Beware The Wrath Of The Satan’s Six!

I think if you ever have read comics at any time in your life, one creator whose work you have seen or at least have heard of his legend being spoken about in comic shops and or blogs is Jack “The King” Kirby, a man who created some very iconic characters for both Marvel and DC as well as indies! I mean he is the creative mind behind such characters as The Fantastic Four, Silver Surfer, Captain America, The New Gods, Darkseid, Iron Man, Thor, The Incredible Hulk, Nick Fury, Devil Dinosaur, Silver Star, Captain Victory, OMAC, The Eternals, Scarlet Witch, Doctor Doom and so many more! Jack Kirby really is a true icon in the world of comic books, and when people talk about how much he made an impact on the industry, they are not lying! And that’s why in 1993 indie comic publisher Topps Comics wanted to make a impact in the superhero genre and talked to Jack Kirby about bringing some of his characters from the past as well as new ones to readers hands with the Kirbyverse line. For this update we will be taking a look at one of the comic miniseries from that line call Satan’s Six! So if you are ready, let’s travel back to the early 90’s when the comic boom was going strong as we take a trip with Kirby and a pack of strange heroes of sorts.

Topps Comics was trying really hard to be a force in the world of comics, and in 1993 they licensed mostly unused characters Jack Kirby created many years in his past that other companies passed on as well as brought some of his indie comic characters like Captain Victory and Silver Star back to the comic world. This was called The Kirbyverse and was Topps’ way of entering the superhero market.  They thought that they had a very big chance of making a massive splash with Captain Glory, Bombast, Satan’s Six, NightGlider and TeenAgents…sadly, this proved to not be true. Topps Comics pushed the Kirbyverse hard and even comic retailers were itching to get new first issues  of the Kirby-created characters on their shelves so copies were ordered and shelves were well stocked, but the readers just was not there. They even gave away very cool chrome trading cards of the comic with issues, trying to give readers a little extra for their bucks. Diehard Jack Kirby fans bought them but were disappointed that Jack did none of the artwork or if he did, it was a page or so.  Some casual readers checked them out and of course the oil stain of comic collecting, the none-reading speculator resellers, bought the first issues thinking that they could sell in the future for millions, but sales dipped bad after the first issue and the line was considered a failure. Topps ended up canceling the titles with some of them never even finishing up their mini series run. And the worst part of it all is that the comics were really good and had a very classic superhero feel to them.  I think now in modern times the series is a little more respected and readers have discovered that they are good reads with interesting superhero characters. Topps pulled the plug on The Kirbyverse only one year into its run so 1994 marked the end. Sadly Topps Comics would close up shop in 1998 and thus ended an indie comic company that was doing some amazing and fun stuff. I hope that one day Topps gets back into the world of comic books and that they pick up were they left off as they did some really cool comics based on horror movies and I always say we need more companies doing that.

The Satan’s Six is a team of evildoers who are brought together by Satan himself to cause chaos and strike fear in the hearts of the living, well and he finds them to be dull and dolts and wants them to return to Earth in order to get their pitchfork and find their own place in Hell. Placed in charge of them is Odious Kamodious, a demon who made the deal with the Devil as well as our “heroes” to return to Earth to do evil deeds. The team consists of Knight Brian Bluedragon who’s evil deeds always seem to turn good, Dezira is a temptress who is too sweet to do any real harm, African warrior Kuga The Lion-Killer is a skilled warrior who has a soft side for animals, Doctor Mordius a failed serial killer who is much like a tame Jekyll and Hyde, Gambler and con-artist Hard Luck Harrigan is always looking to cheat and lastly is demon Frightful who is a member of the team to make sure they stay in line and do the deeds they are asked to do. And while these fiends are in limbo waiting to get into Hell they for some reason also have hero qualities to them as they fail in all things evil. Just wanted to give you a quick crash course of who the team members are before we head into the review part of this update. I also should state that Satan’s Six was an old concept that Jack had that was not picked up by a publisher until Topps Comics came along and gave them a shot on the comic shelves.

Did you know that also in 2000 Dark Horse Entertainment bought the film rights to Satan’s Six with the idea of developing a movie based on the comic? As of this posting of this update the film has never been made. I would also like to thank Bookie Parlor and Mavericks Cards And Comics for introducing me to this comic series when it was released back in 1993 and making this update possible. I also want to remind you that I grade these comics on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comics stay to the source material, its entertainment value and its art and story. So if you are ready let’s travel to the offices of Odious Kamodious and see what The Satan’s Six has in store for us, and keep in mind I have not read these sense they first came out and I can remember liking them when I was a youngster so let’s see if they hold up now that I am in my 40’s!

Satan’s Six # 1  ***
Released in 1993      Cover Price $2.95      Topps Comics    # 1 of 4

Pristine is an angel who watches over comic books, comic creators, comic characters and sometimes comic fans and she is acting as our narrator in order to introduce us to our “heroes” a group of souls that are trapped in limbo as they have not got called to take their place in Heaven nor Hell. In limbo hanging out together is Dezira, Doctor Mordius, Hard Luck Harrigan and Kuga The Lion-Killer and they are looking for their friend Brian Bluedragon who is on a quest to get into Hell and ask demon Odious Kamodious to place them who argues that they have not done enough evil to be in Hell nor have they done enough good to be in heaven and as the pair go back and fourth Pristine cuts in and wants us readers to know a little more about Brian Bluedragon who was a knight that wanted to take his place with King Arthur who was insulted by the cocky nature of Bluedragon and had him kicked out of Camelot, while outside the gates he made a bad decision and signed his soul over to Satan and as the contract was signed he was ran over by a cart…and this made it impossible for him to go to Hell as he did nothing bad and the contract with Satan had him barred from Heaven and now limbo is his home. Pristine then gives us a brief history of the others that will make up this team. Back at the office of Odious Kamodious he comes up with a mission that will allow Bluedragon to earn his way into Hell and that’s by returning to Earth and the living and sway people to give their souls to Satan, he then gives him a team that is Morbius, Harrigan, Dezira and Kuga as well as two minor demons named Narvag and Sucnip who will drive the Hellicopter that will take them to Earth. Once on Earth they find that a place called Club Inferno is their base and the club uses a Satanic-Tech to make those who enter feel like they are wherever the desire, they meet Virus the man in charge of the club as well as full fledge demon Frightful who is the real boss of Satan’s Six!

The first issue of Satan’s Six is a great way to introduce this new team to readers as we get a quick crash course of who they all are and why they are stuck in limbo, we also see that they are not really evil and are just bored with being in limbo so would even take a deal to get into Hell in order to have a change of pace in the after life. Brian Bluedragon is a knight who’s ego seems to always get the better of him, and when he insults King Arthur of Camelot and is banned from his holy kingdom, he out of spite gives his soul to Satan. While Bluedragon is a screw up and clearly has an ego the size of the Empire State Building stacked on top of the Statue Of Liberty he is not a bad person, he just makes very bad decisions. And that can be said about the rest of his team as Dezira is a wannabe temptress from the Babylon days who is just an airhead, Dr. Morbius is a liar who wants to act as if he is a world infamous serial killer with a super high body count when he is just a scientist, Kuga The Lion-Killer is a warrior who is really a softy and Harrigan is just a guy with a gambling addiction. Virus seems like he is really into the Satanic-Tech and really wants to help send souls to Hell, he also seems like he is just following orders of the demons that are above him. Narvag and Sucnip are two goofy demons that can fly the Hellicopter and fight back and fourth like brothers. And Frightful we don’t get to see much of in this issue but its clear Hell is his business and business is evil. And poor Odious Kamodious is something of an accountant for Hell who wants to be ride of the hassle that is Bluedragon storming the gates every decade or so and comes up with this idea to get these lost souls to Satan but also wishing for a promotion if his team and idea pays off. Pristine is around and while an Angel she is mostly their to break the fourth wall and allow us the readers on the inside for a good and silly ride, oh and also Superman is flying around Heaven as he had died in the comics, while they do not call him Superman its clear that is who it is. What I like about this comics story is that while it is a Horror Comic the writers Jack Kirby and Tony Isabella do a great job and bringing humor into the mix as well as a dash of superhero and this makes for an entertaining read. And because of this Horror Comedy feel the characters are all super likable in their own ways with my two favorites being Brian Bluedragon and Kuga The Lion-Killer as I feel they are interesting and have a cool look to them. The cover for issue one is also amazing as its Jack Kirby and Todd McFarlane together and is super eye-catching and awesome. The issues interior art is done by two artist Jack Kirby and John Cleary and while the styles clash it some how works for me in a very odd way. I should also say that this issue has many guest inkers for the Kirby pages and its pretty impressive as Topps got names like Steve Ditko, Frank Miller, Terry Austin, Joe Sinnott and Mike Royer to lend their inking talents. Over all I myself would say that the first issue of Satan’s Six held up for me and was just as enjoyable of a read now as it was back in 1993! So with that let’s get onto issue two and see what’s next for our motley crew team.

Satan’s Six # 2  ***
Released in 1993     Cover Price $2.95      Topps Comics     # 2 of 4

The female angel Pristine once more opens up the comics and gives readers a quick look at the first issue as well as a quick bio again of our Satan’s Six members. She also goes to Club Inferno and has Virus tell the viewers what Hell’s plan is for our team as well as the souls they help send their, and once she is done we join the team in action. At a museum two security guards are attacked and knocked out by Bluedragon and Kuga as Frightful is talking to a Professor Jacob Simon a man who is selling his soul to Satan, but does not want to see the guards be hurt. You see Professor Simon is a man down on his luck when he was fired from his job and made of joke out of by being called a fraud after discovering a massive old cocoon in a temple in South America of what he thinks is the ancient god Kalazzar, his peers and the board call it a fake and so his troubles begin as he is a man left with nothing. You see Professor Simon is only selling his soul to Satan in order to get help to stop the cocoon from hatching and allowing Kalazzar to walk the Earth again and he needs the supernatural hands of the Satan’s Six to help by touching it while he reads a spell at midnight, and things go wrong when Frightful’s watch was off and the creature God breaks free and is ready to rule the world! Professor Simon argues with Frightful that the contract was not meet and Pristine shows up and agrees with the old man! Professor Simon rushes Kalazzar who snatches him up as well as the team’s new pet dog Fury and this causes Kuga and Bluedragon to go into action and they start fighting the massive godlike being Kalazzar! Pristine informs Frightful that if either of his Satan’s Six members dies in battle trying to save the life of another will be a one way ticket for them to get into Heaven and this forces the demon to now get involved in the fight as he can not loose the souls! As the fight goes on Professor Simon and Hard Luck Harrigan run to Super K-Mart and buy a ton of insect killing sprays and with Doctor Mordius throwing a bomb into the cart the gas comes out and kills the Kalazzar! As the bomb goes off Frightful uses his body to cover Pristine showing that even this demon has a good side. In the end at Club Inferno Bluedragon and his team celebrate the win as in the other room Frightful is upset that he allowed them to fail in their mission. As for Professor Simon he finds that the two guards woke up and watched as he helped save the world and will try and help him get his job back.

The Satan’s Six in this second issue shows that they are kind of clueless when it comes to being evil and tricking humans into giving their souls as they act more like noble heroes as they risk their lives in order to help save a normal mans life who they are suppose to get his soul, and this makes them heroes and opens them up to become angels in Heaven! Poor Professor Jacob Simon is a man who is good at his job and discovers the gateway for a massive insect world destroying creature and is told that he is a fake and a fraud and is fired from his job, and is willing to sell his soul to Satan in order to get help in order to stop the creature from returning showing that while what is did is wrong the reason was noble as he wanted to save the world from destruction. Kalazzar is the insect God like creature that is back on Earth and wants to take over but is stopped by the Satan’s Six as well as incest killer that were bought from K-Mart! While I am sure Kalazzar was super dangerous in his time he is no match for Raid bug spray! Pristine is awesome in this issue as she uses her powers of good to point out to Frightful that not only does he have good in him but so does his team and this is awesome as it forces them all to do good in order for the Demon to not loose total control of his team! Frightful is always ready for a fight and loves being a tricky demon that wants human souls, but also shows that he is not great at his role as the teams leader as he does not stop them from doing good deeds. But I also think that Frightful has a major crush on Pristine as he is willing to risk his safety in order to save her. The Satan’s Six are anti-heroes who think they are doing bad things when in fact they are doing good things and are helping save souls and not taking them, also its clear that Bluedragon and Dezira are becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and that they are all working well together now and are meshing as a team. They also now have a pet dog named Fury that is mean and ready to bite those who stand in the groups way! I would say that once more Bluedragon and Kuga are my two favorite characters as they are the ones who fight the insect creature hand to hand and have no fear and are true brave and noble warriors. The cover for issue two is pretty great and shows the Satan’s Six in battle with Kalazzar and is super 90’s and cool looking. The interior art is done by John Cleary and is good in its own way and has the true 90’s indie comic look to it. Over all another great issue of Satan’s Six that held up for me after all these years and makes me look forward to reading the next again as well!

Satan’s Six # 3  ***
Released in 1993      Cover Price $2.95      Topps Comics     # 3 of 4

Film director Lloyd Kaufman is walking down the street in California and he is disappointed that his actor Samson has turned into Samantha and quite acting to become a showgirl in Vegas and that leaves his new movie “Ugly Annihilator” without his star! While in Limbo two demons have been ordered to guard a hole that has been caused by human pollution and the powers that be are mad that Elvis Presley escaped in order to eat at a Burger Barn, but when the Hunchback Of Notre Dame himself Quasimodo is upset that his ex-girlfriend Dezira has been sent back to Earth he makes a break for it as he wants to save her from Satan’s deal but instead once on Earth he runs into Lloyd Kaufman who casts him as the lead in his film! Meanwhile at Club Inferno things are slow when Frightful gets an order from Hell to bring back Quasimodo and when Bluedragon finds out that the deaf bell ringer use to date his lady he gets jealous and swears to re-kill Quasimodo and send him back to limbo! At the Mann’s Chinese Theater the premier of Ugly Annihilator both Lloyd Kaufman and Quasimodo are being interviewed by a entertainment show about the film and speaking about Dezira when the Satan’s Six show up and Bluedragon wants to start a fight with Quasimodo! The fight is brutal and Quasimodo is besting Bluedragon when Pristine appears and stops the fight an alerts Quasimodo that he had gained his ticket to Heaven as he risked his own soul in order to return to Earth to warn Dezira of her bad deal with Satan! Quasimodo is so happy to be going to Heaven and decides to stay on Earth for a little bit as he now has a three picture deal with Troma! In the end Dezira and Bluedragon are happy to be together and as the Satan’s Six are going back to Club Inferno outside is another of Dezira’s ex-boyfriends and its Attila The Hun!

This is such a crazy issue that brings together so many amazing elements that include classic literature character Quasimodo, Troma Entertainment co-owner Lloyd Kaufman, Hollywood and of course our stars Satan’s Six! The plot is simple and has Satan’s Six having to bring back an escaped soul back to limbo, but like before instead of getting souls for Satan they help a soul go to God. The Satan’s Six are hired guns from Hell who are really just being used and while they try to complete their tasks they just are not very good at it, and with Dezira being a temptress and a sweet woman she has a charm to her that makes people fall in love with her and that’s why her new boyfriend Bluedragon is so protective of her and when he finds out that her Ex is back on Earth his pride and ego kicks in and leads him to making bad decisions that has him getting beat up. Really while Satan’s Six get along with each other, they are also very much at times disorganized and seem very reluctant to help at times in battles and that goes more for the likes of Harrigan who is not a fighter and is just a gambler. And this failed mission of soul gathering is the fault of Frightful, who sends the team to Hollywood alone as he claimed he has an allergy to Hollywood, and is not their to truly guide them from winning God a soul from Limbo. Quasimodo aka The Hunchback Of Notre Dame is a man who has fallen in love with a temptress by the name of Dezira and escapes limbo in order to try and save her soul from Satan and in doing so ends up not only becoming a movie star for Troma Entertainment but also gets a ticket into Heaven! Its also really cool to hear why Quasimodo was in limbo as he was a good soul but he did kill a person inside the house of God making him a strange case for where is soul would end up. Pristine once more comes to the team’s rescue as she saves another soul and is clearly doing her best to not allow the members of Satan’s Six to damn their own. And good old Lloyd Kaufman just wants to make his movie and make big profits and find his next big star, and let’s just say its awesome that they have Kaufman in this issue and I will speak more on that a little later in this update. The cover is cool and is a spoof of TV show Entertainment Tonight and has Bluedragon and Quasimodo fighting it out! The interior art is solid indie 90’s stuff and is still being done by John. Like before this issue has held up for me after all these years and I am shocked that I forgot that Lloyd Kaufman was a character in this series. Well let’s see what the fourth and final issue has in store for us.

Satan’s Six # 4  ***
Released in 1993      Cover Price $2.95      Topps Comics      # 4 of 4

At the Inferno Club Odious Kamodious is yelling at everyone and is really mad at Frightful as the Virus alerts them all that the number of souls being sent to Hell has dropped sense Satan’s Six has been sent to Earth so the team has done the opposite of what they have been contracted to do. Odious Kamodious then tells Frightful that he has a replacement as the Leader of this team set and its Jason Voorhees! And with that Jason Voorhees is in the Inferno Club and from the start tries to attack everyone and while Bluedragon, Kuga and Frightful try to hold Jason off the one who summoned him Odious Kamodious uses a spell and sends him back to Hell. Odious Kamodious then alerts them that they will no longer be trying to win over souls for Hell but they will now be soul collectors who are sent after people who have sold their souls and their first collection is a guy named Big John Gavin who signed his away for help against crime bosses and to rise to power and wealth in the city of Chicago’s crime. The team gear up and get ready as Harrigan seems to be bothered as they are returning to his home town, and they also learn that Angel Pristine is going along this bounty collecting mission. While Big John knows they are coming for him and alongside his friend and muscle bound trainer Bjorn they come up with a plan to fight the demons off and to save his soul. Satan’s Six shows up at Big John’s home and we find out that he was once a bad guy but has now turned his life around and was once the best friend of Hard Luck Harrigan and changed his life after Harrigan was killed in a Mob shootout. Frightful doesn’t care about the change as the contract was signed and its time for his soul to be collected, while Big John runs from Bluedragon and Kuga his friend Bjorn has a fist fight with Frightful as Dr. Mordius by accident turns his own head into a giant flower from a bad potion all the while Pristine and Dezira watch from the sidelines. While all this madness is going on Harrigan disappears and all of a sudden lawyers for Big John show up and discover that the world soul is spelled wrong in the contract as its sole so Big John pays up with one of his old smelly shoes and the Satan’s Six is forced to return to base with one shoe as their prize. Later that night Pristine visits Harrigan and informs him that she will put in a good word for him in Heaven as she knows that it was he who changed the wording on the contract to save his friends soul from damnation. Harrigan tells her thanks but he now has new friends that need his help as Fury is chasing Dr. Mordius around who still has a flower head mistaking him for a tree.

Satan’s Six is not for everyone as it really is a very silly Horror Comedy comic that has elements of Superhero to it and the humor is super cheesy as is the plots and jokes. The final issues plot has our team going to collect a soul on a contract date and soon finds that the one they are after was the best friend of their teammate Harrigan and he uses his gambling under hand tricks in order to save his friend from an Eternity in Hell. The Satan’s Six members seem to know that they are failures and go along with the job change as it seems like it would be more easy to do, and like always the fail in their mission and another person is saved. Hard Luck Harrigan is the main focus of the team in this final issue as we get to know that he is from Chicago and only sold his soul in order to save his but from some bad dudes he pulled a con over on, we also know that he died via being shot multiple times by Mobsters. While Harrigan has done bad things in his life he also clearly cares about his friends old and new and will do the right thing to protect them. The other member that takes a spotlight is Frightful the demon who is saddled with having to lead these goofs in mission that they always seem to fail, he is super annoyed by them and it’s clear he knows that this experiment will not end well for him nor Odious Kamodious who came up with this earn you place in Hell plan. And that’s the thing while all the members of Satan’s Six stay the same for the most part, their more good nature is brought out over the four issue mini series. Having a cameo by Jason Voorhees that also acts as a plug for the film and comic adaptation was also a nice touch and helped add to both the Horror and the Humor as he tried to slash Odious Kamodious with his trusty machete causing the demon to scream for help. And just like the Lloyd Kaufman cameo, we will talk a little more about it later in this update. The comic is bloodless and goreless and the Horror elements more come from the fact it’s about Hell and souls being taken to it than your normal 90’s Horror Comic flare. And I am proud to say that I enjoyed this mini series in 1993 when it was released and in 2021 still found myself enjoying it and wishing that Topps Comics would have given us more, well they kind of did with the three issue mini series “Satan’s Six Hellspawn” but that will be for another update in the future. The cover for this issue is eye catching as it has stars all around a chrome version of Jason Voorhees’s hockey mask and would surly bring Horror Comic readers in. The comics interior art is done by John Clary again, and I have to say I think is art got better every issue. Now one thing that many readers had issues with is that Jack Kirby only did a few pages in the first issue before John took over, and I get it as we all love Kirby’s work but keep in mind this comic series came out very shortly before his death. I would say that if you enjoy 90’s indie Horror Comedy Comics, enjoyed Topps Comics, like the characters of Jack Kirby then make sure to check out this mini series as its worth a read and is pretty dang enjoyable. Check out the artwork below with the first being Kirby and the other two being Johns to see they styles used in this comic.

Ok so let’s now quickly talk about how issue four of Satan’s Six has a cameo from Jason Voorhees from the Friday The 13^th film series and the coolest part about this is that this is Jason’s first comic book appearance! The version of Jason used is from Jason Goes To Hell and that makes sense as Topps was also gearing up to do the adaptation of that film. While many reviewers trash the cameo from Jason as they use terms like “Shoe Horned In,” I myself feel like the cameo was well done and showed that even in Hell Jason can not be controlled and just has the urge to kill and kill! And even during the cameo Pristine points out that the cameo was to advertise from the film and comic, as the cameo is used as a humor bit as well as a horror one. It’s also cool to see The Satan’s Six team up on Jason to keep him at bay until he is sent away again. Take a look at the art below to see how Jason looks in this comic.

Ok the other shocking and super random cameo is from Lloyd Kaufman, director and co-owner of Troma Entertainment! That’s right, the mastermind behind the films Toxic Avenger and Class Of Nuke‘Em High shows up in issue three of this series! And Uncle Lloyd being in this comic just shows how much fun Topps Comics had making these issues as they did not follow the normal rules of mainstream comics and added crazy cameos as well as took chances on some classic heroes as well as unproven properties. I just wanted to quickly address how random and awesome this comic cameo was, and let’s be honest, more comics need Lloyd in them! Again all you Troma fans, make sure to check out this issue in order to see Lloyd hire the Hunchback Of Notre Dame for a movie roll.

Satan’s Six might not be the most iconic Jack Kirby created team and in reality they are not even really known to many comic readers as they failed to make a major impact on readers and comic history. But for me, a comic reader who grew up reading Topps Comics, they are a very cool and iconic part of my childhood that brought me some laughs as well as chills and even delivered some amazing cameos that pleased the Monster Kid that I was and am. I really like all the members of the team, and my favorite is Kuga The Lion-Killer as he is truly a brave warrior who has a soft spot for animals. But while Satan’s Six is over, do not worry as we will visit that world again when I do cover the Hellspawn mini series and this will also not be the last time that we take a look at the Kirbyverse here on Rotten Ink as at some point I will cover Captain Glory, Bombast and the others. But for now its time to leave the Kirbyverse as we will next be meeting up in the 1930’s and will be going on some heroic adventures with the one and only Doc Savage in the Marvel Universe! So until then, make sure to read a Topps Comics or three, watch a Horror Comedy film or two and as always support your local Horror Host. See you in a few weeks for a classic hero good time.

From Horror Comic To Horror Movie: Killer Condom (1996)

The world of Horror in film and comics has all types of killers and monsters that make them up, from masked slasher killers to blood sucking vampires and everything in between. In this new update, we will be taking a look at a comic book that sparked an independent horror comedy movie that’s about a ravenous contraceptive condom monster! I will let that set in for a moment…and I am sure by now you know I am talking about the Troma film called Killer Condom.  This will be a From Horror Movie To Horror Comic that has a twist as it was not a movie first but was a comic that was turned into an independent Horror Movie. Here in the US, the film is better known as the comics were German and not really released here until the movie was released. So if your ready to dive into this From Horror Comic To Horror Movie update (see what I did here) lets practice some safe comic reading and explore the weird world of the Killer Condom.

It’s time to take a look at our monster killers that just so happen to be a bunch of condoms with teeth! The Killer Condoms are living organisms that do not have to eat to stay alive but do enjoy biting the privates off males. The Killer Condoms were created by a captive Professor who created them for an overly religious female doctor who thought she was doing God’s work by killing off people she viewed as impure. They are living organisms who attack males and sometime females when they least expect it. While they are a pack, they only mutilate their victims one at a time, and when they attack, they go for blood. The Killer Condoms look like regular condoms up until they turn killer and then they grow flexible razor sharp teeth, are slimy inside and turn from playful to blood thirsty crotch butchers in seconds. Killer Condoms use their teeth to chomp of their victim’s targeted area from private parts all the way to noses. They also can use the element of surprise in order to sneak attack as no one suspects a condom will kill! The weakness of the Killer Condoms is that while they do have a brain, they are not that smart and can be tricked. They also can be killed by gunshots and other manner of attacks humans can inflict on them. So while they mostly only chomp off private parts and are killable, the Killer Condoms are still a pack of evil little monsters who are a threat to mankind and who have a very wicked bite!

So as you can see, the Killer Condoms are true pint size terrors who have terrorized in the world of comics as well as film…and that brings us to the part of the update where we will need to take a look at the film that was made based on these little critters. I will get the film’s plot from our pals at IMDB, and I will write a little about the films production as well as my link to watching the film for the first time. So lets get to our look at Killer Condom in the world of cinema.

Killer Condom (1996)

“The plot takes place in New York, and in the present. In a Hotel called “Quicky” a professor blackmails a student of his into having sex with him. But when the professor puts on a condom, the carnivorous condom bites off his penis and disappears. Detective Mackaroni who gets the case thinks that the college girl just bit off her teacher’s penis! Mackaroni goes to the motel himself to check out the crime scene, in the lobby he finds a gigolo named Bill and he asks him to follow him to crime room, there the two men attempt to have sex when they are suddenly interrupted by the attack of a killer condom.”

Killer Condom was originally a comic book by artist Ralf Konig and in 1996 was turned into a Horror Comedy Movie that was a German production. The film had a fun and quick production and even had help from artist H.R. Giger as a consultant on the Killer Condom designs. In 1998 Troma was the US company to release it and promoted it at the Cannes Film Festival even having a man walking around in a Killer Condom costume. In fact the film was met with good reviews from critics as well as fans who praised the film for its humor. Plus the film got a very limited theatrical run and helped spread the dark strange world of Killer Condom to moviegoers. The film was directed by Martin Walz with Ralf Konig helping him on the screenplay, with actors Udo Samel, Iris Berben, Peter Lohmeyer and Meret Becker in roles. The film in 1996 was released alongside such other Horror Movies as Scream, Hellraiser: Bloodlines, Licantropo, Mary Reilly, Bad Moon, From Dusk Till Dawn, The Craft and Island Of Dr. Moreau to name a very few. While it might not be a household name when people think of classic Horror Movies, it is however a cult film that has made its mark in the world of cinema.

I can remember when Killer Condom came to VHS and DVD as I was very much into collecting Horror Movies and was a big fan of Troma, but the term Horror Comedy used to always scare me away from buying it and giving it a chance. When walking around Dayton Mall and going into stores like Suncoast and FYE with friends like Jason Gilmore and Josh Weinberg, we would see it on the shelf and would always just chuckle at the silly name, but none of us would ever pull the trigger on buying it. Believe it or not, just now in 2018 did I finally breakdown and buy the film on DVD off Ebay and watched it for the first time…and I must say I found it enjoyable. I know one other reason I had stayed away from it was because my pal Andy Copp had seen it and told me it was not very good so I took his word and skipped it. So what has been cool for me doing the update is that it’s my first time seeing the movie as well as reading the comics. One other thing I do remember as well is that at the time of its release, a windup toy of the Killer Condom was made.

So as you can see, Killer Condom is one of those cult films that when released was well reviewed by critics and has maintained a good following and fan base still to this day. So we are at the point of this update where we will be taken a look at the comic book that spawned the cult film and I want to thank Amazon for having both of these books in stock. I want to also remind you all that I grade these books on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comic stays to the source material, its entertainment value and its art and story. So lets see what Killer Condom has is store for us in the world of Horror Comics.

Killer Condom   ***
Released in 1992     Cover Price $9.95     Ignitel Entertainment      # 1 of 2

A man returns home in New York to his wife and bratty kid after turning tricks on the street in order to get drug money, but something went wrong as the man who paid him for sex was in massive pain and next thing they both knew, his penis was detached and stuck inside the man! Once home he passes it out only for something to jump out of the toilet and attack him. Cut across town and a professor has taken one of his students to a sleazy hotel with the idea of sleeping with her in order for her to graduate. She gives in after the creep pushes her, and once he puts on a condom his penis explodes! The young woman is under arrest as they think she bit the penis off of her professor. Detective Luigi Mackeroni is on the case and heads to the same hotel taking a young man to the room to make love to when they witness a condom coming alive and biting off the right testicle of Mackeroni! His partner Sam doesn’t believe him about a Killer Condom and blames the young man for the attack, but once out of the hospital Mackeroni and the young man head to the hotel and set up a hidden camera in a room in hopes of capturing the Killer Condom. But while they wait in that room, the Killer Condom attacks in another! After the attack, the story gets into the press and Sam is pissed about it as he does not think the Killer Condom is real. More and more people are being attacked and having their private parts bitten off, and Mackeroni will not give up until he can stop the Killer Condom. While home Mackeroni takes a shower and gets a phone call from the young man who has fallen in love with the cop who now finds that the Killer Condom is alive and well in his own home looking to bite off his privates! After battling the Killer Condom and even losing one of his fingers, Mackeroni with the help of the young man is able to trick the Killer Condom into biting a gas hose and then throwing it out the widow and shooting it causing it to explode and ending its reign of terror in the city.

The comic and the movie, while similar in spots, are very much different, and oddly enough I think the movie does a better job of bringing the character Mackeroni to life and this is strange as the comic came first. The comic’s plot is about a sleazy hotel that is used by prostitutes and people wanting to remain under the radar to have sex at, and when many visiting males are having their privets bitten off, one Detective is called in to solve the case and finds that its all being done by a razor sharped teeth condom! Our hero is a snarky detective named Luigi Mackeroni who loves his cigarettes and loves his casual sex. Plus he is the only one in law enforcement who knows that a condom is really doing the mutilations. He is both unlikable and likable, and you find yourself cheering for him to get his revenge on the condom for ripping off his testicle. The side characters all fit their parts and do what they need to do to keep the plot going and add to the New York created for this story. The Killer Condom is a mean razor sharped teeth private part eating machine that has no remorse for his blood soaked deeds, plus it has no background on how or why a condom is now alive and a chomping machine. This horror comic does have lots of blood and gore but it’s all done in a cheesy cartoonish nature. It also has lots of sex and what’s funny is the art style reminds me of MAD Magazine who never would have done this style of raunchy. Ralf Konig was a one-man show on this comic as he did the art, cover and story and its all-good stuff. One thing I do want to stress is that hands down this comic is not for youngsters. It’s really an adult comedy horror comic that is really odd and packed with lots of themes that will make even adult readers squirm as private parts are being bitten off! Over all this was a fun comic, and I can’t wait to see the second book has in store for me.

Down To The Bone  **1/2
Released in 2011     Cover Price $14.95     Ignitel Entertainment     # 2 of 2

New York wakes up on New Years Day to find three dead bodies all connected to the gay club scene. Detective Luigi Mackeroni is asked to take the case, and he of course is not to pleased about it. Mackeroni arrives at one of the crime scenes where his captain informs him that he will be teaming with Officer Plumley and that the victims are only skeletons now and no blood, flesh or organs were found! So Mackeroni and Plumley set out to check out the crime scenes and get some leads about a gay porn star who is in town that one of the victims was trying to flirt with. Meanwhile a muscular stranger in leather is the one going around and having sex with men who are sucked into his crotch area and their bones are spit out of his mouth showing this massive and quiet stranger is indeed the killer. Mackeroni sends Plumley dressed in leather to the bar to interview the porn star who seems to be sad and not into his work as he feels people only want him for his body. Mackeroni and the porn star hit it off and hang out for the night and are about to make love when Plumley shows up and has a heated talk with Mackeroni. This allows the Billy the porn star to escape, and he or someone who looks like him is the killer who is really a weird looking mutant in a flesh skin costume! Mackeroni finds an old professor named Smirnoff who once made fake flesh and condoms. He and his Asian assistant are prime suspects for who made this killer Mutant and the Killer Condom! Mackeroni soon finds a hidden lab that has all the answers to his questions as he learns that Smirnoff has been kidnapped and forced by drugs to make a mutant monster who eats gay men and the Killer Condom who has a spawn in the lab as well! He also learns that a trusted female doctor who is really a crossdresser and the Asian assistant are part of a religious cult that forces these creations to be made to kill of all the impure. In the end Mackeroni and Plumley are able to kill the mad doctor and all her evil friends including the Killer Condom and save Smirnoff from his captors. Mackeroni is able to clear the name of Billy who quits porn and the two become close friends.

This second issue in the Killer Condom saga has Mackeroni on the case of a killer who is stripping the flesh off victims that turns around to be connected to the Killer Condom! In this issue, Mackeroni has lost his boyfriend as well as his drive to be a cop and is called once more to crack a weird case that is effecting the gay community. This time he is forced to work with a partner and finds new love when he meets a porn star named Billy. Just like before, he outsmarts his foes, saves the day and stops the plot that’s in place to kill many innocent people just because of their sexual orientation. His partner Officer Plumley is a straight laced guy who is forced on the case by the Chief and soon finds that he himself is attracted to men. He also saves Mackeroni twice in the final battle! Professor Smirnoff is a crazy old man who is addicted to berry jelly that has been laced with drugs and is a whiz at creating artificial flesh as well as strange creatures. The flesh-eating monster takes on the look of famous male porn stars and eats people in order to survive. He also spits an acid like venom and while a killer is not fully evil. The Killer Condom’s spawn is alive and well and is mad as hell and wants to attack and chomp on any privates he can find, but I should note he plays a very small part in the over all story. The evil crossdressing cult leader is crazy and wants to clean the Earth of the “impure” and when she gets hers in this comic, I was happy. The story this time around was only okay, and while entertaining, it dragged in spots and felt a little more crude for being crude’s sake. I will also say that I felt that Mackeroni also seemed a little off and not like he was in the first issue making it feel a little off. I did notice that elements of this comic were used in the film but much of it was cut out. The comic as well has blood, gore and lots of sex and is clearly not for kids. Once more, the art reminds me of MAD Magazine and the work of Don Martin. It is fun and silly and once more done by Ralf Konig who also wrote and did the cover. Over all the Killer Condom comics are a fun and silly read that helped spawn a goofy cult horror film. Check out the art below to see the style of Konig.

As you can see, the Killer Condom is one mean S-O-B, and while in the comics only two of them were ever made, in the movie several of them were in New York chomping away. But no matter the amount, Killer Condom is one Horror Movie baddie I would never want to meet! For our next update we are staying in New York but instead of looking at a Horror Movie, we will be taking a look at a Six Fingered Hand that hosted them and of course that must mean Chiller Theatre and another Horror Host Icon update! So until next time, watch a Horror Movie or two, read a Horror Comic or three and as always support your local Horror Host! See you next update for a real CHILLLLLEERRRR!

The Softer Side of the Toxic Avenger

In the mid 80’s and throughout the 90’s big companies were buying up licenses to turn anything into toys, cartoons, video games and comics.  I mean there were Nintendo games based on Jaws, Conan The Barbarian, Friday the 13^th and A Nightmare on Elm Street and many more off the wall selections. So independent sleaze studio Troma thought hey why not us and made a cartoon series based on their R-rated drive-in/video hit film The Toxic Avenger to Fox, and not to anyone’s surprise it happened. For those readers who may not know what Troma is I will give you a quick rundown.  Troma is an independent film studio based in New Jersey, owned and run by Lloyd Kaufman & Michael Herz who specialize in making and buying low budget films to release in grindhouse theaters, drive-ins and the home video market (Beta,VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray).  They are know for sex, boobs, mutants, slime and gore and besides the Toxic Avenger movies, they are known for Class of Nukem High, Mothers Day and Terror Firmer. While Troma is still around, they are no longer the power houses they once were, but I still love them anyway. Fox, who only aired 5 out of the 13 episodes, thought that they had something special that could have been a runaway hit much like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they would soon be shown wrong.  The show would be canceled and shown for awhile on USA’ Networks Cartoon Express. While I would love to get into some funny stories about the films about The Toxic Avenger, I will save them for when I take a look at Marvel Comics’ short run of issues based on it.

The Toxic Crusaders first aired in 1991 for Fox and followed Toxie, his loud mouth mother and his bimbo girlfriend Yvonne as they team up with a band of freaks, such as No-Zone a big nosed, wheeled legged blue skinned one time pilot.  Junkyard is a mix of homeless man and stray dog.  Major Disaster is a planet man who controls plants, and Headbanger is a two headed person that has one half surfer dude the other mad scientist! Put them all together and you have The Toxic Crusaders who want to stop all the pollution caused by alien smog lover Dr. Killemoff and his band of evil mutants. The series ran for 5 episodes before FOX decided that it was a no go and pulled the plug on it, but it did show briefly on USA’s Cartoon Express. This was a cartoon that took a stand to try and teach kids to try and save the environment much like Captain Planet and Swamp Thing, but did so in more of a silly goofy nature. I remember being pretty hyped to watch the cartoon, and was super let down by it and found it to be mediocre at best.  While the animation was cheap looking, it was more of the lame story lines that made me stop watching after the 3^rd episode in. I later watched episodes on USA and still found it just so-so. The show had a total of 13 episodes, and while not all of them aired on TV, you can find the whole series on DVD thanks to the fine folks at Troma who put it in their Toxic Avenger Box Set. The show has built up a small cult following, and while I still find it cheesy bad, it’s that charm that makes me still remember it and its theme song to this day. Oh did you notice they call him Toxie and not Toxic Avenger?  I guess they wanted to make him more kid friendly.

Playmates was a huge toy company at the time, and they were doing figures for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Barnyard Commandos, Dick Tracy, Darkwing Duck and many more.  They ended up getting the rights to make action figures based on this short lived series. The figures were in scale with the Ninja Turtles, and I am sure that many kids had that amazing toy cross over, and came with many weapons most of which glowed in the dark. Not to mention the figures also had a vehicle line that made many off the wall rides for the Crusaders and baddies. The toy line came and went and not much hype was put into them. I do remember the TV commercials for the toys, and I did know a few friends who had the figures at school. When I was younger I only had 2 of them and that was Dr. Killemoff and his skeleton mutant henchman Bonehead, both of which I got new at Big Bear. It’s crazy looking back that I passed on Toxie to get the bad guys that while cool figures were not nearly as cool as Toxie’s. I do remember having Killemoff & Bonehead team with the Shredder & Krang to try and stop the Ninja Turtles, and later Dick Tracy and Itchy were added into that “story line”. Over all the line was short lived, but they were pretty neat figures.

Not only were toys made based on the cartoon but so were video games for Nintendo, GameBoy and Sega Genesis. The game on all formats was a side scrolling beat’em up that would have Toxie fighting from level to level to get to Killemoff. In my youth the only one I played was the Sega Genesis version, and that’s because me and my brother rented it from a small video store called K & L Video. The game was entertaining and a little annoying in game play.  I remember staying up late trying to beat it but never did, and we had to return it in the rented time frame. K & L was my favorite video store in the area and stocked way better stuff then Blockbuster Video.  The horror section was amazing, and he carried games for the older systems. Kenny was the owner, and he was a super cool guy, always giving pep talks and posters & selling horror VHS to me. But sadly Kenny (who’s real name was Michael Wayne Brown) made a mistake in his youth and killed a man during a botched robbery.  After being captured, he escaped and went on the run finally settling here in Ohio.  Changing his name, he opened a video rental store and became the champion of good deeds to the teens in the area. I think Kenny saw some of us who might have been on a bad path and wanted to make a difference and steer us away from mistakes he made in his past. Kenny ended up turning himself in after his story aired on Unsolved Mysteries, and an employee knew his secret.  Kenny did make a mistake in life, but he should be used as a speaker to troubled youth.  He could make a difference in someone’s life.

Not only were toys, video games and comic books made based on this short lived cartoon but there were also coloring books, trading cards, Colorforms, Halloween masks, T-shirts and puzzles.This showed you everyone thought that this cartoon series was going to be a huge hit with kids, and the money making machine was in full effect. In fact New Line Cinema bought the rights to turn the cartoon into a movie, but when the series bombed, the plug was pulled. Troma sued New Line and won for not coming through on their side of the agreement. I used to have a Toxie Halloween mask but due to age the cheap mask degraded and is now a mangled mess.

 

So in short Toxic Crusaders was a cheesy fun cartoon that in all terms bombed but sparked a ton of merchandise all that was made to cash in the the super popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It played very shortly on Fox and switched to USA. In 1992 Marvel Comics made a 8 issue series based on the cartoon that never had a full time writing staff, but will this series be good? Remember I rate the issues on the 1-4 scale and base it on art, story, how close it stays to the source material and over all entertainment value. So let’s get Toxic!

Toxic Crusaders # 1  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #1 of 8

“The Making of Toxie”. Dr. Killemoff is an evil man with four arms and purple skin who loves smog and toxic waste and has decided to dump a very toxic batch in Tromaville, New Jersey where an accident causes Melvin Junko to fall into the batch and turn into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength known as Toxie! Our hero makes his home in the city’s junkyard and comes to the aid of a nearly blind dim whit blonde babe named Yvonne and causes bully Bonehead to turn into a skeleton mutant himself and is joined by Killemoff, Pyscho (his righthand man) and the radiation rangers who all jump Toxie. But a bus full of fellow good mutants show up to help lead by Major Disaster (who controls planets).  The team consists of No-Zone (with power of Sneeze), Head Banger (two headed) and Junkyard (a dog man).  They save Toxie, run off the bad guys and become The Toxic Crusaders!

This first issue is a fun read but does have lots of flaws in the very rushed story. The coming together of the team is done so half heartedly that the impact of them being a positive team is lost, and worst is the comic seems to be in on the fact it’s lackluster and even takes pot shots at itself! The build up of a feud between Killemoff and Toxie is for the most part vacant and not fleshed out, leaving it to be a very loose rivalry.  I mean I get the fact Toxie loves the environment and Killemoff who is a giant roach wants the world to be poisoned with foul air, but I am pretty sure that would make anyone hate Killemoff and want to stop him. Plus they way over used the phrase “hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength” to the point of being annoying. The good things about the issue are that they did a good job of putting the cheesy cartoon into a comic book and do a good job of showing Toxie’s birth and keeping it close of the R-Rated film he comes from.  The comic also has some good and shocking action as Toxie even knocks a punk’s eyeball out…now that’s hardcore! The art is also well done and has a nice cartoonish look. The cover art on this one is not very well done and is for the most part generic. Over all this is an average action comic based on a cartoon and was worth the read.  Let’s see if the same could be said for issue 2.

Toxic Crusaders # 2   **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #2 of 8

“The Big Broadcast of 1992”. Island City is the smog-infested home of Killemoff who has come up with a ray that will spread pollution throughout the world and interrupts a TV show to go about his plan and to challenge the Toxic Crusaders to try and stop him. Toxie and team enter the sewers and walk to Island City to find a horde of Radiation Rangers and Tromaville’s own fat Mayer Grody along side them.  Toxie and team defeat them and head to the tower of Killemoff, but they are met by Bonehead, Psycho and a horde of troops.  Only Toxie has time to get to the top as the team holds off the bad guys.  Toxie tries to talk Killemoff from using the ray but fails and the ray is used! Toxie and the Crusaders return to Tromaville to find it the same and not polluted because the ray was a dud!

This issue is again average all the way around, but this time the plot is a little more fleshed out and there are many more fighting panels that make it chug along. The issue, like the previous, seems to make jokes about itself, making you wonder just how miserable the writers must have been working on this comic series. The plot is very typical and has Toxie and Friends going to the bad guy’s hideout to stop him from causing harm to the whole world.  Wwhile that premise has been done many times, it’s still a good generic plot that you feel okay reading again. The rest of the Crusaders also get a little more panel time and are turned into likable side characters that are good for one liners and fighting. The fact that Toxie failed to stop Killemoff also makes our hero seem incompetent and a dummy, and those aren’t not good traits for a superhero to have. The art in this issue is for the most part the same as the last issue but this one does make parodies of many other media such as Wheel of Fortune, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Jack and the Beanstock among many others. While again capturing the cheesy nature of the cartoon, this just seem to be missing something. The cover on this one is also very so-so, and making this issue over all just average all the way around.  This is not a good start for this series so let’s hope 3 breaks the average mold. 

Toxic Crusaders # 3  ***
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #3 of 8

“Night of the Living Dessert”. Killemoff is at it again, but his money man from his home planet is mad about all the money that is being wasted to fight the Toxic Crusaders and to gain Tromaville.  So a plan is hatched to poison a batch of custard to get at the men of Tromaville. Bonehead screws it up and instead delivers the wrong batch of goo, and the company makes a Custard Man Monster who just wants someone to eat him! But once it attacks Yvonne, Toxie and The Crusaders must track down the slimy dessert monster before it chokes and kills someone.  The Crusaders attack the creature but only seem to make it mad when they won’t eat it alive.  So it grows and is about to destroy Tromaville.  Killemoff has an idea that if the Crusaders eat the custard man it will live in their bloodstreams and he will be able to control them.  This backfires on him.  As they eat the monster he comes to brag, only to get a toxic team burp that knocks him from his car and landing hard on the ground and then having the car fall and crush him.  Toxie and friends win this round and head home to the junkyard for a well deserved nap.

This 3^rd issue is a fun ride that reminds me of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle issue from Archie Comics! The plot has the team having to fight and eat a monster man made of mutated custard, in order to free it and pay back Killemoff with a wicked team burp. This issue has lots of humor that works and does not make fun of itself or the reader. Killemoff and his men are used not only as villains but also as stooges who get beat up and things dropped on them. Toxie also comes off very heroic as does the whole team. One of the better things about all the issues so far is while it’s a dumb cheesy series it really does have good messages hidden under its childish nature. The Mutant Custard Man is a great character that while hurting people just really wants some one to eat and enjoy him; you see he really just wants to be liked. The art work is good and cartoonish.  The cover while silly still is well done, and the plot is fun making this the best issue this far in the series. Let’s see if issue 4 can keep this on the right path and make for another good issue. 

Toxic Crusaders # 4  *1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #4 of 8

“Gnaws” Dr. Killemoff has set bombs in the sewers of Tromaville to explode and cause the city’s toilets to shoot out waste filling the streets, but his plan is stopped by Toxie and crew who go down to get rid of the bombs but before they can they must face a very pissed off giant rat. In the end Toxie’s mop saves the day. Story 2 is “Porcelain Paranoid” Killemoff is at it again as he pumps deadly water into Tromaville, killing many people with its acid like powers, but Toxie saves the day as he uses No-Zone’s massive sneeze to push the bad water back to Island City. Story 3 is “From Seat to Shinning Seat” has Toxie trying to clean a very messy bathroom for a factory and instead meets an undead plumber who fights what he thinks is a giant turd monster!

This issue is 3 short stories all having to deal with pipes, poop, muck and toilets, and none of them are any good! They all feel very rushed and for the most part each have very similar endings making them all seem almost interchangeable. Out of the 3 stories the best is “From Seat to Shinning Seat” just for the fact it’s the only one that don’t cram so many characters into one lackluster story. I am not sure why they chose to do this issue with different stories, artist and writers but it made for one poor read. Toxie’s attitude and speech changes in almost each story, and while in the cartoon the mop never was alive but now all of a sudden 4 issues in the mop is alive and the brains of the team. The art in the first story is piss poor and is very sloppily done.  The rest of the art for the other stories is what came before. The cover is one of the only nice things I can say about this issue.  So to sum it up this is this far the worst issue in the run.  I hope issue five brings the series out of the toilet!

Toxic Crusaders # 5  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #5 of 8

“Delivery System” Toxie’s body warns him of danger, and he and the Crusaders rush off to save the day, but as Toxie keeps running the Crusaders stop the ice cream headed Double-Dip gang.  Toxie runs out of town and finally collapses from exhaustion and it’s shown that Psycho and Bonehead has figured a way out to make his blood boil and they want to use this to make Toxie a walking bomb.  Toxie’s Mom has reconnected with her old high school love, and he is the key to set off the bomb that is now Toxie.  In the end he has a change of heart and before Toxie explodes Major Disaster uses No-Zone to destroy the detonator.  Once more The Toxic Crusaders save the day and are treated to Liver and Onions in BBQ Sauce.

The series picks back up to average with this issue, and I am fine with that.  This time around Killemoff takes a backseat as the main bad guy, and Psycho and Bonehead take the role and come up with a good plot to kill the Crusaders by making Toxie a bomb. They also flesh out Mom’s role in the series and show her back history that is done like a twisted version of an Archie comic. The issue has comedy, drama and action and makes it a fun read, and I think its funny how at the start they beat up a gang of thugs who have heads like ice cream scoops. They also go back to the mop not being alive and a character, and again I am totally cool with that. The thing is I am not sure if this issue is as good as it seems or of it’s just that the last issue was so bad that it made this issue seem better. Plus the cover claims that it has the “Grossest” kiss in comic history, and it’s just Toxie’s Mom kissing her old man lover…yeah…not worth the build up. The art work is standard for the series, and the cover is pretty damn eye catching. Over all I found myself enjoying this issue, and while not the best in the series thus far, it was a solid average outing.  So let’s see if issue 6 is any good.

Toxic Crusaders # 6  ***
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #6 of 8

The Toxic Crusaders are yesterday’s news and have lost all the female groupies to Corporal Globe and The Globiteers who have came into Tromaville and beaten all of Killemoff’s new plans. Corporal Globe is a environmental super powered being who wants nothing more than to save Mother Earth from pollution and the ladies love him for it. Toxie and team are thinking about packing up and leaving to see if another city would need their help when Psycho comes up with walking time bombs that when exploded releases Jock Sweat all over town! And when one explodes Corporal is down for the count, and its up to The Toxic Crusaders to save the day, and when they do the town and ladies are back on their side.  The Globiteers disband and leave Corporal all alone.

This issue is really fun and is one big parody of Captain Planet and his sappy messages about keeping Mother Earth clean. Corporal Globe comes off as an ego driven hero who who believes in his message but also seems to be doing it for the fame. In the issue Toxie seems to take a more side character approach until he is needed to save the day. There is also a ton of random cameos from such people as Ted Turner and Rowan Atkinson all of whom just seem to pop up in Tromaville. This issue was also to mark the end of the series.  In the back of the issue states that the current series has ended with this issue but a new # 1 is coming soon….wonder what happened as two more issues followed this one! The art is hit and miss in this one as some times it seems sloppy and rushed, but the story line seems more thought out than issues of the past and makes this next to issue 3 the best in the series so far. The cover on this one also is pretty rocking, and while this goes away from the source material I still think the premise works and makes the characters more fun and while making fun of themselves it’s not rammed down your throat like in the first couple of issues. This is a very good issue and makes me wonder what the next issue holds.  So with that, let’s not wait and get into issue # 7!

Toxic Crusaders # 7  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #7 of 8

“Girl Power” Yvonne is sick and tired of being treated like a slave while at the dump hideout house of the Toxic Crusaders who make her cook, clean, bend over to stare and get comics for them.  So she does what any smart woman would do, she leaves. She gets it in her head that she will go to Island City and defeat Killemoff once and for all, but what she finds is that Psycho has created a time machine and has gone back in time and got a giant man made of Asbestos who is on his way to Tromaville to posion and kill the citizens. Yvonne with the help of Toxie’s mom warns the team of its coming in a round about way and feeds them a plan that Toxie can take credit for.  The plan works, the Asbestos Man is defeated and Yvonne and Toxie are happy once more.

This issue’s cover lies! When first picking this issue up one would think that The Crusaders were on the popular USA Cartoon Express, but sadly this just doesn’t happen and we only get the Cartoon Express in a very tiny cameo. In fact this issue again has some cameos with the best being The Bride of Frankenstein who Psycho uses the Time Machine on to bring to the present to go on a date with. The plot is good and gives Yvonne time to shine making the issue more about her then the Crusaders.  This is a good thing and adds some spice to the series. It is odd that they all treat Yvonne like a useless slave, and Major Disaster comes off as a sleaze as he clearly keeps checking out her boobs and ass and making comments about them! And why is Toxie okay with his team mate asking his girlfriend to bend over in front of him so he can see her butt?! The art in this one is fun cartoonish again, and this is the style I like for this series. To sum it up great plot, Yvonne rocks, lying cover, good art and some fun cameos make this one a fun time. Let’s see how the final issue goes and will it make this series go out with a bang. 

Toxic Crusaders # 8  *1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #8 of 8

“Toxzilla” Killemoff has kidnapped a tourist and turned him into a 500ft toxic giant who is sent to Tromaville to crush, eat and destroy everything in sight. So Toxie and the Crusaders head into town to do battle and are eaten by the monster! And once inside they must dodge tapeworms and Radiation Rangers to stop Toxzilla’s brain.  Once they do so Toxie and crew save the day again! “Beau No3e” Nozone is feeling lonely and Killemoff has made a woman out of sludge to blow up The Toxic Crusader’s hideout but the sledge woman starts to feel for Nozone and turns on her makers!

This issue is a complete mess and is back to having multiple stories, and none of them worth much more then a once read. Toxie & crew in the first story “Toxzilla” fight a fat bloated disgusting giant.  Oh wait, they barely fight him and spend most the issue inside his body and cram as much gross stuff in it as possible. The second story “Beau No3e” is a complete waste of time and adds nothing to The Toxic Crusaders story arc we have been dis-treated to in the past 7 issues. The message of save the environment is missing and instead random gross stuff is thrown into its place. The art in both stories is terrible and seems very rushed, given that this was the intended last issue in the series, it’s clear as day that no one working on the comic gave a rat’s ass about the story, art and presentation. This issue just stinks all the way around and has more crap moments then good making this the winner of worst issue in the series.

The Toxic Crusaders was a failed attempt to capture the popularity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in both cartoon and comic forums. The biggest issue with the comic is lack of care that was given to the property,  The characters’ moods and style change several times as do the artist and writers making the 8 issue Marvel series  come off as a clustered mess with no direction. Plus it’s clear that Marvel wanted to do very little with the series once the cartoon and toy line was canceled and only stayed with it due to contract with Troma. I mean the series was slated for “last” issue a number of times during its short run! In fact issue 8 that was the planned last issue for the series states that a 4 issue mini series was in the works, and as you can see that never happened. Plus let’s be blunt: taking a character like Toxic Avenger who is a R-Rated hero, who in the films rips off arms and beats people with them or makes their face into a milk shake and the changing his name to Toxie and making him a lovable nature loving knuckle head is just not a recipe for success. But on the other hand, I give both Troma and Marvel credit for trying something new and making a extreme step into trying to make a kid show hit. Over all The Toxic Crusaders run at Marvel was a mediocre at best effort that produced more so-so issue then solid good ones. I was never sold on the cartoon and am not sold on the comics! I want to thank Game Swap Kettering and Lone Star Comics for having the issue for me to get for this review. Next update we are going to do something a little different instead of a look back and a review of Star Comics, we are going to be doing an interview with local Dayton, Ohio comic artist and maker Jason Young who has made the hit indie book Veggie Dog Saturn! So see ya next update.