Local Horror Hosts have crept their way onto TV screens in almost every small town via major broadcast or even public access. And for those who were unlucky and didn’t have a local host, they most of the time at least had the major market ones like Elvira Mistress Of The Dark, Commander USA, Grampa Munster and Joe Bob Briggs to name a few running on major networks. Now in the day and age of streaming and the internet, Horror Hosts can and have spread across the world via this outlet that allow fans and viewers to discover them. But while many Hosts became household names and subjects of playground talk at school, some just sadly never make it to the game or end their run way too soon. One such host who lasted only a short while was Theodore Puertoriquez who never made it past one episode! But my saying has always been no matter how big or small their impact has been, no matter what they air on from Public Access to YouTube, Horror Hosts mean something to their fans and viewers and that’s why it’s with great pleasure I bring to you Horror Host Icon: Theodore Puertoriquez. This update will be a fun quick look at a Horror Host who could have been bigger if only given the chance.
Theodore’s Creepy Kitchen was a show that never got past a pilot episode and has fallen into the world of obscure Horror Hosts with very little known about it. Heck, if not for my cousin Stephen looking on Ebay and finding a copy of the episode on VHS, I sadly would have not found out about this show! The Creepy Kitchen follows catman and host Theodore Puertoriquez and his co-host Bloody Betty as they teach us how to make quick meals based on Horror themes. The show is shot in a basement with the theme of creepy and tasty horror food from burgers to cookies being made in fast, weird and simple ways. The show also added in not only cooking but also the use of a puppet that acted as the show’s villain named Kitty Kruger. The basement setting and its darkness makes for some great atmosphere and helps add to the Creepy Kitchen namesake. The Creepy Kitchen originally started as planned segments that were going to be used in another show that was set to be a Horror Hosted educational experience. But when this fell through, Theodore’s Creepy Kitchen was unleashed on VHS as well as YouTube for fans to discover and enjoy. While it never got time to blossom, this show has slowly gotten a cult following and is a pretty fun a creative piece of Horror Host History! I should also note the show was created in 2010, making it ten years old as of this posting!
The show’s host Theodore Puertoriquez is a catman who wears red glasses, rocks a Cincinnati Reds jersey and loves to host cheesy movies as well as teach the viewers how to make all type of food dishes that tie into Horror Movies. He talks with words and meows and comes off as a fun loving guy who loved being a Horror Host as well as loved to make quick and haphazard meals for everyone to enjoy. We also know that he loves catnip and only a squirt from a water gun will cool him down. He also seems to really rely on his cohost Bloody Betty to not only prepare the meals but also to act as his protector when things go wrong. Theodore is one strange cat….man! He is played by the show creator Jeff aka Kitty Glitter aka Bunnula aka Pussy Tantrum, a man with many names who not only made this Horror Host show but is also a novel writer and podcaster! So while Theodore might not be a household name nor a Horror Host Hall Of Famer, he has made his mark on Hosting and was one weird and great character.
Like all Horror Host shows, Creepy Kitchen also had a co-host with cheerleader Bloody Betty who acted as not only the host at times but also the hero of the day as she adds a new layer of oddness and over all fun nature to Creepy Kitchen. She also comes off as the voice of reason as well as handles many of the true host duties like ushering the view back to the film. She is also the strong one as when things go bad she seems to be the one who steps up and saves the day. Bloody Betty was played by actress Bettina Mangiaracina ,who was known for her role of Kelly in the film Bullycam, has a handful of other acting parts in indie films and sometimes goes by the name Bettina Taylor. While we only got a small taste of what Bloody Betty had in store for viewers, it’s clear that she would have been a major part of this series if it had continued. So here is to you, Bloody Betty, for making Creepy Kitchen a better place.
So now that we know a little about Theodore’s Creepy Kitchen and the hosts of this very rare and mostly unseen Horror Host show, we should take a look at the one and only episode every made that has them hosting the cult classic slasher film Sleepaway Camp II. This episode was bought for me by my cousin Stephen on VHS from Ebay and when watching it I put it onto a DVD-R, so big thank you to Stephen and the Ebay seller for making this possible. I will not be giving this episode a star rating and the movie write up will be taken from our friends at IMDB and the host write up I myself will be writing. So if you’re ready, let’s enter the Creepy Kitchen and see what Theodore has cooking for us.
Creepy Kitchen: Sleepaway Camp II
Starring – Pamela Springsteen & Renee Estevez Rated R 1988
Host: Theodore and Bloody Betty are hanging out in a creepy basement that is set up for making food, and they do just that with their first dish made being Jason Voorhees burgers! Bloody Betty and Theodore both enjoy their burgers sprinkled with catnip and ketchup. But to their horror, Kitty Kruger shows up and scares them away from the kitchen. Later during a catnap, Theodore has a nightmare about Kitty Kruger and once up he decides that the second dish will be Kitty Kruger Sugar Cookies! Bloody Betty tells the story of Kitty Kruger who attacks animals in their sleep, but once he shows back up Bloody Betty springs into action and hacks him to death with a sword. In the end Theodore and Blood Betty wrap up the show and go off to bury the bones of Kitty Kruger.
Movie: Angela Baker has undergone years of therapy, electro-shock and sexual reassignment surgeries, and finally landed herself a job in the last place she should be working – camp rolling hills. She has an old fashioned approach as to how camp should be, and an old familiar deadly way of making sure that those who don’t follow her rules don’t get to come back next summer.
So as you can see, Theodore’s Creepy Kitchen is one strange Horror Host show that leaves the viewer wanting more than just this one episode. Who knows if Theodore ever will come out of retirement for one more show, and who knows what Bloody Betty is doing right now, but one things for sure, if you enjoy the strange and silly side of Horror Hosting check on Ebay and buy yourself a copy of this show. For our next update we are leaving the Creepy Kitchen and the world of Horror Hosting, and we are starting Kaiju Month up again this time to celebrate the very highly anticipated “Godzilla vs. Kong” and we will be covering the dinosaur run amok film Valley Of The Gwangi to kick it off. So until next time, read a Horror Comic or three, watch a Horror Movie or two and as always support your local Horror Host. See you next time for some cowboys rounding up some dinosaurs!
Rotten Ink 