Horror Host Icon: USA Up All Night

Growing up my favorite TV Station hands down was the USA Network as they had all the must-watch shows.  They aired Commander USA’s Groovie Movies, my all time favorite Horror Host, and they also had USA Saturday Nightmares, USA Kung-Fu Theater, Duckman, Werewolf, The Hitchhiker, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Silk Stalkings, WWF Monday Night Raw and USA Up All Night, with that latter being a must watch for not only the cheesy or sleazy movie but for Rhonda Shear who was and still is one of the most beautiful Horror Hostess to grace a TV screen! Rhonda was one of my major celebrity crushes, and I can even remember kids at school talking about her. Plus no one can say Up All Night like she can! Up All Night also introduced me to the comedy antics of Gilbert Gottfried, who became one of my favorite comedians and later would become the host of one of my favorite podcasts called “Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast” that’s about classic Hollywood. Plus I cannot forget Caroline Schlitt, who was the original co-host with Gilbert on the show.  She had her own style of hosting and is underrated and too often overlooked by fans when they speak of this classic show. USA Up All Night was a true staple of my childhood, and my brother and I would watch Friday and Saturday nights for the longest time. This show also introduced me to many horror movies as well as martial arts and sex comedies that I am still a fan of to this day. So it’s with great honor and glee that I bring to you readers Horror Host Icon: Gilbert Gottfried, Caroline Schlitt & Rhonda Shear! So if you’re ready, let’s hit the streets of New York and talk about one of the most iconic late night Horror Host shows in the whole USA.

USA Up All Night started airing on USA Network on January 7, 1989 and was a way for the station to air really bad B-movies, horror and sexploitation films to late night TV watchers in double features. The show aired on Friday nights at 11pm with host comedian Gilbert Gottfried and was set in New York. Midway through the first season, a Friday night version of the show was added and comedian Caroline Schlitt would host from Los Angeles, showing three films. In late 1990, hostess Schlitt left Up All Night, and she was quickly replaced with comedian and B-Movie actress Rhonda Shear who would take over the Friday night show as well as be the host for LA. The pair of Shear and Gottfried would even cross over from time to time for special episodes like New Year’s Eve, and the show would remain very popular for the USA Network and was must see late night TV for that generation’s monster kids. In 1994, the animated original show Duckman was also added into the show’s lineup of features, changing the pacing of the start of the show slightly. At one point the California show and host Rhonda Shear was moved to New York and both Friday and Saturday night shows moved timeslots from 11pm to 12am and back and fourth again. Sadly USA Up All Night was cancelled in 1998 after 10 seasons and over 900 episodes when new management to USA Network Barry Diller took over and canceled many programs as he wanted to make the station more upscale and felt like shows like this did not fit his boring and stale vision for the network. The cancelation of Up All Night marked the true end of the USA Network for me as Commander USA’s Groovie Movies ended in 1989 and USA Saturday Nightmares was no more in 1994….and now the station is a shell of what it was with most of the day devoted to terrible reruns of Law And Order. It’s crazy to me that USA Network did not do a 30^th Anniversary Up All Night Reunion show in 2019 and bring back all three classic hosts to host three films…a missed opportunity for sure…but I guess they could not spare the time as they really needed to play those crappy rerun episodes of Modern Family.

Growing up, Saturday nights were a great time to be a horror movie fan as USA Network was your hookup for a good night of frights.  You could start your night with USA Saturday Nightmares and watch a spooky movie as well as some thriller themed TV Shows and to end the night, you would join Gilbert Gottfried as he would keep you Up All Night with a dose of sleazy cinema. My brother and I would watch the show on both Friday and Saturday nights and I can remember us both being torn sometimes when TNT started MonsterVision with host Joe Bob Briggs on Friday nights at 11pm starting in 1996 as it was the same time Rhonda Shear was on! Now that really was a battle as both hosts are some of my all time favorites and both showed the films I enjoyed! I can also remember, as I stated before, kids at school talking about Up All Night and all the boys talking about Rhonda and how beautiful she was and many of us doing really bad impersonations of Gilbert Gottfried saying Up All Night to each other. It’s crazy that major broadcast TV has dropped the ball on bringing the kids of today a good classic Horror Host, and we all must really thank MeTV for having Svengoolie on to be that gateway for many young kids into the world of horror, sci-fi and thriller films. That’s also why I think Public Access and online stations like Eerie Late Night and The Vortexx are very important in keeping local and national Horror Hosts alive for viewers. It’s crazy as Rhonda Shear, Gilbert Gottfried and Caroline Schlitt will never know just how much they helped shape my creative life and my love for the art of Horror Hosting alongside names like Commander USA, Grampa Munster, Joe Bob Briggs, Dr. Creep, A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Elvira Mistress Of The Dark and The Creeper.  They meant something to me and seemed like crazy friends who went along for the ride as we watched a movie or two. While I doubt they will ever read this update, I still need to say thank you to them for keeping me Up All Night and introducing me to so many sleazy, cheesy and just plan weird movies!

Gilbert Gottfried is a comedian and was the first host hired for USA Up All Night when it was a Saturday night show. Gilbert Gottfried was born on February 28, 1955 in Brooklyn, New York and comedy was in his blood as he started his stand up career at the age of 15.  This helped the people dub him “The Comedian’s Comedian,” and in 1980 this helped him become a cast member on the 6^th season of Saturday Night Live and sadly the writers used him very rarely during his 12-episode stint. In 1983 he would become a character actor for the show “Thicke Of The Night” that only lasted one season and was over in 1984…but this helped him land a role in the film “The House Of God” as a paramedic and more roles in TV and movies would follow over the years with some of his most popular TV Shows being the cartoon “Aladdin”, “Duckman”, “Wings”, “Night Court” and “USA Up All Night” to name a few. His film roles include “Problem Child 1-3”, “Highway To Hell”, “Double Dragon” and his most popular “Aladdin” where he voiced Iago The Parrot! He also would be the voice of the Aflac duck mascot for commercials for the insurance company, but was let go when he made some bad taste jokes about the earthquake and tsunami that devastated Japan in 2011. He would also go on to do more stand up comedy, lend his voice to video games and cartoons, host his own podcast and even in 2019 starred as Fred Fuchs in an episode of The Angry Video Game Nerd. Gilbert is married to his wife Dara Kravitz who he met in the late 90’s and wed in 2007; the couple have two children. His comedy style is that of his own and he is well respected by his peers as they see that he is a trendsetter with his comedy. His hosting style for USA Up All Night is more of a crude humor mixed with some sarcasm making him very entertaining to watch. While I could go on and on about how great Gilbert is as a comedian and a Horror Host, I think that you should check out the 2017 documentary “Gilbert” that is about his life and career. One thing is for sure, Gilbert is a true Icon of Horror Hosting for this blogger.

Update: Sadly Gilbert Gottfried would pass away on April 12, 2022 at the age of 67 after battling a long illness. This is sad and heartbreaking news.

Comedian Caroline Schlitt was the California host and was a stand up comedian and actress who was the second host of USA Up All Night as she handled Friday night hosting duties. Caroline would remain on the show from 1989-1990 and was very entertaining and funny. Caroline Schlitt was hired for Up All Night after she had a run on another USA Network show called Camp Midnite that was a talk show/variety show that only lasted 26 episodes. Caroline Schlitt’s hosting style was more of basic comedy with a dash of mature themes that were not in your face. After her run on Up All Night, Caroline went on to be on such TV shows as “The Last Laugh”, “The Father Dowling Mysteries” and in 1991 “Matlock”, “On The Television” and later in the 90’s “Diagnosis Murder” that was Caroline’s last major acting role. She was born on September 4, 1963 and while she only lasted about a year as the host for Friday nights Up All Nights, she very much was entertaining and helped lock the series as must-see TV.

Model and B-Movie goddess Rhonda Shear would become the third host to join the show, and she quickly became the most popular host. Not only did viewers find her sexy, they also found her to be very funny and was fantastic at hosting as she had a very steamy and silly way of hosting. Rhonda was born on November 12, 1954 in New Orleans, Louisiana and had a normal childhood and graduated from Loyola University with a bachelor in arts and communications in 1977 and even won many beauty pageants as Miss Louisiana and later would moved to Hollywood to make it as a star. In 1979 she became a contestant on the TV show The Gong Show and even took work in some B-Movies like “J.D.’s Revenge” in 1976, “Galaxina” from 1980, the 1987 film “Spaceballs” and “Return To Frogtown” from 1993 to name a few. She also had lots of work on TV with roles on shows like “Happy Days”, “Dallas”, “CHiPs”, “Married With Children”, “Full House”, “Silk Stalkings”, “Duckman” and of course “USA Up All Night”! She also recorded a comedy CD called “Your Bedtime Buddy” that was released in 1996, and she even posed for Playboy Magazine twice. Rhonda in 2001 started Shear Enterprises and started her own intimates line of clothing for women of all sizes that is still going strong to this day with her most popular item being the Ahh Bra. Over the years she has also done many charity events as well as appearances at conventions as she is always happy to meet her fans. But there is so much more to Rhonda Shear than I have written here, and if you want to learn more about her make sure to read her autobiography called “Up All Night: From Hollywood Bombshell To Lingerie Mogul, Life Lessons From An Accidental Feminist” that was released in 2017.

The fourth unofficial and yet still very important “Host” for this series was the show’s logo that later in the series would bring us in and out of the movie for commercials. The logo would be joined by the show’s theme and jingles and was a great way for viewers to still remain Up All Night with the third movie of the evening. The Logo as we shall call this fourth host of the show was mostly used in the twilight years of the show and was used to replace both Gilbert and Rhonda when the official show came to an end. The Logo’s official end came in 2002 when USA Network dumped all things Up All Night form their late night lineup when they removed the logo and brand from all shown late night movies shown on the weekend.

On March 21, 2015 at Horrorhound Weekend the class of 2015 was inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame and many great names got the honor like Sir Cecil Creape, Superhost, Joel Robinson (MST3K), Baron Von Wolfstein and also both Rhonda Shear and Gilbert Gottfried! The great guys at Atomic Age Cinema got to induct Gilbert, and Sigmund Zoid got the honor of putting Rhonda in. Sadly that year Gilbert did not come to Horrorhound, and while Rhonda was slated, she was unable to attend at the last minute due to a prior engagement, and this was sad news as I very much was looking forward to meeting her. It’s amazing when you look at all the names that have been inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame as many of them were hosts that made my childhood awesome! On a side note I have heard that its possible that Caroline Schlitt might be on a future ballot for the Horror Host Hall Of Fame.

Did you readers know that in 1996 Rhonda Shear released her first and only stand up comedy CD called “Your Bedtime Buddy,” a nickname she gave herself on Up All Night! The CD is one track and has her whole routine on it that even includes a little chat about USA Up All Night. Her comedy has lots to do with shopping, and sex and she has the crowd laughing and leaves them entertained. I got the CD a few years back and listened to it many times in my car driving to and from work and found myself amused by her style of stand up comedy. Also inside the CD booklet fans of Rhonda are treated to some topless photos of her. Check out this CD if you are a fan of Rhonda Shear and like risqué silly stand up humor from the 90’s.

So let’s get to the part of this Horror Host Icon update where I share what episodes I have of the hosts as this is going to be a fun one! As always, I will not be giving these episodes a star rating and the film’s write up will be taken from our friends at IMDB, with me writing about the Host segments. I would like to thank Bryan Brassfield, Stumpy Discs, Dr. Pureblood, Trade Lists, the late great Andy Copp and Ebay for helping me get these episodes over the years. So if you are ready for some late night movie watching with Gilbert, Rhonda, Caroline and the Up All Night Logo….it’s time to stay UP….All Night. Oh and I will review these shows by Host with Gilbert being first, then Caroline, Rhonda and the Up All Night Logo, with the movies for each host appearing in alphabetical order.

USA Up All Night: Barbarian Queen
Starring – Lana Clarkson & Katt Shea     Rated R     1985

Host: Gilbert Gottfried ushers us in and out of the film over the show’s logo and title cards. No actual host segments.

Movie: Set during the days of the Roman Empire. A simple village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves.

Note From Matt: This episode is missing the opening segment.

USA Up All Night: Class Of Nuke’em High
Starring – Janelle Brady & Gil Brenton     Rated R    1986

Host: Gilbert opens the show on a balcony in The Limelight Club in New York and talks to us about the night’s first film, the Troma classic Class Of Nuke’em High, and all the while we are getting flashes of sideshow performers. He then takes us to the first part of the film. We join Gilbert who tells us before commercial that they have to show the film cause it was printed in TV Guide and it would be breaking the law if they didn’t. When we come back Gilbert makes jokes about the film and the acting and ushers us back in. We next see Gilbert who tells us coming up that the main actress will be wearing a blue bikini and dares us to change the channel. Next Gilbert reads a fan letter where the person tells him he is better than Rhonda, and then says things she does not like about his show…he is confused by this letter. Gilbert after a commercial break talks in an echo as he describes one of the gruesome things about to happen in the movie and shares that he has had that experience before taking us back to the film. The next few breaks has Gilbert still at Limelight making fun of the night’s film. Finally Gilbert ushers us to the end of the night’s first film.

Movie: When Warren and Chrissy notice some strange things happening around their high school, they begin to suspect that something is going on at the nuclear plant next door. Though the plant officials deny that there are any problems, Crissy gives birth to a bloodthirsty mutant who immediately begins eating everyone in the school. Will Warren and Chrissy be able to stop their killer kid?

Note From Matt: This is the first movie of the night with the second one being Class Of Nuke’em High Part 2. This also is missing Gilbert’s bumper after the film ends.

USA Up All Night: Dinosaur Valley Girls
Starring – William Marshall & Karen Black     Unrated     1996

Host: Gilbert is in his Bachelor Go-Go Pad along with two very lovely ladies who are go-go dancing and introduces this second film of the night to the viewers and take shots at how cheesy the film is as well as picks on actress Karen Black, who is in the film. As we keep coming back to Gilbert, the women keep dancing and Gilbert makes jokes about the ladies in the film. Gilbert is enjoying the ladies dancing as well as mocking the night’s film and once more goes for teasing Karen Black. In the end Gilbert thanks us for watching as the ladies just keep on dancing.

Movie: Haunted by recurring dreams of Hea-Thor a gorgeous cavegirl,and a menacing Allosaurus, action-movie star Tony Markham soon finds himself transported, by means of a magic Icon, back through time to Dinosaur Valley. Now trapped in a world of dangerous dinosaurs, grunting cavemen and a tribe of exotic, love-starved cavegirls, Tony must put his modern-days skills to extreme tests in order to survive prehistoric perils, win the cavegirl of his dreams and (maybe) return to his own time?

Note From Matt: This is the second film of the night with the other being “Jurassic Women” see its review in the “J” section of the films hosted by Gilbert.

USA Up All Night: Everything You Always..
Starring – Woody Allen & Gene Wilder     Rated R     1972

Host: Gilbert is playing pool at a club with Doctor Ruth, the famed sex therapist.  Gilbert asks questions at the start, but she just wants to play the game. Next the two make a bet on playing the game, and Gilbert says that she is a cheater and a fraud. The two shoot pool and chat about the film, sex, pool and crack jokes. Gilbert at one point goes off about his “friend” who is a weirdo…and it’s clear the friend is himself. After a few segments Doctor Ruth is away, and Gilbert at the pool table talks about the film and the segments. At the end of the movie Gilbert is taking a nap on the pool table as someone keeps knocking balls into the pocket. As the credits roll Gilbert yawns and gets more relaxed.

Movie: Seven segments related to one another only in that they all purport to be based on sections of the book by David Reuben. The segments range from “Do Aphrodisiacs Work?” in which a court jester gives an aphrodisiac to the Queen and is, in the end, beheaded to “What Happens During Ejaculation?” in which we watch “control central” during a successful seduction.

Note From Matt: This is the second film of the night, with the first being “Play It Again Sam” see that review a little down this list of Gilbert hosted films.

USA Up All Night: Evil Dead
Starring – Bruce Campbell & Ellen Sandweiss       Rated R       1981

Host: Gilbert is on the streets of New York giving out $5.00 to people who answer his questions. Gilbert closes the show giving out more $5.00 prizes and keeps yelling at people on the streets giving out prizes of money, t-shirts and posters. And next Gilbert does a voice over the show’s logo and theme and ushers in Evil Dead. The rest of the show has Gilberts voice ushering us back to the movie.

Movie: Five college students take time off to spend a peaceful vacation in a remote cabin. A book and audiotape is discovered, and its evil is found to be powerful once the incantations are read out loud. The friends find themselves helpless to stop the evil as it takes them one by one, with only one survivor left with the evil dead and desperately tries to fight to live until morning.

Note From Matt: This episode starts with the last part of the movie before it called “New York’s Finest” and this episode is missing the end credits of Evil Dead as well as Gilbert’s closing segment.

USA Up All Night: Flesh Eating Mothers
Starring – Robert Lee Oliver & Donatella Hecht       Rated R       1988

Host: This episode has the classic 90’s USA Up All Night logo and has Gilbert Gottfried talking over top it ushering us in and out of the film.

Movie: For some strange reason, never explained, a few of the local PTA-going mom’s suddenly turn on their offspring. For much of the film they walk around town, looking mutated and making unfunny wisecracks.

USA Up All Night: Fright Night Part II
Starring – William Ragsdale & Roddy McDowall     Rated R     1988

Host: We first join Gilbert as he has a roomful of paranormal investigators in his home who are looking for ghosts and spirits. We next join Gilbert while he is with the ghost hunters trying to talk to ghosts and the only message they are getting is that his apartment is saying “clean me” as it’s a mess! Next the host of the Paranormal show “Wild Speculation” welcomes us back and alerts us that there is a foul smell in the area and its shown that it’s a rotted mouse in a trap! We next see Gilbert at his apartment with Larry Lomax and his crew and Gilbert is getting mad at them and wants them to leave as they are harassing his flies that live on his windows. Gilbert ushers us next into the last part of Fright Night Part 2 as a paranormal cast member uses a heat lamp on him. Gilbert then closes the show in his shower by screaming help me as if he is stuck in another dimension!

Movie: Reluctantly, three troubled years after the blood-soaked events in Fright Night (1985), the now twenty-year-old survivor, Charley Brewster, comes to terms with the freakishly improbable incident that scarred his adolescence. Still struggling to convince himself after countless sessions of therapy that the undead creatures of the night were only figments of his imagination, Charley carefully stays away from his former vampire-slaying companion, Peter Vincent. However, when the cryptic and mysteriously alluring actress, Regine Dandrige, and her motley crew of oddballs arrive in town, suddenly, Charley’s past creeps up on him to haunt him. Is history repeating itself?

Note From Matt: This episode is missing the opening segment, and the tape starts to mess up by the middle of the tape and this is not the first time I got a tape off Ebay from a seller that has been messed up! So in other words when ordering a cool VHS Tape with a Horror Host show off it from Ebay make sure to beware as many terrible sellers with bad quality control and lying descriptions walk among the good sellers.

USA Up All Night: Hot Chili
Starring – Charles Schillaci & Flo Lawrence     Rated R     1985

Host: Gilbert is on top of a building in New York and is taking advantage of his new assistant who must do and get whatever he wants that includes a dominatrix, bagpipe player, a priest, keys to the USA Network office, transvestites, street musicians and even Rhonda Shear shows up! In the end Gilbert introduces the next film and this episode comes to an end.

Movie: A group of American teenage boys goes south of the border to work for the summer at a Mexican resort. There they encounter many wacky guests and have zany adventures involving a German dominatrix, a music teacher that gets hot when giving lessons, a buxom cook, and an uptight socialite that eventually thaws. More often than not they end up in bed with someone, but one of the teens is holding out for True Love.

Note From Matt: This episode is missing the opening segment and credits

USA Up All Night: Hot Times At Montclair High
Starring – Kim Valentine & Troy Donahue     Rated R     1989

Host: Gilbert starts off telling us about the night’s movie and compares it to a modern retelling of the Br’er Rabbit story and then tells us the actors who star in the film. We next join Gilbert as he gives a little preview of the boring next part of the movie as he says “More Talk And No Action”. Gilbert then takes a moment to read a viewers letter and then orders his assistant who is on the street to bring up a contortionist to the top of the building were Gilbert is. Next time we see Gilbert he once more makes fun of the film and what’s coming up in it! Gilbert ushers us into the last part of the movie and it’s clear he thinks this film is a real stinker. In the end Gilbert is yelling at his assistant again and ends the show making orders and watching as the young man is hit by a bus.

Movie: At Montclair High School, three different students bond with one another through a variety of comic, dramatic and episodic circumstances. Sean is a popular football jock who struggles to keep his grades up to stay on the school’s team. Sean’s girlfriend, Jenny, struggles with her outgoing friend Susan who hooks her up with a local rock band life of drugs and debauchery. Ziggy is a terminal nerd whom tries to find the right woman to be with despite his lack of social skills. Jason is a tough punk and resident bad boy who struggles to get by and takes out his aggression on others to get away from his abusive home life. Despite having nothing in common, Sean, Ziggy, and Jason’s lives take a turn during a stay in detention which leads to them trying to help one other in their own life problems and learn that all of them have a lot more in common with one another than they knew.

Note From Matt: This episode is the second film of the night as Gilbert alerts us that Hot Chili was the first film of the evening. Hot Splash was the third movie of the night.

USA Up All Night: Jurassic Women
Starring – Jan-Michael Vincent & Grace Del Rey     Not Rated     1996

Host: Gilbert is hanging out with some pretty go-go dancers and introduces the film and even takes a shot at the film’s star Jan-Michael Vincent, you see he says he is in his Go-Go Bachelor Pad for the night. And when we see him and the ladies again he once more takes a shot at Jan-Michael before we get back to the movie. Throughout this film Gilbert enjoys the lovely ladies dancing as well as takes shots at the film and many are still being directed at Jan-Michael Vincent.

Movie: A meteor shower causes a spaceship crash on a remote planet populated by beautiful and dangerous women as well as cavemen. All procreation has been forbidden as there is a war between man and woman. But when a woman and an astronaut falls in love, the spaceships jealous captain joins the cavemen and a fight ensues.

Note From Matt: This is the first film of the night with the other being “Dinosaur Valley Girls” see its review in the “D” section of the films hosted by Gilbert.

USA Up All Night: Murder 101
Starring – Pierce Brosnan & Dey Young    Rated PG-13    1991

Host: A young girl sits down at a microscope and on her slide is the floating head of Gilbert Gottfried who talks about the night’s movies and ushers us into Murder 101! We next get a quick look at Gilbert as he is standing in between a machine that is reading people and he once more brings us back to the movie.

Movie: Charles Lattimore, an author of a book about a famous murder trial, meets up with his ex-wife Laura, at her college, where he is due to give a series of lectures, on how to write a successful novel. When one of his students, asks to meet him later that night, to discuss the course, and is found murdered. Lattimore has no alibi, and he begins to suspect, that the subject of his book, has arranged the killing, to get back at him, for the evidence, Lattimore gave during the trial.

Note From Matt: This episode has many of the segments but they are cut up and edited by the original recorder, and others sadly have been cut fully. Sadly also the end segment is missing.

USA Up All Night: Play It Again Sam
Starring – Woody Allen & Diane Keaton     Rated PG     1972

Host: Gilbert is at a New York billiard club and is loaded and calling customers wrong names as he thinks some of them look like famous people. We join him next and he is doing test trick shots with pool balls lined up as he waits for his celebrity friends. We next join Gilbert who is getting tips from a pro pool player, and he is confused and she tries her best to help him. And finally he is playing pool with “Tony Roberts” who starred in the film. Gilbert also tries to do his best Humphrey Bogart while leaning on a pool table. Gilbert and his pool friend keep playing and it made clear that Gilbert is not good. He ends with just starting at the table filled with the pool balls and knows it’s impossible.

Movie: A mild mannered film critic is dumped by his wife and his ego is crushed. His hero persona is the tough guy played by Humphrey Bogart in many of his movies and the apparition of Bogart begins showing up to give him advice. With the encouragement of his two married friends, he actually tries dating again, with less than satisfactory results, until he relaxes.

Note From Matt: This is the first film or the night with the second one being “Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex* But Were Afraid To Ask”.

USA Up All Night: Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
Starring – George Clooney & John Astin   Rated PG     1988

Host: Gilbert is spray painting on a city wall and claims he is the best street artist. And then tells us about the nights movies and riffs on the Return Of the Killer Tomatoes. When we next join Gilbert he is still doing street art and riffs a little more on the film and how bad it is and how the makers only cared about profit. And Gilbert from here on is standing near walls with graffiti and painting on walls and just makes fun of the film, as it’s clear he is not a fan. He also takes shots at the then Friday night Up All Night host Caroline Schlitt in a playful sexual way! Gilbert has more fun painting and cracking jokes at the film expense.

Movie: Mad scientist Professor Gangreen is cooking up the second coming of the Great Tomato Uprising, in which music converted tomatoes into human form to war against mankind. Pizza delivery man Chad Finletter must save the world and beautiful tomato-girl Tara.

Note From Matt: Sadly the last part of the films credits as well as Gilbert’s final segment are missing for this one.

USA Up All Night: Sweet Sugar
Starring – Phyllis Davis & Ellaraino     Rated R     1972

Host: Gilbert Gottfried is having a celebrity auction in New York to sell off some of his junk that he has gotten as gifts over the years, and the bidders are all tourist who are tied up and being forced to be there! And he is very angry about how bad some of the gifts he gets are and wants the world to come together to stop bad gift giving! He starts selling off the junk at high crazy prices to people who are not even bidding, and of course also rifts on the movie while doing so. He even takes shots once more at Caroline Schlitt as he tries to sell her phone number and no one bids…even when he offers to pay them to take it. Gilbert is pushing hard to sell his junk and in the end builds up the next movie “Peggy Sue Gets Married”.

Movie: Prostitute Sugar is set up by a corrupt politician. She is convinced of the futility of appealing her case in the courts and signs on to a chain gang run by the notorious Dr. John who performs cruel medical experiments on the people who work for him.

Note From Matt: This episodes issue is that the audio is slightly off making every one seemed dubbed.

USA Up All Night: Toxic Avenger 1-3
Starring – Bruce Campbell & Ellen Sandweiss       Rated R       1981

Host: The show opens at Gilbert’s new New York night club that is called “Club Loveman” that is a tacky looking disco and just looks very cheap. Gilbert has a cheesy mustache and tells us that tonight’s films are the first and second film in the Toxic Avenger film series. We next join Gilbert who is behind a DJ table with a lovely woman who he is trying to teach how to be a DJ for his club, he then makes fun of the acting in the film. Every time we see Gilbert his club is empty minus some employees and all of them seem to be bored and really bad at their jobs minus the Janitor, he also has a few sports bar dudes standing around. Gilbert ends up reading a fan letter that praises movies like Howling III and then Gilbert gets mad as his female DJ who is really bad and yells at her as more men show up to the club and no females. The males request show tunes to be played and will dance with each other but not the pretty female DJ and Gilbert is getting sad that his club is not attracting women. Gilbert then finds out a mess up in the clubs phone book listing has made people think that it is a Gay Club, and he just rolls with it. As the second movie starts Gilbert is hit on by one of the guys who has crude request, and Gilbert sends him away and takes us back to the movie. Each time we join Gilbert he is at his club that is filled with more men and he takes a few moments to make fun of the film. Gilbert and his female DJ have the club cleared out and they are planning more events as they have made lots of money. The third film has the shows logo and shots of New York with just Gilbert’s voice bringing us in and out of the movie from time to time.

Movie: Toxic Avenger: Tromaville has a monstrous new hero. The Toxic Avenger is born when meek mop boy Melvin falls into a vat of toxic waste. Now evildoers will have a lot to lose. Toxic Avenger Part 2: The Toxic Avenger is tricked into traveling to Tokyo to search for his estranged father, leaving Tromaville open to complete domination by an evil corporation. Toxic Avenger Part 3: Toxie finds he has nothing to do as a superhero, as he has ridden his city of evil. He decides to go to work for a major corporation, which he discovers may be the evilest of all his adversaries.

USA Up All Night: The Vals
Starring – Jill Carroll & Chuck Connors     Rated R       1983

Host: Gilbert is hanging out in a New York clothing shop Appendix: A and is making fun of some of the styles and while in the shop he also takes a moment to read viewer letters as well as try on some of the shops fetish collars plus looks at some of the other naughty things the store stocks. Its clear Gilbert is having a blast in this store! At one point Gilbert decides to wear a female thong on his face and play fake doctor! Gilbert also puts on a blonde wig and acts like he is a valley girl! In the end he wraps up the show and so ends another episode of USA Up All Night.

Movie: Sam, Trish, Beth, and Annie are four Valley Girls bored with shopping and frat parties. They come across kind Mr. Stanton, who is running a home for orphaned boys. Mr. Stanton and his charges are in danger of being evicted from their home if they don’t come up with the rent money that is due, and one of the boys has taken to selling drugs for a couple of sleazy dealers. When Trish’s prized “TUBUL R” Mercedes convertible is lost in a bet in which their Beverly Hills rivals have cheated, mayhem ensues as the Vals, with the help of their frat boy boyfriends, save Mr. Stanton and his boys from being evicted, give the drug dealers their just desserts, and exact revenge on the Beverly Hills brats in a rematch.

Note From Matt: The opening segment is missing as The Vals was the second feature of the night.

USA Up All Night: Vampire On Bikini Beach
Starring – Jennifer Badham & Nancy Rogers     Not Rated       1988

Host: When we first join Gilbert he is in his apartment and it seems to have been robbed and he had a good showed planned that is now ruined. He spends time cracking jokes about being robbed and being annoyed by it as well as the night’s film.

Movie: Two teenagers find a book called “The Book of the Dead,” and soon they discover that a vampire cult, which needs the book to raise the dead so they can take over the world, is after them.

Note From Matt: This was the second film of the night so it’s missing the opening credits, film and sadly as well most of the closing segment.

USA Up All Night: Vixens Of Bandelero
Starring – Lisa Butaud & Nicole Dernenberger     Not Rated   1993

Host: Gilbert’s spends all his segments reading crazy fan letters that are of course over the top in nature, and he has snarky and funny responses to all of them!

Movie: Three sisters search for treasure to save their ranch.

Note From Matt: Sadly this episode is missing the opening credits and segment.

USA Up All Night: Waitress
Starring – Jim Harris & Carol Drake     Rated R    1981

Host: Gilbert Gottfried is in a triangle and is trying to find his inner peace…well and cause he meet a pair a cute new age girls and he wants to impress them! The first movie of the night is the Troma cheesy sexy classic film Waitress! Gilbert is trying his best to find his road to enter enlightenment and as well is making fun of the night’s movie. He also takes a moment to read a letter from a fan that he says is from Mother Theresa, and then a he also spends some times with crystals and tries to eat it. And while in his triangle he also is eating some cheap fast food cheeseburgers and pokes fun more at the film and even pokes fun at USA for cutting the film down for content. Gilbert while practicing breathing techniques ushers us into the end of the film. Gilbert also eats a dishrag to clean out his body…and it’s both nice and painful.

Movie: Three lovely waitresses contend with a drunken, slovenly chef and mutinous patrons.

USA Up All Night: Northern Kicks Southern Fist
Starring – John Liu & Alexander Rei Lo      Not Rated       1981

Host: Caroline Schlitt is celebrating a birthday with her crew at a table with a cake and decorations all around. She then tells us to enjoy the next movie of the night that is the martial arts film Northern Kicks Southern Fist. The rest of her segments are Caroline talking over images of her party table. In the end as the intro replays Caroline ends the show and tells the viewers to go to bed!

Movie: Rivals in public, allies in private: The now-legendary “Northern Kick” Shao Yi-Fei has been framed for the murder of “Southern Fist” Shen Yin-Wai’s younger brother. Once again joining forces, they uncover the mastermind behind the setup to prove Shao’s innocence.

USA Up All Night: Raiders Of The Living Dead
Starring – Scott Schwartz & Zita Johann     Rated PG-13      1986

Host: In this episode we get the voice of Caroline Schlitt over the logo, shots of the streets of LA and classic show jingle! And this is throughout the episode.

Movie: A newspaper reporter hears of strange goings-on on a remote island. He travels there and finds that a mad scientist lives there and he is creating zombies.

Note From Matt: This was the third film of the night!

USA Up All Night: School For Sex
Starring – Derek Aylward & Rose Alda     Not Rated     1969

Host: Caroline Schlitt and her mother are getting ready for a dinner party while watching the night’s films. And they wait for their guests to show up as Caroline chats about the film as well as some of the snacks they will be serving. During the show Caroline’s blind date David Hirsch who was the host of USA’s American Bandstand shows up for the dinner along with friends. The party is going well and the guests seem to even be happy about the night’s film and David is clearly trying to get Caroline drunk and worse Caroline’s mom keeps embarrassing her. But over all the dinner party is going well and David is clearly trying to get something out of Caroline as he keeps pouring her more and more wine. Caroline Schlitt ushers us to the next film after School Fro Sex ends that is Vampire Of Bikini Beach, we next join the dinner party who asks about the next film and her mom puts David on the spot asking if he can really step in the shoes of Dick Clark!….and because this is only the one episode we do now know how Caroline’s date ends with David.

Movie: British Sexploitation/Sex Comedy. Lord Wingate, aquitted after appearing in court for fraud, starts up a ‘finishing school’ to teach girls how to extract money from rich men, in return for a percentage of their gains. He enlists the help of the Duchess of Burwood (Alcoholic Aristocrat played by Rose Alba) as a teacher and Hector (Cockney Geezer played by Nosher Powell) as fitness instructor. A probation officer friend supplies the first batch of pupils fresh from Holloway prison via a clapped out old mini bus. Suspicious neighbours and police together with newspaper reports naming the prison girls now hobnobbing in high society results in a raid and new court appearance for Lord Wingate. The Judge sentences him but plots to start up his own ‘school for sex’.

Note From Matt: This episode is missing the opening show credits and host segment.

Up All Night: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Starring – Bee Gees & Peter Frampton     PG     1978

Host: Caroline Schlitt talks over the show’s logo as well as shots of the city and really cool is they show clips of her! She also tells the viewers that she went and seen this film in the theater when released and also during breaks gives facts and says funny things about the film.

Movie: A small-town band hits it big, but they must battle a nefarious plot in the music industry.

Note From Matt: This was the third film of the evening so it’s just Caroline’s voice over the shows logo.

USA Up All Night: Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes
Starring – David Miller & George Wilson    Rated PG     1978

Host: Rhonda Shear in her red dress is going to a Monster Truck Madness showdown, and after changing she heads out to watch the trucks. Rhonda next gets a monster truck to run over a box of tomatoes and even chats with some of the fans in the crowd. All the while Rhonda is hosting she is having to scream over the massive trucks engines and sounds. She also talks to the only female truck driver at the time and they take jabs at the night’s film. She then goes around and talks to more of the drivers of the Monster Trucks as well as the dirt bikers. In the end Rhonda ushers us to the second film and shows a toy Monster Truck that she has run over mini tomatoes.

Movie: A group of scientists band together to save the world from mutated killer tomatoes.

Note From Matt: This episode is a Fan Reproduction, and while these are cool to see they just do not feel like watching the show from broadcast.

USA Up All Night: Beach Balls
Starring – Phillip Paley & Heidi Helmer     Rated R     1988

Host: Rhonda Shear is at a very loud bar and introduces the nights second film Beach Balls, as a waitress clearly is checking her out in the background. We next join Rhonda who makes a joke about Tom and Roseanne Arnold at the beach and then Rhonda has a hidden camera in her cleavage to see if guys are looking or being gentlemen, and the first guy passes but still comes off creepy. The second guy passes but talks about taking her to Hawaii with some creepy sex puns. Rhonda is still at the bar and talks to her friend Michael who shows a pool trick that he is doing just for Rhonda and fails in his attempt to impress her. Rhonda admits that she has been cheating at pool all night and introduces the viewers to the man who was doing all the trick shots she has been taking credit for. Rhonda ends the show in the bar with a sexy pose and sends them to the third and final films of the night as the shows credits role and a Van Halen song plays.

Movie: Charlie Harrison dreams of being a rock star and, with the help of friends and a gang of local toughs, he arranges a concert in his house for a big time record producer, or at least that is what Charlie thought he was arranging.

USA Up All Night: Big Top Pee-Wee
Starring – Paul Reubens & Valeria Golino     Rated PG     1988

Host: Rhonda starts the show in her apartment saying she misses the comedy of Eddie Murphy and then plays a small about of his song “Party All The Time” and then talks about the next movie and then makes fun of Pee-Wee in movie theaters. We then get a bunch of bumpers of Rhonda dancing around for our segments with the USA Up All Night logo! We next join Rhonda who is still relaxing in her room and takes us to the last part of the film. In the end Rhonda ends the episode and wishes us all a good night.

Movie: Pee-wee Herman is now a small-town farmer with a fiancée, but when a traveling circus comes to town, he finds himself falling for the trapeze artist.

Note From Matt: This is sadly a fan reproduction and is missing the opening credits, the first movie, all the commercials and over all is just an average reproduction.

USA Up All Night: Cannibal Women
Starring – Shannon Tweed & Bill Maher     Rated PG-13     1989

Host: Rhonda Shear is in New Orleans and brings us to the second film of the night the cheesy cult classic Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle Of Death! Rhonda then goes to the voodoo museum and sees some strange and dark stuff. She also chats with Chicken Man, a voodoo priest about curses and the fact its Rhonda Shear Day in New Orleans! Rhonda then goes back to a club to listen to some blues music. In the end Rhonda thanks all the people of New Orleans and ends this episode of Up All Night…well at least the second movie.

Movie: The government hires a feminist at the local university to track down the Piranha Women living in the uncharted Avocado Jungle (westernmost outpost is San Bernardino) to convince them to move to a reservation condo in Malibu. She hires a guide at the edge of the jungle, a male chauvinist pig, and they have many arguments about men and women as they work their way in, and eventually confront the Piranha Women.

Note From Matt: This episode is the second movie shown for the night with the first being Reform School Girls that is also covered here on this epic Horror Host Icon Update.

USA Up All Night: Cemetery High
Starring – Debi Thibeault & Karen Nielsen   Rated R     1988

Host: Rhonda tries to give your tips on what wear to The Super Bowl and is hanging out with cheerleaders. And she is in fact at the Rose Bowl and is having a tailgate party thanks to beer company Coors. All the while Rhonda rips on the cheesy film she is hosting as the cheerleaders seem to be having a blast as they all bound over comedy, sports, men and a bad movie.

Movie: A group of High School girls with guns go on a killing spree. They are intent on ridding the world of scummy men.

Note From Matt: This sadly is a fan reproduction and is even missing the films opening credits and segment…disappointed for sure.

USA Up All Night: Cheerleaders Wild Weekend
Starring – Kristine DeBell & Jason Williams      Rated R       1979

Host: Rhonda Shear goes to LA hot spot Tatou and goes into the clothing boutique in the middle of the club and tries on some amazing clothes and speaks to the owner. While trying stuff on Rhonda is knocked out by Beverly Center who takes over hosting duties and shares tips on how to cheat stores to get cloths cheaper and gets caught changing prices. Beverly ends up going to the club proper as well and enjoys the singers on stage. And later joins them all on stage for a song were she is out of tune, and later takes the stage for a solo. And as well goes to the art gallery in Tatou and chats with some people and just hangs out.

Movie: A bus-load of cheerleaders is hijacked and held for a $2 million ransom. After several comic and arousing interactions, eventually the girls are forced by their captors to participate in a topless “beauty pageant” in which they must pose before their captor-“judges” in nothing but their underwear.

Note From Matt: The end host segment from Rhonda is missing which also means that the opening for the second film is also missing in action.

USA Up All Night: Class Of Nuke’em High
Starring – Janelle Brady & Gil Brenton     Rated R     1986

Host: Rhonda in this episode Rhonda is shopping for Valentines Day and wearing sexy outfits and dancing around. Rhonda next talks to a worker at the show Playmates about what was the best gift she has ever gotten on Valentines Day. Rhonda keeps pushing Valentines Day and how if you are with someone you should do something special for them on the day. Rhonda and Miller Beer pick’s the moment of the movie and gives a hint by coughing through her segment. Rhonda nexts looks at jewelry and tries to get viewers so send videos of themselves reenacting scenes from movies shown on Up All Night. Rhonda next reads some mail from fans one that has a fan wanting her to walk on his back and then talks to another business owner for a flower shop, and ends the show taking a tour of the flower shop.

Movie: When Warren and Chrissy notice some strange things happening around their high school, they begin to suspect that something is going on at the nuclear plant next door. Though the plant officials deny that there are any problems, Crissy gives birth to a bloodthirsty mutant who immediately begins eating everyone in the school. Will Warren and Chrissy be able to stop their killer kid?

Note From Matt: This episode is a fan reproduction and sadly at times the disc acts up and freezes. Not to even mention the segments are placed in wrong. And as always Rhonda looks super stunning in her outfit!

USA Up All Night: Dialing For Dingbats
Starring – John Caponera & Johnny Mask     Rated R     1989

Host: Rhonda hosts this film in voice only over the shows logo and shots of LA and the shows classic theme.

Movie: A lonely man finds love through a party line.

Note From Matt: This is the third film of the night and was during the Holiday season in 1992.

USA Up All Night: Dream A Little Evil
Starring – Tom Alexander & Michelle Gaudreau     Not Rated   1990

Host: We join Rhonda, as she is relaxing on a bed looking as lovely as ever and talks about a trivia challenge where the winner could win a very cool Up All Night ball cap. She then takes us to the first part of the film. Rhonda when we join her again pushes the contest some more and give the first question and from there Rhonda gives out the questions and pushes for the contest hard. Later in the show Rhonda is joined by Playboy Playmates and they chat about them being the first mother and daughters team up to be in the pages of the magazine and later the son also shows up and they all chat about modeling and Playboy, she also takes a few shots at the nights film and its cheesy acting.

Movie: An unsuccessful electronics technician builds a machine in the shared home of he and his brother he later shows his friend who creates wishes from from their subconscious into reality. Little do they know that they’ve summoned darkness to wreak havoc within the home by a demonic lustful witch of twisted imagination the technician must find a way to destroy.

Note From Matt: Sadly the end of the movie as well as Rhonda’s end segment for the episode is missing, as the end of the movie and such was tapped over for an episode of Bonanza.

USA Up All Night: The Fly II
Starring – Eric Stoltz & Daphne Zuniga     Rated R     1989

Host: Rhonda is dressed as a sexy vampire and is attempting to bite her first victim, and it’s not going well as she takes us to the first part of the film. We next join Rhonda as she has bitten her victim, but one of her fangs falls out and she needs a wet nap and breath spray and sends us back to the movie. Rhonda then bites her victim more and more, and tells him to get over it and goes back to the night’s film, and from their her and the victim share cheesy jokes and puns.

Movie: Seth Brundle was a renowned scientist whose warped experiments with teleportation transformed him into a man/fly hybrid called BrundleFly. A few months after the BrundleFly insect met its demise by his lover’s, Veronica, shotgun, she dies while giving birth to their son, Martin. Seth’s corrupt employer, Bartok, adopts Martin, only so Martin can solve the new problems that the still-functioning TelePods present and to use him as a science project because of the dormant insect genes. Martin is now fully grown, even though he is five, and the fly genes begin to awaken and make him just like dear, dead dad. With the help of his girlfriend, Beth, they go to wherever they can find a possible cure before Bartok finds them and brings them back, but not before Martin finishes his transformation into MartinFly, the deadliest of the BrundleFly species.

Note From Matt: This episode sadly has a bad hiss and pops to the audio throughout and is missing the last part of the film as well as Rhonda’s segments…sucks as I would have loved to see more of Rhonda as the vampire!

USA Up All Night: Friday The 13^th Part 7
Starring – Kane Hodder & Lar Park-Lincoln     Rated R     1988

Host: Rhonda Shear is at LA clothing store Dressing For Pleasure and shopping with her snooty friend Robear her artsy sleek friend who is her fashion coordinator and they seem to be having fun looking at the fetish cloths and are enjoying the styles. At one point he puts on a horned masks as charges Rhonda and as he tell him to stop he is confused as he says he thought this was her favorite. Rhonda soon finds out that they are there not for her fashion but for his fetishes! Rhonda also interviews the owner of the shop who plugs a fashion show she has coming up and Rhonda even takes a stroll through the erotic movies the store has in stock. In the end Rhonda asks Robear if she should buy the whip or the handcuffs!

Movie: After Jason Vorhees was chained to the Bottom of Camp Crystal Lake by Tommy Jarvis. A Young Telekinetic Girl known as Tina Shepherd accidentally killed her Father with her Powers at Crystal Lake. Years Later, Tina and Her Mother return to Camp Crystal Lake, Where Tina’s Doctor trys to manipulate her powers for his own evil plans. Tina then trys to ressurect Her Father but Accidentally Awakens Jason Instead. It’s now up to Tina to use her Powers to Stop Jason and Her Evil Doctor.

Note From Matt: This episode is missing the opening segment. Side note Friday The 13^th Part 8 is the second part of this episode.

USA Up All Night: Friday The 13^th Part 8
Starring – Kane Hodder & Jensen Daggett      Rated R     1989

Host: Rhonda and Robear are still at Dressing For Pleasure and are still trying on weird fetish items and Rhonda is getting more and more annoyed when he keeps clearly shopping for himself and his weird fetishes. With most of Rhonda’s segments being over items and pictures at the store for the remainder of the episode. At one point Rhonda and Robear are once more in the adult film room making fun of some of the titles. In the end Rhonda and Robear leave the store.

Movie: A whole high senior class is finally graduating. For that, they get into a luxury cruise called ”Lazarus”. At the beginning they are all having fun, including our main heroine ”Rennie” who has a serious problem with the water because of past traumatic events ” Almost got drowned when she was little”. When we get to see all the young teenagers our friend Jason who got on board the ship starts with his killing rampage until we get to see only the main characters of the movie.. After that, they decide to look for the killer and kill him… Unfortunately, Jason got them first… After only a few of them escaped and got off the ship reached N.Y where they now have a bigger problem. Jason managed to get there too! He’s cashing the survivors so he can kill them. Now the young teenager couple must escape or die in the dark waters of New York.

USA Up All Night: Fright Night
Starring – Chris Sarandon & Roddy McDowall     Rated R     1985

Host: In this second part (see Shocker for first) Rhonda is meeting the women that could be her Mother In-Law when she makes he choice between two men with the winner being her husband. First she meets Artie’s who is very mean and has no manners. We next join Rhonda on the dance floor and meets Tex’s mom who is pure country and even brings a banjo player for people to dance along to. We next see Rhonda dancing again and she has not made up her mind on who to marry yet and she is feeling pleasure from the mother in laws. Rhonda snaps and trashes both mothers as they she dislikes the way they view her. In the end Rhonda has to make the choice of husband and she asks her own Mom for advice and they decide to choose no one! Rhonda ends the show loving being single and enjoys all the gifts that was for her wedding.

Movie: For young Charley Brewster, nothing could be better than an old horror movie late at night. Two men move in next door, and for Charley with his horror movie experience, there can be no doubt that their strange behavior is explained by the fact that they are a vampire and his undead day guardian. The only one who can help him hunt them down is a washed-up actor, Peter Vincent, who hosts Charley’s favorite TV show, Fright Night. Vincent doesn’t really believe that vampires exist, but does it for the money.

Note From Matt: This is the second movie of the night with Shocker being the first I want to say see below for that one.

USA Up All Night: The Girl I Want
Starring – Linnea Quigley & Burt Ward     Not Rated       1990

Host: Rhonda has a pair of shoes that are not broke in and she calls Mr. Bruce who for $5.95 will break in any pair of shoes for you! And after running the shoes around he is able to break them in for her. She next decides to read a letter from a viewer about her missing father who is rumored to be a cook, and as always Rhonda has a comedic answer for them. Rhonda also just chills in her studio room and gives jokes about the night’s movie as well as just seems to be enjoying the night at “home”.

Movie: A brainy girl turns bimbo and a football star turns brainy in order to attract each other’s attention, only to discover that they liked each other the way they were in the first place.

Note From Matt: This episode is missing the opening credits as well as Rhonda’s first segment as well as the opening credits. This episode as well has no closing segment.

USA Up All Night: The Howling III
Starring – Barry Otto & Imogen Annesley      Rated PG-13     1987

Host: In this episode USA Network salutes Rhonda Shear as this is her final episode of being the Host of Up All Night and they show some quick clips of her with celebrities on the show over the years like Alan Thicke. They once more show a classic Rhonda Shear moment that has people acting like Sonny and Cher singing a song to each other that is taking shots at their relationship. Next is Rhonda in a Gilligan’s Island skit dressed as Ginger singing like Betty Boop! Next is Rhonda as Genie from I Dream Of Genie and turns her master into meatloaf! Then we have Rhonda doing a skit based on the Honeymooners as she threatens to smash Ralph over the head with a pan while he sleeps. Next they show a few quick clips and as a song about Rhonda plays they show a tombstone that’s simple says R.I.P. and then its white noise on the marker as the credits role.

Movie: A strange race of human-like marsupials appear suddenly in Australia, and a sociologist who studies these creatures falls in love with a female one. Is this a dangerous combination?

USA Up All Night: Jocks
Starring – Christopher Lee & Richard Roundtree     Rated R    1986

Host: Rhonda is getting ready as she is going to take us to the California landmark Roosevelt Hotel! And before she goes to the movie she also says at the next break they will pick a movie mogul that will be going on a date with her. Rhonda is now at the Hollywood Hotel and teases after the next commercial they will meet the winner of the date contest but he shows up early and really quick she introduces them to Daryl who looks like a deer in the headlights! Daryl when we come back tells Rhonda that he made a film pitch to Paramount Pictures that starred Gilbert Gottfried and this upsets her. Next she and Daryl are by poolside and she is given him tips on being important in Hollywood. The next time we join Rhonda she gives a history lesson on the Hotel as well as Hollywood nightlife. Rhonda is now with Kelly Green getting ready to have dinner at the hotel as Kelly is a historian of the hotel and she once more shares history of it, and from there Rhonda just has a blast at the hotel showing off all the glamour’s sights to see if you stay there. In the end Rhonda is locked out of her room and is stuck on the hotels roof until a security guard shows up and picks her up and takes her back inside.

Movie: The coach of a college tennis team is given an ultimatum: put together a winning team, or else.

Note From Matt: This is the first film of the night and the second would have been The Van. This one also does not have the end segment as the tape ends at the films end credits. Also Ebay Seller Lied and this was not a broadcast version and was a fan reproduction, man so many fan reproductions.

USA Up All Night: Lifeforce
Starring – Steve Railsback & Peter Firth     Rated R      1985

Host: Rhonda Shear starts this film standing in front of an American flag background and makes an TV show E.R. joke before taking us to the film. We then just have random Up All Night Bumpers played throughout the movie. The next time we join Rhonda she alerts us that the next part of the movie is the final part of the film. In the end Rhonda ends the show in front of her flag background and hopes we will join her again for the next weeks show.

Movie: The space shuttle Churchill is assigned to observe Halley’s Comet under the command of Colonel Tom Carlsen. They see a strange form attached to the comet and Carlsen goes with a team to investigate. They find three humanoid life forms in caskets and they bring them to the Churchill. However, Earth loses contact with the shuttle and the Space Research Center sends another spacecraft to search the Churchill. They find the crew dead and the shuttle burnt and one rescue pod missing. They bring the humanoids to Earth and soon Dr. Hans Fallada and his team discover that the Space Girl is a sort of vampire and drains the life force from people, transforming them into zombies. When the authorities find that Colonel Tom Carlsen has survived, they summon him to explain what happened in the Churchill. Carlsen tells an incredible story about the three aliens and he teams up with Colonel Colin Caine trying to save mankind from the evil vampires from space.

Note From Matt: This is the second movie of the night with the first being Night Shift and sadly this episode is a Fan Reproduction. And I should not just like the Night Shift Fan repro this one is not well done.

USA Up All Night: Lovers’ Lovers
Starring – Jennifer Barker & Jennifer Ciesar   Rated R    1994

Host: Rhonda is outside a hotel door at Caesars Palace with a man whose wife of six hours has locked him out and says the marriage was a sham, and worse, it’s Valentines Day and Rhonda seems bored. And now must sit around and hear the man speak about the love of his dog and all around her are weird people. You see Rhonda has had a fight with her boyfriend and that’s why she is in the lobby watching the nights movie with the others who have been kicked out of their rooms by their mates and she is kind of upset by it. Rhonda’s next plan is to try and patch up the two guys in the lobby’s dates so they will stop hanging out with her, and she has her work cut out for her as they are real goofy. But Rhonda succeeds in getting them all back together and now must try and do the same for herself and her boyfriend. And of course she patches things up with her boyfriend who shows up to the Hotel with flowers and all the couples stay up and watch the end of the film.

Movie: A man at a party discovers a woman on the floor eating from the fridge. After a brief sexual encounter the man thinks he will never see her again. That is until he finds her eating from the fridge at his house, which he shares with his girlfriend. Soon an affair develops. Meanwhile the audience learns that the girlfriend is having an affair with the fridge girl’s boyfriend. The plot follows the couples as they narrowly miss discovering what’s going on.

Note From Matt: This episode sadly is missing the opening skit and is the second film of the evening, and worse the end segment is also missing.

USA Up All Night: Lunch Box
Starring – Ava Cadell & Warren Farina     Rated R     1992

Host: Rhonda Shear starts off in her apartment and says she is going to take the viewers to Hollywood Hits a female boxing review, and while she gets ready she sends viewers to the movie! We next join Rhonda who is at the bar watching the girls box as the grease men watching the fight seems annoyed by her. They show some clips from matches and talk to promoter Hal Stone who just yells and screams and Rhonda says his loud mouth is kind of like Gilbert’s! Rhonda is still hanging around watching the fights and even talks to some of the fighting girls as well as some of the fans in the crowd. Rhonda then talks to the ref and asks him if he thinks she could be a fighter, and then spends more time around ringside and then makes up a story about boxing the champ who gave up when Rhonda told her about all the fights she has had with USA Network censors. And to end the episode Rhonda with one punch knocks out all the ladies and she ends up back at her apartment in a tight pink body suit and introduces the next movie.

Movie: High school graduates CC and Waldo get a job in a warehouse for the summer. On the first day on the job, CC’s lunchbox gets mixed up with a lunchbox full of cocaine. Hijinx and stupidity follow as the drug dealers try to get the lunchbox back.

Note From Matt: This episode sadly is another fan reproduction, while it’s great to see Rhonda in all her beautiful glory…it’s just not the same feeling with the unedited film.

USA Up All Night: Mankillers
Starring – Gail Fisher & Edy Williams     Rated R     1987

Host: Rhonda Shear is climbing a rope in her apartment and introduces the nights movies, but she might be stuck on the rope upside down! We next join Rhonda who is still stuck on the rope, but her trainer comes and saves her…he was part of Circus Of The Stars. She then shows some video of behind the scenes and interviews of the circus, for many of the segments. She then shows a clip of her doing the rope trick at the circus and even gives a sneak peek at her outfit, and then more chatting with celebrities from the circus. And of course in-between all this she also talks a little about the film Mankillers and they cheesy action of it. She even gets a visit in her apartment from a horn honking clown who Rhonda says reminds her of Gilbert! Rhonda ends the first film by relaxing in bed in a sexy leopard outfit with long black boots, and before the next movie gets a visit from a peanut seller straight from a circus.

Movie: A female CIA agent is assigned to train and lead an all-female squad to Colombia to stop a renegade agent who has hired himself out to a drug cartel.

Note From Matt: This episode sadly is another fan reproduction and it has the uncut versions of the movie making it not feel like an old school watch on the USA Network, but as always it’s nice seeing Rhonda Shear in all her beautiful glory.

USA Up All Night: Night Of The Comet
Starring – Robert Beltran & Kelli Maroney       Rated PG-13      1984

Host: Rhonda opens the show making some jokes about news headlines in 1993, and then sends us to the movie. Rhonda in her apartment set talks to the shows hairdressing who claims something is loose in Rhonda’s foot and starts “working” on it, and working on it through out the episode. All the while Rhonda is both enjoying and being creeped out by it, and is still telling jokes the whole time about the night’s first film and he rubs and makes her feet feel good.

Movie: It’s the first comet to buzz our planet Earth in 65 million years, and everyone seems to be celebrating its imminent arrival. Everyone except Regina Belmont, and her younger sister Samantha, two Valley Girls who care more about fashion trends than celestial phenomena. But upon daybreak, when the girls discover that they are the only residents of Los Angeles whom the comet hasn’t vaporized or turned into a zombie, they would do what all Valley Girls do – they go shopping. However, with the help of a friendly truck driver, the girls save Earth and escape from flesh-eating zombies and blood-seeking scientists in hot pursuit.

Note From Matt: This is the first movie of the night and is followed by Private Benjamin.

USA Up All Night: Night Shift
Starring – Michael Keaton & Henry Winkler     Rated R     1982

Host: Rhonda is standing in front of an American flag background and welcomes us to Up All Night and then introduces us to the night’s films as well as an episode of Duckman! We then go to the night’s first film. We then go to a short black and white film of Rhonda driving around town. And the rest of the segments as well has Rhonda in black and white short films and fake trailers. Rhonda ends with showing a clip for the next episode of ER and then takes is to the start of the second film Lifeforce by Tobe Hooper.

Movie: A nebbish of a morgue attendant gets shunted back to the night shift where he is shackled with an obnoxious neophyte partner who dreams of the “one great idea” for success. His life takes a bizarre turn when a prostitute neighbor complains about the loss of her pimp. His partner, upon hearing the situation, suggests that they fill that opening themselves using the morgue at night as their brothel. Against his better judgement, he gets talked into the idea, only to find that it’s more than his boss that has objections to this bit of entrepreneurship.

Note From Matt: This sadly is a fan reproduction of the episode and is missing the Duckman episode as well as commercials and second movie. The movie is a crisp widescreen version and makes it so that it does not feel like watching it during broadcast…disappointing indeed!

Up All Night: Nightmare Sisters/Rollerblade Warriors
Starring – Brinke Stevens & Kathleen Kinmont       Unrated/Rated R       1988/1989

Host: Rhonda is in a patriotic mood cause out troops are coming home from war while hanging out at her apartment set, she ushers us to the first film of the night. We next join Rhonda as she is looking through her closet to find something to wear as she wants to have a night out on the town, and when she changes her dresses she gets a phone call from Bev who is upset about the nights movies and just keeps Rhonda on the phone for awhile and once off the phone Rhonda has to change dresses again! Once dressed she looks for something to do in L.A. for the night and even checks the ads. Rhonda then gets a visit from her sister who judges her for they way she lives and dresses. With her sister gone Rhonda takes a moment to read a few fan letters. She then takes us to the second film of the night and is going crazy as she wants to go out for the evening and gets a visit from Noodles who has broken in to steal some of her dolls and panties, and she spends tome trying to help Noodles who is clearly an odd person and then kicks him out. Next an old cowboy shows up to hang out with Rhonda and talks about sheep before he leaves, and she is loosing her mind. Rhonda shares a home video that a fan sent in that had her acting like Rhonda and then she once again changes dresses, and the gets a visit from a NFL Football Player who played for the Kansas City Chiefs. Rhonda changes into a nightgown and decides that she is just going to stay in for the night and her phone rings again and it’s from her grandfather! And in the end she gets ready for bed as Bev calls the USA Network.

Movie: Nightmare Sisters: Melody, Marci, and Mickey are three geeky college girls who can’t get a date. One night, they invite some geeky college guys over and have a seance that results in the girls becoming possessed and turning into sex starved vamps. Will the geek hero guys be able to stop the horrible (?) possession? Rollerblade Warriors: In the future, a warrior nun on roller skates must rescue a seer, who is to be sacrificed by a band of mutants.

Note From Matt: This episode sadly is another fan reproduction and it has the uncut versions of the movie making it not feel like an old school watch on the USA Network, but as always it’s nice seeing Rhonda Shear in all he beautiful glory.

USA Up All Night: Porkys II
Starring – Dan Monahan & Wyatt Knight     Rated R     1983

Host: Rhonda is at her studio apartment and is surrounded by her artwork that she is giving away to lucky viewers! Rhonda then shows off each art piece and tells a little about them. Rhonda also shares a fact about oil that turns into a joke about Jerry Lee Lewis’s hair! She continues the rest of this episode to give away her art to lucky random selected winners.

Movie: When the students of Angel Beach High decide to stage “An Evening With Shakespeare,” their efforts are threatened by Miss Balbricker, who views the works of Shakespeare as obscene. She enlists the help of Reverend Bubba Flavel, a religious fanatic who brings along his flock of followers to pressure the school into shutting down the production. When they succeed with the help of corrupt city officials seeking re-election, the gang don’t get mad… they get even!

Note From Matt: This is missing the second film as well as the end segment.

USA Up All Night: Princess Warrior
Starring – Sharon Lee Jones & Dana Fredsti     Rated R     1989

Host: Rhonda is going Mayan Club, a very cool nightclub in California and she is taking us along with her. Before the club she interviews a Mayan dancer who are getting her in the mood for the club. Once at the club Rhonda she has a blast dancing and having a good time with club goers and showcasing some of the people at the club. Rhonda returns to the studio and decides she wants to learn a little about history…comedy history that is. She also talks a little about the film and in the end she gets a phone call from her sister and then talks about the next movie “Vals”.

Movie: Sisters from the planet Vulkaria teleport themselves to Earth to investigate and report back in order to prove to their mother, the planet’s ruler, that they are worth of becoming Queen.

Note From Matt: Sadly this episode is a fan reproduction so has the uncut film as well as no commercials.

USA Up All Night: Private Benjamin
Starring – Goldie Hawn & Eileen Brennan     Rated R      1980

Host: Rhonda at the start of the episode calls actor Albert Brooks and tries to get him to show up on the show and talk about acting, and he acts all weird on the phone and does not show up as Rhonda takes us to the movie. Rhonda just hangs around her apartment set and cracks some jokes, looks sexy and talks up the film. At one point Rhonda is sitting around with a baby chimpanzee that she claims is the producer’s new born baby! Rhonda ends the show relaxing thanking us for staying Up All Night!

Movie: When her husband dies on their wedding night, Judy decides to join the United States Army. She realizes that she has never been independent in her entire life. What looks like a bad decision at first, turns out not so bad at all. That is, until her superior officer makes sexual advances on her. She has been transferred to NATO headquarters in Europe and (re)meets the Frenchman Henri Tremont. Judy and Henri decide to marry, but will they?

Note From Matt: This is the second movie of the night with the first being “Night Of The Comet”.

USA Up All Night: Reform School Girls
Starring – Wendy O. Williams & Linda Carol      Rated R      1986

Host: Rhonda is walking around the streets of New Orleans talking to locals and enjoying the sights of the nightlife including jazz clubs like Jelly Rolls to try and score free drinks, as she has no money. She gets homecoming welcome and even dances on stage for a crowd as the people love her. Next she talks to Pete Fountain a famous Jazz Musician in his own bar.

Movie: Jenny is sent to a women’s reform school. It is run by evil warden Sutter and her henchwoman Edna. Jenny will stop at nothing to escape but she also has to deal with Charlie the bully.

Note From Matt: Sadly the start of this episode has some major tracking issues that causes the sound to be super speed up.

USA Up All Night: Return To Horror High
Starring – Maureen McCormick & George Clooney       Rated R       1987

Host: Start this episode with Rhonda Shear on the streets at night taking a break from an auction and she quickly ushers us to the night’s second film. The rest of the bumpers through out the episode are Rhonda’s voice over the shows logo.

Movie: A few years ago, a mysterious serial-killer caused panic on Crippen High School. The killer was never caught. A movie company, Cosmic Pictures, has decided to make a feature movie about these events – on location, at the now abandoned school. Since members of cast and crew disappear without a trace, it seems as if history is repeating itself.

Note From Matt: Sadly the end credits for the film and the last segment from Rhonda are missing.

USA Up All Night: Screwball Academy
Starring – Collen Camp & Kenneth Welsh     Rated R     1986

Host: Rhonda Shear is at the Rose Bowl and is in a trailer gearing up to have a tailgate party and also host two movies with the first being Screwball Academy! While Rhonda waits for her friends, she gives pointers on snacks you should have for football parties as well as shares her grilling skills and Coors Light shows up and brings some beer to her party and she has the truck driver join the party! And you find out that the driver is really Brick Bronsky, actor of Troma Movies like Class Of Nuke’Em High Part II & Part III to name a few. Later she is joined by Raiders Cheerleaders! While Brick hangs out, the ladies all gossip about football players and more.

Movie: Foxy filmmaker Liberty Jean and her movie company arrive at Wagatno Beach to film a torrid movie called “Say Cheese”, going against the wishes of the puritanical Church of the Divine Light, leading all hell to break loose. The church’s phony leader Bishop Wally plans to lead a holy war of the highly religious against the trashy film. That’s when a bumbling gang of thugs are hired to sabotage the production whenever they can. How will the film crew get out of this one?

Note From Matt: This is a fan reproduction episode and goes alongside Cemetery High as this is the first movie of the night.

USA Up All Night: Shocker
Starring – Mitch Pileggi & Peter Berg       Rated R      1989

Host: Rhonda is in the Bronx and has decided to finally get married and she has her pick of grooms with one being Tex who wants her to quite hosting and shopping and have a ton of kids with him! Rhonda is more exited for the wedding gifts and is not sure who she should marry and her two main options is Tex and Artie and neither are a good fit for her as they are both annoying people! And in the end she meets Artie’s mom who is mean and Rhonda ushers us to the second film of the night “Fright Night”.

Movie: A murderous TV repairman, Horace Pinker is killing people in a small town left, right and center. He eventually finds the home of Lt. Parker, who is investigating his crimes, and savagely murders Parker’s wife, son and daughter. His other son, Jonathan has a strange connection to Pinker through his dreams, and he directs his father to Pinker’s business, where a small group of officers enter. Pinker escapes in a horrific spree, killing four officers and then targeting Jonathan’s girlfriend, Alison. Another dream leads Jonathan and his dad to a residence where they catch Pinker in in the act of kidnapping. Pinker is arrested after a fight with Jonathan and sentenced to die in the electric chair. When executed, Pinker – who supposedly had given his soul to the devil in exchange for the power to come back as an energy source – takes over people’s bodies and continues committing murders, until Jonathan devises a plan to bring Pinker into the real world, and then cut off his power source.

Note From Matt: This episode is missing its opening segment as well as show credits.

USA Up All Night: Slammer Girls
Starring – Devon Jenkin & Samantha Fox     Rated R     1987

Host: Rhonda Shear welcomes us to Up All Night and is at Tatou, a famous Beverly Hills Night Club where she will help a drag troop get ready for a show. Rhonda next meets Gypsy the head Drag Queen and the pair goes back and fourth and they both help prepare each other to swap genders. She then talks to more of the Drag Queens about how she can become more man like for her performance at the club. Rhonda dressed as a man shows us Mojo Nixon weird short “Shut Up And Drive”. And hangs around the club as her friends perform. And after the first film she still dressed as a man introduces the nights next film Beach Girls.

Movie: A young girl is framed for a crime she didn’t commit and sent to the state penitentiary, which is run by a crooked warden and a corrupt staff. A reporter manages to get herself sent to the prison so she can expose the brutal conditions and prove the girl’s innocence.

USA Up All Night: Tender Loving Care
Starring – Rhonda Shear & Pamela Manning     Rated R     1994

Host: A parade is being thrown in New Orleans for Rhonda Shear and little does she know the event is in celebration of her leaving town as they find her to be annoying! Jeb Morris is doing the bulletins on her whereabouts at the parade as the late night hostess is on her way from LA to New York…and the Big Easy don’t want her in town a moment longer. They call the bulletins Up All News and they not only talk about what Rhonda is doing in the parade but also facts about her and why they find her annoying. During the parade the crowd also are throwing bead necklaces at Rhonda as she does her best to host and play it off.

Movie: Generous young women will do (almost) anything to save a public service from destruction by greedy town developers.

Note From Matt: Sadly this movie is missing the opening segment also this episode acts as when they moved Rhonda’s show from California to New York.

USA Up All Night: Toxic Avenger
Starring – Mitch Cohen & Pat Ryan     Rated R     1984

Host: We join Rhonda in her room as she tells us viewers that Toxic Avenger will be stopping by and she is also getting ready to visit The Shark Club. We next see Rhonda who says she feels bad for Melvin from the film and ushers us into a commercial break. Rhonda arrives at Shark Club in a sexy dress and talks to people at the club as well as dances and flirts. Rhonda is looking amazing as always and the guys at the club are clearly drooling over her. Rhonda cages dances as well as has a quick bite to eat at the club as well. Rhonda leaves the Shark Club and heads back home, and she as a visit from Toxic Avenger who ends up cleaning her apartment! Rhonda ends with dancing with a blow up shark.

Movie: Tromaville has a monstrous new hero. The Toxic Avenger is born when meek mop boy Melvin falls into a vat of toxic waste. Now evildoers will have a lot to lose.

Note From Matt: This is the first film of the night and is missing the opening credits as well as a small part of the opening segment. The second film is Toxic Avenger Part II and see its review below.

USA Up All Night: Toxic Avenger II
Starring – Ron Fazio & Phoebe Legere     Rated R     1989

Host: Rhonda starts the show dancing with a blow up shark and takes a budget and story writing shot at the second movie of the night Toxic Avenger II, she then kisses the shark and takes us to the movie. Rhonda next is wearing a shark nose and her room seems to be over flowing with blow up sharks. We then see very quick shots of Rhonda screaming at toy sharks as most of her segments had been cut by the person who originally taped this.

Movie: The Toxic Avenger is tricked into traveling to Tokyo to search for his estranged father, leaving Tromaville open to complete domination by an evil corporation.

Note From Matt: This second film of the night has some of the commercials cut out and it also seems like they might have cut out some of Rhonda’s segments. And then sadly after a little under an hour the recording stops making the episode not complete.

USA Up All Night: Vice Academy 4
Starring – Julia Parton & Elizabeth Kaitan     Rated R     1995

Host: Rhonda’s cameraman is passing a stone and has to film the episode from the floor so its Rhonda’s feet in heels opening the show. Next we join Rhonda’s bare feet that get cramps when she tries to call for help on the phone, and then she puts on bigger black heels and her injured cameraman likes that. Rhonda also says that she is working on breaking in her heels as her cameraman tries to pass the stone and he can be heard in pain. Rhonda also uses her feet on a banana that becomes a mess, picks her toes, talks about web toes, has her feet glued together, mocks her cameraman, waves at the viewers with them, has the cameraman tickle them and in the end Rhonda ends the show and the camera man passes the stone.

Movie: “To Protect and Serve” takes on a whole new meaning when the Vice Academy girls are on the case. Candy and her new partner Samantha are back in an all new wild adventure! The wicked nymphomaniac, Malathion, has broken out of prison again and is on the rampage. The vice girls must bust her before she can seduce the Commissioner and destroy his wedding plans. Malathion, with the help of her new boy-toy, wreaks havoc and sexual hi-jinks as only she knows how. Will Candy and Samantha be triumphant, or will Malathion succeed with her dastardly plot?

Note From Matt: Sadly this episode is another fan reproduction that has all the cussing and nudity intact. And that also means no commercials or USA Network bumpers are shown.

USA Up All Night: Virgin High
Starring – Burt Ward & Linnea Quigley     Rated R     1991

Host: Rhonda Shear is hanging out with her girlfriends from a miniature golf course in LA that also has arcades and more! And Rhonda and her friends first start playing miniature golf as Rhonda seems to be loving the nights film. During the golf game of her friends get her foot stuck in the hole as Rhonda decides that her injured friend get a point as the others disagree. As the episode goes on it’s clear the women do not know how to play as they are all cheating to try and win. All the while Rhonda gives tips and such on playing miniature golf and the ladies all seem to be having fun. At one point the ladies are using their golf clubs as baseball bats!

Movie: A girl gets in trouble with her parents for allegedly fooling around with her boyfriend, and they send her to a catholic girls’ high school. There she finds that one of the students is “in charge,” and makes demands on the other girls because she has unofficial connections with the faculty.

Note From Matt: This episode has some issues toward the end of the film as some issues from the master source that would freeze up and skip seconds of the film and some skits. And also has no closing segment.

Up All Night: Wild Malibu Weekend
Starring – Barbara Moore & Kathy Pasmore     Rated R     1995

Host: Rhonda is sitting alone waiting for her guests that have not shown up and is disappointed that Rodney Dangerfield has not even showed up. And as well they show some of Rhonda’s best of moments over the years as she continues to wait. In the end no one shows up and Rhonda seems fine with it as she wishes the viewers a good night.

Movie: National beauties compete in a TV game show.

USA Up All Night: Killer Clowns
Starring – Grant Cramer & Suzanne Snyder     Rated PG-13     1988

Host: This episode only features the 2000’s version of the Up All Night Logo and is used only sometimes in-between commercial breaks with a very generic jingle that holds none of the charm of the original.

Movie: When a small town is invaded by aliens from outer space who are capturing and killing the townspeople, no one takes them seriously. Why? The aliens all look like circus clowns, use weapons that look clown like, and all have painted on smiles. Only a few of the young people in the town realize the danger and of course no one believes them. Armed with an ice cream truck they try and rescue their friends.

Note From Matt: This episode is one of the very late in the series when both Rhonda and Gilbert had been let go and the “Up All Night” logo was generically used for their films that aired during weekend nights.

USA Up All Night: NOTLD
Starring – Duane Jones & Judith O’Dea     Not Rated     1968

Host: The segments are the shows logo as well as the shows iconic theme.

Movie: A ragtag group of Pennsylvanians barricade themselves in an old farmhouse to remain safe from a bloodthirsty, flesh-eating breed of monsters who are ravaging the East Coast of the United States.

Note From Matt: The sound on this episode is really rough by the end and crackles and hums. And I am not 100% sure but I think this was the third movie of the night after Rhonda hosted Shocker and Fright Night.

Up All Night: Nightmare On Elm St. 5
Starring – Robert Englund & Lisa Wilcox     Rated R     1989

Host: The segments are the shows logo as well as the shows iconic theme.

Movie: Alice, having survived the previous installment of the Nightmare series, finds the deadly dreams of Freddy Krueger starting once again. This time, the taunting murderer is striking through the sleeping mind of Alice’s unborn child. His intention is to be “born again” into the real world. The only one who can stop Freddy is his dead mother, but can Alice free her spirit in time to save her own son?

I truly miss USA Up All Night being on Friday and Saturday nights as the humor of Gilbert and Rhonda helped make bad weeks better! Plus I just miss seeing Rhonda on my TV Screen every week, but I must say she does a fun Facebook Live show so I am able to get my Rhonda fix and she still is a great Host! When I was a kid USA, TNT and TBS were the kings of cable Horror Hosts and now I would say Shudder has taken all their places in modern times as they have given Joe Bob Briggs and even Elvira The Mistress Of The Dark new shows. But truly I want to really say THANK YOU to Rhonda Shear, Gilbert Gottfried and Caroline Schlitt for keeping me Up All Night and introduced me to many cheesy, sleazy and creepy films over the years they graced out TV Series. For the next update I will be walking away from the world of Horror Hosting and into the world of Jack Kirby as we will be looking at his characters The Satan’s Six that was released and developed by Topps Comics back in the 90’s. So as you can see, it will be a perfect Thanksgiving Day update! So until next time, read a Horror Comic or three, watch a Horror Movie or two and as always support your local Horror Host. See you next update for Turkey Day and a Hellish good time.

The Softer Side of the Toxic Avenger

In the mid 80’s and throughout the 90’s big companies were buying up licenses to turn anything into toys, cartoons, video games and comics.  I mean there were Nintendo games based on Jaws, Conan The Barbarian, Friday the 13^th and A Nightmare on Elm Street and many more off the wall selections. So independent sleaze studio Troma thought hey why not us and made a cartoon series based on their R-rated drive-in/video hit film The Toxic Avenger to Fox, and not to anyone’s surprise it happened. For those readers who may not know what Troma is I will give you a quick rundown.  Troma is an independent film studio based in New Jersey, owned and run by Lloyd Kaufman & Michael Herz who specialize in making and buying low budget films to release in grindhouse theaters, drive-ins and the home video market (Beta,VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray).  They are know for sex, boobs, mutants, slime and gore and besides the Toxic Avenger movies, they are known for Class of Nukem High, Mothers Day and Terror Firmer. While Troma is still around, they are no longer the power houses they once were, but I still love them anyway. Fox, who only aired 5 out of the 13 episodes, thought that they had something special that could have been a runaway hit much like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they would soon be shown wrong.  The show would be canceled and shown for awhile on USA’ Networks Cartoon Express. While I would love to get into some funny stories about the films about The Toxic Avenger, I will save them for when I take a look at Marvel Comics’ short run of issues based on it.

The Toxic Crusaders first aired in 1991 for Fox and followed Toxie, his loud mouth mother and his bimbo girlfriend Yvonne as they team up with a band of freaks, such as No-Zone a big nosed, wheeled legged blue skinned one time pilot.  Junkyard is a mix of homeless man and stray dog.  Major Disaster is a planet man who controls plants, and Headbanger is a two headed person that has one half surfer dude the other mad scientist! Put them all together and you have The Toxic Crusaders who want to stop all the pollution caused by alien smog lover Dr. Killemoff and his band of evil mutants. The series ran for 5 episodes before FOX decided that it was a no go and pulled the plug on it, but it did show briefly on USA’s Cartoon Express. This was a cartoon that took a stand to try and teach kids to try and save the environment much like Captain Planet and Swamp Thing, but did so in more of a silly goofy nature. I remember being pretty hyped to watch the cartoon, and was super let down by it and found it to be mediocre at best.  While the animation was cheap looking, it was more of the lame story lines that made me stop watching after the 3^rd episode in. I later watched episodes on USA and still found it just so-so. The show had a total of 13 episodes, and while not all of them aired on TV, you can find the whole series on DVD thanks to the fine folks at Troma who put it in their Toxic Avenger Box Set. The show has built up a small cult following, and while I still find it cheesy bad, it’s that charm that makes me still remember it and its theme song to this day. Oh did you notice they call him Toxie and not Toxic Avenger?  I guess they wanted to make him more kid friendly.

Playmates was a huge toy company at the time, and they were doing figures for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Barnyard Commandos, Dick Tracy, Darkwing Duck and many more.  They ended up getting the rights to make action figures based on this short lived series. The figures were in scale with the Ninja Turtles, and I am sure that many kids had that amazing toy cross over, and came with many weapons most of which glowed in the dark. Not to mention the figures also had a vehicle line that made many off the wall rides for the Crusaders and baddies. The toy line came and went and not much hype was put into them. I do remember the TV commercials for the toys, and I did know a few friends who had the figures at school. When I was younger I only had 2 of them and that was Dr. Killemoff and his skeleton mutant henchman Bonehead, both of which I got new at Big Bear. It’s crazy looking back that I passed on Toxie to get the bad guys that while cool figures were not nearly as cool as Toxie’s. I do remember having Killemoff & Bonehead team with the Shredder & Krang to try and stop the Ninja Turtles, and later Dick Tracy and Itchy were added into that “story line”. Over all the line was short lived, but they were pretty neat figures.

Not only were toys made based on the cartoon but so were video games for Nintendo, GameBoy and Sega Genesis. The game on all formats was a side scrolling beat’em up that would have Toxie fighting from level to level to get to Killemoff. In my youth the only one I played was the Sega Genesis version, and that’s because me and my brother rented it from a small video store called K & L Video. The game was entertaining and a little annoying in game play.  I remember staying up late trying to beat it but never did, and we had to return it in the rented time frame. K & L was my favorite video store in the area and stocked way better stuff then Blockbuster Video.  The horror section was amazing, and he carried games for the older systems. Kenny was the owner, and he was a super cool guy, always giving pep talks and posters & selling horror VHS to me. But sadly Kenny (who’s real name was Michael Wayne Brown) made a mistake in his youth and killed a man during a botched robbery.  After being captured, he escaped and went on the run finally settling here in Ohio.  Changing his name, he opened a video rental store and became the champion of good deeds to the teens in the area. I think Kenny saw some of us who might have been on a bad path and wanted to make a difference and steer us away from mistakes he made in his past. Kenny ended up turning himself in after his story aired on Unsolved Mysteries, and an employee knew his secret.  Kenny did make a mistake in life, but he should be used as a speaker to troubled youth.  He could make a difference in someone’s life.

Not only were toys, video games and comic books made based on this short lived cartoon but there were also coloring books, trading cards, Colorforms, Halloween masks, T-shirts and puzzles.This showed you everyone thought that this cartoon series was going to be a huge hit with kids, and the money making machine was in full effect. In fact New Line Cinema bought the rights to turn the cartoon into a movie, but when the series bombed, the plug was pulled. Troma sued New Line and won for not coming through on their side of the agreement. I used to have a Toxie Halloween mask but due to age the cheap mask degraded and is now a mangled mess.

 

So in short Toxic Crusaders was a cheesy fun cartoon that in all terms bombed but sparked a ton of merchandise all that was made to cash in the the super popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It played very shortly on Fox and switched to USA. In 1992 Marvel Comics made a 8 issue series based on the cartoon that never had a full time writing staff, but will this series be good? Remember I rate the issues on the 1-4 scale and base it on art, story, how close it stays to the source material and over all entertainment value. So let’s get Toxic!

Toxic Crusaders # 1  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #1 of 8

“The Making of Toxie”. Dr. Killemoff is an evil man with four arms and purple skin who loves smog and toxic waste and has decided to dump a very toxic batch in Tromaville, New Jersey where an accident causes Melvin Junko to fall into the batch and turn into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength known as Toxie! Our hero makes his home in the city’s junkyard and comes to the aid of a nearly blind dim whit blonde babe named Yvonne and causes bully Bonehead to turn into a skeleton mutant himself and is joined by Killemoff, Pyscho (his righthand man) and the radiation rangers who all jump Toxie. But a bus full of fellow good mutants show up to help lead by Major Disaster (who controls planets).  The team consists of No-Zone (with power of Sneeze), Head Banger (two headed) and Junkyard (a dog man).  They save Toxie, run off the bad guys and become The Toxic Crusaders!

This first issue is a fun read but does have lots of flaws in the very rushed story. The coming together of the team is done so half heartedly that the impact of them being a positive team is lost, and worst is the comic seems to be in on the fact it’s lackluster and even takes pot shots at itself! The build up of a feud between Killemoff and Toxie is for the most part vacant and not fleshed out, leaving it to be a very loose rivalry.  I mean I get the fact Toxie loves the environment and Killemoff who is a giant roach wants the world to be poisoned with foul air, but I am pretty sure that would make anyone hate Killemoff and want to stop him. Plus they way over used the phrase “hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength” to the point of being annoying. The good things about the issue are that they did a good job of putting the cheesy cartoon into a comic book and do a good job of showing Toxie’s birth and keeping it close of the R-Rated film he comes from.  The comic also has some good and shocking action as Toxie even knocks a punk’s eyeball out…now that’s hardcore! The art is also well done and has a nice cartoonish look. The cover art on this one is not very well done and is for the most part generic. Over all this is an average action comic based on a cartoon and was worth the read.  Let’s see if the same could be said for issue 2.

Toxic Crusaders # 2   **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #2 of 8

“The Big Broadcast of 1992”. Island City is the smog-infested home of Killemoff who has come up with a ray that will spread pollution throughout the world and interrupts a TV show to go about his plan and to challenge the Toxic Crusaders to try and stop him. Toxie and team enter the sewers and walk to Island City to find a horde of Radiation Rangers and Tromaville’s own fat Mayer Grody along side them.  Toxie and team defeat them and head to the tower of Killemoff, but they are met by Bonehead, Psycho and a horde of troops.  Only Toxie has time to get to the top as the team holds off the bad guys.  Toxie tries to talk Killemoff from using the ray but fails and the ray is used! Toxie and the Crusaders return to Tromaville to find it the same and not polluted because the ray was a dud!

This issue is again average all the way around, but this time the plot is a little more fleshed out and there are many more fighting panels that make it chug along. The issue, like the previous, seems to make jokes about itself, making you wonder just how miserable the writers must have been working on this comic series. The plot is very typical and has Toxie and Friends going to the bad guy’s hideout to stop him from causing harm to the whole world.  Wwhile that premise has been done many times, it’s still a good generic plot that you feel okay reading again. The rest of the Crusaders also get a little more panel time and are turned into likable side characters that are good for one liners and fighting. The fact that Toxie failed to stop Killemoff also makes our hero seem incompetent and a dummy, and those aren’t not good traits for a superhero to have. The art in this issue is for the most part the same as the last issue but this one does make parodies of many other media such as Wheel of Fortune, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Jack and the Beanstock among many others. While again capturing the cheesy nature of the cartoon, this just seem to be missing something. The cover on this one is also very so-so, and making this issue over all just average all the way around.  This is not a good start for this series so let’s hope 3 breaks the average mold. 

Toxic Crusaders # 3  ***
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #3 of 8

“Night of the Living Dessert”. Killemoff is at it again, but his money man from his home planet is mad about all the money that is being wasted to fight the Toxic Crusaders and to gain Tromaville.  So a plan is hatched to poison a batch of custard to get at the men of Tromaville. Bonehead screws it up and instead delivers the wrong batch of goo, and the company makes a Custard Man Monster who just wants someone to eat him! But once it attacks Yvonne, Toxie and The Crusaders must track down the slimy dessert monster before it chokes and kills someone.  The Crusaders attack the creature but only seem to make it mad when they won’t eat it alive.  So it grows and is about to destroy Tromaville.  Killemoff has an idea that if the Crusaders eat the custard man it will live in their bloodstreams and he will be able to control them.  This backfires on him.  As they eat the monster he comes to brag, only to get a toxic team burp that knocks him from his car and landing hard on the ground and then having the car fall and crush him.  Toxie and friends win this round and head home to the junkyard for a well deserved nap.

This 3^rd issue is a fun ride that reminds me of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle issue from Archie Comics! The plot has the team having to fight and eat a monster man made of mutated custard, in order to free it and pay back Killemoff with a wicked team burp. This issue has lots of humor that works and does not make fun of itself or the reader. Killemoff and his men are used not only as villains but also as stooges who get beat up and things dropped on them. Toxie also comes off very heroic as does the whole team. One of the better things about all the issues so far is while it’s a dumb cheesy series it really does have good messages hidden under its childish nature. The Mutant Custard Man is a great character that while hurting people just really wants some one to eat and enjoy him; you see he really just wants to be liked. The art work is good and cartoonish.  The cover while silly still is well done, and the plot is fun making this the best issue this far in the series. Let’s see if issue 4 can keep this on the right path and make for another good issue. 

Toxic Crusaders # 4  *1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #4 of 8

“Gnaws” Dr. Killemoff has set bombs in the sewers of Tromaville to explode and cause the city’s toilets to shoot out waste filling the streets, but his plan is stopped by Toxie and crew who go down to get rid of the bombs but before they can they must face a very pissed off giant rat. In the end Toxie’s mop saves the day. Story 2 is “Porcelain Paranoid” Killemoff is at it again as he pumps deadly water into Tromaville, killing many people with its acid like powers, but Toxie saves the day as he uses No-Zone’s massive sneeze to push the bad water back to Island City. Story 3 is “From Seat to Shinning Seat” has Toxie trying to clean a very messy bathroom for a factory and instead meets an undead plumber who fights what he thinks is a giant turd monster!

This issue is 3 short stories all having to deal with pipes, poop, muck and toilets, and none of them are any good! They all feel very rushed and for the most part each have very similar endings making them all seem almost interchangeable. Out of the 3 stories the best is “From Seat to Shinning Seat” just for the fact it’s the only one that don’t cram so many characters into one lackluster story. I am not sure why they chose to do this issue with different stories, artist and writers but it made for one poor read. Toxie’s attitude and speech changes in almost each story, and while in the cartoon the mop never was alive but now all of a sudden 4 issues in the mop is alive and the brains of the team. The art in the first story is piss poor and is very sloppily done.  The rest of the art for the other stories is what came before. The cover is one of the only nice things I can say about this issue.  So to sum it up this is this far the worst issue in the run.  I hope issue five brings the series out of the toilet!

Toxic Crusaders # 5  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #5 of 8

“Delivery System” Toxie’s body warns him of danger, and he and the Crusaders rush off to save the day, but as Toxie keeps running the Crusaders stop the ice cream headed Double-Dip gang.  Toxie runs out of town and finally collapses from exhaustion and it’s shown that Psycho and Bonehead has figured a way out to make his blood boil and they want to use this to make Toxie a walking bomb.  Toxie’s Mom has reconnected with her old high school love, and he is the key to set off the bomb that is now Toxie.  In the end he has a change of heart and before Toxie explodes Major Disaster uses No-Zone to destroy the detonator.  Once more The Toxic Crusaders save the day and are treated to Liver and Onions in BBQ Sauce.

The series picks back up to average with this issue, and I am fine with that.  This time around Killemoff takes a backseat as the main bad guy, and Psycho and Bonehead take the role and come up with a good plot to kill the Crusaders by making Toxie a bomb. They also flesh out Mom’s role in the series and show her back history that is done like a twisted version of an Archie comic. The issue has comedy, drama and action and makes it a fun read, and I think its funny how at the start they beat up a gang of thugs who have heads like ice cream scoops. They also go back to the mop not being alive and a character, and again I am totally cool with that. The thing is I am not sure if this issue is as good as it seems or of it’s just that the last issue was so bad that it made this issue seem better. Plus the cover claims that it has the “Grossest” kiss in comic history, and it’s just Toxie’s Mom kissing her old man lover…yeah…not worth the build up. The art work is standard for the series, and the cover is pretty damn eye catching. Over all I found myself enjoying this issue, and while not the best in the series thus far, it was a solid average outing.  So let’s see if issue 6 is any good.

Toxic Crusaders # 6  ***
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #6 of 8

The Toxic Crusaders are yesterday’s news and have lost all the female groupies to Corporal Globe and The Globiteers who have came into Tromaville and beaten all of Killemoff’s new plans. Corporal Globe is a environmental super powered being who wants nothing more than to save Mother Earth from pollution and the ladies love him for it. Toxie and team are thinking about packing up and leaving to see if another city would need their help when Psycho comes up with walking time bombs that when exploded releases Jock Sweat all over town! And when one explodes Corporal is down for the count, and its up to The Toxic Crusaders to save the day, and when they do the town and ladies are back on their side.  The Globiteers disband and leave Corporal all alone.

This issue is really fun and is one big parody of Captain Planet and his sappy messages about keeping Mother Earth clean. Corporal Globe comes off as an ego driven hero who who believes in his message but also seems to be doing it for the fame. In the issue Toxie seems to take a more side character approach until he is needed to save the day. There is also a ton of random cameos from such people as Ted Turner and Rowan Atkinson all of whom just seem to pop up in Tromaville. This issue was also to mark the end of the series.  In the back of the issue states that the current series has ended with this issue but a new # 1 is coming soon….wonder what happened as two more issues followed this one! The art is hit and miss in this one as some times it seems sloppy and rushed, but the story line seems more thought out than issues of the past and makes this next to issue 3 the best in the series so far. The cover on this one also is pretty rocking, and while this goes away from the source material I still think the premise works and makes the characters more fun and while making fun of themselves it’s not rammed down your throat like in the first couple of issues. This is a very good issue and makes me wonder what the next issue holds.  So with that, let’s not wait and get into issue # 7!

Toxic Crusaders # 7  **1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #7 of 8

“Girl Power” Yvonne is sick and tired of being treated like a slave while at the dump hideout house of the Toxic Crusaders who make her cook, clean, bend over to stare and get comics for them.  So she does what any smart woman would do, she leaves. She gets it in her head that she will go to Island City and defeat Killemoff once and for all, but what she finds is that Psycho has created a time machine and has gone back in time and got a giant man made of Asbestos who is on his way to Tromaville to posion and kill the citizens. Yvonne with the help of Toxie’s mom warns the team of its coming in a round about way and feeds them a plan that Toxie can take credit for.  The plan works, the Asbestos Man is defeated and Yvonne and Toxie are happy once more.

This issue’s cover lies! When first picking this issue up one would think that The Crusaders were on the popular USA Cartoon Express, but sadly this just doesn’t happen and we only get the Cartoon Express in a very tiny cameo. In fact this issue again has some cameos with the best being The Bride of Frankenstein who Psycho uses the Time Machine on to bring to the present to go on a date with. The plot is good and gives Yvonne time to shine making the issue more about her then the Crusaders.  This is a good thing and adds some spice to the series. It is odd that they all treat Yvonne like a useless slave, and Major Disaster comes off as a sleaze as he clearly keeps checking out her boobs and ass and making comments about them! And why is Toxie okay with his team mate asking his girlfriend to bend over in front of him so he can see her butt?! The art in this one is fun cartoonish again, and this is the style I like for this series. To sum it up great plot, Yvonne rocks, lying cover, good art and some fun cameos make this one a fun time. Let’s see how the final issue goes and will it make this series go out with a bang. 

Toxic Crusaders # 8  *1/2
Released in 1992   Cover Price $1.25   Marvel Comics   #8 of 8

“Toxzilla” Killemoff has kidnapped a tourist and turned him into a 500ft toxic giant who is sent to Tromaville to crush, eat and destroy everything in sight. So Toxie and the Crusaders head into town to do battle and are eaten by the monster! And once inside they must dodge tapeworms and Radiation Rangers to stop Toxzilla’s brain.  Once they do so Toxie and crew save the day again! “Beau No3e” Nozone is feeling lonely and Killemoff has made a woman out of sludge to blow up The Toxic Crusader’s hideout but the sledge woman starts to feel for Nozone and turns on her makers!

This issue is a complete mess and is back to having multiple stories, and none of them worth much more then a once read. Toxie & crew in the first story “Toxzilla” fight a fat bloated disgusting giant.  Oh wait, they barely fight him and spend most the issue inside his body and cram as much gross stuff in it as possible. The second story “Beau No3e” is a complete waste of time and adds nothing to The Toxic Crusaders story arc we have been dis-treated to in the past 7 issues. The message of save the environment is missing and instead random gross stuff is thrown into its place. The art in both stories is terrible and seems very rushed, given that this was the intended last issue in the series, it’s clear as day that no one working on the comic gave a rat’s ass about the story, art and presentation. This issue just stinks all the way around and has more crap moments then good making this the winner of worst issue in the series.

The Toxic Crusaders was a failed attempt to capture the popularity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in both cartoon and comic forums. The biggest issue with the comic is lack of care that was given to the property,  The characters’ moods and style change several times as do the artist and writers making the 8 issue Marvel series  come off as a clustered mess with no direction. Plus it’s clear that Marvel wanted to do very little with the series once the cartoon and toy line was canceled and only stayed with it due to contract with Troma. I mean the series was slated for “last” issue a number of times during its short run! In fact issue 8 that was the planned last issue for the series states that a 4 issue mini series was in the works, and as you can see that never happened. Plus let’s be blunt: taking a character like Toxic Avenger who is a R-Rated hero, who in the films rips off arms and beats people with them or makes their face into a milk shake and the changing his name to Toxie and making him a lovable nature loving knuckle head is just not a recipe for success. But on the other hand, I give both Troma and Marvel credit for trying something new and making a extreme step into trying to make a kid show hit. Over all The Toxic Crusaders run at Marvel was a mediocre at best effort that produced more so-so issue then solid good ones. I was never sold on the cartoon and am not sold on the comics! I want to thank Game Swap Kettering and Lone Star Comics for having the issue for me to get for this review. Next update we are going to do something a little different instead of a look back and a review of Star Comics, we are going to be doing an interview with local Dayton, Ohio comic artist and maker Jason Young who has made the hit indie book Veggie Dog Saturn! So see ya next update.