R.I.W Wrestling Legend: The Missing Link

Welcome back to Rotten Ink, my micro part of the web, where I share my love for media, from comic books all the way to horror hosts and even sports mascots! One thing that I feel I have been lacking in for my blog is my love for wrestling even though over the 10 plus years that I have been doing this blog I have covered wrestlers that have had comics like The Road Warriors, Kevin Nash, King Kong Bundy, Chyna and Sunny The California Girl as well as my love for Lucha Libre with my Top 60 countdown and even delivered my first “Indie Luchador” update that was about El Incredible Hulk earlier this year! And now I want to present a new update series that I will be calling “R.I.W Wrestling Legends” and will be like my “Horror Host Icon” updates showcasing a wrestler that I have gotten a Best of DVD set of. I will mostly be talking about the wrestler themself and not their personal lives as these update will be all about the squared circle grapplers, will be semi-short and sweet and will highlight why they are a wrestling legend. I will also be covering some modern superstars as well as indie guys and even jobbers! And all of the updates of course will be brought to you from the Rotten Ink Arena that is right next door to the Rotten Ink Theater, both of which are across the street from the Rotten Ink Stadium and a few miles away from Rotten Ink Ranch. The first wrestler I have chosen is one that has always captured my imagination and one that I have always been a fan of, the one and only Missing Link! So let’s find our seats and sit back and relax and talk about this should-be WWE Hall Of Famer ,the green face painted, own hair pulling, head butting madman himself Missing Link.

Dewey Robertson started training for wrestling in the 1960’s and was trained by Jack Wentworth and Al Spittles.  Like all wrestlers of his time, he started working in the territories, mostly in Canada, and was well liked by fans as he was very much a classic baby face and wrestled that style. Dewey would make his mark on Canadian wrestling and would start a run in America and Australia for a year before returning to Canada as The Masked Crusader whose mission was to make the world of wrestlers have to wrestle a scientific style and was anti brawling and would start a feud with The Sheik who would unmask him and this would also cause Dewey to team with Billy Red Lyons to form the team The Crusaders. In the early 70’s he started to work for federations that had ties to the NWA and would even win NWA Tag Team Gold with partner Dennis Stamp who is known for being the “Not Booked” guy from the documentary Beyond The Mat, and would also later get more gold with partner Billy Red Lyons. Dewey would really have a great run being in tag teams as he was a draw and the crowds seemed to enjoy his style and this would also allow him to wrestle in Japan. Dewey’s career started to gain steam and he would go on to wrestle in Jim Crockett Promotions and would be involved with matches for not only the NWA but also the AWA, Mid-Atlantic and Central States Wrestling and had many great matches with names like Nick Bockwinkel, Harley Race, Ken Patera, Mr. Fuji, Jerry Valiant and Manny Fernandez. But in 1983, Dewey would have a major change to his career and this change would also bring the world of wrestling a true Wildman!

In 1983 Dewey changed his gimmick to a crazed man that acted weird and was calling himself “Max The Missing Link”! But when he would go to WCCW (World Class Championship Wrestling) in Texas, the territory that was ran by Fritz Von Erich, he would drop the Max from his name and just call himself The Missing Link and would be managed by the dastardly Skandor Akbar and would feud with the Von Erich’s and would be totally booed as the Wildman would try to bring down the likes of Kevin, Kerry and Mike. During this time with WCCW is when his career really started to grow as the area was a hot bed for wrestling, and by becoming The Missing Link, he stood out from the other heels in the territories he would wrestle in. After his stay in WCCW, he would go for a while to wrestle in Championship Wrestling In Florida and once more was a draw due to his odd behavior and crazy look.

In 1985 he would be signed to WWF and was a heel again that was managed by Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. The amazing part is that his debut was at Madison Square Garden where he beat S.D. Jones in a squash match building in the fans eyes that this Wildman was a threat to all their fan favorite wrestlers. But WWF lead by Vince McMahon had other ideas for The Missing Link as he would spend most of his time beating up jobbers and when he was placed in a bigger match he was on the losing end of it, showing that the WWF used him as an attraction but had no real plans to push him as a mega star as they just didn’t see it in him. He did have matches against an older Bruno Sammartino as well as George “The Animal” Steele with his Bruno match almost getting the WWF banned from Buffalo, New York after Missing Link broke the chairs that the commissioners were sitting in! In late 1985 Heenan would trade The Missing Link and Adrian Adonis to Jimmy Hart in order to get King Kong Bundy under his Heenan Family Stable and he would only stay around for a short amount of time with his last story being that a bounty was on the head of Paul “Mr. Wonderful” Orndorff and Jimmy Hart and The Missing Link went for it and lost, and just like that The Missing Link was gone from the WWF. It’s said that he was Future Endeavored due to a real life drug issue.

After being let go from WWF The Missing Link would return for a short time to WCCW and would be managed by Percy Pringle who WWF fans would know as Paul Bearer and would later turn Face and feud with the likes of The Great Kabuki and Rick Rude. In 1986 The Missing Link would then wrestle for Universal Wrestling Federation for a short time and then would also go back to WCCW as well as World Wrestling Council and would “retire” for a short time. Missing Link would not give up his in ring career and from time to time would still wrestle a match for indie federations and would also be at wrestling conventions meeting and greeting with fans. He would also write a book, do a few Shoot Interviews, get clean from drugs and alcohol and would travel around speaking about the power of God as well as being drug free. Outside of the ring they say that Dewey was a strange man who enjoyed smoking pot, was a nudist, had a violent temper, tried to stab a booker and later in life had very bad things to say about the WWF. Dewey “The Missing Link” Robertson had been battling lung cancer for a while and sadly lost his battle on August 16, 2007 at the age of 68.

The Missing Link is one of those wrestlers that to this day wrestling fans talk about as he made such an impact on fans who grew up watching this Wildman in the ring. Growing up I knew of Missing Link thanks to the old wrestling magazines my brother Bryan had as well as all the young reader books based on wrestling that were released at the time, and he had always caught my attention as his wild look and green face made him standout. Wait, I almost forgot that he was also featured on the WWF Wrestling Album that we had as kids as well! And sadly back when I was a kid, YouTube was not a thing and in order to watch matches of Wrestlers you had to find old VHS releases or track them down on the grey and trade tape market, and that’s how I first seen a very small amount of his matches when I was a teenager as I was a tape collector and use to buy so many wrestling tapes, and guys like Missing Link and Tiger Mask were on my buy and trade lists. The thing that always made me a Missing Link fan is that for the most part he was a horror themed wrestler who acted like a crazed wild man in the ring, but also could wrestle with the best of them as he was super skilled and a topnotch performer. I feel that Missing Link does not get the credit he deserves when it comes to his in-ring work as I think he could get a good match out of just about anyone and yet could also have brawls with the best of the brawlers. It’s a shame that in real life Missing Link lead a life of drugs and alcohol and made him very bitter toward the WWF. After you read this update, do yourself a favor and head to YouTube and look up Missing Link matches and you will see what I am talking about.

We are now at the point of this review where we will be taking a look at the DVD set and review some of the matches on the discs like always between 4 to 8. I want to thank Coliseum Of Wrestling & Boxing for having this set in stock and also want to thank Missing Link for his hard work in the world of wrestling. I also want to remind you that I will only be breaking down randomly selected matches from this set and will be breaking down the match and will be rating the matches on a 5 Star rating system. I also only choose from singles matches as I want to break down his matches that showcase his style. Here is what the stars mean: ½ means a really terrible match, * means a bad match,** means a below average match, **1/2 means a good average entertaining match, *** means a good match, **** means a great match, *****means an epic match. So if you are ready, let’s step into the ring with Missing Link.

Best Of Missing Link

Match 1: Missing Link vs. Mike Jackson

The Missing Link looks crazed and is jumping around the ring and poor Mike Jackson looks like a lamb lead to the slaughter as when the bell rings Link goes after him causing him to have to dodge the attack. And Mike Jackson then goes on the attack landing some amazing drop kicks and causes Missing Link to roll out of the ring in frustration, but once back in Missing Link goes on a rampage and manhandles Mike who tries to mount a small comeback before Mike eats two diving head-butts and is pinned in what clearly was a squash match. This match was clearly a way for Mid South Wrestling to put over Missing Link and showcase his crazy brawling style as well as to allow his character to grow in the eyes of the fans, as they kept bringing up that Missing Link has never been locked up in a asylum! Over all, a fun quick match that had Link make quick work of a jobber.

Grade: **1/2

Match 2: Missing Link vs. Rip Rogers

When the bell rings both Missing Link and Rip Rogers look ready for a fight, but sadly for Rip Rogers he is no match for Missing Link who dominates the start of the match and is wrestling both as a brawler as well as landing some very classic holds and moves. Rip tries to make a comeback with punches and elbows, but its short lived as Missing Link quickly takes back the match and ends it by putting Rip Rogers in the camel clutch and causes him to tap out! Another squash match to showcase the skill and character of Missing Link, this match besides talking about him never being in an asylum they also talk about him never being in a cult…weird.

Grade: **1/2

Match 3: Missing Link vs. Junkyard Dog

This big feel main event TV match has Missing Link having to test his power against the fan favorite Junkyard Dog who is jumped from the start before the bell even rings by the Wildman. Missing Link unloads on JYD hitting him with his flying head butts and even puts him in the camel clutch trying to end the match and put as much damage on the Dog as he can. But Junkyard Dog still has plenty of fight in him and the pair exchange hits and movies before JYD gets the tide to change in his favor and uses his head butts and power moves to hurt and keep Missing Link at bay. When Link gets the match back in his favor he makes a big mistake when he misses the second rope diving head butt and JYD uses that mistake to hit his finishing move The Thump and gets the three count and the win. A very slower paced match with lots of rest holds and mat work, but one I really enjoyed as it held a classic wrestling feel. I would also say that Missing Link does most of the work in this match and their styles clash really badly, but I feel that is what makes this match so interesting. I will say I do wish for less stalling.

Grade: ***

Match 4: Missing Link vs. Magnum T.A.

Another big feel match as Missing Link takes on Magnum T.A. and the match starts very technical with both showing each other their classic skills and neither are getting the upper hand. Finally the Missing Link nails a dropkick that also allows him to use his falling head butt to hurt Magnum, but as Missing Link climbs to the second rope to deliver his flying head butt he is caught in midair and slammed by Magnum T.A. who gets the three count! This is a short match but is really good as both Link and Magnum showcase their skills and both are very technical in the match. Little shocking on how fast Missing Link looses, but its clear Magnum T.A was being built up as a top star. I would have given a higher star count if the match had been a little longer.

Grade: ***

Match 5: Missing Link vs. Mr. Wrestling II

The two start off at a very slow pace and exchange holds with Mr. Wrestling II doing many stall movies like headlocks and sizing up his opponent as Missing Link tries to push the pace the veteran keeps the speed that he wants and that’s slow and gets the Link in more rest holds. Much of the match is also Mr. Wrestling II threatening to hit Missing Link with his Knee Lift finisher and Link acting scared of it and being frustrated by Mr. Wrestling II’s antics. And even when Link gets the upper hand Mr. Wrestling II is able to turn the tide back to his favor. Finally Missing Link hits an atomic drop and after missing the head butt from the second rope, Mr. Wrestling II nails Link with the Knee Lift and gets the three count. This was a strange match that was filled with lots of rest holds, a wrestling legend moving in slow motion, a wrestling legend doing almost comedy spots and Missing Link doing the job when he should have won, what a weird slow match.

Grade: **

Match 6: Missing Link vs. Kerry Von Erich

The match starts with Kerry and Missing Link exchanging moves with Kerry dropkicking Link out of the ring and once back in they exchange moves again with Kerry always slightly getting the upper hand. Kerry is showing that he is the more skilled wrestler as even when Link deals out some damage, he is able to fight back as the crowd lose it and cheer for everything Kerry does. Finally Missing Link is able to hurt one of Kerry’s knees as he head butts it over and over and this gives the heel a chance to work it over and cause Kerry pain and puts him in danger of loosing the match. As Kerry fights back, Missing Link’s manager Percy Pringle III smacks Kerry with his cane and causes a DQ and after the bell Kerry hits the Link with a tornado punch and knocks him out of the ring and Link and Percy head to the back. A great WCCW match that was a way to showcase the power of Kerry Von Erich as well as the strangeness and raw power of Link and a finish that didn’t make either look bad. I think Link and Kerry’s styles worked well together and seeing Link take the Tornado Punch as the end was really cool. Solid TV match for sure and I would like to see more matches between these two.

Grade: ***

Match 7: Missing Link vs. Jack Victory

Jack Victory tries to start the match off hot by throwing massive hits at Missing Link who does not feel the effects and makes Jack pay for his attack and man handles him throwing him around and landing big hits. Jack is able to make a small comeback and lands some big moves on Link that stuns him for a short bit but a head butt turns the tide in favor of Link once more. The Missing Link lands a great jumping dive onto Jack and then lands a great head butt that knocks Jack out of the ring. Link wins the match after a second rope diving head butt. But after the match, Link’s former manager Percy Pringle III and Rick Rude attack him as he is out of their stable and they want him to pay for leaving, Link is saved by valet Sunshine. This was a squash match that was a way to show the turn of Missing Link from Heel to Face and the crowd are really behind him. Jack Victory does a great job of selling for Link as well lands a few great moves showing that he was not a total jobber. Plus I think Link and Jack worked well together even if it was a throwaway match. Good stuff and WCCW clearly knew how to book Missing Link right.

Grade: **1/2

Match 8: Missing Link vs. Rick Rude

This match is a total grudge match as Missing Link has Sunshine in his corner and his ex-stable mate and world champ Rick Rude has Percy Pringle III and all sides want to win! When the bell rings Missing Link takes it to Rick Rude and does a great job of keeping Rude on the defense as he lands massive hits and moves to the champ. But Rude only takes the beating for a short time before taking control and unleashing a flurry of punches and moves on Link. Once Link is able to find his energy the two exchange blows and the tide goes back and fourth with each getting the upper hand on each other for small bits of time. Rick Rude is able to get some chin locks on Link and this is draining the big man of strength, but thanks to the fans cheering and Sunshine’s support he is able to break free and start to fight back. But Percy interferes with the match and causes Rude to be disqualified and Missing Link is given the victory. After the bell Link and Rude fight as Percy tries to attack Sunshine, but in the end Link and Sunshine stand tall as the crowd goes crazy for them. What a great match as Rude and Link had great chemistry against each other and they had the fans rabid by the end of the match. Link showed that while he is a Wildman he still can wrestle a very solid match with the right opponent, Rude is great as a heel as his in-ring skill was top notch and his heat with the fans is how all heels should be booed and hated. Great storytelling as well with Sunshine being the beauty that is help taming the beast, only downside is the DQ finish as they should have allowed one to score the pin. To sum this one up a great match and another example of why World Class Championship Wrestling was a great company and is truly missed today by fans of wrestling.

Grade: ***

The Missing Link, as you can see, was a great wrestler with a great gimmick who would have been a great opponent for the likes of The Undertaker, The Fiend, Kane and Abyss in more modern times. I mean imagine a match at a Wrestlemania that would have The Undertaker taking on Missing Link with the streak on the line that would have been a great one as both men could show that they could wrestle behind the personas. Missing Link also was a great one to start off my “R.I.W Wrestling Legends” updates as he is a wrestler that I have wanted to talk about for a while but never had the chance to. And this will be the first of many of these updates to come as I have been hard at work selecting who is to come in future updates and there are some really fun ones coming up. For me The Missing Link will always be a great wrestler that I am a fan of and as I have said before in this update, WWE needs to wake up and put him into the Hall Of Fame. Well the Rotten Ink Arena is closing and it’s time for us to leave, but before we do I would like to let you know that our next update for Rotten Ink’s Ten Year Celebration will be a look at a Horror Host Icon that is known as Baron Daemon! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch a wrestling match or two and as always support your local wrestlers.

From Movies To Comics: The Ladies Of Seduction Cinema

Welcome back to Rotten Ink, or, if your a first time reader, thanks for visiting my little geeky place on the web! When I was a teenager one of my closest friends was Jason Gilmore, who was a guy I worked with at Kroger.  We were both baggers, and both of us were rowdy late teens who liked to listen to Danzig, watch pro-wrestling and play Nintendo 64 or Sony Playstation. I can remember many nights Jason and I, with bowls full of junk food and glasses filled with pop, would watch films all night or play video games.  Most of the times the films we would watch were cheesy action films and b-grade horror flicks.  On many of these binge nights of watching films I saw the likes of many Sonny Chiba Kung-Fu flicks and Jess Franco’s terrible shot on video masterpieces, and this is where we also discovered the world of Horror Parody films made by Seduction Cinema that not only packed in silly jokes but also lots of hot women who didn’t mind getting naked. This update is about two comic adaptations of Seduction Cinema films, and I will also share how I found out about the likes of Darrian Cain and Tina Krause. So sit back and relax and take a trip down the wild and sexy world of Seduction Cinema.

My brother Bryan used to always buy horror film magazines like Video Watchdog, Fangoria, Cult Movies, Psychotronic Video and Alternative Cinema, a magazine that showcased films made by Tempe, W.A.V.E, Troma and Camp Motion Pictures among many other independent studios.  These magazines are where I learned about films like Psycho Sisters and first set my eyes on the lovely Tina Krause and so much more in between. The appeal of the magazine was that it covered films, directors and actors that the other horror magazines at the time would not touch and was a great tool when trying to find a VHS film to rent from the local rental store. I can remember always looking at films made by W.A.V.E. with such titles like Sleepover Massacre and Danger In Blue (these are some of the tame ones) that showcased women being murdered and chased by attackers and thinking “Wow, these are sleazy” as if you paid the right amount of money you could have the actresses act out your movie or fantasies like brushing their hair or putting on shoes. But this magazine will always have a special place in my heart; as I stated before it introduced me to Tina Krause as well as the wild parody world of Seduction Cinema! So here is to all of you who worked on Alternative Cinema Magazine for showcasing the films and actors that would have went unnoticed.

VHS and DVD collecting was always a popular hobby for me and my friends, and once more Jason Gilmore was one of those friends who loved to hit Suncoast in the Dayton Mall or Second Time Around on Brown Street and look for films that we wanted to check out on one of our movie marathon nights. The first Seduction Cinema films I ever saw were The Erotic Witch Project and Titanic 2000, two films we found on VHS at Suncoast. I can remember that while we watched the cheesy sex comedies, we would make comments on how hot the actresses were and laughed about just how bad the comedy was. Jason picked Erotic Witch because it starred Darian Caine, and I choose Titanic because of Tina Krause. Over the years I picked up a few more movies with Krause, and the first Seduction Cinema I ever picked up on DVD was Mistress Frankenstein a super cheesy flick that starred Darian as the monster.  Another movie that stands out is My Vampire Lover, a film my then girlfriend Misty loved, and she became a fan on the pin up model Paige Richards who starred in it. When I became a movie reviewer Bloodline Video’s website many great companies were sending us DVD’s for reviews that included Paramount, Elite, Anchor Bay, SRS Cinema and of course Pop Cinema, the parent company of Seduction. Sometimes I miss the days of reviewing movies as it was always a fun time to sit down in front of the TV and fire up the DVD player and watch and write about the movie.  Maybe one day I will return to doing so.

But thanks to being a reviewer I was loaded up with many of the “classic” Seduction Cinema Titles and many of the actresses became names I was familiar with so I figured that I would take this time and give you a rundown on some of my favorites, you know the ones who made some of these cheesy movies better just by showing up and showing out, so here is my top 4 actresses for Seduction Cinema.

AJ Khan

# 4 on my list is the one and only AJ Khan. AJ was born Anju Jena McIntyre in New Delhi, India on June 18^th 1977 but when still an infant her family moved to Phoenix, Arizona.  When she turned 18, she moved to New York were she started to work as a model, dancer and actress and made a name for herself being in music videos, and later she became a sex symbol by posing nude in such magazines as Penthouse and Portfolio. Around this time she also changed her name to AJ Khan and was a professional dominatrix. But in 2000, she began acting in Seduction Cinema soft core parody films in titles like “Erotic Witch Project 2: Book of Seduction”, “Daughters Of Darkness”, “The Erotic Mirror” and “That 70’s Girl” to name a few. Around this time she also was working with Rick Savage on S&M films and even directed a film called “Kinky Casting Couch”. As of 2014 she is still working in independent films and is even in an all female band called Buffalo Gals and has toured with said group. AJ is a beautiful woman who is an exotic beauty and is one heck of a good actress in these sleazy and cheesy movies.

So let’s take a look at my #3 actress in the world of Seduction Cinema, shall we?

Darian Caine

Darian was born in Amherst, Massachusetts on October 24, 1973 and was a cheerleader during her time in school.  This helped her when she wanted to become a model when she went to live in New York. Darian modeled in many catalogs for many products from lingerie to shoes and was a stunning beauty. During this time she also started to take small extra roles in TV shows like Law & Order and did so until she became bored with the mainstream work she was doing. So she took a different route with her career that including being in adult magazines like Swank and Leg Show and as well became an actress for Seduction Cinema and for the most part was the original poster woman for the company and was on most of the company’s promotional items. Her first role was in a film called “Girl Explores Girl: The Alien Encounter,” and she went on to be in such films as “The Erotic Witch Project”, “Mistress Frankenstein”, “The Sexy Sixth Sense” and “The Erotic Ghost” to name a few. Besides Seduction Cinema films, Darian became a very popular actress for many independent horror films and still remains as lovely as ever. She also made two films for After Hours Cinema, a spin off from Seduction that are a little more adult in nature with one being called “Darian Caine My Pleasures.” Darian’s looks reminds me of a hot goth gal mixed with a metal chick, and that’s a-ok with me!

So we have seen AJ and Darian so far, and now it’s for my # 2 actress!

Misty Mundae

Misty Mundae was born Erin Brown in Illinois on October 16 1979 and began her acting career in films made by Factory 2000, a company made by William Hellfire. But after making these cheap films with such titles as “Vampire Strangler” and “The Bizarre Case Of The Electric Cord Strangler,” she began making films for Seduction Cinema and quickly became the company’s biggest and brightest star and became the go to girl for erotic movie parodies. She was in such “classics” as “Erotic Survivor”, “Mummy Raider”, “Roxanna”, “Lust In The Mummy’s Tomb”, “Sin Sisters”, “The Lord Of The G-Strings” and so many more! But also around this time, Misty was starring in Horror Films for E.I. Cinema (Pop), the parent company for Seduction in such films as “Screaming Dead”, “Lust For Dracula”, “Shock-O-Rama” and “Bite Me”. By 2005 she was cutting down her roles in Seduction Cinema titles and began taking roles in bigger budget films under the name Erin Brown as well as TV shows even getting a major role in The Masters Of Horror in a episode called “Sick Girl” and went on to be in such films as “The Rage,” “Holocaust Cannibal” and TV Shows like “Lingerie” and “C.S.I.”. Misty is still an active actress and has even directed a few films like “Voodoun Blues”, “Lustful Addiction” and “Confessions of a Natural Beauty”. What set Misty apart from many of the actresses in these type of films is that she had a girl next door look to her, and she was not made of plastic like so many are, plus on film she gave off a nice girl aura. I for one must say I am a Misty Mundae fan and enjoy her work in horror films as I feel she was fantastic in The Rage and Sick Girl. The first film I ever saw her in was Mummy Raider, a take on the video game series Tomb Raider.

Are you ready for my # 1 actress in Seduction Cinema history? And I am sure it will be no shock to anyone…

Tina Krause

Born on July 29, 1970 Tina Krause began her acting career in 1994 after being spotted at a Chiller Theatre Convention and before that she was a graphic designer and 3D illustrator. Her first film was a Horror film called “Sorority Slaughter” and from this moment on she became an instant hit for fans who enjoy low budget films and stunning scream queens. Many more film roles from WAVE would follow that included “Rana Queen Of The Amazon”, “Female Mercenaries On Zombie Island”, “Sorority Slaughter 2” and many others. In 1998, she made the leap into Seduction Cinema/E.I movies with her first being the original “Psycho Sisters” and many more would follow like “Vampire’s Seduction”, “Crimson Nights” and “Misty’s Secret” as well as many films for Factory 2000, the same company who brought Misty Mundae into the spotlight. Over the years Tina has starred in many films and even was in my good friend Chris Seaver’s Lord of the Rings parody film “Quest For The Egg Salad” where she played an elf named Nienna. Tina is still acting and has many upcoming films this year like “Scars Of A Predator” and “Hunters”, not to mention she also models and is as stunning as ever.  While she was not rammed down your throat like many of the other Seduction actresses, I can safely say that Tina remains my favorite and her beauty is unmatched by all of the Seduction girls past and present. The first time I saw Tina was in a copy of Alternative Cinema magazine and the first full movie of hers was Titanic 2000.

Seduction Cinema has slowed down on making sexy movie parody films as of late, and they don’t seem to have an actress that is the face of the company like they did with Darian and Misty and now focus a lot on independent horror films and classic smut reels.  To be honest, I really dig that they have started to put out more horror flicks like “Phantom of The Grindhouse”, “Porkchop” and “Babysitter Massacre”. But now I think it’s time to take a look at the comics based on Seduction Cinema films, and I want to thank Amazon for having them in stock. I want to remind you that I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and base it on entertainment value, quality of the story, the art and how true it stays to the source martial.  So are you ready to get your Seduction on…wait that sounds gross let’s just start with the comic reviews.

Playmate Of The Apes  # 1  **1/2
Released in 2012   Cover Price $9.99   Seduction Cinema Comics   #1 of 1

Deep in space Commander Gaylor is asleep as her two shipmates Lt. Fornication and Lt. Pushkintucushkin decide to make out with each other and press the do no push button causing their ship to crash on a planet filled with monkeys who act like humans! The girls are taken prisoner and are forced to dance at a strip club to see if they have “soul” and are under the watch of an ape woman named Dr. Cornholeus and a fuzzy gorilla named Dr. Kweera who want to prove to the ape in charge, General Lade, that the new human women from space can dance. Lade is having none of it and is upset at the idea that a human woman has the soul to dance, and this causes them to send away Lt. Fornication and Lt. Pushkintucushkin to an unknown location making their fate a mystery. Commander Gaylor is freed from her cell along with a wild woman named Uvula, and with the two Ape doctors, they go on the run. Lade and his men find out and go on the hunt for the missing human women, but Gaylor only wants to get to her ship so she can go home.  On the journey they meets a barbarian queen who takes the wanted group to her village. But during a rap and dance party at the human village Lade and his men find them and are about to kill them all until a God like figure called The Missing Link, an ape with a human head, tells them that ape and man are the same and the hatred goes out the window as they all have a big party! In the end with some chewing gum they fix Gaylor’s ship and she is off only to land on a planet where everyone is a chicken!

This comic feels like a more adult version of a Cracked Magazine parody of Planet Of The Apes that could have been in their classic magazine. And I should note it has plenty of big oversized naked comic boobs to make it not suitable for younger comic readers. The plot is paper thin and is about three lesbian astronauts crashing on a planet run by apes.  They are forced to dance and are hunted down when some escape. None of the characters are super fleshed out so I will try my best to give you all a little something about the leads of this comic adaptation. Commander Gaylor is a strong willed woman who knows what she wants in life and also has the ability to dance making her stand out among the other females of the planet. Lt. Fornication and Lt. Pushkintucushkin are dimwit goofs who are throwaway characters in this comic and only act as the two who are responsible for the crash and are quickly written out of the comic story. Dr. Cornholeus is a female ape who believes in human woman and think that they do have soul and can dance. Dr. Kweera is a fuzzy ape who is around for one liners and filler. Uvula is a mindless beautiful savage woman who adds nothing but a make out scene to the comic, and the same can be said for the barbarian queen. General Lade is an ape who hates human women and thinks they are all soulless beasts who are good for nothing. And last is the strange Missing Link who has a human head and a body of a gorilla who in a few words makes all the hate between the apes and humans go away, making you wonder what they hell took him so long to do so! The comic is filled with all types of cameos from the likes of C3PO from Star Wars to Hanna Barbara’s Magilla Gorilla truly giving it that Cracked or Mad magazine feel and quality with this just pushing more of adult humor. The art is done by Noel Anderson and is really good and has a cartoon look to it, think Archie Comics meets Star Comics and you have the style.  The downside is that the characters look NOTHING like the actresses that play them in the film. While not perfect, it still is a fun silly read that holds true to the nature of a Seduction Cinema movie.

Well from apes now to a spider-like superheroine (and I am not talking about Marvel’s Spider-Woman), we are talking about Spider-Babe! So let’s get to her adventure, shall we?

Spider Babe  # 1  **1/2
Released in 2012   Cover Price $9.99   Seduction Cinema Comics   #1 of 1

Patricia Porker is a nerd high school student who has a rich best friend named Lisa and lives with her Aunt Maybe and Uncle Flem.  While at school she gets bitten by a radioactive spider that turns her into a superhero who is turned on by other woman and has super strength. Patricia meets Lisa and her sister Lucinda for a short time and gets invited by her friend’s sister to come visit her work, and that night to get some money Patricia has a pro wrestling match as a masked fighter called Spider Babe against the undefeated woman’s champ Queen Bee and spanks her in the ring! After the match, a robber makes a get away and shoots and kills her Uncle Flem so as Spider Babe she takes him down, and from this moment on she becomes a super hero! Meanwhile Lucinda tests an experiment on herself and becomes a pissed off baddie named Femtilian who recruits a gang of clowns to take over the town. Patricia’s life is going good as she has moved in with her friend Lisa and even had saved the boy she likes, Mike, from a pack of red necks! But in the end as Spider Babe she comes face to face with Femtilian, and the two battle in the streets that leads them on top of a building where they learn each others’ true identities.  When Femtilian tries to trick Spider Babe, she accidentally knocks her from the building killing her and turning Lisa into a hater of Spider Babe in the end.

This comic adaptation is a cross between the film its based on, Spider-Man – the film it’s a parody of and once more Cracked Magazine. The plot is a nerd girl gets bitten by radioactive spider and turns into a hot and bothered super hero who takes on a super villain that turns out to be her best friend’s sister. Or I could safely also say that the comic is all about Patricia Porker’s butt as that seems to be the focus on many panels as well as many jokes. Patricia Porker or Spider-Babe is a young woman who is smart, clumsy, in love and loves her best friend Lisa as well as Mark but can’t get her mind off Lucinda, who seems to be her dream lover. Lucinda or Femtilian is a master mind criminal who wants to take over the city with the help of her clown gang and will do whatever she can to gain that power.  Too bad she gets beat up super quickly by Spider Babe and is knocked off a building to her death. The rest of the characters are all throwaways who do what little they can to help move yet another paper thin plot along. The issue is packed with cheesy one liners, some fist to fist action and of course girls making out and captures the goofy nature of the film it’s based on making it a fun read. Like Playmate Of The Apes, this comic has some great cameos like comic strip character Dagwood and even Sylvester P. Smythe from Cracked Magazine! The art is once more well done by Noel Anderson and still doesn’t look like the actresses who played the parts but I found myself not caring as I liked the Archie cartoon look. Not much more can be said about this comic besides if you like your super hero comic laced with sleaze, then this is something I am sure you would like.

So as you can see, these comics are cheesy fun filled with all the charm and nudity of the films and then some as they add in nice over the top cameos from popular characters from movies, TV and magazines. So as of 2015 and this update, I have yet to hear about any other plans for new comics to be made in this series and that’s a shame as I feel that many of their Seduction titles and LOTS of their horror titles would make good comics as I would love to see comics based on Splatter Farm, Babysitter Massacre, and Video Violence.  But time will only tale if more issues are in the fates. Our next update will be coming from Monster Bash Convention again, and we will be taking a look at Fantaco’s adaptation of Night Of The Living Dead.  So make sure to come back and visit for that one! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch a movie or two and support your local horror host.