina    #2 of 4

Lisa is a strange woman who wants to join The Beta Sorority and is at the beach with the girls who all dislike her because they find her odd. But things are cut short when a vampire woman named Jana attacks and kidnaps some of the sorority girls to take to the Vampire HQ so that they can be breed with vampire DNA and the mindless offspring can be used as slaves. The lead vampire also runs a adult video company and makes vampire female centerfold videos, as Jana tortures the prisoners. As Lisa is dealing with her personal issues, the video that’s sent out is a way for the vampires to turn some viewers into vampires who have a trait in their blood, and shocker, Lisa turns out to be just that person.  After killing the coeds that teased her, she heads to Vampire HQ and decides that she wants to be the Queen of the Sorority and saves her fellow students and kills the Vampire King with a cross! In the end she is still a vampire as is her friends, and they decide to open a new all female vampire sorority.

Yep, this is what I thought it would be: page after page of naked boobs and a story that is as weak as ice melting in the hot summer sun. So the “plot” of this stinker is vampires want to use young woman as breeders for hybrids that will be used as slaves, and they are using all types of ways to turn people into vampires including a VHS tape that has the power to make people turn.  It’s up to the oddball girl to chose between saving her fellow coeds or joining the King of the Vampires. The main character is Lisa, a pretty woman who wants to be voted queen of her sorority and feels like she never fits in.  She is turned into a vampire by the video and kills those who tormented her and even takes out the Vampire Queen! Is Lisa a good person…no not at all as she kills her fellow coeds as well as her shrink in cold blood. The Vampire King who is the main bad guy is pretty lame and mostly barks orders, makes love to his assistant and gets his ass kicked really easy in a fight with Lisa. Lana is a sexy vampire in leather who gets joy in torturing her prisoners, but while she is badass in beating up humans, she as well goes down like a chump. The rest of the characters are all disposable and add nothing but pairs of boobs to the story. While the woman are nice to look at, the photos put together loosely make a story and for the most part this is a very forgettable read. After this photo comic I don’t think I would ever really track down the film to watch as I didn’t enjoy what I saw and read here. Not much more to say; vampires and boobs are cool, but that only takes a photo comic so far.

Vampire Conspiracy Art 1

So that’s the end of the Draculina Photo Comics, and I must say it ended the way I thought it would and that’s on a low note! While photo comics are a good idea and Draculina was onto something that could have been an amazing idea, I think they chose the wrong films to do this with as the films they gave this treatment already had weak stories and became even weaker when squeezed into a comic. But let’s wash the taste of this vampire comic out of our mouths as our next update will take a look at the Queen of Horror Hosts, the one and only Vampira! So until then read a comic or three and enjoy being around your loved ones.

Vampira Logo 0

Ashes To Ashes Burial By Rats

Well this was suppose to be Ghosts of Dracula, but I misplaced the final issue so you get…RATS….. Thousands…. Millions Of Them! All Red Blood! All these will I give you if you only read Rotten Ink! That might not be the exact quote Renfield gave in the 1931 film version of Dracula for Universal Pictures, but it was close. Growing up I liked rodents, and even had two as pets that I got from my neighbor when they were tiny babies when her pet mouse had a litter. They both were little females; one was grey with a white side strip and underbelly who was called Grey Man while the other was just solid white with red eyes and her name was White Man…yeah for some reason my brother and I decided that little female baby mice looked like little people so they got nicknamed men. They were my buddies, and I used to hang out with them all the time as they were well behaved and when letting them run free in my room they never wanted or even tried to escape. Both of them had things they liked to do with me. White Man loved to fall asleep in my lap or on my shoulder while I read comics, books or magazines while Grey Man was all about me playing NES games and would spend time watching the lights on the screen. Both of them were so gentle, and I never once was bitten by either nor was anyone else I let pick them up.  They were perfect pets and well loved by me and my family. They would even take sunflower seeds from your hand and would be so gentle. Sadly as those of you long time readers remember, White Man passed away from a tumor while I was away at camp and Grey Man passed away a short time later. They both lived a long life, and I loved them both equally and miss them as they truly were perfect. I know you’re probably thinking it’s silly that I cared this much for mice, but to me they were just like the cats and dogs I owned, a part of my family. Some time passed before I got another mouse, and when I did I got him from Jack’s Aquarium and Pets.  He was a black and white male named Ben, and yes, he was named after the film that I had seen a number of times on TBS and was even hosted by Grandpa Munster on Super Scary Saturday. Ben was a good little guy.  While moody, he still never bit me and for the most part was chill.  Ben, however, was always trying to escape his cage and would even climb his water bottle and try and push the lid off the cage…he never got away, but man he tried. Ben was very different from Grey and White as he would not sit still for long and only time he would was when he would be on my bed and get warm and fall asleep. After Ben passed away, my next tiny rodent pet was a Hamster called SPG named after the Hamster from the BBC show The Young Ones, and man he was mean and liked to bite even when he was happy! Below are some pictures I took of White Man and Ben, and while a Grey Man one was taken, it was so blurry that it would not scan well.  Sorry, I know these two are bad as well, but I took them when I was a kid.

White ManBen Mouse

In 1995, New Concorde Pictures released a film to cable TV and video called “Bram Stoker’s Burial Of The Rats.”  The film was produced by Roger Corman, the master of the B-movie, and was directed by Dan Golden.  It was based on a story by you guessed it Bram Stoker and adapted to screen by a total of 4 writers. The film follows a young Bram Stoker as he is taken prisoner by a rouge group of female bandits called The Rat Women who are ruled by a flute playing queen and seven white mice whose tails are tied called The King. The twisted tale is to show how and why Bram went on to become of the world’s most famous horror story writers. The film stars Kevin Alber, Adrienne Barbeau, Maria Ford, Olga Kabo and in smaller roles actresses Nikki Fritz and Linnea Quigley who each played Rat Women. Now I can remember this on VHS sitting on the shelf of K&L Video and the poster hanging on the wall of the video store for awhile and always trying to get my brother to rent it because it had Maria Ford in it who I really liked at the time but I will get into that more later.  My brother always shot it down and said that it looked boring and would then go for films like Deadtime Stories or Don’t Go Into The Woods. So it would be years after it’s release before I would see it, and I found the film entertaining and goofy and must say Maria Ford looks fantastic as a warrior woman. The film performed badly with critics and fans, and as of 2014 it has a 4.1 out of 10 stars on IMDB. But I don’t want to get too much into the plot of the film here, as the comics we will be covering from Cosmic are the adaptation of the film. But before we move on we will take a look at some of the lovely actresses that are in this film.

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Adrienne Barbeau started her career in entertainment in the 1960’s.  After being a Go-Go dancer, she landed some roles in theater in such musicals as Fiddler On The Roof, Grease, The Best Little Whore House In Texas and even a nudie musical called Stag Movie. She left the theater in the 70’s to become a TV star and took roles in such shows as Maude, Love Boat, Fantasy Island, All In The Family and even participated in The Battle Of The Network Stars. Along the way she married horror film director John Carpenter as well as posed for a high selling cheesecake poster that helped spark her rise as a sex symbol and was a topic for drive in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs who helped the actress gain more attention. In 1980 she starred in her first horror picture when she played the lead role in the film The Fog.  She went on to star in many other horror/sci-fi films over the years that include Escape From New York, Creepshow, Swamp Thing, Two Evil Eyes, Unholy and Burial Of The Rats. At this time she also took some roles in comedies that went on to become cult classics like Back To School, Father Hood, The Cannonball Run, Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle Of Death and Scooby-Doo On Zombie Island. Barbeau at the time of acting in films still do roles on TV with one of her biggest being the voice of Catwoman on Batman The Animated Series in the 1990’s, and speaking of her voice talent she also lent her pipes to a few video games like God of War III, Halo 4 and Batman: Arkham Asylum. As of 2014, Barneau is 69 years old and shows no signs of slowing down as she is still taking work in movies, TV and video games. Barbeau in acting is known for always playing the tough woman who has the take no crap attitude as well as for her large natural breasts. In the film Burial Of Rats, she plays Queen Rat.

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Olga Kabo is a Russian actress and theater performer who at a young age mastered the English language as well as dance and acting as she got her first major role by the age of 15. As she grew up she got more and more roles and became a very popular actress of Russian cinema and was the star in such films as Lysistrara Comedy, Burial Of The Rats and The Ice Runner becoming a sex symbol with these roles. Nowadays, at the age of 46 she spends most of her time acting on stage and still being a popular draw to fans who come to see her perform. In Burial Of The Rats, she plays Rat Woman Anna.

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In the 1990’s, one woman’s name stood out to me when it came to being in low budget horror and sleaze films and that name also marked another big celebrity crush for me. I first laid eyes on Maria Ford in the 1990 slasher film sequel “Slumber Party Massacre III” where she had darker hair and played the part of Maria. I quickly became a fan of the beauty and began buying her films from local video rental stores with the second film I saw of hers being  “Stripteaser” with many more to follow like “Showgirl Murders”, “Rain Killer”, “Deathstalker IV: Match of the Titans” and “The Unnamable II” to name a few. Something about the skinny blond haired Maria Ford drew me in and I was taken back on just how sexy girl next door she looked. I even got my friend Jason Gilmore to become a fan of hers and by watching her films he also found an actress that he became a fan of named Nikki Fritz. Around this time I would say one my favorite actress in these style of no budget films would be Maria Ford as well as J.J. North and Ariauna Albright, Charlie Spradling, Denice Duff and my top was Tina Krause. I spent so much time and money buying films that had her name on the cover box.  While many were terrible, it was okay because I got to see Maria do her thing and act well even with poor scripts she was given. As I grew older Maria Ford’s roles became fewer and fewer, and the last major one I could remember coming out was one that was released to VHS when I worked at Blockbuster called “Perfect Fit” and that was a dark comedy. Maria Ford also went on to be in a bunch of Cinemax Soft-Core Adult titles and had small roles in many Hollywood films as the cute girl like in “Beethoven’s Fifth” and “The Addams Family Reunion”. She was also on TV with roles on 7th Heaven and The Drew Carey Show showing that Ford had a lot of talent. While over the years her appearance has changed, I still find myself a fan and would love to work with her sometime in my life.  Could you imagine her being in a Baron Von Porkchop episode…that would be epic! In Burial Of The Rats, she plays the lovely Rat Woman Madeleine. Oh and look at these pics below, and see why the young Matt Brassfield fell in love with Maria Ford! Also I want to say that she is not just an actress but she is also a model and dancer.

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From pet rodents to the beauty of Maria Ford, I think we are ready to tackle this comic series don’t you? Now I am sure your wondering why I did not talk about Bram Stoker and his writings, and the simple answer to that is I am going to really cover his career when I take a look at Topps Comics 4 issue run based on the Francis Ford Coppola film “Bram Stoker’s Dracula,” and to be honest I am really looking forward to that. Before I do I want to remind my readers I grade these issues on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comic stays to the source material, it’s entertainment value and it’s art and story. I also want to think Lone Star Comics for having all three of these issues in stock.  So with no more wait let’s go see what it’s like to be Buried Like A Rat!

Burial Of The Rats 1

Burial Of The Rats # 1   **1/2
Released in 1995    Cover Price $2.50    Cosmic Comics    #1 of 3

In 1854, a woman slits the throat of her abusive husband and flees into the sewers where she finds a nest of young rats and is happy to become their Queen. Years pass and it’s now 1864 as Bram Stoker and his father are traveling by coach when their driver is killed by rats, and they are attacked by hooded figures.  During the attack Bram kills one of the assailants and is knocked out and taken to a castle where he is to be judged by The Queen and as for the father he is left knocked out in the middle of the woods. While captured Bram finds that his two capturers are beautiful woman.  Anna has dark hair and a mean spirit, and Madeleine, who is blonde, seems to have a touch of compassion in her. Bram is sentenced to death by a pendulum that he is tied to and after each woman takes turns hitting a switch with a hammer he is lowered deeper and deeper into a pit that holds blood thirsty rats! Anna has the honor of the first hit and Madeleine is to deliver the last which she does half heartedly sparing Bram’s life! Bram is thrown back into his prison cell, and it’s clear that both the Rat Queen and Anna want him dead but Madeleine seems to want to spare his life knowing that he only killed one of their “sisters” trying to protect his father. It’s clear that a bond is happening between Bram and Madeleine as she brings him his book and even bathes him with a wet cloth, but Anna and The Queen have other plans as they want Bram to come along on a raid with the hope of him trying to escape so that they can kill him! As Bram is being prepared for the raid, his father who is tired and beat up makes his way to help…

The first thing I want to say about this comic is the mood is just right and has a real sleazy Roger Corman feel to it. This issue follows a young Bram Stoker way before he wrote Dracula or any of his other horror stories as he becomes a prisoner to The Rat Queen, a crazy woman who plays a flute that controls the city’s rats as well rules over a group of warrior women. Bram Stoker, who is the main focus of this series, is by no means a man’s man in this issue and in fact is shocked when he shoots one of the hooded attackers and after doing so is quickly beat down. Even if he is no Lone Ranger or Tarzan, I find myself cheering for him to survive this bad situation. Madeleine, who was once a prostitute who was forced into being one when her family was murdered, is still a pure and loving woman who is clearly hiding behind a warrior’s attitude. Anna however has nothing but hate in her heart, as she was once a slave who was beaten with whips by a high-ranking village official  While she is a bad girl, I really like the character who you know is also clearly in love with Madeleine. The Rat Queen is a crazy old bat who gets joy in killing men and bossing rats around.  She is clearly one of those characters that you hope meets a very horrible end. The Rat King is pretty kick butt as its seven white rats whose tails are all locked together.  They all wear crowns and love flute music. I must say that so far this adaptation is starting off right because this first issue is very entertaining and is making me looking forward to the second issue. The art of the comic is great and has most the characters looking like the actors that played them in the film and is done by Francisco Solano Lopez who should have been hired to do many more horror movie themed comics! The cover is just a blown up image taken from the films VHS cover box and the poster used to promote the film. So let’s get back to the story and see if Bram tries to flee on the raid or it he will stay and try to be with the lovely Madeleine.

Burial Of The Rats 2

Burial Of The Rats # 2   **1/2
Released in 1995    Cover Price $2.50    Cosmic Comics    #2 of 3

Bam traveled along with the Rat Women as they entered the village and killed all the priests inside the church stealing all the gold and letting the rats eat the flesh off their victims. Bram leaves a blood smeared note in an open book for his father and heads back to the castle with the Rat Women. Madeleine steals a pen and paper and brings it to Bram in his cell and he starts to write about his time with them and talks of the raid he just witnessed. The next day as Bram is reading his writings to Madeleine, Anna over hears it and reports it to the Rat Queen who sneaks up on this happening.  To Anna’s shock, the Queen likes what she is hearing/reading and allows Bram to continue his book in hopes that when it comes out it will make all men fear them! When Bram and Madeleine are alone they confess their love for one another and make love, but that night Bram also has a nightmare that has everyone on the castle turning into Rat People! At dinner Madeleine brings Bram to the feast and he talks The Queen into another raid to save a 12-year-old girl who was busted for stealing and as punishment was sent to work at the whore house.  Anna is against the raid as she feels it’s to soon after the attack on the church by they go ahead and do it anyway. Bram enters the whore house and looks for the young girl and when he finds her a fat slob of a man is in with her, he deals with the man as Anna and Madeleine make their way into the room via the window and all together they save the young girl and the rats have a feats on the fat mans flesh. The raid does not go off without it’s downsides as the madam of the house runs to the police and a witness sees the women and hears them call Bram’s name! As they flee back to their home Madeleine is captured, and Bram is believed to be the ruler of the Rat Women by the police!

Oh the horror of watching rats eat the flesh off of dying men…no, really it’s a pretty cool scene for this second issue in the adaptation. This issue’s main focuses are the fact Bram’s writings have saved him, and he is in love with one of the Rat Women.  They do another raid too soon but it’s all for a good reason to save a young woman and Bram proves that he will do the write thing and is a huge help in the raid and lastly that Bram’s father has not given up on finding his son alive. Bram in this issue while still not a tough guy like Wonder Man or STEEL he is very smart and uses what little power he is gaining from respect from The Rat Queen to his own advantages. I love the fact that he could have easily tried to escape during the second raid but knew that saving the young girl was the more important thing to do. Madeleine is truly a warrior with a heart and while loyal to her fellow Rat Women love is also on her mind. The Rat Queen while crazy also seems to know right from wrong and in a weird way by this issue you as the reader start to wonder who the real bad guys are, given the fact everyone they have murdered has been a terrible person! Anna is filled with not only hate this issue but also jealousy as its clear she wants the affections of Madeleine and despises the fact Bram is getting it and not her. The issue is filled with more rats eating the skin off men’s bones as well as has Anna blowing the neck off a priest who has been molesting women in the church, all gruesome stuff that the horror comic fan in me was very happy to see. The art once more is done by Lopez and is fantastic, but his time around the cover is a little weak and kind of generic or better yet I should say is good for a pin up but not a main cover. Well at this point we have one more issue to go, and then we will be at the end of Bram Stoker’s adventures with the Rat Women.  I don’t know about you, but I really can’t wait to see how this one ends.  So let’s not waste time and dive right in and hope we don’t get eaten alive by the rats.

Burial Of The Rats 3

Burial Of The Rats # 3   **1/2
Released in 1995    Cover Price $2.50    Cosmic Comics    #3 of 3

The Rat Queen and the Rat Women return to the castle and are happy about the night’s raid, but word comes quick that Madeleine has been captured and that one of the other Rat Women is dead! Bram is upset by this news and so is Anna, and the two argue in front of The Rat Queen.  To prove his loyalty to the Rat Women he must pass two tests to be one of them: the first test is to drink the blood of Anna and the second one will be decided by Anna after they rescue Madeleine.  They all rush off to do so and clash with prison guards and army soldiers alike, but the rats and The Rat Women are successful.  This rescue also has some downsides as Bram saves Anna from her old “master” by killing him before he killed her and thus robbing her of her revenge, and second Anna, unbeknownst to anyone else, knocks out and kidnaps Bram’s father! Back to the castle Madeleine is weak but still gets up to watch Bram’s final test set before him by Anna, to stab and kill his own father! When he refuses Anna pulls out a gun and is about to shoot them both, just as she pulls the trigger Madeleine jumps in front of her man and takes the bullet! Anna is tore up that she just shot the woman she loves so she commits suicide and as this happens the army has shown up and attacks the castle killing many of the Rat Women and even Rat Queen dies when she kills the Captain and breaks her flute causing the Rat King and his fellow rats to attack and kill her. In the end Bram, his father and the body of Madeleine escape the castle that is burning and Bram knows now more than ever he must become a writer.

It’s a love triangle that is built on blood, teeth and romance and sadly we all know that for one person it’s not going to end well…and that person is Bram as the rage of Anna leads to Madeleine’s death and then the raven haired beauty commits suicide.  He is robbed of his love and even revenge. This issue brings the whole story to an end and focuses on the rescue and untimely death of Madeleine and shows what events cause a young Bram Stoker to write his classic horror stories like Dracula. Bram in the issue also shows that when pushed he will fight back and kill if he has to, his love for Madeleine was strong so strong that he was willing to throw away his old life to become a full member of The Rat Women. Madeleine in the issue is pretty much at death’s door from the start as she starts off the issue a prisoner where she is being tortured for answers and when rescued she is weak and then gets shot! Poor woman, all she wanted was true love with her soul mate. Anna is a sad case as she really does love Madeleine, and it’s clear to me as a reader that they had something going on before Bram showed up and stole her away. Plus I feel bad for her because she so wanted revenge on the man who beat her when she was a slave but Bram as well took that away from her. Mr. Stoker, Bram’s father, is kind of just a pawn in the story and while he plays a part in how the story unfolds, he just kind of was a background player in terms of how much impact he had on me. Rat Queen turned out to be all right, and all she really wanted in life was to be free of man’s world where women were treated lower than the rats she commanded.  It’s a fitting end for her as she is eaten alive by her King and all the other rats she once commanded. By the end of this issue, it seems as if the men of the evil world around them win as the castle is on fire, the Queen is dead as are many of the other Rat Women making one truly wonder if the right side won. The art by Lopez captures the feeling of the low budget film so well you almost wish the series would have continued with more adventures of young Bram Stoker and what’s left of the Rat Women.  The cover on the last issue as well is pretty good and reminds me of some of the covers used by Eternity for their comic based on The Puppet Master films. Over all this series held true to the film and was entertaining enough that it kept my interest during every issue. If you’re a fan of Bram Stoker, horror comics, the film itself and even comics like Red Sonja and Kull The Conquer then I would say you should check this comic series out. Below are some samples of the artwork used in the comic.

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The three issue comic adaptation of the low budget Roger Corman film is packed with blood and gore, a pretty interesting story and characters that are entertaining and capture your interest and for that Cosmic Comics gets a big thumbs up from this comic reader for being able to turn a so-so film into a enjoyable comics. The one thing that is off is while the characters of Madeleine and Anna look like actresses Maria Ford and Olga Kabo, the Rat Queen looks nothing like Adrienne Barbeau as in the comic she looks like a 99-year-old hag! Cosmic also did a few more series based on Roger Corman films like Little Shop of Horrors, Death Race, Caged Heat and Rock N Roll High School and at some point on here I will be sure to cover them.  I would also like to dedicate this update to Roger Corman for being the man when it comes to making and producing B-Movies and to Maria Ford for being a very underrated actress. So next update I am thinking we will take some time away from comics and do another Horror Host Icon, and this time around I think I am going to take a look at the world’s youngest Horror Host Dr. Freak! So make sure to come back for that one as I am sure you’ll learn a thing or two about this zany horror host! So until then read a comic or two and enjoy a B-Movie!

Dr. Freak Logo

The Saw Is Law Here at Rotten Ink!

For the second Halloween update I had a hard time choosing what comic series to do. I thought to myself, should I pick one of Marvel’s classic horror titles like Tombs of Dracula or Werewolf by Night.  Then I thought, why not do something from Dead Dog Comics or Fangoria Comics, two horror comic companies that disappeared way before they should have and had a lot to offer in the comic world in my opinion.  But finally I decided to stick to a film adaptation of a classic horror film, and I was torn between Psycho and Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.  While Psycho is the better film by far, I chose to go with Leatherface because I felt the need to speak about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre this Halloween season. I first saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my brother when I was young as he bought it on VHS from Half Priced Books and hyped it up to me as one of the first slasher films made.  My expectations were high as we watched it and after that first viewing I was not as impressed as he was. I was still very much into the classic black and white horror film stuff, and I just felt while Leatherface was scary he still was just a man. Now being older I see that Leatherface being just a man is way more scary then The Wolf Man who is a unreal creature because people like Leatherface are real and are the true terrors that walk among us. But even in my teens I grew to to respect the film and what it had done for the world of horror films.  Not to mention I truly thought star Marilyn Burns was a super fox! So with that let’s first take a look at the real life killer that inspired Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel, and then we will look a little deeper into each Chainsaw film among other things as we travel to the heart of Texas on this October night and stop along the way for some good old BBQ and remember The Saw is Family.  Fair warning, this update will have spoilers.

The Saw is Family

Edward Theodore “Ed” Gein is a killer from Plainfield, Wisconsin who killed two known females and may have killed others including his own brother. Ed, who was attached to his mother, slipped into madness after her death in 1945 and took to digging up bodies from the local cemetery and making not only furniture from the bones and skin but also a suit that was made up of human flesh to make himself into a woman. Ed’s first victim was Mary Hogan, a saloonkeeper that he killed with a shotgun in 1954.  His second victim was hardware store owner Bernice Worden who was also shot in her store.  Both women were dragged back to his farmhouse where they were cut up, skinned and treated like cattle at a slaughterhouse. Ed not only was a grave robber but he also took part in cannibalism as he ate pieces of his victims. Ed was busted for the second murder and was sentenced to life in an asylum where he died in 1984 from respiratory failure at the age of 77. The Gein’s farm house was set on fire, and his truck was sold to a carnival where people paid a quarter to see it after his death. Ed’s tombstone is the target for vandals and thieves as pieces are broken off for keepsakes and graffiti placed on it. As I have stated, Gein was only convicted and only admitted to two murders but there was the possibilities of many more including his brother who was found dead years before on the property during a controlled burn.  The authorities ruled that he died from asphyxiation from the smoke but wounds were found around his skull leaving some to wonder if Ed had attacked and murdered him. Ed also has been the inspiration for many Hollywood bad guys like Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Norman Bates from Psycho, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and Ezra Cobb from Deranged. Not to mention Ed has had a few bio films based on him and has had such actors as Kane Hodder and Steve Railsback step into the role of portraying him. To this day Ed Gein seems to catch the attention of many true crime followers and seems to never be forgotten as his name lives on in film, comics and songs.

ED Gein Movie DVDEd GeinED Gein DVD

Let’s take a look at the films of Texas Chainsaw Massacre….and these do have spoilers! I will include standard 1-4 star rating as the end of each small write up.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Sally Hardesty, her wheelchair bound brother Franklin, her boyfriend Jerry and friends Kirk and Pam are on a road trip through Texas in 1973 to see if their grandfather’s grave has been disturbed by a rash of grave robbers and to go to their family’s old home that is now in ruins. Along the way, they pick up a crazed hitchhiker who attacks Franklin before being booted from the van. They also meet a gas station owner named W.E who warns them not to go to the old house and warns them his station is out of gas. The group doesn’t listen and heads for the farm where their fun and games turn into a nightmare as a killer known as Leatherface (because he wears human skin as a mask) picks them off one by one. Leatherface uses all his tools of the trade to dispose of the teens like his trusty hammer, chainsaw and meat hooks. Finally Sally is the only one left alive and comes face to face with the true horror of Leatherface and his deranged brothers that include W.E., the hitchhiker and their wheelchair bound blood-drinking Grandpa who was a slaughterhouse worker. Sally is chased, beaten and forced to have a cannibal dinner with the family before she tries to escapes the madness with her life as Leatherface with chainsaw and hitchhiker with straight razor are in hot pursuit. In the end the hitchhiker is smashed by a semi truck, Leatherface takes his own chainsaw to the leg and Sally escapes with her life but not her mind. 4 Stars!

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II – Stretch is a DJ for a popular rock radio station that captures the deaths of two callers on her request line by the killer known as Leatherface. In town, Lefty Enright, uncle to Sally and Franklin Hardesty and a former ranger, wants to capture and kill those responsible for the murders taking place in Texas. The Sawyer clan now lives in an abandoned amusement park, and the Cook (Drayton) is now in the catering business selling his human BBQ and chili all around town and soon at the big football game. But when Lefty talks Stretch into playing the kill call live on the air, she and her coworker L.G. become the targets of Leatherface and his brother Chop-Top (a vet with a metal plate in his head) who want the tape and want them dead. The attack leaves Stretch’s co-worker at death’s door and Leatherface with a crush on her, which saves her life. The Sawyer clan heads home as Lefty and Stretch follow and get lost in the maze. Stretch is found and forced to eat dinner with the family as Leatherface’s new “girlfriend.” Meanwhile Lefty spends time trying to bring the whole place down. After he finds Stretch and saves her from the hammer what follows is a showdown between a crazed family of killers and a crazed man who lost it all when his family was taken away. The result is chainsaw duels, hammer blows to the head, the return of the blood-drinking Grandpa, the hitchhiker’s corpse as a puppet and the death of many of the Sawyer family. 3 1/2 Stars!

leatherface_2Texas Chainsaw Massacre pt 2 posterleatherface pt 2!

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III – Michelle and Ryan are driving cross-country and made the mistake of driving through Texas as another Sawyer body pit has been found. It throws them off the normal highway and to the Last Chance Gas Station run by a pervert named Alfredo Sawyer who gets into a fight with a hitchhiker named Tex after he catches him peeping on Michelle as she uses the restroom. Before Tex is “gunned” down for being a hero, he tells them to take a back road that leads to a run-in with Leatherface and an accident with a survivalist named Benny. With no cars and no hope, the three along with a crazy young woman who has escaped the Sawyer clan become the prey as Leatherface and his brothers Tinker (a hook handed technology lover and tow truck driver), Tex (the hitchhiker) and Alfredo (the gas station owner) hunt them down and kill them for meat. Michelle is alive after the others are killed and taken to the Sawyer farm were she gets to meet Mama Sawyer, Grandpa and Leatherface’s young daughter. But when Benny, who’s not dead, comes to her aid the two must kill or be killed to stay alive. Do they make it out of Texas alive, and if so, what is left of them? 2 1/2 Stars!

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Next Generation – It’s prom night in 1994 as mousy Jenny, a young woman who is being abused by her mom’s boyfriend, is on her way to the prom with Sean and her friend Heather and Heather’s asshole boyfriend Berry. They get into a wreck in the backwoods of Texas and meet Vilmer Sawyer, a towtruck driver with a mechanical leg brace, Darla an insurance agent with fake boobs, W.E. a shotgun welding history quoting asshole and of course Leatherface. One by one, like before, the friends are killed off as Jenny is the only one left to spend a horrific dinner with the Sawyer clan, but this time it’s different as they spend time playing mind games and cat and mouse chases with her. Weirdly, they refer to all of this as a job given to them by a secret government agency. But strangely a man dressed in black, a clear member of the secret government agency named Rothman, shows up and yells at the family but lets the madness continue. Jenny escapes the house with Vilmer and Leatherface in pursuit as a plane swoops down from nowhere killing Vilmer and stopping Leatherface dead in his tracks. Jenny gets to a limo where Rothman apologies for all she has been through and drops her off at a local hospital where she sees a crazed Sally Hardesty. The two lock eyes as we end with Leatherface swinging his chainsaw as the sun sets. This film was also known as “Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. 2 stars!

Leatherface pt 4Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre posterleatherface pt 4!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre – In 1973 Erin, her boyfriend and a van full of friends are driving back home from Mexico and make the mistake of taking the backroads of Texas. After picking up a hitchhiker who blows her head off, they are lead to Sheriff Hoyt who makes them stay until this case can be closed. Erin and her friends soon learn that something is not right with the small almost abandoned town as everyone they meet seems a little off. When Erin’s boyfriend goes missing and becomes the first victim to Leatherface’s hammer, Erin and her friends start becoming human cattle to the Hewitt family that includes crazy Sheriff Hoyt, wheelchair bound Monty, little boy Jedediah and old lady Luda May. One by one the friends die. Erin is the last survivor who must escape her hellish nightmare, but before she does she saves a kidnapped baby, kills Sheriff Hoyt and chops off Leatherface’s arm. It ends with Erin driving off as a one-armed Leatherface makes one last attempt on her life. 2 1/2 Stars!

leatherface pt remake!!!texas chainsaw massacre remake posterleatherface pt remake

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning – In 1939 a deformed baby is born in a slaughterhouse and is quickly thrown away in the trash can out back where Luda May Hewitt rescues it and takes it home to raise as her own. Flash to 1969, and the small Texas town is dying as the baby grows up to be Thomas Hewitt, working for the very same slaughterhouse that threw him away just some 30 years before. Brothers Eric and Dean, along with their girlfriends Chrissie and Bailey are on their way to be dropped off to go to Vietnam as Thomas kills his old boss and his Uncle Charlie kills the sheriff to protect his nephew and becomes Sheriff Hoyt. The Hewitt family stays in the town and makes a vow that they will do whatever it takes to keep the family farm, including eating human flesh to never go hungry. Eric and crew get in a wreck as a female biker tries to rob them. This brings Sheriff Hoyt who kills the biker and takes Eric, Dean and Bailey under custody and to the Hewitt farm. Chrissie comes to the rescue with the help of the leader of the biker gang. But one by one they start meeting an end at the hands of Leatherface who ends up cutting Eric’s face off and taking off his leather strap mask to truly live up to what he is to become. Finally, after being caught and watching her loved ones get killed Chrissie escapes or so she thinks. 3 Stars!

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Texas Chainsaw 3D – The Sawyer family is under attack after the events of the first film as the Sheriff wants Leatherface to come out and turn himself in.  Things go south when some good old boys show up and kill the Sawyer family and burn down the farm house. One baby survives the attack and grows up thinking she is the daughter of some of the rednecks who killed her real family. When she gets a notice that her real grandma has died and left her a mansion, she finds out the truth that she was adopted and returns to Texas to acquire her family’s estate. But she and her friends get more than what they bargain for as Leatherface is still alive and lives in the basement and worse the towns redneck get wind of a Sawyer being back in town and are not happy. In the end the young woman must join forces with her chainsaw welding cousin and stop the rednecks that wish them nothing but harm. The film was the first in the series to be shot in 3D and is a direct sequel to the Tobe Hopper original. 2 1/2 Stars!

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The films have over the years built up a huge cult following, and while none of them were huge box office winners, they all are still well made fun horror films that deserve their spot in horror history. If your interested in reading my full reviews of most of the Texas Chainsaw films, then take a look at my old review site Bloodline Video for those and many other film and video game reviews. And speaking of video games we can’t talk Texas Chainsaw Massacre without talking about the 1982 Wizard Video Game based on the film for the Atari 2600 and that turned out to be a major flop but is now highly collectible today. The game has you play as Leatherface and armed with your trusty chainsaw and a select amount of fuel, you must chase after screaming females and hack them to pieces to gain points.  But the whole time you must also dodge obstacles like bulls skulls and wheelchairs because if you get caught up in one you lose fuel and your score will drop.The game when released was considered too adult for the video game market and could only be bought from select stores that chose to stock it and was sold behind counters limiting its sales. The game tested poorly with critics and gamers at the time and over all was trashed for its terrible plot and stiff gameplay. I happen to have an original copy of the game complete with its manuel that I bought from Ebay for $150.00.  While it’s a terrible game, it still holds some charm when you think about the fact it was one of the first horror themed games and the fact that Wizard Video, who was a popular VHS horror film distributor who was owned by Charles Band (Full Moon Entertainment) was the one to put it out. Only time will tell if Leatherface will ever get a full modern game again, but at this point I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Atari 2600texas chainsaw massacre atari adAtari 2600 Leatherface

Speaking of the Atari 2600 game based on the film one of the funniest reviews I have ever seen about this game was done for The Angry Video Game Nerd’s two-part Halloween special where he looked at this game as well as Haunted House, Frankenstein’s Monster and Halloween all for the Atari 2600. In the episode The Nerd buys both the Texas Chainsaw and Halloween Game (both who were rare and released by Wizard Home Video) from a garage sale run by a banjo playing hick smart ass. When he gets home, he plays the game and rips it to shreds for being a poor programed and thought out game. After the review he gets a visit from Chop Top and Leatherface who give chase and he is attacked by the Banjo Hick who is also part of the Sawyer Family. They force The Nerd to play the game longer until he escapes and is chased by Leatherface who gets hung up on a bike and allowing The Nerd to get away. This episode is so much fun and his Halloween specials always stand out for being well done and a great way to remember the horror games of the past. If you have not seen this episode, you should check it out on his website Cinemassacre or his Youtube page.

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A cool short film that thus far has never been released and was directed by William Hopper, the son of original director Tobe Hopper, called “All American Massacre” was started in 1998 but not fully finished, It was supposed to be about Chop Top (played by Bill Mosley once again) and picks up after the events of part 2 and has Chop Top in jail spilling his guts to a Tabloid Magazine about the history of his family. The music score was being done by strange guitarist Buckethead, and the film had a lot of buzz after a teaser trailer was released. In 2011 the film tried to get the remaining funding via Kickstarter but the online attempt failed. At a convention a few years back I spoke to Bill Mosley about the film and he expressed that he wished it would come out as well. So here is to hoping that one day fans of Texas Chainsaw Massacre will be able to see this 60 minute sequel gem. I for one would love to see this because I am a fan of the character Chop Top and would love to see how he survived the chainsaw gut check from part 2 and see how he was captured by the police. So spread the word about this film, and let’s see if we can all help get this made.

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The Sawyer family is also very popular when it comes to the merchandise department and have had so many product based around them.  They have had comics, shirts, toys, a video game, models, Halloween masks, soundtracks, jewelry and so much more. So if you’re a fan of this film and or Leatherface, then you should be happy at the amount of collectibles out in the world for you to own. I for one have a cool retro Leatherface T-Shirt, the video game and some of the action figures. My favorite Leatherface item I own is the 3 3/4″ action figure that is in scale with classic Star Wars and G.I. Joe’s.  Now that’s a cool toy. And I also love my CD soundtrack done by an old website called Roger’s Basement that has music and sound clips from the first two films.  Around Halloween time I play some tracks off these on the WYSO show Alpha Rhythms.

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One little unknown fact is that back in 2001 while Independent B Movie was still going strong I wrote and was going to direct and star as Leatherface in a fan made film based on this series called “Texas Chainsaw Massacre:Return Of The Saw”! The film was taking place after the events of Texas Chainsaw Massacre the Next Generation and would have followed a beauty queen named Gabriella and her photographer friend Paul as they make the mistake of having a run in with the Sawyers who consisted of Leatherface, The Hitchhiker, Vilmer, W.E., Grandpa and Rose who was based on the young girl from part III. The film also had a bounty hunter on the trail of the Sawyers named The Cobra who was hired to kill them by a family member of a past victim. The film was slated to star all the old fimilar faces of I.B.M like Matt Hoffman, Josh Weinberg, Andrea Seay, Dave Wean, Garrison Kane, Jeff Ricks, Brandon Womeldorff and Patrick Neeley. The script was finished and most the props were bought as we got a Leatherface and Grandpa Halloween Mask, lots of fake blood and body parts and even fake brown slime to use on the fake decomposing bodies. The film was about to go into production but it was pushed to the back burner when original scripts started to come in and films like Who Keeps Feeding Grandpa, Farmer Joe and Razor were made instead. Josh Weinberg was a true sport as he acted as the producer of this unfinished project and for many years after we kept talking about getting it into production, but sadly we were never able to.  The film’s script has fallen into the big blue folder of un-shot scripts along side Dracula film Eternal Sleep, Farmer Joe 2 and Matt Hoffman’s fan made Creature From The Black Lagoon film. Below is a fake teaser poster done by my friend Eric Shonborn just for this blog so take a look and think about the no budget fan film that never was.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Return of the Saw Poster

While on the topic of Texas, I just want to also mention that I don’t watch much TV these days and when I do watch TV shows they are on DVD.  But one show that I do watch is a really silly reality show called “American Hoggers”! I know right now many of you are laughing at me and shaking your heads at how I can watch such a dumb show, so allow me to explain. Last year Juliet and I were having some issue with our apartment, and while it was getting fixed I stayed at my parents’ house or we would rent a hotel room.  While at my parents’ house I would stay up late and have the TV on. A show that I kept catching was called American Hoggers, and the first thing that caught my eye was one of the show’s stars Krystal “The Pistol” Campbell and the second was Lea Penick.  Both are good looking women who were taking down giant hogs in the state of Texas, and this was mesmerizing to me late nights. The show is about The Campbell’s, a father and his kid team that go out and get wild hogs in Texas before they can cause more damage to peoples property or cause physical harm to kids and animals.  The show is so much fun and I enjoy the wild antics of father Jerry and the hotness of Krystal and Lea who also seem like really cool people and both girls are great at what they do and are down right fearless. After the apartment was fixed I still found myself watching the show with my Mom and Dad on Wednesdays. I know it’s a sickness.

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Now before we take a look at Northstar comics four issue loosely based comic adaptation of the film Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, I would like to also take a moment to talk about another planed adaptation from them that never happened, a mini series that was in the works based on the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre film. By the midway mark of the Leatherface series, the sales of this title were high and issue one was a total sell out and helped the company gain momentum who were only a gore and horror comic company who made many original titles like KlownShock and Splatter and those titles sells were never as solid as they were on the Leatherface series, making them look at The Sawyer Family as a cash cow and a quick way to become a player at the growing comic shops around the United Stares and hang with the big boys of Marvel and DC. The fourth and final issue in the Leatherface mini series revealed that the company was working on a adaptation of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and many new original Chainsaw stories that was in the works.  The adaptation comic was said to have J.J. Birch who worked on the Catwoman comic on board and was going to be the kick off to this new series of books. Fans were hyped and the comic even had advertisements for these comic books.  Years passed and the comics never seen the light of day nor did Northstar ever speak of them again making many forget that they were even in the works and others who did just moved on to other comics. I spent hours looking into why this book was canceled and could never find an answer. I for one would have loved to have read both the film adaptation and the new series and know that I would have bought them when they came out. I am wondering if the book was finished and if so who owns it and is there any chance that it would ever come out! Fangoria Comics would have been a great company to put this out if they didn’t go south way too soon. Below is one of the ads that was published in issue 4 of Leatherface so that we all can look at it and wonder what it could have been.

Northstar Leatherface adNow that we have taken a look at Leatherface in film, video game and merchandise I think it’s time that we dive into the backroads of Texas and adventure into reading this series! When I was younger I only owned issue 4 and always looked at local comic shops like Mavericks and The Bookie Parlor for the other three and was never successful in my quest. Years later thanks to the team up of Lone Star Comics and Amazon, I was able to find the other three and replace the issue four I sold off to pay rent way back when. I just want you all to remember I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and base it on entertainment value, quality of the story, the art and how true it stays to the source martial.  So let’s gas up the chainsaw and have a bloody good time.

Leatherface 1

Leatherface  # 1  ***
Released in 1991   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics   # 1 of 4

Leatherface bashes a young woman’s head in and removes the skin around her face to make a new mask from it, as a woman outside watches in horror and flee’s into the woods. Michelle and Ryan are stuck in a traffic jam that’s caused by the discovery of a massive body pit that is housing the remains of 70 to 80 victims. When they can finally hit the road, Michelle hits an armadillo and when Ryan goes to kill it she finds a chrome skull ear ring at the side of the road. The couple stops at the Last Chance Gas Station run by a eye patch wearing goon named Alfredo who speaks like a pervert, and they also meet Tex a hitchhiker cowboy who just wants to get home.  After Tex catches Alfredo peeping on Michelle as she uses the restroom he flips out and gets a shotgun and shoots the cowboy and tries to blast the couple who speed off and turn down an old abandoned road where they are chased by a giant monster truck that throws a decapitated dogs head at the window and causes the couple to wreck and get a flat tire. As the monster truck speeds off, Ryan is trying to fix the flat tire as a noise is heard in the woods, a simple squeak noise that turns into the sound of a chainsaw as Leatherface is upon them!

This issue is a fun way to start off this movie adaptation and uses Leatherface in only two spots: killing the person at the start of the issue and the quick flash of him getting ready to kill our heros. Leatherface in this issue seems very mean spirited and is very much like he is in the film this comic is based on.  His look is also great, and he is sporting long hair and a giant knee brace. Michelle and Ryan are a good couple who are clearly at odds with each other.  In this comic they seem to argue a lot and Ryan is pretty much a pure ass who takes any chance to try and push Michelle’s buttons trying to get her to fight with him. Tex comes off as just a cowboy who is a drifter and is a puzzle as he is the one who gave them the route they took when they were attacked by the monster truck, and Alfredo is a pure sleaze ball who is crazy as Ygor from the Universal film Son of Frankenstein. The comic has a nice amount of gore to go along with the plot of a couple driving a car across Texas who are fighting over a break up that is in the works and make a mistake of stopping at a gas station that is run by the Sawyers. One nice touch is that in the body pit part two of the workers are FX maser Tom Savini and classic b-actor Dick Miller! The art work by Kirk Jarvinen is good stuff and is the style of 90’s horror comics that I like, and the cover is also well done and eye catching. I can see why this first issue sold so well, and I for one wish I would have gotten it off the stand when I was a kid as I am sure both The Bookie Parlor and Mavericks had it stocked. While it’s very close to the film, the changes are well done and make this first issue a good read.  I don’t know about you but I am pretty hyped to see what issue two brings to the table. 

Leatherface 2

Leatherface  # 2  ***
Released in 1991   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics   # 2 of 4

Ryan and Michelle are shocked at the side of the road as Leatherface comes at them with his chainsaw a buzzing.  Ryan thinks fast and kicks Leatherface in the balls and as the killer drops, he and Michelle speed off! Leatherface tries to stop them but breaks his chain on his saw, and they get away. While speeding Michelle crashes into a truck driven by Benny, a weekend warrior who is a survivalist, after she thinks she sees an injured Tex in the road. They couple tell Benny about Tex and the chainsaw madman who tried to kill them, as he thinks they are just talking smack after being shook up from the accident. Benny goes to the road to get his gun just in case and waiting up there is Tinker, a tow truck driver with a hooked hand, who turns out to be yet another crazy member of the Sawyer family.  Benny is able to get his gun and escape being run over just in time, but his escape is short lived as he is now being attacked by Leatherface! Benny fights his hardest but just as it looks bad, the woman who at the start of issue one saves him and has Leatherface chase after her! Meanwhile Michelle and Ryan are trying to shake off injuries when a shotgun carrying Tex comes for them and fights with the couple to keep them captive. While the poor woman who saved Benny’s life is captured by Tink and is cut up by Leatherface.

Issue two is all action and does not pull the punches with the gore, action and blood! This time around Leatherface is given more depth and at one point when he breaks his saw takes to bashing his own head against a tree as punishment! Leatherface is also way more blood thirsty in the issue and takes glee in chopping up the woman in the end, not to mention it’s super cool as they put dialogue in as to what he is thinking. Ryan is still an ass even being in danger, and the character is not likeable at all.  When he gets his face smashed with the butt of the shotgun you don’t feel sorry for him, but you feel sorry for Michelle who is left to fight of Tex alone. Michelle is likable but does make dumb mistakes in the comic just as she did in the film and the top one being getting into the crash with Benny. Tink is an odd duck who it’s clear he is now the brains of the family after the death of Drayton Sawyer aka The Cook from the first two films, and seems to love technology. Tex is shown to be a part of the family and is a sick son of gun who uses his looks to trick people into going along with what he says. The art work is now being done by Guy Burwell who also did the cover, and while his art work is good, it kind of lost some of the charm of issue one.  Plus the cover is not as eye catching. Over all this is a good issue and keeps you entertained with all the action and blood.  I also love the changes from the film like Leatherface slaughtering the girl, being pissed about his saw breaking and even Tex fighting with Michelle and Ryan; all nice touches and truly flushes out the story a little more. Let’s get onto issue three, shall we?

Leatherface 3

Leatherface  # 3   ***
Released in 1991   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics   # 3 of 4

Tink and Leatherface are having a blast playing around with the body parts of the woman they had just killed, even playing baseball with her skull! Tink finds Ryan’s cassette tape walkman and gives it to Leatherface as a gift and has Leatherface do the classic chainsaw dance for his amusement. Meanwhile Michelle has escaped Tex and is wandering the woods and finds that the Sawyer family have traps set everywhere to capture and kill anyone who stumbles onto their place.  As she is wandering, she finds a normal looking house with a Little Girl sitting on the porch and asks her for help. The Little Girl takes Michelle inside and soon enough she finds out she is in the killers’ home as Tex and Little Girl try and capture her yet again. Meanwhile Benny in the woods finds a pond where Alfredo is dumping body parts of victims, and the two have an exchange of words that leaves Alfredo knocked out and thrown into the pond. Michelle meanwhile is captured and meets the family from Mama to a crazed old man who the family has taken in as their own, and she is forced to watch as Leatherface bashes in the head of Ryan who they have brought home to slaughter and eat!

This third issue is more about suspense and builds up a very gloom and doom feeling for Michelle who is truly on her own against a family of crazed rednecks. Michelle is a likable killer.  While she fights back a tad, you really keep wanting her to fight as hard as she can to get away from the Sawyer family. Ryan in the issue is nothing more than a dead man walking as his date with the sledgehammer is near. Benny is trying his best to find the couple and get rid of the Sawyer family but is always a few steps behind. Tex and Little Girl make a good team of trying to capture Michelle, and Little Girl is just as nuts as the rest of the family. Mama is not given to much in the issue but now it’s clear her word is law. Leatherface is still the mean brute he is in the first two issuea and once more seems to get pleasure in bashing in Ryan’s face. The issue is a nice set up for the big blow out you know is coming up in issue four, the final issue in the mini series, and makes you wonder what changes will be made next. Art in comic and cover is done by Guy Burwell again and once more is good work with an improvement on the cover. So with this let’s get into issue four and see how the story ends. 

Leatherface 4

Leatherface # 4  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $2.75   Northstar Comics  # 4 of 4

Tink is happy with Leatherface and takes him out to the barn to give him a giant chrome chainsaw, but the gift is cut short as Benny has found them and opens fire, killing Tink with a wave of bullets.  As the war outside is going on, Michelle escapes and kills Tex with a butcher knife leaving the cowboy a bloody mess. Benny enters the house and has a standoff with Mama, but she is quickly killed as he bashes her head in with his gun.  Leatherface is now in the action and chops off some of Benny’s fingers and causes him and Michelle to flee into the woods, but while by the pond Alfredo pops back up and attacks Michelle as Leatherface catches up and fights with Benny! Michelle wins her fight and drowns Alfredo in the dirty pond water as Benny is decapitated by Leatherface’s chainsaw and Michelle uses the head to bash Leatherfaces brains in! In the end Michelle is by the side of the road, deathly sick from the pond water that was covered in disease from the dead bodies in it as a sheriff’s car drives by containing Leatherface, the old man and Little Girl as they are just driving on to make home somewhere else in Texas.

This last issue is what I would call Faces of Death of the Sawyer Family as members of the family are shot, stabbed, drowned and bashed! Michelle in this issue has had enough and kills two of the family members and even beats Leatherface down with a human skull! The change in Michelle builds up in all four issues so as she snaps and kills her would be murders, you find yourself cheering for her to get them. Tink is wasted in the issue as for the most part the whole mini series as it’s clear he’s crazy but is also kind of the brains of the brothers. Tink’s death in the film is similar to the comic as in he is shot in both. Alfredo is out of his mind crazy and is a character I love seeing both in the comic and film get his.  His death in the comic is way different from that of the film as in this one he is drowned and in the film he takes a shotgun blast to his face. Tex is the suave brother and it comes across in the comic that while he will kill and do violent acts, he just doesn’t get into it as much as his brothers. His death is way different in the comic as he his stabbed and gutted by Michelle and in the film he is set on fire by Benny during an ax fight. Mama is just around in the comic and seems not as important as she does in the film.  Her death is also way different as in the film she is shot up by Benny and not getting her brain bashed in like the comic. Little Girl is pretty much the same nut job little kid, and her character is well done because it adds the uneasy feel to all the deaths that she sees before her. The Grandpa in the comic is some coot who just babbles and his over all a waste. Leatherface in this comic mini series is a pure blood and gore crazed bad ass who is after one thing and that’s to make his family proud! I truly do like the way he is written in this mini series, and I think adding what he is thinking is a thing of pure genies when it comes to horror comics like this based around an over all mute character. The art work and cover is once more done by Guy Burwell, and while I don’t like his style as well as I liked Kirk Jarvinen’s work in the first issue, I would say that over all the artwork for the whole series is well done and fitting for such a grim story. To round up this review I would say while it kept some of the core things from the film it’s based around, it adds enough change to make this comic series seem like a “Marvel What If” version and gives the reader a new ride on what could have been a bad paint by numbers comic adaptation. As Joe Bob Briggs would say over all “Three Stars. Check It Out.”

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So thanks for traveling the back roads of Texas with me and looking back at Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. I do have a quick story about this film that I will share with you. Growing up I collected horror films on VHS and I had a really good collection going.  This was before the days of online shopping, and I would spend a lot of time looking at places like Second Time Around, Half Price Books, Replay Media, West Coast Video and Blockbuster Video looking for more horror films to add to my collection.  One film I always wanted was “Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III,” and the only place I could find it was at the little video store K&L Video that me and my brother would rent from and I can remember harassing him forever about buying it, and the owner Kenny would always give me some super high quote like $50-$80. Years passed and when sadly K&L went out of business I was finally able to buy the VHS, but what should have been a happy day for my collecting ways turned out to be a sad one as I would lose a place that always felt like a second home. But the next update will be our first Halloween update and I will post it on October 31st and we will be taking a look at custom comics based on Hammer horror films that I will be reading at haunted places in and around the Dayton area! So make sure to come back for that spooky good time! Until then watch a horror film, play a horror game and always make sure to read a horror comic, and stay scary!

HAMMER HORROR comic logo

Get The Giggles with Dr. Giggles

It’s almost October, and that means only one thing: HALLOWEEN! So coming off Dark Horse Comics’ two issues based on horror film baddie Pumpkinhead and before we get into the super fun horror filled month of October, I decided we will take a mini look at a horror film doctor…no, it’s not Dr. Butcher M.D. (no comic company has been that cool to make a series based on him) and it’s not Dr. Frankenstein who has many comic based around him and or his monster or even horror host Dr. Creep.  You give up? Well it’s Dr. Giggles who Dark Horse Comics had a two issue mini series based around his 1992 film from Universal Pictures.  The good Doctor also made a few appearances in the comic series “Dark Horse Presents”, but let’s not waste any time and jump into the very small legacy that Dr. Giggles made in the world of horror. Beware of spoilers in this write up.

Giggles art 1

Dr. Evan Rendell Jr. was a young man who helped his father, a small town doctor, kill some of his patients to steal their hearts to transplant into his mother who had passed away.  Rendell Jr. was given the nickname Dr. Giggles because of his sinister laugh. When the townspeople find out about the crimes Rendell Sr. is killed and Jr. is locked away in an asylum. 35 years later, Jr. escapes and returns to the small town to finish his work of “helping” the sick and testing his bizarre twisted methods of health care. Dr. Giggles was a town legend used to scare children at night, but a real person became town folklore with many stories of his killing ways. Every town has a boogeyman: Haddinfield has Michael Myers, Springwood has Freddy Kruger, Crystal Lake has Jason Voorhess, Skull Island has King Kong and the town of Moorehigh has Dr. Giggles.

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The film follows Dr. Giggles who escapes from the asylum, returns home to the sleepy small town of Moorehigh and starts killing towns people when he finds their old files in his father’s now run down clinic. Dr. Giggles sets his sight on Jennifer Campbell, a young woman in need of heart surgery and spends his time stalking her and killing poor innocent people along the way. The local cops go after the good doctor where he is shot and then left for dead after an explosion. The burnt Dr. Giggles shows up at the hospital where Jennifer is getting her emergency heart surgery and is finally killed off when he is electrocuted then stabbed with his own nasty interments of death by Jennifer who in turn gets her surgery and is cured. The film starred Larry Drake as Dr. Giggles and Holly Marie Combs of TV’s Charmed fame as Jennifer Campbell, along with others and was directed by Manny Coto who also directed Star Kid. The film was met with poor reviews and was only a small box office earner for Universal who at this time was making more money on the Childs Play films. I first saw this film by renting it on VHS with my brother from K&L Video and remember being entertained but disappointed at the same time.  While the film has some fun moments, it really just felt like a cheap direct to video horror film with a small budget and lots of tongue in cheek humor that had a terrible pay out when it comes to the main villain’s death. Over all the film is a dumb good time and is a fun one to waste a night watching with your favorite snack food and late night beverage.

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The film had a score done by Brian May, who also did the scores to such films as Mad Max, The Road Warrior, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare and Missing in Action 2 to name a few. The score can be found on CD as can the soundtrack to the film that has such bands as House of Lords, Ten Inch Men, Copperhead, Paul Rodgers and Girls Bones Found. The soundtrack is pretty much the only merchandise that was released around this film besides the comics from Dark Horse. Giggles didn’t get an action figure, t-shirt, Sega Genesis game or anything, he just came and went at the theaters and at some point showed up on home video. I mean come on, you know you would have played a side scrolling horror game based on Dr. Giggles on your Genesis!

dr giggles scoredr giggles soundtrack

So there you have it, a brief look at Dr. Giggles the character, the film and soundtrack.  So let’s gear up and get ready to dive into the two issue mini series based on the film from Dark Horse Comics.  Remember I grade these comics on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, and its art and story. So the Doctor is in and ready to be reviewed! I want to thank Lone Star Comics for having these in stock. 

Dr. Giggles 1

Dr. Giggles # 1  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $2.50   Dark Horse Comics   #1 of 2

Dr. Evan Rendell Jr. aka Dr. Giggles has escaped the insane asylum and on his way out kills a few of the staff for good measure. High School couple Jennifer Campbell and Max are having issues as Jennifer is having some major health issues with her heart that she is keeping hidden and her sudden limits on after school activities is making this an awkward situation between them. Dr. Giggles has returned home and has taken up in his fathers old home clinic.  He makes quick work of a few kids who have decided to snoop around his dad’s old killing field and recovers his dad’s old client records to restart the health care his father was dishing out, roaming around town killing off all those he can. Meanwhile Jennifer is mad at her boyfriend Max and even more disappointed in her father and his new younger hippie girlfriend who are going out for dinner that night leaving Jennifer alone and mad at her illness as she looks out her window and sees her boyfriend with another woman. As Dr. Giggles sneaks into the dinner party Mr. Campbell is at, the cops are just starting to piece things together that they have a killer on the loose.

This first issue of the film adaptation starts off with a bang and has Dr. Giggles using the scalp of a victim to try and escape the looney bin.  Gruesome stuff as the man-made wig is still oozing blood as he closes in for a kill on a young nurse. Dr. Giggles is clearly shown in this issue to be insane and a pun spewing smart ass much like Freddy Kruger and kills a number of people from beheading, torture and poisoning. So in short, this first issue is a nice way to show the evil murdering side of Dr. Giggles and makes him one hell of a bad guy for the hero Jennifer to get away from. Speaking of Jennifer, she is your normal teen besides the fact she has a weak heart and hates the fact her father is dating a new woman a few months after her mother’s death. Her boyfriend Max is pretty much useless and the cops are as well besides Magruder who seems more aware that something bad is going on. The story is fast paced and all that you really need to know about the history of Dr. Giggles is told via quick talk panels by teens or the cops. The art is well done and has that pure 90’s Dark Horse look, using lots of blood to express the horrors, but while the inner art is great the cover is just meh and not really that eye catching and for the most part is pretty lame. So far this is a good start to the film adaptation and delivers enough over the top kills to please most slasher horror comic fans, so let’s see how issue two holds up, shall we?

Dr. Giggles 2

Dr. Giggles # 2   **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $2.50    Dark Horse Comics   #2 of 2

Jennifer is now home alone, drinking and upset over her boyfriend’s cheating ways as Dr. Giggles, who has just killed two teens, is now creeping into Jennifer’s house as she leaves to confront Max. Mr. Campbell and his girlfriend return home to find Jennifer missing and the house disheveled.  As he goes to look for his daughter, his girlfriend gets her flesh eaten off the bone by a chemical Dr. Giggles placed in her make-up remover. Jennifer goes to the town fair and sees Max.  The two fight as she runs into the fun house.  Dr. Giggles follows, makes short work of Max and follows Jennifer to help her with her weak heart. While Dr. Giggles is doing so, he kills a cop but not before he takes a shot to the gut that he himself removes.  Jennifer goes to her doctor’s office, leading Giggles along with her who kills her doctor and kidnaps Jennifer to perform surgery on her.  She is saved by Officer Magruder who fights with the crazed man and blows them both up as well as the Giggles homestead. Jennifer is rushed to the hospital where she is once more attacked by Dr. Giggles who has survived the explosion and is burnt badly but sill wanting to help fix Jennifer’s heart.  In the end, she electrocutes Giggles and wakes up with her heart fixed and her father at her side who she thought dead after Giggles attacked him at the Campbell home.

This is a nice wrap up to a silly, over the top horror story about a killer doctor. In this one, Dr. Giggles acts like he did in issue one, delivering more cheesy lines and acting even more like a nut as he kills victims with knives and scalpels and sets his sites on truly helping Jennifer with her broken heart. Jennifer is part victim and part hero as she becomes the captive and then fights back against the crazed Doctor. Max and her father are useless once more as Officer Magruder is the one who helps set up the end of Giggles’ night of terror and dies like a true hero of the horror screen. The issue is even faster paced than issue one making for a quick read with lots of fun over the top deaths. The only real issue is the fact you can tell they rushed a little too much and lots of questions are never answered like is Max dead? In the comic they never really say, while in the film he is alive at the end. Plus it’s 100% silly in the movie and in the comic that Dr. Giggles survives a massive explosion, let alone is well enough to travel, kill and fight. The art is well done and once more the cover is just boring and not eye catching  To wrap it up, this is a fun movie adaptation that uses the film and script as a guideline but makes its own choices to cram it into two issues of a comic. I chuckled at Dr. Giggles and his silly comic book murdering adventure. 

giggles art 2

So there you have it, Dr. Giggles made a fun silly read and was a nice follow up to reading Dark Horse Comics’ two issues of Pumpkinhead.  I actually had an idea about doing a fantasy warfare between the two titans of two issues just to add a little more fun to this quick pre-halloween update.  So let’s set the mood and get ready for a fight between a crazed doctor and a demon of revenge. This will take place in the backwoods of Eaton, Ohio, a location where the White Eyed Bigfoot has been spotted as well a werewolf.  Dr. Giggles is hiding out from the cops, but he has something more dangerous then the cops to worry about as a loved one of his last victim has called upon Pumpkinhead to avenge their death.  So the mood is set and the battle ground chosen, let’s see who would win in a fight between Dr. Giggles and Pumpkinhead. 

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Dr. Giggles is running through a soybean field towards a covered bridge that is surrounded by woods.  His medical bag filled with his metal instruments of death is tucked under his arm.  As the police sirens fade, he makes his way across the bridge and into the woods where he finds a place to rest and eat his lunch, nothing special just a ham sandwich, potato chips and a can of Mt. Dew he has packed along side his items of death. As he enjoys his lunch, a man with a shotgun creeps up behind him and aims the barrel at the back of his skull and tells the Dr. to get up.  This triggers the Dr. to start giggling like a school girl. The man explains to him that his name is JC Jazz, a one time low budget film editor who had his girlfriend murdered by Dr. Giggles in Xenia, and that it’s time for Dr. Giggles to meet his end.  This makes Dr. Giggles’ day as he drops whats left of his sandwich, stands and turns toward JC.  He flips a sharp scalpel at him that strikes him in the throat, knocking his attacker to the ground grasping his neck that is now oozing blood.  Dr. Giggles chuckles as JC manages to get words out and warns him it’s too late.  As the wind picks up and the sounds of locus fill the air, a lumbering monster makes his way towards the Dr. fast.  That monster is Pumpkinhead! Giggles is able to grab a large knife from his bag and and plunges it into the stomach of Pumpkinhead who shrugs it off as if he didn’t feel a thing and quickly grabs Giggles by his skull as JC takes his final breath.  Pumpkinhead smashes the skull of Giggles and collapses as well as the one who called upon him is also dead. The woods are quiet as JC lies motionless, the body of Pumpkinhead starts to shrivel and the brains of Dr. Giggles are mush on the ground as ants have already started to collect around the massive wound that was once the mad doctor’s head. The ham sandwich also sIts on the ground but not for long as the White Eyed Bigfoot shows up and picks it up and eats whats left of Giggles’ Lunch and watches as the clouds go by.

Winner: Pumpkinhead

So yeah, Pumpkinhead would win hands down and would have made really short work of Giggles.  That’s why I had to add in JC Jazz, who in fact was an editor for some of Independent B Movies’ early work and was a fake name that I used when I didn’t want my name all over credits. So with that I hope you had fun with this update and hope you are looking forward to next month as much as me as Rotten Ink kicks off the Halloween season with Dell Comics’ look at classic Universal Monsters like Dracula, The Mummy and Wolfman! So until then, read a comic and be ready to be scared to the bone next update,and stay nerdy.

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The Softer Side of the Toxic Avenger

In the mid 80’s and throughout the 90’s big companies were buying up licenses to turn anything into toys, cartoons, video games and comics.  I mean there were Nintendo games based on Jaws, Conan The Barbarian, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street and many more off the wall selections. So independent sleaze studio Troma thought hey why not us and made a cartoon series based on their R-rated drive-in/video hit film The Toxic Avenger to Fox, and not to anyone’s surprise it happened. For those readers who may not know what Troma is I will give you a quick rundown.  Troma is an independent film studio based in New Jersey, owned and run by Lloyd Kaufman & Michael Herz who specialize in making and buying low budget films to release in grindhouse theaters, drive-ins and the home video market (Beta,VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray).  They are know for sex, boobs, mutants, slime and gore and besides the Toxic Avenger movies, they are known for Class of Nukem High, Mothers Day and Terror Firmer. While Troma is still around, they are no longer the power houses they once were, but I still love them anyway. Fox, who only aired 5 out of the 13 episodes, thought that they had something special that could have been a runaway hit much like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they would soon be shown wrong.  The show would be canceled and shown for awhile on USA’ Networks Cartoon Express. While I would love to get into some funny stories about the films about The Toxic Avenger, I will save them for when I take a look at Marvel Comics’ short run of issues based on it.

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The Toxic Crusaders first aired in 1991 for Fox and followed Toxie, his loud mouth mother and his bimbo girlfriend Yvonne as they team up with a band of freaks, such as No-Zone a big nosed, wheeled legged blue skinned one time pilot.  Junkyard is a mix of homeless man and stray dog.  Major Disaster is a planet man who controls plants, and Headbanger is a two headed person that has one half surfer dude the other mad scientist! Put them all together and you have The Toxic Crusaders who want to stop all the pollution caused by alien smog lover Dr. Killemoff and his band of evil mutants. The series ran for 5 episodes before FOX decided that it was a no go and pulled the plug on it, but it did show briefly on USA’s Cartoon Express. This was a cartoon that took a stand to try and teach kids to try and save the environment much like Captain Planet and Swamp Thing, but did so in more of a silly goofy nature. I remember being pretty hyped to watch the cartoon, and was super let down by it and found it to be mediocre at best.  While the animation was cheap looking, it was more of the lame story lines that made me stop watching after the 3rd episode in. I later watched episodes on USA and still found it just so-so. The show had a total of 13 episodes, and while not all of them aired on TV, you can find the whole series on DVD thanks to the fine folks at Troma who put it in their Toxic Avenger Box Set. The show has built up a small cult following, and while I still find it cheesy bad, it’s that charm that makes me still remember it and its theme song to this day. Oh did you notice they call him Toxie and not Toxic Avenger?  I guess they wanted to make him more kid friendly.

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Playmates was a huge toy company at the time, and they were doing figures for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Barnyard Commandos, Dick Tracy, Darkwing Duck and many more.  They ended up getting the rights to make action figures based on this short lived series. The figures were in scale with the Ninja Turtles, and I am sure that many kids had that amazing toy cross over, and came with many weapons most of which glowed in the dark. Not to mention the figures also had a vehicle line that made many off the wall rides for the Crusaders and baddies. The toy line came and went and not much hype was put into them. I do remember the TV commercials for the toys, and I did know a few friends who had the figures at school. When I was younger I only had 2 of them and that was Dr. Killemoff and his skeleton mutant henchman Bonehead, both of which I got new at Big Bear. It’s crazy looking back that I passed on Toxie to get the bad guys that while cool figures were not nearly as cool as Toxie’s. I do remember having Killemoff & Bonehead team with the Shredder & Krang to try and stop the Ninja Turtles, and later Dick Tracy and Itchy were added into that “story line”. Over all the line was short lived, but they were pretty neat figures.

dr killamoff toyToxie ToyMajor Disaster toy

Not only were toys made based on the cartoon but so were video games for Nintendo, GameBoy and Sega Genesis. The game on all formats was a side scrolling beat’em up that would have Toxie fighting from level to level to get to Killemoff. In my youth the only one I played was the Sega Genesis version, and that’s because me and my brother rented it from a small video store called K & L Video. The game was entertaining and a little annoying in game play.  I remember staying up late trying to beat it but never did, and we had to return it in the rented time frame. K & L was my favorite video store in the area and stocked way better stuff then Blockbuster Video.  The horror section was amazing, and he carried games for the older systems. Kenny was the owner, and he was a super cool guy, always giving pep talks and posters & selling horror VHS to me. But sadly Kenny (who’s real name was Michael Wayne Brown) made a mistake in his youth and killed a man during a botched robbery.  After being captured, he escaped and went on the run finally settling here in Ohio.  Changing his name, he opened a video rental store and became the champion of good deeds to the teens in the area. I think Kenny saw some of us who might have been on a bad path and wanted to make a difference and steer us away from mistakes he made in his past. Kenny ended up turning himself in after his story aired on Unsolved Mysteries, and an employee knew his secret.  Kenny did make a mistake in life, but he should be used as a speaker to troubled youth.  He could make a difference in someone’s life.

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Not only were toys, video games and comic books made based on this short lived cartoon but there were also coloring books, trading cards, Colorforms, Halloween masks, T-shirts and puzzles.This showed you everyone thought that this cartoon series was going to be a huge hit with kids, and the money making machine was in full effect. In fact New Line Cinema bought the rights to turn the cartoon into a movie, but when the series bombed, the plug was pulled. Troma sued New Line and won for not coming through on their side of the agreement. I used to have a Toxie Halloween mask but due to age the cheap mask degraded and is now a mangled mess.

Toxie Coloring Book toxie shirt 2Toxie CardsToxie Puzzle

So in short Toxic Crusaders was a cheesy fun cartoon that in all terms bombed but sparked a ton of merchandise all that was made to cash in the the super popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It played very shortly on Fox and switched to USA. In 1992 Marvel Comics made a 8 issue series based on the cartoon that never had a full time writing staff, but will this series be good? Remember I rate the issues on the 1-4 scale and base it on art, story, how close it stays to the source material and over all entertainment value. So let’s get Toxic!

Toxic Crusaders 1

Toxic Crusaders # 1  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #1 of 8

“The Making of Toxie”. Dr. Killemoff is an evil man with four arms and purple skin who loves smog and toxic waste and has decided to dump a very toxic batch in Tromaville, New Jersey where an accident causes Melvin Junko to fall into the batch and turn into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength known as Toxie! Our hero makes his home in the city’s junkyard and comes to the aid of a nearly blind dim whit blonde babe named Yvonne and causes bully Bonehead to turn into a skeleton mutant himself and is joined by Killemoff, Pyscho (his righthand man) and the radiation rangers who all jump Toxie. But a bus full of fellow good mutants show up to help lead by Major Disaster (who controls planets).  The team consists of No-Zone (with power of Sneeze), Head Banger (two headed) and Junkyard (a dog man).  They save Toxie, run off the bad guys and become The Toxic Crusaders!

This first issue is a fun read but does have lots of flaws in the very rushed story. The coming together of the team is done so half heartedly that the impact of them being a positive team is lost, and worst is the comic seems to be in on the fact it’s lackluster and even takes pot shots at itself! The build up of a feud between Killemoff and Toxie is for the most part vacant and not fleshed out, leaving it to be a very loose rivalry.  I mean I get the fact Toxie loves the environment and Killemoff who is a giant roach wants the world to be poisoned with foul air, but I am pretty sure that would make anyone hate Killemoff and want to stop him. Plus they way over used the phrase “hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength” to the point of being annoying. The good things about the issue are that they did a good job of putting the cheesy cartoon into a comic book and do a good job of showing Toxie’s birth and keeping it close of the R-Rated film he comes from.  The comic also has some good and shocking action as Toxie even knocks a punk’s eyeball out…now that’s hardcore! The art is also well done and has a nice cartoonish look. The cover art on this one is not very well done and is for the most part generic. Over all this is an average action comic based on a cartoon and was worth the read.  Let’s see if the same could be said for issue 2.

Toxic Crusaders 2

Toxic Crusaders # 2   **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #2 of 8

“The Big Broadcast of 1992”. Island City is the smog-infested home of Killemoff who has come up with a ray that will spread pollution throughout the world and interrupts a TV show to go about his plan and to challenge the Toxic Crusaders to try and stop him. Toxie and team enter the sewers and walk to Island City to find a horde of Radiation Rangers and Tromaville’s own fat Mayer Grody along side them.  Toxie and team defeat them and head to the tower of Killemoff, but they are met by Bonehead, Psycho and a horde of troops.  Only Toxie has time to get to the top as the team holds off the bad guys.  Toxie tries to talk Killemoff from using the ray but fails and the ray is used! Toxie and the Crusaders return to Tromaville to find it the same and not polluted because the ray was a dud!

This issue is again average all the way around, but this time the plot is a little more fleshed out and there are many more fighting panels that make it chug along. The issue, like the previous, seems to make jokes about itself, making you wonder just how miserable the writers must have been working on this comic series. The plot is very typical and has Toxie and Friends going to the bad guy’s hideout to stop him from causing harm to the whole world.  Wwhile that premise has been done many times, it’s still a good generic plot that you feel okay reading again. The rest of the Crusaders also get a little more panel time and are turned into likable side characters that are good for one liners and fighting. The fact that Toxie failed to stop Killemoff also makes our hero seem incompetent and a dummy, and those aren’t not good traits for a superhero to have. The art in this issue is for the most part the same as the last issue but this one does make parodies of many other media such as Wheel of Fortune, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Jack and the Beanstock among many others. While again capturing the cheesy nature of the cartoon, this just seem to be missing something. The cover on this one is also very so-so, and making this issue over all just average all the way around.  This is not a good start for this series so let’s hope 3 breaks the average mold. 

TOXIC Crusaders 3

Toxic Crusaders # 3  ***
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #3 of 8

“Night of the Living Dessert”. Killemoff is at it again, but his money man from his home planet is mad about all the money that is being wasted to fight the Toxic Crusaders and to gain Tromaville.  So a plan is hatched to poison a batch of custard to get at the men of Tromaville. Bonehead screws it up and instead delivers the wrong batch of goo, and the company makes a Custard Man Monster who just wants someone to eat him! But once it attacks Yvonne, Toxie and The Crusaders must track down the slimy dessert monster before it chokes and kills someone.  The Crusaders attack the creature but only seem to make it mad when they won’t eat it alive.  So it grows and is about to destroy Tromaville.  Killemoff has an idea that if the Crusaders eat the custard man it will live in their bloodstreams and he will be able to control them.  This backfires on him.  As they eat the monster he comes to brag, only to get a toxic team burp that knocks him from his car and landing hard on the ground and then having the car fall and crush him.  Toxie and friends win this round and head home to the junkyard for a well deserved nap.

This 3rd issue is a fun ride that reminds me of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle issue from Archie Comics! The plot has the team having to fight and eat a monster man made of mutated custard, in order to free it and pay back Killemoff with a wicked team burp. This issue has lots of humor that works and does not make fun of itself or the reader. Killemoff and his men are used not only as villains but also as stooges who get beat up and things dropped on them. Toxie also comes off very heroic as does the whole team. One of the better things about all the issues so far is while it’s a dumb cheesy series it really does have good messages hidden under its childish nature. The Mutant Custard Man is a great character that while hurting people just really wants some one to eat and enjoy him; you see he really just wants to be liked. The art work is good and cartoonish.  The cover while silly still is well done, and the plot is fun making this the best issue this far in the series. Let’s see if issue 4 can keep this on the right path and make for another good issue. 

Toxic Crusaders 4

Toxic Crusaders # 4  *1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #4 of 8

“Gnaws” Dr. Killemoff has set bombs in the sewers of Tromaville to explode and cause the city’s toilets to shoot out waste filling the streets, but his plan is stopped by Toxie and crew who go down to get rid of the bombs but before they can they must face a very pissed off giant rat. In the end Toxie’s mop saves the day. Story 2 is “Porcelain Paranoid” Killemoff is at it again as he pumps deadly water into Tromaville, killing many people with its acid like powers, but Toxie saves the day as he uses No-Zone’s massive sneeze to push the bad water back to Island City. Story 3 is “From Seat to Shinning Seat” has Toxie trying to clean a very messy bathroom for a factory and instead meets an undead plumber who fights what he thinks is a giant turd monster!

This issue is 3 short stories all having to deal with pipes, poop, muck and toilets, and none of them are any good! They all feel very rushed and for the most part each have very similar endings making them all seem almost interchangeable. Out of the 3 stories the best is “From Seat to Shinning Seat” just for the fact it’s the only one that don’t cram so many characters into one lackluster story. I am not sure why they chose to do this issue with different stories, artist and writers but it made for one poor read. Toxie’s attitude and speech changes in almost each story, and while in the cartoon the mop never was alive but now all of a sudden 4 issues in the mop is alive and the brains of the team. The art in the first story is piss poor and is very sloppily done.  The rest of the art for the other stories is what came before. The cover is one of the only nice things I can say about this issue.  So to sum it up this is this far the worst issue in the run.  I hope issue five brings the series out of the toilet!

Toxic Crusaders 5

Toxic Crusaders # 5  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #5 of 8

“Delivery System” Toxie’s body warns him of danger, and he and the Crusaders rush off to save the day, but as Toxie keeps running the Crusaders stop the ice cream headed Double-Dip gang.  Toxie runs out of town and finally collapses from exhaustion and it’s shown that Psycho and Bonehead has figured a way out to make his blood boil and they want to use this to make Toxie a walking bomb.  Toxie’s Mom has reconnected with her old high school love, and he is the key to set off the bomb that is now Toxie.  In the end he has a change of heart and before Toxie explodes Major Disaster uses No-Zone to destroy the detonator.  Once more The Toxic Crusaders save the day and are treated to Liver and Onions in BBQ Sauce.

The series picks back up to average with this issue, and I am fine with that.  This time around Killemoff takes a backseat as the main bad guy, and Psycho and Bonehead take the role and come up with a good plot to kill the Crusaders by making Toxie a bomb. They also flesh out Mom’s role in the series and show her back history that is done like a twisted version of an Archie comic. The issue has comedy, drama and action and makes it a fun read, and I think its funny how at the start they beat up a gang of thugs who have heads like ice cream scoops. They also go back to the mop not being alive and a character, and again I am totally cool with that. The thing is I am not sure if this issue is as good as it seems or of it’s just that the last issue was so bad that it made this issue seem better. Plus the cover claims that it has the “Grossest” kiss in comic history, and it’s just Toxie’s Mom kissing her old man lover…yeah…not worth the build up. The art work is standard for the series, and the cover is pretty damn eye catching. Over all I found myself enjoying this issue, and while not the best in the series thus far, it was a solid average outing.  So let’s see if issue 6 is any good.

Toxic Crusaders 6

Toxic Crusaders # 6  ***
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #6 of 8

The Toxic Crusaders are yesterday’s news and have lost all the female groupies to Corporal Globe and The Globiteers who have came into Tromaville and beaten all of Killemoff’s new plans. Corporal Globe is a environmental super powered being who wants nothing more than to save Mother Earth from pollution and the ladies love him for it. Toxie and team are thinking about packing up and leaving to see if another city would need their help when Psycho comes up with walking time bombs that when exploded releases Jock Sweat all over town! And when one explodes Corporal is down for the count, and its up to The Toxic Crusaders to save the day, and when they do the town and ladies are back on their side.  The Globiteers disband and leave Corporal all alone.

This issue is really fun and is one big parody of Captain Planet and his sappy messages about keeping Mother Earth clean. Corporal Globe comes off as an ego driven hero who who believes in his message but also seems to be doing it for the fame. In the issue Toxie seems to take a more side character approach until he is needed to save the day. There is also a ton of random cameos from such people as Ted Turner and Rowan Atkinson all of whom just seem to pop up in Tromaville. This issue was also to mark the end of the series.  In the back of the issue states that the current series has ended with this issue but a new # 1 is coming soon….wonder what happened as two more issues followed this one! The art is hit and miss in this one as some times it seems sloppy and rushed, but the story line seems more thought out than issues of the past and makes this next to issue 3 the best in the series so far. The cover on this one also is pretty rocking, and while this goes away from the source material I still think the premise works and makes the characters more fun and while making fun of themselves it’s not rammed down your throat like in the first couple of issues. This is a very good issue and makes me wonder what the next issue holds.  So with that, let’s not wait and get into issue # 7!

Toxic Crusaders 7

Toxic Crusaders # 7  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #7 of 8

“Girl Power” Yvonne is sick and tired of being treated like a slave while at the dump hideout house of the Toxic Crusaders who make her cook, clean, bend over to stare and get comics for them.  So she does what any smart woman would do, she leaves. She gets it in her head that she will go to Island City and defeat Killemoff once and for all, but what she finds is that Psycho has created a time machine and has gone back in time and got a giant man made of Asbestos who is on his way to Tromaville to posion and kill the citizens. Yvonne with the help of Toxie’s mom warns the team of its coming in a round about way and feeds them a plan that Toxie can take credit for.  The plan works, the Asbestos Man is defeated and Yvonne and Toxie are happy once more.

This issue’s cover lies! When first picking this issue up one would think that The Crusaders were on the popular USA Cartoon Express, but sadly this just doesn’t happen and we only get the Cartoon Express in a very tiny cameo. In fact this issue again has some cameos with the best being The Bride of Frankenstein who Psycho uses the Time Machine on to bring to the present to go on a date with. The plot is good and gives Yvonne time to shine making the issue more about her then the Crusaders.  This is a good thing and adds some spice to the series. It is odd that they all treat Yvonne like a useless slave, and Major Disaster comes off as a sleaze as he clearly keeps checking out her boobs and ass and making comments about them! And why is Toxie okay with his team mate asking his girlfriend to bend over in front of him so he can see her butt?! The art in this one is fun cartoonish again, and this is the style I like for this series. To sum it up great plot, Yvonne rocks, lying cover, good art and some fun cameos make this one a fun time. Let’s see how the final issue goes and will it make this series go out with a bang. 

Toxic Crusaders 8

Toxic Crusaders # 8  *1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #8 of 8

“Toxzilla” Killemoff has kidnapped a tourist and turned him into a 500ft toxic giant who is sent to Tromaville to crush, eat and destroy everything in sight. So Toxie and the Crusaders head into town to do battle and are eaten by the monster! And once inside they must dodge tapeworms and Radiation Rangers to stop Toxzilla’s brain.  Once they do so Toxie and crew save the day again! “Beau No3e” Nozone is feeling lonely and Killemoff has made a woman out of sludge to blow up The Toxic Crusader’s hideout but the sledge woman starts to feel for Nozone and turns on her makers!

This issue is a complete mess and is back to having multiple stories, and none of them worth much more then a once read. Toxie & crew in the first story “Toxzilla” fight a fat bloated disgusting giant.  Oh wait, they barely fight him and spend most the issue inside his body and cram as much gross stuff in it as possible. The second story “Beau No3e” is a complete waste of time and adds nothing to The Toxic Crusaders story arc we have been dis-treated to in the past 7 issues. The message of save the environment is missing and instead random gross stuff is thrown into its place. The art in both stories is terrible and seems very rushed, given that this was the intended last issue in the series, it’s clear as day that no one working on the comic gave a rat’s ass about the story, art and presentation. This issue just stinks all the way around and has more crap moments then good making this the winner of worst issue in the series.

The Toxic Crusaders was a failed attempt to capture the popularity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in both cartoon and comic forums. The biggest issue with the comic is lack of care that was given to the property,  The characters’ moods and style change several times as do the artist and writers making the 8 issue Marvel series  come off as a clustered mess with no direction. Plus it’s clear that Marvel wanted to do very little with the series once the cartoon and toy line was canceled and only stayed with it due to contract with Troma. I mean the series was slated for “last” issue a number of times during its short run! In fact issue 8 that was the planned last issue for the series states that a 4 issue mini series was in the works, and as you can see that never happened. Plus let’s be blunt: taking a character like Toxic Avenger who is a R-Rated hero, who in the films rips off arms and beats people with them or makes their face into a milk shake and the changing his name to Toxie and making him a lovable nature loving knuckle head is just not a recipe for success. But on the other hand, I give both Troma and Marvel credit for trying something new and making a extreme step into trying to make a kid show hit. Over all The Toxic Crusaders run at Marvel was a mediocre at best effort that produced more so-so issue then solid good ones. I was never sold on the cartoon and am not sold on the comics! I want to thank Game Swap Kettering and Lone Star Comics for having the issue for me to get for this review. Next update we are going to do something a little different instead of a look back and a review of Star Comics, we are going to be doing an interview with local Dayton, Ohio comic artist and maker Jason Young who has made the hit indie book Veggie Dog Saturn! So see ya next update.

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