Horror Host Icon: Baron Von Porkchop

Dayton, Ohio really does have its fair share of Horror Host history, with many of them being household names and each meaning something to their viewers. Names like Dr. Creep, The Creeper and A. Ghastlee Ghoul have graced the TV Screens of many late night viewers and each have inspired and entertained generations of Monster Kids and each of them helped shape my creative mind in their own ways. And in 2010 the Dayton market was pretty dry when it came to Horror Hosts as Iris & Retina of Mondo Smash A’Go-Go had slowed down and reruns of New Shock Theater and The Ghastlee Movie Show were hard to find on the access stations DATV and MVCC, and then that void was filled when Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales of the Macabre hit DATV like a frightening freight train! And still to this day Baron Von Porkchop is the cities current King of late night viewing and a fan favorite to many. This Horror Host Icon update will be one that will not only talk about Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre, but will also give a little behind the scenes and facts that many do not know. So it’s with great honor and pride that I bring to you readers Horror Host Icon: Baron Von Porkchop. So let’s travel to Porkchop Manor and see what BVP has in store for us.

Baron Von Porkchop is a ghoul who originally died in the 1800’s after a wagon accident that also left his wife The Baroness dead! The couple was buried in two different locations when their enemy Count Van Lambchop paid for their burials as a fake act of kindness to impress the townspeople of New Burlington. Decades passed and in 2010 Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop where dug up and come back to life and while Ghouls they continue their lives at their now moved Manor as their old town of New Burlington was flooded and the town moved to a hidden location in Ohio. And while their pork meat empire slaughter houses are now closed they did generate money while they were dead and their bank account is well stocked with cash and making it very easy for them to continue on and have all types of adventures around the state of Ohio. Baron Von Porkchop dresses in a nice black coat, with a top hat, blue vest, glasses with a magnifier and has very pale grayish skin. While he is a ghoul he is not a flesh eater and has a very fun loving nature with a hint of an ego. He really enjoys hosting the movies and bringing his viewers his show as his “Piggies” as he calls them are like his close friends. Baron is very much in love with The Baroness as he would do anything to make her happy, and his best friend is the family butler Bean. Baron Von Porkchop besides his show has done lots of cool things in and around Dayton as he has hosted a Halloween Theme Dinner party at Lily’s Bistro, he has been a guest and attended conventions like HorrorHound Weekend, I.C.E. and Cinema Wasteland to name a few. He has hosted movies at theaters Englewood Cinema and Danbarry Huber Heights. He has hosted verity show “Dirty Little Secrets” at Wiley’s Comedy Club. At Gilly’s Jazz club an event called “Baron’s Ball” was held that had many great music acts play for Baron and his guests, not to mention he even hosted the freakshow event called “Captain Johnny’s Whiz Bang” at Gilly’s. He has attended Halloween Parties for fans and even has done charity events. Plus he has appeared in comic books namely “Shocking Macabre Theater” by Sparkle Comics. As you can see Baron does lots of great things for fans to enjoy, and he has no plans of slowing down anytime soon. Stephen Alexander II is the man who plays Baron Von Porkchop and is not only my cousin but also was a founding member of the “Gem City Gentlemen Of The Gilded Beard” a beard club that did events for charity, he also is a writer for comic book company Sparkle Comics and is a pretty creative guy who also makes custom Funko Pop! Figures, creates enamel pins and repairs old smoking pipes.

Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre began in 2010 and started airing on DATV, MVCC and The Monster Channel with host Baron Von Porkchop and took viewers by storm as the area of Dayton, Ohio was in need of an active Horror Host as many of the hosts had taken time away or retired. Out the gate Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre gained a great following with loyal viewers who enjoyed Baron Von Porkchop and the crazy world around him. The show is still going strong as of 2021 and has had a number of regular episodes as well as many specials, showing that BVP is here to stay! The show is one that takes Baron all around the city of Dayton as well as conventions and events and even has guests and story arches…it’s like a Horror Host sitcom wrapped around cheesy films. Baron on the show not only hosts classic public domain films but also hosts many independent films of all types of budgets. Baron has even hosted wrestling matches from Rockstar Pro Wrestling for a special. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre is a staple of Dayton airwaves and still has many more episodes and specials to come.

But did you know that Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre was original going to be new episodes of Shock Theater and was slated to be the return of Dr. Creep as Dayton’s Horror Host? For years Dr. Creep and I talked about bringing his show back as while his health was on a decline he had the itch to get back to hosting movies and entertaining viewers. So to prepare for his return I wrote out several episode ideas and decided to film a Horror Host show that would be just seen by my friends in order to truly get ready for Dr. Creep’s return. So while chatting with my cousin Stephen we decided that he would act as the host and the name Baron Von Porkchop was created by me due to his sideburns. We came up with an idea of Baron going fishing to capture a Creature From The Black Lagoon type fish monster in order to serve him to dinner guests, Baron was more of a snarling sinister type Host with a toned down voice, in other words he was more played on fear and not laughs. We choose the movie Night Fright to host and once filmed I made generic opening credits for the show we were calling “Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre” and once edited I burnt it onto a DVD and gave copies to a few fiends including Rick Martin and Andy Copp both who brought back Dr. Creep with New Shock Theater back in the late 90’s, and the response we got from the episode and Baron Von Porkchop was overwhelming with everyone saying that we should do more episodes and turn him into an ongoing Horror Host! Andy Copp told me he thought I had something special with Baron and even said that he could get it aired on public access station DATV, and with those kind words among many others Stephen and I decided that we would indeed keep Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as it’s own series and when Dr. Creep’s health would get better I would do both shows! Sadly Dr. Creep’s health only got worse and on January 14, 2011 the world lost this amazing man and host, and this was very sad for not only Dayton but for all who enjoyed Dr. Creep’s antics.

As the show grew I knew that I had to cast my friend and then co-worker Stephanie Stidham in the show so she became Baroness Von Porkchop, and the show just kept growing from there. While working on Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre BVP has had the pleasure of working with many of the Horror Hosts from Dayton’s past like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak and Iris & Retina and this to me shows the bond that our area hosts have together. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has become a true Friday night tradition for many viewers as we have gotten fan snail mail and emails from viewers as even our home station of DATV has gotten mail about how much the shows means to our viewers and one amazing thing was a local retirement home have movie nights watching Baron! Heck even during the 2020 pandemic we even filmed a few Specials to help our viewers out and give them some laughs during the hard time. I truly love creating the show Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre alongside my cousin Stephen and we have more ideas and spooky, silly adventures planned for Baron coming up over the next few years.

As like all good Horror Hosted shows Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has it’s fair share of amazing cohosts and sidekicks that live in and around the Porkchop Manor. The lovely Baroness Von Porkchop is the voice of reason when it comes to the decisions made in and around the Manor, she is elegant and stunning and was a former Miss Slaughterhouse Pageant winner and is one of New Burlington’s most beautiful women, The Baroness is played by Stephanie Stidham. Bean is the longtime hunchback butler for the Porkchop’s and is the one who for over a century took care of Porkchop Manor and is responsible for finding them and bringing them back to life, he is a silly goofy man who helps BVP get into all types of wacky adventures and always encourages his off the wall and lazy ways. Bean is played by Bruce Lerma who is the nephew of Horror Hosts Iris and Retina from Mondo Smash A’ Go-Go! Jenkins The Pigman was the first pigman experiment that BVP and Bean created and they decided not to kill him for his meat and keep him as a member of the manor, Jenkins is very strong and also has a darkside and will do whatever he can to protect Baron and Baroness. Jenkins The Pigman was played originally by Gary Wolf and later on by myself among others. The manors cook is JD The Meatman a loyal and skilled meat cutter who has worked for Baron in his old slaughterhouse and now works in his kitchen, JD is played by artist Eric Shonborn. Viola Poison was at one time the maid for Porkchop Manor and was skilled in not only cleaning but also using Poison, she also had a massive crush on the Baron and this is what lead to her leaving the Manor, Viola was played by Emily Marshall. And these are the main sidekick characters that make up Porkchop Manor!

The Baron also has some friends in and around town that includes his neighbors Sleazy Tom a laid back ladies man who while sleazy does have a good heart who was played by Max Ervin (who sadly passed away in 2013) and on the other side is Mr. G the lizard headed mascot form the closed down Renaissance Music Media store who is enjoying retirement and is still played by Geoff Burkman. The Son Of Hercules a strong man of myth and legend and is one of Barons best friends and is played by Mike Ritchie. Melvin is a monster-faced goofball who is the helper of Stephen Von Frankenstein and enjoys hanging out with Baron and is his Halloween buddy, Melvin is played by the legendary local actor Josh Weinberg! And this is just a drop in the hat of the townies that live in New Burlington as names like Oliver The Werewolf, Mr. Pepperton, Susie The DJ, Beerwolf, Wolf Hunter Duke, BK King, Reporter Ted The Fox, Mr. O and so many others make up the townies.

Also Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has had some review hosts that make up one of the shows segments with the original being Reverend Zealot who brought back The Cult Corner that he use to do on New Shock Theater that was hosted by Dr. Creep! Filmmaker Andrew Copp played Reverend Zealot for the second season and sadly he passed away in 2013 making another loss for the show. Brett does video game reviews on his Bad Or Rad segment that started in the third season and he is blogger Brett Prescott. Both Zealot and Brett help make episodes of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre more special for viewers and both are vital to making the show even more fun.

But while BVP has his fair share of friends he also has those in New Burlington who dislike him and the fact he hosts movies for viewers of Public Access, and these sticks in the mud want to end Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre…or even take it over! His main nemesis is Count Van Lambchop the poultry King played by Thomas Smith who is extremely competitive and is upset that he did not become the host of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as he and his wife the lovely Countess Van Lambchop played by Jaimie Mazzone were resurrected before the Von Porkchops. They also have a very loyal butler named Cornbread who dislikes Baron, but he truly cannot stand Bean! The three of them do whatever they can to annoy and be thorns in the side of Baron as they think they should be the center of attention. The next major hater of BVP is Baron Von Porkchop Jr. played by musician Todd The Fox is a crazy fraud he has the people of New Burlington believing that he is truly his son, he is manipulative as well as short tempered and dangerous! And this is just a drop in the hat of the villains of the show as names like Chicken Man, Fulci Zombie, Headless Horseman, The Sadness, Crazed Fan and David J. Getz also cause issues. Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre is like no other Horror Host show from the area as it truly does have a massive world and tons of characters that make it up.

When Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre started up as a full show I spent so much time building the world of New Burlington and knew that I wanted it to be filled with all types of townies from normal people, monsters, retired mascots and even movie characters from indie made films…and one other character that was planned was Baby Von Porkchop who was going to be The Baron and Baroness’s daughter that was going to be played by my friend KD Cyr, the character would have been stuck in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey and would have sent video messages to her parents about her adventures from the haunted woods. You see KD lived near the barrens and was a creative soul that I meet on social media and we hit it off as both of us loved Horror and cheesy movies, and when creating the character I had her 100% in mind and she as well helped create the attitude and storyline for Baby. I was so excited to have her on board for the show and at one point an episode was planned that would have had Baron, Baroness and Bean heading into the Pine Barrens to find her only to have a run in with the Jersey Devil of course! KD would do some trial run footage with a friend and make-up designs, but would never share as she always said that footage was bad as she was nervous in it, and I would encourage her and of course put no stress on her. We put off the characters debut so that she could find what worked for her with playing Baby, and all was going well. But sadly in 2015 the world lost a truly amazing person as KD passed away from a car accident when a reckless driver crashed into the back of her car. Truly heartbreaking news when I found out and even if she never made an appearance on the show she is still to all of us a part of our cast family, and I felt it was only right when writing about the show that she gets the respect she deserves. My deepest sympathy goes to her family and friends as she was an amazing and creative soul.

One thing that I love seeing is fan art done by our viewers as well as just fans of Horror Hosting and over the years we have gotten some pretty amazing pieces of art sent to us! Crazy even some of the artists have who sent us some of the art ended up being on the show! As a creator of Baron Von Porkchop and Sparkle Comics when anyone takes the time to make art for us it’s very appreciated and we love seeing them! Below is some art from many of the talented artists who have drawn BVP over the years. And I want to also send out a massive thank you to everyone who has ever sent us fan art or done art featuring Baron Von Porkchop or any of the cast of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre. Artwork below features ones done by Brett Prescott, Eric Shonborn, MonkeyGoatBoy and Bradley Beard.

Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre has had many regular episodes as well as specials over the years and each of them I enjoyed making, being apart of and even watching, but one has always stood out as the most important episode to me and that was Episode 8 as it was the tribute to the late Dr. Creep who passed away before the episode was filmed. The original idea for the episode was it was suppose to be Baron Von Porkchop hosting a dinner party that the guest of honor was to be Dr. Creep who would have taken over the episode sharing stories of his years of being a Horror Host and they would have hosted a Bela Lugosi film. But sadly Dr. Creep who was in poor health passed away on January 14, 2011 at the age of 69, and this was a sad day for all of Ohio and those of use who grew up watching Dr. Creep and knew the man behind the grease paint. And the episode that was suppose to be his comeback to TV ended up being turned into a celebration of his life and memory. The episode was turned into The Baron and Baroness throwing a dinner party to honor Dr. Creep’s memory and had many of his friends on talk about his life and tell fun stories. Many names showed up like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak, Jeff McClellan, Rick Martin, Geraldo The Hunchback, Reverend Zealot, Mr. G and even characters like Melvin, Duke The Wolf Hunter and Son Of Hercules showed up to pay respects. After the guests shared their stories we showed classic clips of Dr. Creep from Shock Theater. It was very magical hearing each of these guys sharing their stories of traveling, hanging out and working with Dr. Creep. Many also told stories of meeting him for the first time or shared stories he had told them…it was very magical and was something that I hope he would have been proud of. Below is a picture from that film shoot with all the people involved in one shot. Well I need to also say thanks to Juliet Fromholt, Emily Marshall, Maurice Smith, Josh Weinberg and Eric Shonborn all who helped makes the special possible but are not in the picture.

For me one of the greatest honors of doing and creating this show was when on September 11, 2021 when Baron Von Porkchop was inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame as part of the 2020 class in Ohio! BVP took his place with the other Icons from Dayton that was placed in the Hall Of Fame like Dr. Creep, A. Ghastlee Ghoul and The Creeper! This introduction was well attended and BVP was inducted by “The Mummy and The Monkey” an amazing Horror Host duo from Cleveland, Ohio. It was really cool seeing Baron on stage getting the honor of being inducted in, as the years of hard work paid off and it was awesome to see the fans clap for him to get this honor. While the Hall Of Fame was very odd as it was a smaller event due to the on going pandemic and some audio issues plagued the start of the ceremony it was something very special for BVP and myself.

Baron Von Porkchop and his Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as you can see is a show that has became a main stay in Dayton, Ohio and has expanded to the world thanks to the online stations like The Monster Channel and even the online viewing streams of DATV and MVCC. And really one of the biggest honors making this show is getting feedback from the fans as well as being inducted into the Horror Host Hall Of Fame thanks to fan votes as well as votes from his peers. And we are now at the point of this review to talk about the episodes and I decided to not cover all of the episodes of Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre as I will cover Baron Von Porkchop again in the future so I decided to cover seasons one and two as well as the specials that went along with those two seasons. The movies plots will be taken from our pals at IMDB with some being written by myself as well as all the hosts segments. So if you are ready lets spend sometime at Porkchop Manor and have some fun with BVP and his friends that make up New Burlington.

TTOTM: House On Haunted Hill
Starring – Vincent Price & Carol Ohmart         Not Rated       1959

Host: Earl The Gravedigger leads Baroness Von Porkchop and Bean to a dug up gravesite and when the coffin opens its Baron Von Porkchop! Once back at the manor that is located in New Burlington they get cleaning as the place is dusty and Baron even meets his neighbor Sleazy Tom for the first time that wants him to watch his 1900 # dating ad. In the end Baron informs the Piggies at home that we will be returning next week with a new spooky film to share with them.

Movie: Eccentric millionaire Fredrick Loren and his 4th wife, Annabelle, have invited 5 people to the house on Haunted Hill for a “haunted House” party. Whoever will stay in the house for one night will earn ten thousand dollars each. As the night progresses, all the guests are trapped inside the house with ghosts, murderers, and other terrors.

TTOTM: Driller Killer
Starring – Abel Ferrara & Carolyn Marz     Not Rated     1979

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and his friend and butler Bean are working in the manors garage on making a pig man in order to raise and then slaughter and sell his meat as Pig Man Sausage! Throughout the episode Baron and Bean work on the Pigman trying to give him life and add organs as well as use electricity to try and start his heart. In the end when all looks as if it has failed the Pigman rockets up to life and runs from the garage…Baron and Bean end the issue by shooting the Pigman dead so that he would not run amuck in New Burlington.

Movie: Reno is an artist struggling to survive in NYC. He draws inspiration from scenes of daily street life and occasional random violence. Under pressure to finish his oft-delayed grand masterpiece, his psychotic alter-ego takes over and he begins killing random vagrants to boost his creativity, not quite realizing that it is happening in reality. When an art dealer grimly rejects Reno’s finished masterpiece, Reno’s mental condition quickly deteriorates.

TTOTM: Frankenstein ‘80
Starring – Gordon Mitchell & Xiro Papas     Not Rated     1972

Host: While walking through the woods Baron Von Porkchop runs into a weird looking creature man named Melvin who informs him that Stephen Von Frankenstein needs his help! As Baron follows Melvin to Castle Frankenstein he is told by Stephen that his Monster is now free and wondering the woods! So Baron along with Melvin go looking for The Monster only to find him in a very bad mood!

Movie: A mad scientist creates a monster called “Mosaico,” who breaks out of the laboratory to hunt down and kill beautiful women.

TTOTM: Ulysses Against The Son Of Hercules
Starring – Mike Lane & Georges Marchal     Not Rated     1962

Host: Baron, Baroness and Bean get a call from The Son Of Hercules that he needs their help in order to get back a golden apple that is in the hands of an old witch that is inside a haunted collage! So brave Baron and Bean take the quest and leave Baroness behind, while on the quest the encounter a zombie and ghosts before coming face to face with the witch…the coward out and run away before getting the apple. On their way back to face The Son Of Hercules they are coming up with a story in why they failed in the quest only to be greeted by the Baroness who had went the quest along and retrieved the apple!

Movie: Ulysses offends the gods by blinding the Cyclops, so they send Hercules to capture him and bring him to them.

TTOTM: Five Minutes To Live
Starring – Johnny Cash & Ron Howard     Not Rated     1961

Host: Baron and Baroness head to grocery store Big Bear in Lebanon, Ohio in order to sell them his freshly made Pigman sausage as when he was alive that chain was very much into stocking his quality pork products. But to their horror Big Bear is out of business and hanging around was one of the stores old managers who tells them they should sell their meat by going door to door…and Baron and Baroness do just that and turn it into a computation on who can sell more! The split up and meet all types of strange people trying to sell them this meat…in the end The Baroness comes out the winner!

Movie: Fred narrates the film in flashback, detailing a suburban bank robbery that goes awry. In his simple plan, he hires a hard-up hood, Johnny Cabot to take the wife of the bank’s vice president hostage. Cabot will hold her until he gets a call alerting him that Fred has been successful in getting ransom money. Cabot waits, and watches the Wilson house as the husband leaves for the bank and their young son heads off to school. Posing as a door-to-door guitar instructor, he forces his way into the house and takes Nancy Wilson hostage. At the bank, Fred talks his way into Ken Wilson’s office, and presents his personal check for $70,000, intending that Wilson will withdraw the funds to cover the check as a ransom for his wife. He has Wilson call home to prove that Nancy is being held by the unstable Cabot, and gives Wilson 5 minutes to make his.

TTOTM: Fury Of The Wolfman
Starring – Paul Naschy & Perla Cristal     Rated PG     1972

Host: Baron Von Porkchop gets the invite of a lifetime as he is able to sit down and have a one of one interview with world famous werewolf hunter Duke! Duke The Wolf Hunter was seen in the second shot on video film “The Wolf Hunter II” and shares is secrets of hunting down werewolf scum. Also along for this amazing interview is Bean who is star struck by the hunter, as well as a heck of a lot of blood sucking Cicadas who are trying to ruin Baron’s show!

Movie: Waldimar Daninsky, a lone survivor of a Tibetian expedition, returns home to find his wife has been unfaithful to him. Carrying the curse of the pentagram (or pentagon, as stated by the monk who nursed him back to health), the fury of the wolfman is unleashed! After disposing of his cheating spouse, he finds himself captive in a castle by a female mad scientist conducting mind control experiments. In a vein attempt at escape, he discovers the freaks left over from past experiments dwelling in the dungeons.

TTOTM: Night Fright
Starring – John Agar & Dorothy Davis     Not Rated     1967

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is going fishing to try and snag a fish creature using Beans brain as bait! He is trying his hardest to capture this creature as he wants to serve his meat to his dinner guests that are gathering the next episode to honor the late great Dr. Creep! In the end Baron is able to snag the creature!

Movie: A government space experiment into the effects of cosmic rays on animal life goes horribly wrong, creating a mutant monster that terrorizes a rural community.

TTOTM: Dr. Creep Tribute
Starring – Dr. Creep & Dow Thomas     Not Rated     1970-1990

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop are throwing a dinner part to honor Dr. Creep the Dayton, Ohio iconic Horror Host. They have JD The Meatman cook up the Creature Meat and have snacks and treats for the guests as Bean escorts them to the dinner table. Guests include Rick Martin, A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Jeff McClellan American, Dr. Freak, Geraldo The Hunchback, Duke The Wolf Hunter, Son Of Hercules, Melvin, Mr. G and Reverend Zealot and they all share amazing and fun Dr. Creep stories and myths.

Movie: Clips of Dr. Creep over the ages from his shows Shock Theatre, Saturday Night Dead and New Shock Theater. As well as some of his public appearances over the years at events.

TTOTM: Independent Short Films
Starring – Dave Wean & Kipp Poe     Not Rated     1990’s-2000’s

Host: The Baroness wants Baron and Bean to clean up the garage as its getting out of hand with boxes that is filled with old media, toys and forgotten relics…but cleaning is no fun so they decide to dig out some independently made horror short films and share them with the Piggies at home! They also find out that Mr. G has moved in next-door and he as well shares a short film! And when all said and done Baron and Bean do nothing and the Baroness is not very happy!

Movie: Indie short films shown on this episode are “The Cask Amontillado”, “Dreadful”, “Callback”, “Songs In The Key Of Satan” and “Outpost 31”.

TTOTM: Phantom From 10,000 Leagues
Starring – Dave Wean & Kipp Poe     Not Rated     1955

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is very distracted from hosting the nights film as he has gotten himself a video game console and is playing the game Space Invaders as he thinks that by playing the game he is saving the Earth. He is so focused that he is ignoring the issues of the manor as well as his wife The Baroness and friends Sleazy Tom, Bean and Jenkins The Pigman!

Movie: An unusual radioactive rock on the sea bottom mutates the ocean life into a horrible monster. When charred, radioactive bodies begin to drift ashore a scientist and government agent investigate the phenomenon, and it’s connection to a local marine biology professor.

TTOTM: Quiet Nights Of Blood And Pain
Starring – Amanda DeLotelle & Loren Goins     Not Rated     2009

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has cult indie filmmaker Andy Copp over to the manor to chat about his legacy of making films, television shows as well as his work with Dr. Creep. And of course Bean is around to make sure their guest is uncomfortable or is that comfortable?

Movie: The movie deals with two soldiers home from the Iraq war suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but in vastly different ways. One see’s her life falling apart in night-terrors, flashbacks, insomnia, and a total lack of government support. The other still believes he is fighting the war now that he is back on American soil. Still convinced he is supposed to torture and kill any and everyone who can be viewed as Anti-American. Soon they will be at a crossroads and blood will be flooding the American streets.

TTOTM: White Pongo
Starring – Richard Fraser & Maris Wrixon     Not Rated     1945

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Bean are on the hunt for a creature that broke into the manor and stole one of the Baronesses little figures! The two head to the woods and soon find that they are looking for a Were-Gorilla, and they try to get the item back as well as avoid its rage.

Movie: Suspecting that a safari guide is a wanted killer, undercover policeman Geoffrey Bishop joins a safari led by the suspect for a scientist that hopes to find and prove that a fabled white gorilla is a missing link.

TTOTM: I Eat Your Skin
Starring – William Joyce & Heather Hewitt     Rated PG     1971

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop get a visitor who claims he is their long lost son, but the thing is they never had a son! Baron Von Porkchop Jr. starts to be a menace around the manor as well as starts to interfere in the personal life and business life of Baron that causes him lots of issues. But it’s soon seen that BVP Jr. is not stable and Baron must find a way to get ride of him once and for all.

Movie: A cancer researcher on a remote Caribbean island discovers that by treating the natives with snake venom he can turn them into bug-eyed zombies. Uninterested in this information, the unfortunate man is forced by his evil employer to create an army of the creatures in order to conquer the world.

TTOTM: Atomic Age Vampire
Starring – Susanne Loret & Alberto Lupo     Not Rated     1960

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is forced to find a job as Baroness is sick of him just hanging around the manor so he gets hired to be a DJ at New Burlington’s radio station. And of course Baron has no clue what he is doing and causes all kinds of havoc on the air as well as broadcasting dead air!! And as fast as he is hired he hides so they can not fire him.

Movie: A stripper is horribly disfigured in a car accident. A brilliant scientist develops a treatment that restores her beauty and falls in love with her. To preserve her appearance the doctor must give her additional treatments using glands taken from murdered women. His unexplained ability to turn into a hideous monster helps with this problem but does nothing to win her love. The doctor’s woes multiply as the police and the girl’s boyfriend begin to close in on him.

TTOTM: Wolf Hunter 1 & 2
Starring – Matt Hoffman & Jason Gilmore     Not Rated     2001/2006

Host: Baron Von Porkchop heads to the werewolf infested Malice’s Bridge in order to get an interview with the famous Wolf Hunter, but he soon finds out that the hero is not showing up but instead he is being stalked by many werewolves from Independent B Movie films like Scars, Red-Eye, Man-Beast and Oliver. But lucky for BVP his luck foils many of their attempts to make him dinner.

Movie: The Wolf Hunter: Malice king of all werewolves is rampaging in Ohio and a business owners daughter has been kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend who is now a werewolf and the states only hope is The Wolf Hunter. Wolf Hunter 2: Malice is still on the loose and now his biggest rival Ravenger has entered Ohio and a werewolf turf war is about to go down, and The Wolf Hunter who is trying to kill off the werewolves and keep order has his own issues when Duke another Wolf Hunter is called in. Can the two work together and stop this werewolf invasion?

TTOTM: Vampire
Starring – John Beal & Coleen Grey     Not Rated     1957

Host: Baron and Baroness Von Porkchop get sad news that their butler and friend Bean has to leave the manor as he has found a wife and plans on starting his own family. And now Baron and Baroness must hold interviews in order to find his replacement and all types of people show up in order to get the job and some of them are perfect fits while others are weirdoes. In the end BVP shoots them all down before hiring maid Viola Poison strictly on her good looks. Lots of cool cameos in this episode including Geraldo The Hunchback from New Shock Theater.

Movie: A kind, small-town doctor mistakenly ingests pills made from vampire bat blood and they turn him into a dangerous fanged creature.

TTOTM: Legend Of Bigfoot
Starring – Ivan Marx & Peggy Marx     Rated PG     1975

Host: Baron Von Porkchop gets fellow Dayton, Ohio Horror Hosts Iris & Retina to help him hunt down a Bigfoot as he needs the creatures meat in order to make his famous BigFoot Chili to enter into the New Burlington Chili Cook-Off! The Horror Hosts wonder around the woods and hear the yells of the creature as well as find the evidence that they need to know they are on the right track. And in the end Baron is able to take down one of the creatures.

Movie: A documentary about the legendary creature, Bigfoot, with emphasis on him being the missing link.

TTOTM: Undertaker And His Pals
Starring – Warrene Ott & James Westmoreland     Rated R     1966

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has brought his whole crew (Baroness Von Porkchop, Jenkins The Pigman, JD The Meatman and Viola Poison) to the New Burlington Chili Cook-Off as he has entered his famous Bigfoot Chili, but the compotation is heavy as rival Count Van Lambchop and his wife The Countess has also entered their chili in the contest. Viola and Jenkins try to help rig the voting by messing with others chili as Baron and the Count continue their life long feud. With a panel of guest judges that include musicians and comic book artists it’s a chili showdown for who takes first place. This episode also has a cameo from Bean!

Movie: An undertaker and his two friends, who are restaurant owners, drum up business by going out on the town and killing people; the restaurant owners use parts of the bodies for their menu, and the undertaker gets paid by the families to bury the remainder. Their racket goes awry when 2 detectives suspect that something isn’t quite kosher.

Now that we have taken a look at the first two seasons (season three and on will be for another future update) lets take a look at the special episodes that when along with these first two seasons.

Son Of Hercules Power Hours: Samson
Starring – Brad Harris & Mara Berni     Not Rated       1961

Host: The Son Of Hercules hosts his own show that was a failed TV Polit that he was trying to get TBS to air in the 1980’s. This special has Son Of Hercules giving work out tips, arm wrestling an alien as well as showing his love for heavy metal music. A silly fun time with the Mighty Son of Hercules!

Movie: While traveling through the kingdom of Sulom, Samson is arrested and finds that the queen no longer reigns and that a power-mad warlord and his army of mercenaries now controls the kingdom. Samson teams up with some of his one-time adversaries to battle the usurper and restore the rightful queen to power.

BVP Halloween Special 1: The Sadness
Starring – Jason Young & Garrison Kane     Not Rated       2006

Host: Baron Von Porkchop celebrates Halloween by going to the site of The Sadness Collage Murders, and once there he starts coming across bodies and thinks that the students are adding the spooky holiday festivities, but the Baron soon realizes that The Sadness has returned to the scene of the crime and that Baron might just be his next victim.

Movie: A young collage student witnesses the murder of her next door neighbor and makes the mistake of talking about it on her friends radio show, and now the killer knows as The Sadness has shown up to the collage and wants to silence her and her friends forever as he never leaves a witness behind.

BVP Charity Special: Abraham Lincoln
Starring – Walter Huston & Ian Keith   Not Rated       1930

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Count Van Lambchop are having an argument about the location of Lambchop’s new poultry farm when the zombie of Abbe Lincoln and his subjects come back from the grave and are hungry for brains and both Barons and Counts look good to them, so now the two foes must survive together in order to escape the zombie version of America’s 16^th President. Done for the Gem City Gentlemen Of The Gilded Beard charity event.

Movie: Brief vignettes about Lincoln’s early life include his birth, early jobs, (unsubstantiated) affair with Ann Rutledge, courtship of Mary Todd, and the Lincoln-Douglas debates; his presidency and the Civil War are followed in somewhat more detail, though without actual battle scenes; film concludes with the assassination.

BVP Halloween Special 2: Werewolf Of Ohio
Starring – Josh Weinberg & Matt Hoffman     Not Rated       2001

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and his friend Melvin are going trick or treating and Baron is not following the safety rules and is making all kinds of mistakes, but they soon meet an old man who tells them the story of The Headless Horseman, and little does Baron know that The Headless Horseman is now in New Burlington and has his site on making this Halloween very fighting for our Horror Host.

Movie: Josh is a young man who’s family has been killed by a werewolf and has spent his life trying to track and kill the beast, now with a trusty Cameraman and the world famous Wolf Hunter he tracks down this killer beast for one final showdown.

BVP HorrorHound 2012 Special: Corpse Vanishes
Starring – Bela Lugosi & Luana Walters     Not Rated       1942

Host: Baron Von Porkchop is a guest at the HorrorHound 2012 convention and has decided to leave Viola Posion and Susie The DJ in charge of his table as he goes on a quest to find and win the heart of Horror Hostess Marlena Midnite of Midnite Mausileum. And while on his quest he stops along the way to talk to his fellow Horror Hosts as well as celeberties in attendance including Gunner Hansen and Doug Bradley. And when Baron finds her will he win her over or chicken out.

Movie: Dr. Lorenz, a mad scientist, wants to keep his elderly wife young. He does this by kidnapping young females and extracting fluid from them. He then injects this fluid into his wife.

BVP Arcade Special: Beast of Yucca Flats
Starring – Tor Johnson & Conrad Brooks     Not Rated       1961

Host: Baron Von Porkchop heads to the store Game Swap as they have just gotten in a new Pac Man Arcade Machine for play and he is annoyed that he has to wait in line as all he wants to do is play a game of Pac Man and even has brought his tip book as well as Jenkins The Pigman along for the experience. But will Baron be able to play a game before the store closes as the line is long and his anger is rising.

Movie: A defecting Soviet scientist is hit by a nuclear explosion near Yucca Flats and roams around as a beast.

BVP Halloween Special 3: Indie Short Films
Starring – Stephen Alexander & Zach Prater     Not Rated       1990’s-2000’s

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Melvin are dared to stay the night in the haunted graveyard of Dr. Freak by JD The Meatman and with snack food in hand and shaky nerves the two hang out and tell each other ghost stories that are really short films from Indie Horror Film directors. But when Horror Host Dr. Freak shows up will be mad about his trespassing guests or will he join in on the spooky tales of terror this Halloween night.

Movie: Indie Films show are “El Toro 2”, “Hellraiser: Warehouse”, “Mummy vs. The Stalker”, “The Return Of Freddy”, “Bark At The Moon: Malice”, “Bark At The Moon: Scars”, “Nightmare” and “High Hopes”.

BVP Black Friday Special 1: Farmer Joe
Starring – Mike Ritchie & Henrique Couto     Not Rated       2001

Host: Baron Von Porkchop has made a half man and half chicken creature that was suppose to be for Thanksgiving but had pitty on the creature and let him live, but now the Chicken creature is a menace and is always on his cell phone and is just rude to everyone he comes across! Baron goes to get advice from the BK and learns that he must kill his creation with an ax, but can he do it?

Movie: Danny is a young kid who is being bullied and on a dare goes to a haunted farm and summons the spirit of the crazed Farmer Joe who is out for revenge on the man who sold him bad seeds and ruined his harvest many years ago, but he also has Danny and his bullies on his radar of death, can Danny’s Dad save his sons life and soul, or is all hope lost now that Farmer Joe has returned.

BVP Halloween Special 4: White Zombie
Starring – Bela Lugosi & Madge Bellamy     Not Rated       1932

Host: Baron Von Porkchop and Melvin this Halloween decided to rent a small cabin in the country to get away from all of the craziness that they have been through the past three years, but unlucky for them the Fulci Zombie an ax swinging undead serial killer is around and wants to make them both dead! But will Baron and Melvin figure out a way to stop this murdering rampage or will they just be more victims on his ever-growing list.

Movie: A young man turns to a witch doctor to lure the woman he loves away from her fiancé, but instead turns her into a zombie slave.

BVP Black Friday Special 2: Razor
Starring – Jason Gilmore & Josh Weinberg     Not Rated       2002

Host: Chicken Man is back and is running all around New Burlington causing issues for all the locals and making them all very angry, and they want to know who is the man behind this menace and many point the finger at Count Van Lambchop and Baron now must stop his creation before the town discovers the truth that this cell phone texting annoying chicken is his doing.

Movie: A young man is plagued with memories of a past he seems to have lived and a father who was pure evil, now Mike must unravel a mystery that all leads to a blood drinking killer that has been around for centuries and try and figure out how his life and past are tied to this psycho.

Baron Von Porkchop is a Horror Host that has brought Dayton, Ohio and beyond viewers laughs, scares and cheesy movies for over 10 years now and the cast of characters that make up New Burlington have all did their part to make this show special. And from the bottom of my heart I want to think every cast member and every fan that has made Terrifying Tales Of The Macabre must see TV and apart of your life, as well as make the dreams of this blogger come true as I have always wanted to create my own show and I cannot think of a better person to create this show with then my cousin Stephen. And like I have said this will not be the only Horror Host Icon update about Baron Von Porkchop so you fans, friends and readers will have more to look forward to in the future. But now lets talk about our next update that will be our Halloween update and will take us away from the world of Horror Hosts and into the world of SOV Horror as we look at a 1990’s gem called “Hatchet”! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch an indie film or two and as always support your local Horror Host. See you next update for some VHS Horror Fun.

The Forgotten Dusty Vault Of Doomnation

Welcome back to Rotten Ink!  Lately I have been thinking about the new boom of independent comic companies who’s issues have found life not only at your local comic shops but also online on their official websites as well as crowd funding sites like Kickstarter and Indie Go-Go giving us more selection to choose from besides Marvel, DC, Image, Archie and Dark Horse Comics, all of whom have been around for the long haul of the rise and fall of comic book popularity. I mean companies like IDW, Boom and Action Lab, among many others, have their issues in Diamond Previews while companies like Eibon Press, Rough House Publishing and Digital Phantom Press all deliver their comics directly to the reader and cut out the middle man. Even Jason Young and myself have gotten into the act when we opened Sparkle Comics and its sub branch Blood Scream Comics as we also wanted to deliver high quality comics to our readers and be creative with our friends. But back in the mid 80’s – early 90’s, lots of independent comic companies popped up and tried to deliver black and white comic books to cash in on the 1985 success of Mirage Studios who had a huge hit with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Many of the companies had their own mutant animal books who knew Kung-Fu or were like elite task force fighters.  Many Horror books were made during this time, and while some companies were made on the spot to try and cash in, many others suffered as the market began to be flooded with poorly made and drawn comics that filled comic store shelves and burnt readers with their terrible stories. With such titles as “Geriatric Gangrene Jujitsu Gerbils”, “Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters” and “Cold Blooded Chameleon Commandos” being pushed upon readers, the independent comic company bubble burst in the late 80’s, and as quickly as the boom happened, it imploded on itself and many companies folded up or were bought out by the other companies while others just faded away to have their issues end up in dollar bins. This update is about one of those comic companies that I knew about when I was a teenager thanks to a local comic shop that had them in stock and my favorite comic in their short-lived life called The Vault Of Doomnation.  So sit back and enjoy this quick “looking back” update, below is my tribute to some of the comic companies from the past that left the comic racks way too soon.

One of those pop-up companies was B-Movie Comics, who started in 1986 and by 1987 was out of business with only four titles under their belt with only two of those titles having more than one issue! The company’s titles were “B-Movie Presents,” a series that lasted four issues and was about fake movies like Tasa Congo Queen and Matrix The Accelerator. They also had “Vault Of Doomnation!” a horror comic anthology much like Marvel Comics series Dead Of Night that very sadly only lasted one issue. And they had “Eric Preston Is The Flame,” a generic Superhero comic that lasted one issue. And lastly another Superhero comic called “Reacto-Man” that appears to have lasted a total of three issues. From what I can gather, B-Movie comics was based out of Indiana and was a creator owned company that had Mark Paniccia as owner and maybe editor in chief, and they were a company that tried to make it big with the black and white independent comic boom of the mid-eighties but could not compete with all the competition. Mark Paniccia, later in his comic career, would go on to work for Malibu Comics, TokyoPop and Marvel Comics where he still works as an editor as of the time of this update. It’s been hard to find direct info on this company as they did not last long enough to make an impact and many websites, blogs and chats I have read all have different information on what comics they released and how long they stayed in business. Their logo was white and black and had a man behind a camera, and this logo, while not all that eye catching compared to other companies, always stood out to me as I was always mesmerized by shot-on video-films and shows like “Moraine Playhouse Theater” on MVCC and other horror and science fiction movie stuff, and their logo reminded me of the small guy trying to make big entertainment. I first learned about B-Movie Comics thanks to Mavericks Cards and Comics when I was a teenager and started shopping there. While going through the back issue boxes looking for old Horror Comics, I stumbled upon the comic Vault Of Doomnation! and can remember buying it for $1.85 and taking it home and reading it in my room in Waynesville and enjoying the horror stories, and if memory serves me correct, I read it during a thunderstorm! While gone and by most accounts forgotten, I for one enjoyed B-Movie Comics and thank them for making their tiny mark on the world of comic books. Below are some comics they released as well as the company’s logo.

While working on this update back in October 2016, I was feeling very nostalgic for the past and with a slow day at work on October 7^th I left work early around 1:30pm and along with pal Josh Weinberg we headed to my true hometown Waynesville to check on a rumor that the old Dairy Corner was torn down and a new Dominos Pizza was up in its place.  Sadly enough, the rumor was true and a place I loved as a child was gone and a soulless major chain restaurant was in its place.  I’m really letdown that the Waynesville board let this happen. We could not stop at the antique stores in Waynesville as Main Street was blocked to get ready for the Sauerkraut Festival that was gearing up to take place the next day. So we drove to Lebanon to visit Peddler’s Mall as Josh had never been there and I wanted to soak up the past again of being in the old Big Bear and Hearts (Big Bear Plus) and walking into that place always reminds me of toys, comic books, Cracked and MAD Magazines and breakfast cereal as at the time the had the largest selection I had ever seen, and this is where we would get these items growing up. Walking around that place, I shared a few stories with Josh about when it was the iconic grocery and department store as we looked at vintage antiques and collectibles. As we left, I wanted to see if maybe behind the building if the original Big Bear Plus store signs were left behind as in the main lot the only thing left to show Big Bear was even there is a parking lot sign. While driving behind the building, it was clear that sadly the signs were gone but we did find on one of the loading docks they had signs for each department like meat and dairy, and after getting out of the car to snap a pictures, I noticed that the dock must have been a hang out for kids as broken beer bottles and pill bottles littered the ground. As we left the parking lot, it hit me that it really is a shame that Big Bear went out of business and that stores like Kroger and Wal-Mart were the ones who put the nail in its coffin as they did with other stores like Cub Foods in my area, but as they say, you can’t live in the past you must live for the future, and while I know I have chatted about Big Bear on here before I wanted to also share the pictures I took that day with you friends and readers, so enjoy.

So I am sure you’re wondering if I found anything at the Peddlers Mall in Lebanon on that trip, and I must say I sure did as I found a big Imperial Godzilla just like the one I got from my Aunt Laverne and Uncle George for my birthday when I was a kid for $25.00. This toy also triggered memories of the past from having Godzilla fight with my 12” Incredible Hulk Mego figure during my Toy Wars to Sarah Fix hanging out in my house on Pittsfield chatting about it while looking for a Horror Movie to watch when I was a teenager. The other item I found was an old rubber caveman figure that looks lots like a Jiggler from the late 60’s that was only $2.50! The one items I regretted not picking up was the Starting Lineup figure for golf legend Arnold Palmer as I had been on a kick of drinking the drink named after him that’s a tea and lemonade mix as it was only $4.00 and a Blue Falcon and Dynomutt metal lunchbox that was $25.00. Below is a picture of Godzilla and The Caveman I took on the day I bought them both.

When leaving Peddlers Mall, we decided to drive once more through Waynesville, and we ended up driving down the old street I lived on Royston Drive where I really realized that I 100% really do miss that neighborhood and all the kids that my brother Bryan and I use to run around with in our youth. So many great times of playing baseball, football, basketball, ball tag, Nintendo games and toys were had on this street. 645 Royston Drive was the only home that I have ever lived in that felt like just that home.  My old room on the second floor just above the garage with the terrible white wall paper with flowers was a place that I played with toys, read comics and paperback novels, worked on my own short stories and drew up my own comic book characters and monsters. The walls of my room was covered with posters of Bart Simpson, The Joker, Pro Wrestler The Great Muta and many more pop culture characters, I also had a very old and vintage blackboard that was in my room that I would draw pictures of Swamp Thing and Spider-Man on with colored chalk and even made fake boxing and pro wrestling event brackets. A hallway and a bathroom separated my room from my brother’s and I always knew that he was close if ever an emergency were to happen. So many great memories is in that house from watching Commander USA on TV to playing Nintendo against my Dad to even hanging out with my pet mice Grey and White and all the fun times of making crafts with my Mom and even reading comics in my brothers room, this truly was my favorite house I have ever lived in. I can’t really express just how magical that house and the neighborhood were to me, and no matter were I live I will always be a Waynesville Spartan! Below is a picture that my Mom took of the house just after my Dad bought it and I am proud to share it with you my readers and friends, and I will have to end this little segment that if it ever went back up for sale and I could afford it I would love to buy that house and live their again!

I have worked a number of jobs over the years and many of them were lots of fun, and I have met friends I still have at many of those jobs like Odd Lots, Krogers, Replay Media, Mavericks Cards And Comics, Buy Backs and Hotel Liquidations to name a few, but the one I miss the most hands down over the others is the video rental store Blockbuster Video on S. Smithville Road, a place I worked when VHS was still the king and was even around when DVD pushed them out of the stores and into the dumpsters out back. I was there for the roll out of the Rewards Project as well as when they started to take in trades! I meet many of wonderful women that I was able to take out on dates that were employees and customers and I had many of weird moments from grown women flashing me their boobs for free rentals to weird prank calls for films that never were made. It was a place I worked mornings as well as many late nights and was a place that always seemed fun even during the busiest of days and with most annoying customers. It was also a place I worked that acted as the set for many of the shot on video films I made from “Werewolf Of Ohio 2: 10 Years Before” and “Cocktober Blood” and even though Blockbuster policy was to not allow filming, my bosses always were cool about it. I was never a manager and was a full time CSR that was paid well and even had 2 weeks of paid vacation a year and won many bonuses from winning contests as well as was one of the fastest movie scanners in the area. I can remember around Halloween time one of my managers would allow us to watch Horror films instead of the Blockbuster TV tape/disc that we were supposed to play at all times, and when we would leave, I would hit play on the player and with store dark and at late at night movies like Phantom Of The Opera would be playing on the TVs. I really do miss this job and also really miss the world of Video Rental stores.  No matter what people tell me, scrolling through Netflix’s very limited horror selection will never take the place of walking through a video rental store’s Horror section! The Blockbuster Video I worked for was one of the last to close in the area, and when they finally closed the building sat empty for a while and within the last 2 years it has been split into three smaller stores with a pizza place on one side and on the other end is a pharmacy with the middle still empty and most of the Blockbuster shelves and counters still in there. Here is a pic that Josh and I took on January 11^th of the middle section of what is left of Blockbuster Video that was a big part of my working life. As well as one of my old name tags I found in the old Independent B Movie studio!

Also on January 11^th Josh Weinberg and I decided to visit some of the top locations that we used for some of our most “popular” shot on video films! It was a perfect day for it as the weather outside was chilly and rain was in the forecast, and we selected to start a look back at a location that we at Independent B Movie called “Suicide Hill” as it was the final place we used in our first film Teen Suicide that was shot back in 1998 where the character Matt played by Matt Hoffman killed himself after being bullied by cruel classmates. This location is in a park in Kettering, Ohio and was also used in such films we made as Werewolf Of Ohio, Tree-Man Christmas, Cocktober Blood and Vigilante C: The Hunt For Man-Beast among many others and I must say the location has changed very much as the hill is now over grown with weeds and tree branches and the amount of trash near it was saddening, we stood around for a few moments and chatted about Teen Suicide and just how overgrown the area had became. After a few minutes we left and started to our next location. Below is a picture still from the movie as well as one taken on Jan 11^th to show you just how much the area has changed.

The next location we went to was used for the 2003 supernatural ghost flick Farmer Joe directed by Mike Ritchie that we all called “Farmer Joe’s Barn” that acted as the cursed area that the killer farmer would stalk his prey as well as have the powers to change the weather. And as we pulled up, we were saddened to see first hand that the barn had been torn down by the church that owned the land it was on and in its place was now just grass and four basketball hoops.  Worse, the land that was behind the barn had been sold and over priced giant homes now sat where the characters’ cursed crop fields used to be. Josh and I did our best to try and figure out just where the barn and its green doors used to sit on the now blank land and chatted about the production of the film and funny moments of filming under Mike Ritchie’s direction. Josh had to take a business call, and I just walked around not only remembering the filming of Farmer Joe but also the fun filming day of Vigilante C: The Hunt For Man-Beast that took place on that land, I also remember fun times hanging out at that barn with Jennifer Perkins and Misty Altick looking up at the stars in the sky. As the weather got colder, we headed to our next location and chatted a little more about Farmer Joe and the comic in the works from Blood Scream Comics being done by Jeff Potter and Juliet Fromholt. Below are pictures of the barn from the film to that day of our visit.

Our next stop was in Bellbrook for one of the main locations used in my first film, the 1998 classic Werewolf Of Ohio.  It’s a small little park near Dot’s Market. The site was supposed to be the location where the main character Josh played by Josh Weinberg’s family lived and in the shelter his sister wrote her name in the wood with the name being Kanny.  It was already there when we decided to film the found footage style shot on video horror film, and I was shocked to see the white painted name still there on the second to last beam; while it was faded it was still there! Josh and I laughed about a scene from the film that was shot in the shelter that had his character Josh having a breakdown that had him almost trip over a trashcan he was kicking! Behind the shelter was also another location from Werewolf of Ohio, a stream that acted as the characters’ backyard, and this location had changed as all the woods near the entrance have been removed as was the old muddy and gravel path that was near it. This location, while different, really did bring back memories of the good old days of Independent B Movie when me and my friends had no money but big ideas for horror movies. Josh and I chatted about the idea of doing a Werewolf Of Ohio 3, but we knew that if it is ever to happen, it would have to be now made as a comic book. After walking around for a while, the sky became darker and we decided to head to our final location and stop and get some lunch. Below is the stream from the past as well as the present.

Xenia was our final location visit, and after stopping at Roosters for some chicken wings, we headed out to what we have always called “Malice’s Bridge,” the main location for the final fight between The Wolf Hunter and Malice in both the 2003 film The Wolf Hunter and its sequel, the 2006 film Wolf Hunter 2. The rain was starting to come down as we made our trip to the bridge and all the way there we chatted about all the films and TV shows we had filmed at the bridge and memories of Wolf Hunter and Wolf Hunter 2 mostly. As we pulled down the street that lead to the bridge, we got a bad shock as the bridge was being blocked by road workers who looked annoyed that we were coming down the road! We turned around and decided to get some drinks at a gas station in Xenia and wait to see if the rain that was now really coming down would make the road workers leave, and we got lucky as when we got back to the bridge the workers were gone! Josh decided to stay in the car as the rain was coming down pretty heavy, but I did get out and noticed that the area around the bridge had been stripped of the grass and brush and was now just mud, I also noticed that much of the bridges wood was new and it appeared as if maybe some one set it ablaze as wood on some of it had scorched marks! Clearly this classic covered bridge has been the target of some arson and that’s a shame as the bridge is pretty damn cool and holds history as well as shot on video history. I quickly stepped on the bridge and had to laugh as some one spray painted on a support beam “I Love Matt” and I just imagined a fan of Matt Hoffman aka The Wolf Hunter painting that hoping that he would see it. After getting back into the car, I reflected on this day of visiting the old filming spots of Independent B Movies and realized that many of the classic set places have changed and many are now just gone, but it also made me miss the days of making movies with friends as being creative is something I have always loved to be. I want to thank Josh Weinberg for coming along for the ride on this look back and I think he as well had a great time looking back and slightly misses making SOV films as well. Below is a pic of Malice’s Bridge from the past falling apart and the second is from the present.

I am having such a great time looking back at the past and thought, hell, let’s also cover a Horror Movie Marathon that was held on July 23, 2017 at my cousin Stephen’s house! For me, the Horror Movie Marathon is very special and is an event that has brought many good times to my life hanging out with family and friends while watching the scares on our TV screen. This event was semi well attended and many of my friends showed up to enjoy the blood, guts and scares that was selected to show as Stephen Alexander, Theresa Lopez, Josh Weinberg, Juliet Fromholt, Jason Young, Todd The Fox and Garrison Kane all showed up throughout the day. The first film of the day was “Dark And Stormy Night” a modern flick that has a classic retro feel about a mansion under attack on a stormy night by two hooded killers during a will reading. “Dangerous Worry Dolls” was the second film about a woman in prison who is possessed by a worry doll that causes her to kill those who stand in her way. The shot on video film “The Dummy” was next up and follows a killer doll that is making short work of a group of friends thanks to a voodoo lady who put a curse on them. The 1991creature feature “The Runestone” was next up and was about the Norse wolf Fenrir running wild in modern times to try to bring on the end of the world! The low budget slasher film “Hayride 2” was up next and brought back the killer from the first film who still has lots of blood to spill and even targets a hospital on his rampage. The creepy film “Child Eater” was next in line to scare us and was about a freak that lives in the woods that kills, eats and steals the eyes of children! Finally got to watch the female slasher film “Blood Widow” about a crazed masked female killer who lives in an abandoned house and has targeted the new neighbors and their friends. The 2017 creature flick “The Raking” was next and follows a group of collage kids looking into a creepypasta creature that turns out to be real! The retro style film “Beyond The Gates” followed and is about two brothers having to play an old VHS Board Game in order to save their souls and their dead fathers. My cousin Stephen picked the next film called “Pitchfork” that follows a crazed masked killer who has a pitchfork for a hand as he kills a batch of partying youngsters. And the final film of the night was “The Slayer” about a creature on the loose on an island who wants lots of death and no happy ending.

This marathon was lots of fun even if the turn out was not packed and was filled with good food and great drinks and great horror movie talk with amazing friends. For me the worst film aka the Golden Turkey of the night was The Raking as I found it to be a very boring slow paced film with dorky characters and a monster that was way under used. Now as for my top three favorite films of the night, I would have to say my # 1 was Blood Widow as I enjoyed the killer and the atmosphere reminded me of the independent horror films of the 80’s not to mention it also had some pretty brutal effects with a leg snapping being the stand out…you should have heard all of us when this happened. The # 2 film for me was Beyond The Gate as I loved the retro feel to the film and it was short and sweet and filled with some great bloody effects. And # 3 was Dark And Stormy Night a great throwback parody film of the 30’s and 40’s haunted house films! I need to also say that I enjoyed The Slayer and The Dummy as well. Another great Marathon was in the books and here is to many more to come!

The killer of the marathon was Fenrir from Runestone who had a body count of over 30 people with many of them coming from massacring a whole SWAT Team! He was brutal in his killing nature and showed no mercy! So the Golden Massacre Award proudly goes to Fenrir for his over 30 kills.

So while we cannot live back in the past, we can indeed remember it and share our memories with family and friends keeping those adventures alive and well. So now that we looked at old film locations from the past, I think it’s time for us to travel back into the world of B-Movie Comics and to their spooky Vault of Doomnation that is filled with chills and thrills and aims to scare with the terror it holds within. Not sure if you notice, but this Vault is super cold and the walls have slime and it looks like this message is etched into the stone “Remind Your Brave Readers That You Grade These Comics On A Scale Of 1 to 4 And You Are Looking For How Well The Comic Stays To The Source Material, Its Entertainment Value And Its Art And Story…The Have Been Warned!” weird I wonder what ghoul from this comic left this message for us. I think we better just all sit together and share in this comic that was a favorite of mine in my youth and avoid the monsters that await outside.

Vault Of Doomnation! # 1  ***
Released in 1986   Cover Price $1.70     B-Movie Comics   # 1 of 1

“Zombi” in a graveyard a grisly murder has taken place and the grave of John Smith has now open and appears like it was opened from the inside.  Around the grave, two bodies are found that have been murdered. Jenell Adams is one of the investigating officers, and she and the cemetery caretaker go to look up the history of John Smith, as across town on the stormy night a Zombie is roaming around and kills the mayor and his wife. After this second murder, the Commissioner takes her off the case and Janell’s mind is working over time as she uncovered that John Smith was a fake name and the young man in the grave is an unknown person. And after another murder, Janell notices that many of the victims are wearing a strange ring with a lightning bolt on it and finds that it’s the symbol of an occult and that the Commissioner is in fact a member of it and that the zombie was in fact the son of two of the occults victims and he has come back from the gave for revenge! “Valentine’s Day” is the story of Nick Wheeler who is a playboy who has married rich older woman Ellen Hayes as he thinks she will die soon and he will get all her estate. Nick is annoyed when the older woman does not die fast enough from old age as he wants to be with a younger woman named Liz and needs the money to do so and his wife to be out of the way. After pushing her down the stairs Ellen dies and Nick is able to be with Liz…but love never dies as Ellen returns from the dead and wants what’s hers and that’s Nick’s heart! “Something Evil” is about a family who’s TV grows and evolves and becomes a living gross ooze life form that attacks the family and the world with monsters and characters from TV and Movies that are playing on the stations. In the end, the world is over run by the gross TV goo and a TV is born from the goo. Our final story is “That’s My Boy” and is about a father and a hired private investigator find the house of his estranged wife and have the goal to get his son back, but soon they find the wife had killed the son who now returns from the dead in order to tell his dad he loves him and to avenge is death by killing his own mother.

The Vault Of Doomnation is a horror anthology comic that I feel is often overlooked by Horror Comic readers who often just write it off as a generic independent comic that is found in the cheap bins at comic stores and conventions for a $1.00 or less, and while this comic is not ground breaking or blood chilling scary, it is a good classic style horror comic that is filled with four creepy tales that mostly deal with the dead coming back to get revenge on the living. The first tale Zombi seems like it might have been inspired by the 1986 film Zombie Nightmare as it has a young man who was wronged coming back to get revenge for himself and his family. I should also note it oddly also feels like The Crow that was released in 1989 but done with way less backstory, could this story have inspired both The Crow and Zombie Nightmare…I doubt it. Valentine’s Day is also about a murdered victim returning back from the dead to get revenge, and this tale seems like it could have been right at home in an issue of The Vault Of Horror. Something Evil takes always the zombies and ads in a Goo that is created by a TV that torments a family and later takes over the world.  This one is a cool story but kind of feels out of place art-wise. The final story That’s My Boy brings back the undead and has a Dad having to find the body of his son who was murdered by his ex-wife who in turn is killed by the zombie son! This one as well could have been at home in an issue of Vault Of Horror or even Twisted Tales. Some of these stories have blood and violence with the first two stories bringing the most to the readers and the last two stories more play on fears and shocks. The art varies from cool independent comic style to more armature punk rock style doodles, with the best art for me being Paul Fricke who did the art in That’s My Boy and the weakest for me is Scott Barker who did the art for Something Evil. My favorite monster of this issue is the zombie of Ellen Hayes the old bride who was murdered as she reminds me of the zombie bride from The Video Dead. The cover for this comic is very cool and is eye catching for independent horror comic readers and over all this is a fun comic with cool classic horror stories that will entertain those looking for a spooky good time. Vault Of Doomnation might not be a must own comic for readers, but is one that I think fans should read. Check out some of the art from this comic below and see some of the horrors that await you in this Vault.

Vault Of Doomnation # 1 is one of those comics that really does make me think back to my youngers days and shopping at the local comic shops like Bookie Parlor and Mavericks and how amazing it was to uncover Horror Comics and Superhero Comics that I have never heard of and buying them to rush home to read in my room or in the living room next to the fireplace. But again, you can’t live in the past, and I still very much enjoy going to a local comic shop like Bell, Book And Comic and finding new comics that I have never heard of. For our next update we are leaving the dusty old box of Horror Comics and looking at another character that is overlooked and underused by DC Comics, Jonni Thunder! So until next time, read a Horror Comic or three, watch a horror movie or two, make your own shot on video movie and as always support your local Horror host! So see you next time as we go on a case with DC Comics most underused detective!

The Old Time Defenders Of The Planet Earth

When the world thinks of super hero teams, many come to mind like The Avengers, Justice League of America, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Teen Titans, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and of course at the top of that list are the Defenders of the Earth, right? Okay, I know most of you have never heard of them or if you have, I am sure you have forgotten about them until now. So let me tell you who the Defenders of the Earth are, and I can guarantee that you will know most the names mentioned. King Features Syndicate made comic strips, and some of their most popular ones were Flash Gordon, The Phantom and Mandrake The Magician.  In 1986 they decided that it would be a great time for them to put these characters together in a cartoon that would spin off into toys, video games and comics. Flash Gordon of course is the star football player who got lost in space and became a hero when he went up against the evil Ming The Merciless.  He was so popular that the character had toys, film serials and films made about him.  He was created in 1934. The Phantom was created in 1936 and is a costumed crime fighter in Africa.  His costume is a purple skintight body suit that covers most of his skin besides his face, he also wears a small mask that covers his eyes making them seem solid white. His costume set a standard in super hero history. Mandrake The Magician was created in 1934 and is a crime fighting magician who used his tricks to bust gangsters and other forms of low life. Throw in Mandrake’s assistant Lothar and all or their kids, and you have The Defenders of the Earth! And guess what, Star Comics did a four issue run about this “amazing” team and in this blog entry we will be taking a look at them.

The 1986 cartoon was an action adventure series that ran for 1 season but had 65 episodes. The cartoon’s plot was that Ming The Merciless had used up his home planet of Mongo and has set his sight on Earth in the year 2015 with the help of ice robot Garax and his ice robot men. Flash Gordon’s wife Dale Arden has been kidnapped and killed leaving Gordon mad with his teenage son Rick Gordon goes to Earth to protect it from harm and along the way they team with The Phantom and his daughter Jebba Walker, Mandrake and his adopted son Kshin, Mandrake’s strong and loyal assistant Lothar and his son L.J and all come together to forum The Defenders of the Earth.  The group’s headquarters also has a super computer that has the sprit of Flash’s dead wife inside called Dynak-X that helps them on the way. The cartoon was on when I was a youth, and while I watched it I never found it to be as exciting as other cartoons based on super heroes. The Phantom was the only one in the series that I was a fan of, and I am sure most of that came from his kick ass ways.  Plus it’s funny how they changed the character to give him super powers when he chanted, this changed who and what the Phantom really is from a normal guy trying to do good in an area that’s plagued with crime. While I was a fan of Flash Gordon thanks mostly to the live action 1979 film that had the rocking music by Queen, he was just not a drawing power to get me to tune in every episode. As for Mandrake, I had no clue to who he was, and while a classic character, he just didn’t make a fan out of me.  Plus adding a bunch of teenagers and kids is a sure way to lose me in any series. And to spice things up, Ming was not the only bad guy in the series but most of the others did not have the evil nature like him making them feel like filler, only there to fill up time and episodes. Again, the cartoon was not bad, it just did not, in my opinion, have that special something that made me want to catch every episode and draw me into buying the other products of the show. BCI and now Mill Creek has released the series on DVD so if you were a fan of the show, the characters or want to check it out, it is out there.

The show’s toy line was put out by Galoob in 1986, and the figures had a dial on their backs that when twisted made them perform fighting action and came with a weapon. The line consisted of Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake The Magician, Lothar, Ming The Merciless and Garax. Not only could fans get the figures but also vehicles were made such as Defenders’ Claw Copter, Phantom’s Skull Copter, Flash Sword Ship, Garax Sword Ship and Ming’s Serpent Monster Mongor. The figures were not bad, and while I only had two I found them to be fun and for the most part well made toys.  My only issue with them is that the joints seemed to become very loose on one of the ones I owned. The first figure I ever got was The Phantom, and I got him at Odd Lots brand new for $3.00.  A year later I got Flash Gordon at a garage sale for under a dollar. One summer when we were moving from Waynesville to Kettering, we stayed at my aunt’s house while she and her family went to Greece and we waited for our house to be cleared to move in.  Behind their house was some small woods, and one day I went back there to check them out and found a lot of broken toys behind there.  I was older at the time like 16 or 17 and laughed as I found many broken Power Rangers that were missing arms and legs, and found a few that seemed to have been set on fire and this brought back memories of The 4^th of July.  But one thing caught my eye as I saw a broken Flash Gordon who was missing his legs and arms and was faded from the sun.  I took the torso and later made it into a wheel chair bound Captain Pike (Star Trek) style figure for the fun of it.  Yeah, I had a sick sense of humor.

Like all cartoons of this time, more merchandise came out besides the action figures that included lunch boxes, VHS tapes. kids books and of course a game for Commodore 64. When all this came out in 1986, I could not think of one kid I knew who owned anything Defenders of the Earth, or if they did no one talked about it or brought it around the school yard. I think one of the things that worked against this cartoon and its products was the fact the heroes were too dated for many kids to get behind. 

So now that you know who and what Defenders of the Earth is all about, are you ready to look at Star Comics 4 issue run? Oh and guess who helped write issue one, the one and only Stan Lee! While Lee has done a lot for the comic industry, I also feel that he takes credit for a lot of things he didn’t or had really very little to do with, but with that said ya still got to respect the guy for all he has done.  So here is to you, Stan The Man Lee! Oh and after our look at Defenders I thought a cool little bonus review was due for all you great readers out there! I want to remind everyone that I grade these comics on a standard 1-4 Star scale and look for entertainment value, art, story and how true the comic is to its source material.

Defenders of the Earth # 1  ***
Released in 1987   Cover Price .75   Star Comics   #1 of 4

 Flash Gordon crashes on Earth at the home of Mandrake The Magician, his adopted asian son Kshin and strong as an ox assistant Lothar and his son L.J.  Gordon is knocked out from the crash, and Mandrake uses his magical power to hide Flash from a race of ice robots lead by Garax who have been sent by the evil Ming The Merciless. When Flash comes to, he tells Mandrake that Ming has kidnapped his wife and son and is coming to Earth to take it over and that they must stop him! Flash, Mandrake and Lothar go to the jungles of Africa and meet The Phantom and his daughter Jebba Walker and they join the group to save Flash’s family and to stop Ming. The kids are left on Earth as the heroes head to Mongo. Dale Arden and son Rick Gordon are captive.  Rick escapes with the help of a strange creature named Zuffy, but her son’s escape leads to Ming torturing and killing Dale.  When the heroes get there they save Rick, and Flash learns of his wife’s death.  Before they can capture Ming, he and his son Kro-Tan escape and land on Earth and make a base in the Arctic. Zuffy finds a crystal and gives it to Flash that holds his wife’s spirit. With Ming loose and on Earth and to avenge the death of Dale our heroes Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake The Magician and Lothar decide to stay as a team called The Defenders of the Earth!

I must say this is a great first issue and did a great job of keeping old heroes exciting for the younger reading crowd.  I am sure that this was mostly thanks to Stan Lee who wrote this issue, and while I hate to say it, Lee does have a way to make characters interesting to kids. The plot is the set up of how the team Defenders of the Earth came together and was a way to add some major drama with the death of Dale Arden.  I am sure that for long time Gordon fans it was shocking to see a beloved character killed off in a kids comic/cartoon. Mandrake The Magician is the only one that in the comic still comes off dated, and they try so hard to get him over in this issue, even with being dated I found myself liking him. The Phantom is clearly the star of the comic and it’s so obvious that Star Comics knew that he would be the one kids would flock to. The big change for The Phantom is the fact they gave him supernatural powers that he gets from the jungle.  I am sure they did this in order to spice him up and make him appealing to kids who like heros with power like Spider-Man and Captain America. Lothar seems like a waste and really isn’t given anything to do in this issue besides be a body and an extra hero for the new team. The kids of the heroes are a waste and are very much not needed and seem to be thrown in just to make it so young readers can identify with them.  If they have more time in the following issue it could be what takes me out of the series. Like any good 80’s cartoon/comic there is a little sidekick, that while annoying always seems to be there and fall ass backwards into saving the day, and in this series it’s Zuffy, a strange tiny purple alien with a mop top hair style who can’t speak but sure as hell get his message across via movements. This issue also does a good job of making Ming the Merciless come off as a complete and total evil S.O.B and does so as he murders Dale and then comes to Earth to kill us all! Good work on keeping this close to the cartoon and good work with the art that is clearly done by some of Marvel’s top artists.  The cover is super eye catching. Can’t wait to see how issue 2 is! 

Defenders of the Earth # 2  **1/2
Released in 1987   Cover Price .75   Star Comics   #2 of 4

The Defenders of the Earth need a base, and Mandrake’s mansion just wont do.  So Flash calls in an alien race called the Cryl lead by Morbius to help build a headquarters, and the crystal with Dale’s soul in it has been put into a super computer made by Rick called Dynak-X. Ming The Merciless has picked up on the area of the base and sends out Garax and his men to ambush the Cryl and kill all of the Defenders of the Earth. Flash goes up to meet his friends and takes his place in the battle as the ambush happens.  Mandrake uses his magic to make an illusion to save his friends as Kshin and Zuffy find an opening in the side of a volcano near the mansion. After outsmarting Garax and his men, The Defenders of the Earth and the Cryl turn the volcano into their new base, and use the lava to power it. Ming is very upset and sends Garax and his men to bomb the Mansion and everything around it, and as they do so, the blasts trap the Defenders inside.  With the help of Dynak-X and a well placed bomb by The Phantom, it appears as if they all die and Ming basks in his winning glory. But this of course just gives them more time to come up with a plan to bring down Ming once and for all.

This second issue is average and seems to be way more talkie than issue one.  It doesn’t keep the total action pace up, giving moments that drag. The issue’s plot is just that The Defenders need a base and while trying to build it they come under attack. The Phantom in this issue is pushed more to the back, and Flash Gordon seems to be more of the focus.  Once more Mandrake is used a lot and does the same tricks as he did in issue 1. Lothar again is wasted and just is filler, but this issue also has the teens and kids as more of a major part of the plot.  While most are okay, Kshin is an annoying little turd who I can tell is going to be a character I will hate. One thing they did in this issue is play up on the hurt and sorrow that Flash and Rick are feeling about losing Dale.  This aspect adds some deep drama that is pretty shocking for a kids comic. This issue also builds up that Kro-Tan is plotting to over throw his father and be the new ruler of Mongo and every other planet they conquer.  I hope this subplot goes somewhere and is played out. The comic’s action is spaceship battles and not nearly as cool as hand to hand. The art and cover is great again and both very much eye catching.  The plot is as stated before very average. Let’s see if issue 3 is any better. 

Defenders of the Earth # 3  ***
Released in 1987   Cover Price .75   Star Comics   #3 of 4

Everyone is trying to make the volcano hideout feel like home, and Jebba along with The Phantom have made their own little African jungle in one of the caves. But in Africa the Bandar tribe is under attack from Kurt Walker (The Phantom’s brother) and two of his goons.  Kurt is trashing The Phantom and claims he should be their ruler, and when they refuse him and his men storm off. Kurt makes the mistake of telling the goons where the tribe hide their jewels and gold and is attacked and thrown from a bridge by those who now want to rob the tribe.  The water carries him to a cave where he finds a strange suit and hood, and after putting them on he becomes a weather controlling wizard/demon named N’Dama! N’Dama returns to the tribe and freezes his two goon friends to death ushering in a huge snow storm with a threat to the tribe to take him as his ruler or die.  The Phantom and Jebba rush to their jungle home, and The Phantom must come face to face with his brother who is now more demon than brother.  In the end The Phantom watches as his brother is consumed in fire caused by his own new power, and Ming has created Frost Men who he is ready to unleash on Earth.

This is back to being a good solid issue and goes back to the meat and potato of an action comic.  This issue’s main focus is The Phantom and his daughter Jebba returning home to take on a family member who is corrupted with extreme power. The action of the comic is when The Phantom goes toe to toe with N’Dama, and while not a slugfest like a Spider-Man vs. Kraven The Hunter fight it still makes for the most exciting part of the issue. This also makes for most the drama as it’s brother vs. brother and family issues come out. Another plot that seems to be starting up is the tension between Rick Gordon and Jebba Walker who both seem to be crushing on each other but neither making a move. It also surprises me that Rick, Jebba nor L.J. get on my nerves given my track record when it comes to unnecessary teens and kids being in media for no reason. I still do however dislike Kshin and thank God he gets very little panel time in this issue. It’s clear that with this issue Star Comics knew that doing a full issue around the most popular member of the team, The Phantom, would drive up sales with kids.  I am not sure how well this plan worked but it did make this now 32 year old reader happy. Another nice thing to see is that Ming nor Garax are the main bad guys, and this gives a breath of fresh air to the series and makes it so the two main villains aren’t played out. This one also has it all: a good plot, great art and an eye catching cover, and this one is what action kids comics should be like! Let’s see how the 4^th and final issue holds up.

Defenders of the Earth # 4 **1/2
Released in 1987   Cover Price $1.00   Star Comics   #4 of 4

Mandrake thinks it’s time that he starts to teach Kshin the art of being a master magician and takes him to a special room in the now destroyed Mansion. Mandrake tells his young son of how he gained the magic that involved the death of his parents via an avalanche and being rescued by a group of magical monks. But in another dimension Dr. Dark, an evil magician, is deep in thought of revenge upon the one who trapped him there :Mandrake.  Ming picks up on the evil power he has and frees him to Earth,  Ming tells his new ally that Mandrake and all The Defenders of Earth are dead, and Dr. Dark busts his bubble with the fact they are not! Dr. Dark goes to the mansion and has a magic fight against Mandrake, as Rick and Jebba see some of Ming’s Frost Men at a rock concert, and it’s shown Jebba can read minds. Mandrake is whooping up on Dr. Dark until the evil one uses Kshin as bait and leads to Mandrake’s life ending when nearby candles burn out.  Dr. Dark leaves to get his army to team with Ming’s to battle the Earth as Kshin uses all he has learned to save his dad. In the end The Defenders of Earth know that War is coming against both Ming’s Frost Men and Dr. Darks evil servants.

Star Comics has done it again, much like Inhumanoids this series ends in the middle of a storyline, making you wonder what was to happen during this major war.  This makes me very annoyed with Marvel for pulling the plug on series from Star that should have played through. This issue’s main focus is Mandrake and his son Kshin as he teaches his son magic.  Father and son must team to undo what their main nemesis Dr. Dark has set in motion. The magic battle reminded me a lot of Dr. Strange and for the most part I am okay with that. Again it was nice to see a new bad guy (Dr. Dark) who unlike N’Dama is teaming with Ming to rule the Earth.  Plus Dark’s Phantom of the Opera face is pretty sweet. Flash Gordon and The Phantom take the backseat in this issue as Mandrake takes the wheel and Lothar has a little more panel time then normal. I also like the way this issue builds up that Ming will turn on Dr. Dark to gain his raw power. Over all this issue was an average romp that was a fun read but a terrible way to end a series.  Worse, it leaves you hanging for an issue 5 that never came.

The Defenders of the Earth Star Comic series was a good fun adventure comic that despite flaws and some annoying characters still held entertainment value. As a youth I more then likely would have judged this comic a little harder for the lack of major action and way too much dialogue, but now I can see that the comic was trying to build up a story and flesh out the characters. I find this 4 issue run to be thus far some of Stars better written stuff, but the lack of respect that Marvel gave us the readers by just ending the series is very fitting for a company who tries to over charge for issues nowadays. Plus it’s nice to see that while it follows the source martial, this series also created its own, with the only major change coming from Ming’s daughter being MIA. If you like any of the characters on the team, loved the cartoon or love Star Comics then I would say check this series out.

As an add-on bonus, I am going to be looking at a comic that was a free give away on FREE COMIC BOOK DAY 2010, and cost me a dollar at The Gem City Comic Con based on Michigan horror host Wolfman Mac and his Chiller Drive-In! Chiller Drive-In (formerly Nightmare Sinema) hit TV airwaves in 2007 on public access and became such a hit that by 2009 it had been shown on RTV, a national station. Wolfman Mac is a werewolf from the 1930’s who while being chased by angry villagers stumbled onto an abandoned drive-in theater, and being a lover of bad cheesy flicks, he decided that it would be a good idea to re-open the drive-in once more. Wolfman Mac is an all around good guy (or is that creature?) who seems to worry about the viewers and tries to stop others from bad ideas.  He is a great classic style host who seems to be very much kid friendly. He is joined by Boney Bob, a 1920’s actor who died in order to avoid taxes.  In the 30’s he spent time back in Hollywood as a skeleton extra on the set of horror films, but when work dried up he was downgraded to school room skeleton at a local college.  He left the job and hid out at that same drive-in that Wolfman Mac stumbled on. Boney and Mac are business partners and now spend time rebuilding and running the drive-in. Boney, while a good skeleton, is a con man and will do anything to get money. The show also has many other characters that pop in that include Son of Froggy, Trog a robot, Professor M. Balmer, Undead 50’s Sex Kitten Rebulla, Scarlett LeFever Wolfman Mac’s dead girlfriend and many more great silly off the wall characters. Fans of horror hosts of the 70’s and 80’s will really dig the style and show of Wolfman Mac. 

I have never gotten to meet Wolfman Mac in person but have spoken to him via Facebook, and he seems like a werewolf who loves his craft. While at Horrorhound Weekend in March 2011, Baron Von Porkchop and I were able to meet Trog and The Son of Froggy from Chiller Drive-In and that was a fun time to be had by all! And we then ran into Son of Froggy again at Cinema Wasteland in October 2011 during “A. Ghastlee Night at the Movies”. That’s one thing I will say about all my horror host friends is that they are more like family.  They understand and get The Baron and I, who are both goofy horror freaks. Baron has it rougher then me being a ghoul from the early 1800’s who I dug up in late December 2010.  He is way out of touch with most normal folks. But here are a few pictures I took of Baron along side cast members of Chiller Drive-In. 

So now that you know a little about Wolfman Mac & Boney Bob, let’s take a look at this comic book version of the show. Remember I am going to grade this comic on a standard one to four star rating.  I am going to be grading the story, the art, how true it was to the source martial it was based on and its entertainment value. So let’s see if this chills my blood!

Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In # 0  ***
Released in 2010   Cover Price Free   Chiller Drive-In Comics   #0

 “Zombies Gone NAG” All the zombies that work for Wolfman Mac and Boney Bob at the Chiller Drive-In have gone on strike and have formed a Union called N.A.G. (The National Association of Ghouls) and have demands before they get back to work that include Brain Breaks and an extra half an hour for lunch.  They use a Gravedigger to work on the deal that Wolfman Mac agrees to and rolls into the issue’s main story called “Return From The Grave.”  At a funeral a vampire pops out of his coffin and attacks all who are attending and is about to feed but before he can T. Stone McAllister, Monster Hunter, comes and saves the day. Back at the Chiller Drive-In all the Zombies are on break and Wolfman Mac is down because no work is getting done. And so ends Issue 0 for now!

 This is a nice free little comic that was a nice way to promote the show and the artist involved, and I would have loved to have had this comic to give out when I worked FREE COMIC DAY at Mavericks. The downside is that this is a very quick read and the main story seems very rushed and not as big of a build up as one would have wanted. The Chiller Drive-In parts are fun and really cartoonish and is clearly geared towards young readers as it even has an anti-smoking spot. The only two characters used in this issue is Mac and Boney Bob, and this gives it a nice feel, like part of the show’s universe. The art in both The Wolfman Mac and Return From The Grave is well done, and sticking close to the source material this is a nice fun very quick read that is worth a check out for fans of Wolfman Mac and Horror Hosts. This issue also teases a full issue # 1 in the summer of 2010, and it seems that this has not happened.  That’s a bummer; I feel that this could have been a fun read for those of us that enjoy this type of book.

While we are on the subject of werewolves, this would be a perfect time for me to talk about the first no budget film I ever directed called Werewolf of Ohio.  After high school I worked as a bagger for Kroger in the now shut down Van Buren Shopping Center and made lots of great friends like Sarah Boian, Jason Shivadecker and Jason Gilmore, not to mention I worked with already friends of mine Josh Weinberg and Garrison Kane.  At my work is where the legend of The Wolf Man of Ohio began! While working at Kroger at Halloween time we got in a shipment of Universal Monsters Halloween masks, and I was drooling looking at them, in particular The Wolf Man one due to the fact that it is one of my favorite movies of all time. I went around all day talking about how I could make a movie based around that mask, and even spouted some nonsense about putting The Wolf Man in a “Suicide 3” movie if we made it.  After hours of hearing me talk about the film ideas I had for that mask, the cashiers and baggers did something super cool when they bought me the mask and told me to make some movie magic.  And that’s what I set out to do with Josh Weinberg who had left Kroger at this point and was working for Click Camera who loaned him a VHS Camcorder! 

In late 1999 Josh and I, armed with our on loan camera from Click and our werewolf Halloween mask, set out in his beat up stick shift truck and hit the roads thinking of what my new Wolf Man film could be about, and while driving the story just popped into my head! Josh would play a young man who is on a quest to hunt down The Wolf Man (played by me), a werewolf who terrorizes Waynesville, Ohio and killed his parents and younger sister some years back.  Now he, alongside a camera man (originally cast as Kevin Kinsley but turned out to be played by Brandon Womeldorff), sets out to get evidence that the beast is real and to document its death at the hands of Josh.  We loved the idea and went out to film this twisted sad tale.  We drove around during and after a huge rain storm and filmed moments after the rain stopped around Bellbrook and Kettering (State Farm Park again).  It was just the two of us.  I would act as the Camera Man and Josh would talk about his anger, sadness and need for revenge.  When The Wolf Man was on screen, Josh would run camera. The Wolf Man wore a hood and robe and walked around in daylight and night, making this beast a bigger danger then most werewolf legends. We even drove to Waynesville to film the town’s sign just to add that “real” feel of this “found footage” film. We filmed the climax at State Farm Park and filmed at night as Josh spots The Wolf Man who in turn chases him and the camera cuts off ending the film, or so we thought. After looking at the film we found some scenes just didn’t fit like a talk show interview with Josh that just came off to goofy. Some just were shot bad like the ending were Josh didn’t get The Wolf Man chasing him in one frame making the film’s total runtime about six minutes. I was really disappointed in the film and knew we had to film more to save the film from being a total waste, but the film did fall onto the back burner for almost two full years. By the time I got back to the film I had worked on a few more films and was ready to “save” this film from the trash pile, so I sat down and watched the footage and wrote out a script to finish the film out, Josh was back on board, and Kevin Kinsley was going to step into the role of The Camera Man making it easier for The Wolf Man to interact with them.  In 2001 we started the process of wrapping up the film. Things were going smoothly, and then Kevin was fired for over sleeping on the first day of shooting and Brandon Womeldorff stepped into the part and proved to be a better choice as he also offered ideas and angles. The second part of the film has Josh waking up after the attack covered with blood (yep more ketchup) and buying himself a gun and once more rants and tries to kill The Wolf Man who now wears a red flannel. After the last day of filming, it was rushed into editing at Fairmont High School and Brandon had it cut and ready in one sitting! It then was packaged and ready to be sold at our first horror convention called Fright Vision. While the film sold like hotcakes on VHS and has even gotten a cult following, I have always loved the film for being my own first film but also always find flaws in it after every viewing. I also found that The Wolf Man is my favorite character I have ever played, and one day hope to step into the mask for a new film. The film was followed by a sequel and has made it to DVD in a way but that’s for another update.

Here are some fun facts about Werewolf Of Ohio:  Local filmmaker Andy Copp once wrote about Werewolf of Ohio in the local paper as low budget films/makers you should keep an eye on. Chris Seaver of Low Budget Pictures (LBP) put The Wolf Man in his film “Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape”. The original title of the film was Wolf Man of Ohio.  Werewolf of Ohio is the second best selling VHS release in Independent B Movie history.  At a number of conventions horror host icon Dr. Creep of Shock Theatre and New Shock Theater helped push the product to buyers,  Centerfold frontman Patrick Neeley did the end theme to the film, and its title was “An American Werewolf in Dayton. The film’s original release had random girls running and a number of other girls in the deleted scenes they were added as filler from stock footage found at Fairmont High School. My brother Bryan once said Ohio should use Werewolf Of Ohio as a travel video, due to all the scenery shots and drive scenes. I hope you enjoyed this look at my “classic” film! Below is the master tape with the original title.

Well, we have Defended the Earth for 4 issues along side Flash Gordon and friend,s and we took a quick pit stop at the Chiller Drive-In to visit Wolfman Mac and took a look back at some fun young moments of my life and told a tale of the Werewolf of Ohio.  So what is next, you ask.  Next update we will take a look at an epic action star who had a cartoon and toy line and lead a group of Karate fighters.  This 4 issue series from Star Comics is CHUCK NORRIS AND THE KARATE COMMANDOS! So I will see you then.

The Wonderful World of Warlock Home Video

While I decide about the next update, Crystar or horror video games, let’s take a look at a filmmaker friend of mine.  Chris Seaver is a low budget filmmaker from Rochester New York who has not only been a friend of mine for over 11 years but is also one of the people who inspired me to keep making films.  I first heard about Chris Seaver way back in 2001 when my brother Bryan and Andy Copp went to a horror film convention.  While there they met a low/no budget film maker named Chris Seaver who sold his films on VHS.  So my brother, being the cool guy he is, bought me one of the films knowing that I love watching a good shot on video film as well as making one. He returned home with many cool things for me that included a VHS of a film called “Friday The 13^th Halloween Night” by a company called LBP (Low Budget Pictures).  The film was about a group of kids having a Halloween party as Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13^th) and Michael Myers (Halloween) murder and battle it out to see who is king of the slaughter, only for both to be outsmarted by the host of the party who sends them both to Hell.  The film was packed with over the top acting and some fun backyard gore effects, and I found myself becoming a fan of this silly little flick and showing it to friends like Josh Weinberg, Brandon Womeldorff and Jason Gilmore, telling them this is the fun kind of film we should be making. After a few weeks, I found the director Chris Seaver’s email address on his company’s website and wrote to him telling him how much I enjoyed his film.  Then told him about the films I had directed Werewolf of Ohio 1-2 never expecting much back besides a generic “oh thanks, here are some other films I made you should buy em,” but what I got back instead was a down to earth response taking the time to thank me for watching it and mostly talking about my films and how he would like to see them.  After chatting via email for months, a horror convention called Fright Vision was coming close to town and Seaver was going to be there and told me that my crew of guys (Independent B Movie) should go and sell some of our films.  We all talked about it as a group and decided it was a great idea and hurried and made VHS copies of our films Teen Suicide, Suicide 2, Twisted Batman, Werewolf of Ohio and Werewolf of Ohio 2, and lucky for us Andy Copp, my brother and Dr. Creep had got a table to sell hard to find films and Shock Theater merchandise and shared a small section with us.  Our crew was Dave Wean, Sarah Yates and myself, and we had a blast meeting celebs like David Carradine, Donald Shanks, Bill Chapman, Lilith Stabbs and Robert Z’Dar, but most important to me was the time I got to hang out with Seaver who bought copies of my films and spent the weekend talking about productions and pushing me to make more films. The weekend was a bust for sales but the experience was amazing, and Seaver’s words that weekend made him a friend for life.  Seaver and I remain friends to this day, and I still am a fan of his work.

The main reason for this update is to showcase Seaver’s new company WARLOCK HOME VIDEO, but in order to do that we must start with his roots at Low Budget Pictures or LBP as fans call it.

Chris Seaver began making films at the tender age of seven when he begged his parents for a camcorder for Christmas ’84 and quickly began making mini epic films with friends. Low Budget Pictures officially began in 1991 with the film Commando Kids, and grew into a cult film company in no time with films like Anal Paprika, Scrotal Vengeance, Mulva Zombie Asskicker, Flilthy Mcnasty, and From Almost Night Till Almost Day. LBP became so popular that companies like Tempe Home Video and SRS Cinema started to pick up and release titles that were coming out.  LBP was running like a well oiled machine and had many films released every year that entertained with in your face humor and over the top characters. But like all good rides this zany film company came to an end in 2011 when Seaver decided it was time to walk away and start fresh, and boy did he! When speaking to Seaver I found out that is favorite film from the LBP years was Geek War, a film about a high priced VHS tape at a comic book shop that starts a war between geeks who must own it and impress a local hot chick. This film is closely followed by The Heather and Puggly series that follows two twisted sisters who fight the devil among other baddies. Some of my favorite films from the company include Deathbone, a funny barbarian spoof film that combines all the silly elements of Conan, Deathstalker and Beastmaster.  I also like Scrotal Vengeance, a vampire film about Razor McBleed and an unlikely vampire hunter, and Carnage For The Destroyer, a film about a viking rock god coming back to kill a group of friends at a haunted house. This small write up for LBP could not give this company the epic amount of time I could spend talking about them but for now it will have to do, cause we have a Reading Rainbow date with a Warlock!

But before we meet The Warlock, we should take a few moments and talk about LBP’s most iconic character and all around #1 primate that all the chicks dig, Teen Ape! Teen Ape is a walking talking ape man, who has the attitude of a 70’s pimp and the foul mouth of a docked sailer.  He not only fights crime but also has time to make it with the ladies and even smack them around a little. Anal Paprika 2 was his first full film appearance, and he was more toned down and was more of a breakdancing hero who didn’t even talk.  But what many fans may not know is that in 1991 Teen Ape made his first ever appearance in a short film called “I Was A Teenage Ape” that is locked in the vaults of LBP and has not been seen by the fans and never will! In his many film adventures Teen Ape has fought vampires, goblins, zombies, demons and even Mulva in a sword fight! Teen Ape’s final public fim appearance was in 2007 in the film Wet Heat where he is sent in to save the president of show business from a post apocalyptic gang of weirdos, but his real final flick was one produced by Troma in 2009 that is sitting in their vault called “Teen Ape vs. The Monster Nazi Apocalypse” in which Teen Ape teams with many more LBP favorite characters as the fight a resurrected Hitler and his new army. But good news for Teen Ape fans like me, Seaver has talked about doing a new film that’s 100% fan funded called “Teen Ape: Balls Deep.”  So if you’re looking at wanting to help Teen Ape come back to your home TV screens then you should help donate to the films budget at http://www.warlockhomevideo.com/projects.html.

Now it’s time to dive into the world of shot on video horror and flash back to walking down the horror aisle of your favorite video rental store checking out the amazing VHS cover art for films with titles like “Igor and The Lunatics”, “Don’t Look in The Basement” and “The Town That Dreaded Sundown” and then reading the back of the boxes with descriptions telling you just how epic the film you could be renting is. Nothing can take away those memories of the horror section at places like K&L Video, Accent Video, West Coast Video and even Blockbuster and renting films on the weekend and watching them with friends or my brother and finding gems among laugh out loud turkeys. VHS Horror films will always have a special place in my heart.  Not only in my teens did I have one massive horror tape collection but I used to also have a yearly event called “Horror Movie Marathon” that had me and friends watching horror films all day and night! One of the first Marathons I ever held was at my parents basement (aka Independent B Movie Studios) and early that morning Brandon Womeldorff and I drove around to second hand media stores Replay Media and Second Time Around and bought tons of cheesy horror films on VHS stuff like Demonoid Messenger Of Death, Terror on Tour, Devils Gift, Christmas Evil to name a few and then bought tons of potato chips, cookies and pop and invited over Matt Hoffman, Josh Weinberg, Jason Gilmore and Dave Wean and we all sat up all night eating junk food and watching bad horror films, oh the good old days. No matter how much the world tries to tell me Netflix and streaming movies will never take the place of late night tape/dvd switching with a group of your closest friends. VHS holds a lot of magic for many people my age not only with rentals it also sparked the boom of shot on VHS horror films that swept the nation when camcorders became more available to the masses and falling into the hands of people who just wanted to make their own movies. While many were bad their was an equal amount that were fun watching experiences. And for those who long for the days of amazing shot on Video Horror films, one company has come to the rescue and unleashed the flood gates of retro and nostalgia VHS goodness and thats Warlock Home Video!

After the closing of LBP a little over a year went by and the Seaver camp was quite the fans had no news of a new Teen Ape, Bonejack or Deathbone adventure…all we got was quite time. Then in 2012 the TV screen lights shone as news of a new retro shot on video company was opening up (or is that back up?) and that the company was releasing titles both on DVD and VHS! At first a character called E.W Swackhammer appeared as the one time owner of Warlock who wanted to bring back the glory days of 80’s and 90’s shot on video films and into the hands of fans the world over, but he quickly went to the waste side as it was clear as day that this company was the brain child of Chris Seaver with the help of The Warlock (a hooded mastermind of the macabre) they set out for VHS domination! At launch they had amazing titles from the past like Death Metal Zombies, Evil Night and Amerikill and then also had some new retro style films with Death O’Lantern and Die-B-Que, and fans ate these titles up buying them on both VHS and DVD! Warlock traveled around the convention circuit and had films not only for sale but also screening, spreading their message. Many titles were to follow some new retro shot and many original old school flicks marking this companies spot in VHS collecting history. In 2013, they plan on not slowing down and when speaking to Seaver we got a little sneak peek at whats to come with titles like Phantom of the Grind House, Blood From A Minotaurs Skull, Sexsquatch 2, Death O Lantern 2, Dracula Vs Frankenstein and more retro titles are planned the coming years seem promising for fans of shot on video epics! Oh and one other thing I should say is that the cover art for Warlock releases are top notch and some amazing stuff, so make sure to take a look at them as well.

Before we take a look at the films released by Warlock, I had the chance to speak to The Warlock himself and ask five questions….and no more, for he is a busy man looking through the vaults filled with old VHS & Beta tapes and unused scripts, and trying to pick the best ones to bring to the fans. So with this in mind let’s call this “5 Questions With The Warlock” and begin shall we? 

Me: How Does it feel to be back, after Warlock’s long hiatus from distribution of films?

Warlock: After being unearthed from my crypt, I felt putrid, wretched and full of maggots. As for the release of the films it felt like bringing a former deceased lover back from the grave!

 Me: What are your three favorite films that have come out so far during Warlock’s rebirth?

Warlock: I cannot choose my favorite. It is like choosing your favorite way to die. They all are delightful. If I must choose I would have to say Die B Que because it was our earliest effort, Death O Lantern because it really captured the spirit of the season, and Sexsquatch because I am the star.

Me: So what do you think about this new interest in shot on video films and VHS collecting?

Warlock: I feel that VHS collecting is the most brutal of all hobbies. It is not for the weak at heart. Everything old becomes new again at some point in time.

Me: So what do you know of Teen Ape?

Warlock: I know that he is an enigma. A man of few words and all action. quite possibly the only mere mortal capable of being on the same level of brutality and carnage as the Warlock.

Me: What do you see in the future for Warlock? And can you give us any sneak peek of any upcoming titles?

Warlock: The Warlock does not divulge and secrets from his future. As far as future titles, keep up to date with upcoming releases at www.warlockhomevideo.com.

So after those brutal answers form the master of the macabre, The Warlock, let’s take a look at the films of Warlock Home Video! I will give each film’s plot a quick write up, tell you a little about the killer, compare it to some other films and tell you the director. So let’s get ready to dive into the wild world of shot on video films!

Evil Night (1994)

Jimmy is a geek who is being picked on by the cool kids led by Peter, who on the night of his big party plays a mean prank on Jimmy that leaves him humiliated and injured thanks mostly to Jennifer who is the bait and is the one who leads him to his head trauma.  Jimmy returns home and with his chem set decides to make a toxic drink that will make him slip into madness and make him ready to get REVENGE on all those who have made him the fool and the butt of jokes. But revenge does come with a price when your main target is as smart as you. The killer is Jimmy a crazed drugged up nerd who is wearing a long black rode and a giant smiling evil clown mask. Fans of films like Slaughter High, Horror High, Prom Night, Toxic Avenger and other films of nerds getting revenge will enjoy this film for the fun back yard splatter effects, over the top acting, and a clown masked killer.  Best Kill is the exploding cigarette that takes off the top of its victim’s head that then splats on the wall! Directed by Todd Jason Cook. 

Death Metal Zombies (1995)

A small town is being stalked by a serial killer wearing a Richard Nixon mask who is killing at random. Brad Masters is a metal head who is in a small band, has a hot blonde girlfriend Angel and is a super fan of the band Living Corpse who is doing a special one of a kind song give away on the radio.  Brad wins the contest and listens to the special song with a few of his friends.  The song has a message in it that turns them all into flesh eating zombies and are ruled by Living Corpse! Now Angel must find away to survive, find a way to save her friends and stop Living Corpse’s plan to destroy the world. The villains in this film are the zombies,Nixon Killer a masked madman who wears a suit and a Richard Nixon mask and Living Corpse a rock band who’s lead singer is some sort of demon. Fans of Toxic Zombies, Hard Rock Zombies and Red Neck Zombies should like this no budget zombie romp for a rocking metal soundtrack, great backyard gore effects, boobs, satanic band members, zombies and a masked killer make this one a fun watch for no budget fans. Best Kill in the movie has a guy get stabbed in the butt as he sits down then has a zombie punch through his chest. Directed by Todd Jason Cook. This is a Chris Seaver recommended film!

Amerikill (1999)

Woodbridge Valley is a small town that has a killer on the loose called Jester Face! A group of High School friends who are horror film fans and filmmakers are shocked by the killings, and these real life deaths are affecting the group’s next movie when lead actress Natalie starts to question if she should act and watch horror flicks.  And when Jester Face sets his sights on the group of friends, what is to come of them and the group’s next epic shot on video film? The killer in the film, Jester Face, is a white masked killer who wears a jester hat and a long black robe. Fans of Scream, Urban Legend, I Know What You Did Last Summer, My Bloody Valentine and other who’s the killer films should enjoy this flick for its quick wit characters, blazing punk/ska soundtrack, fun backyard gore effects and a fun plot. Best kill is a girl who falls face first into tree limbs while trying to escape the killer and pokes her eye out.  Directed by Chris LaMartina.

Death O’Lantern (1986/2012)

Sleepy Hollow has a legend about a pumpkin headed killer named Stingy Jack who must steal five more souls before Halloween night after he takes the life of a teen.  Phoebe, a horror fan and her friends from Sleepy Hollow High get the news and are amazed by the death and spend time talking of horror films and death.  As Jack claims more lives, Phoebe finds the truth of his legend and must stop him from freeing himself of his curse by killing six kids and being able to walk the Earth.  But will Phoebe and her horror club be able to stop this supernatural killer or will they just become one on the unlucky six?  The killer in the film is Stingy Jack, a unworldly killer with a pumpkinhead and robe. Fans of Sleep Hollow High, Pumpkinhead, Ernest Scared Stupid and Monster Squad will love this nice throw back film with a fun plot, great one liners, zany characters, top notch retro backyard effects and a cool killer. Best kill in the movie is when Jack rams a lit candle stick through the back of a guys head and it pops out his eye.  Directed by Rudy Bellafonte. This film is recommended by Chris Seaver and Myself!

Die-B-Que (1986/2012)

Party animals DJ and Rick are throwing a huge BBQ party and have invited all their friends over for some fun times. Moonbeam and her boyfriend Brody are deep in love and don’t really want to be at this get together.  When a sick rat takes a leak in the beer and on the meat at the cook out, the hosts and the rest of the party goers turn into flesh eating zombies! Will the lovebirds escape with their lives? Killers in the film are zombies and an infected rat. Fans of Marion Playhouse Theatre, Frankenstein Stalks and Dr. Freak Vamp Killa will enjoy this film for its on purpose bad acting, silly make up and gore effects and goofy plot. Best kill scene in the movie is when the party guests are infected and puke up nasty green goo and then all die only to return as zombies.  Directed by Jackson Furley. 

Happy Helladays (1987/2012)

The year is 1987, and 12 year old orphan Alistair is being raised at Omega Pi sorority house and is made fun of by the sisters for his weird appearance with huge pop bottle glasses, greasy slicked back hair, annoying voice and short stature. But things get out of hand on Christmas Eve when the sisters shove a slice of pizza in his face and then boo him off the stage at his Christmas recital. These actions drive the little creep over the edge and he decides that its time for revenge as murder is his answer to his bullying. How many PI sisters will live and will his mother Nikki be able to stop his rampage?  Killer Alistair is a short nerd kid with huge glasses and is wearing a Santa suit. Fans of Silent Night Deadly Night 2, Black Christmas, Christmas Evil and Santa’s Slay will enjoy this flick for its killer holiday theme, creepy weird killer in a Santa suit, funny dialogue, wicked backyard effects and fun soundtrack. Best kill of the movie is when the killer sings in a high pitch making the young woman he is tormenting bleed from her eyes, mouth, ears and nose and then puke up her insides.  Directed by Rudy Bellafonte. This film is recommended by Chris Seaver. 

Werewolf Of Ohio (1999)

Josh is a young man whose family has been killed by a werewolf called The Wolf Man causing Josh to become obsessed with getting revenge.  So he hires the help of a film student to follow him around and video tape his quest/  He also gets the help of The Wolf Hunter a man who kills werewolves for a living, the spirit of his dead sister who speaks to him via his mind and an all seeing gypsy who knows the secrets of the beast.  While the heroes search for the Wolf Man he spends his time killing townspeople, will Josh and friends be able to stop this blood thirsty monsters rampage or will they become just more victims?  The film’s baddie is The Wolfman, a werewolf who wears flannel and a robe who stays a wolf forever. Fans of Blair Witch Project, The Wolf Man, Silver Bullet and Werewolf will like this film for its classic looking werewolf mask, its found footage style flow, its backyard effects and its hammy acting. Best kill in the movie is when one of the lead characters has his guts ripped out by The Wolf Man. Directed by Matt Brassfield.

The Dingleberrys (1987/2012)

Phoebe and the Sleepy Hollow High Horror Club are at it again when some unknown object crashes to Earth.  Inside are four nasty little talking turd monsters who kill victims by pooing on them.  Phoebe and friends are not alone when they get the help of a intergalactic bounty hunter named Quasar who is armed with piss shooting pistols. Can they stop these stinky poo monsters or is the whole world going to be a toilet bowl for these nasty little critters? The monsters is the film are four poo monsters all with different looks that range from Woody Allen to a wise Chinese Master. Fans of Ghoulies, Critters, Munchies and Troll will love this film for its tiny puppet creatures, over the top plot, poop jokes, fun Ed Wood like sets and over the top deaths & acting. Best kill in the movies is when the four Dingleberrys attack a goof metal head in his kitchen and poo him up. Directed by Rudy Bellafonte. 

The Sadness (2006)

A young college girl finds the murdered body of her neighbor and sees the killer exit the house.  The next day she makes the mistake of talking about the killing on her two best friends collage radio show drawing the killer out to of hiding and slaughtering a path of brutal murders to silence them once and for all in the late night hollow hallways of the school. Oh did I mention he films the dead bodies of the females he murders and keeps the tape as a reminder of the act? Will the friends be able to survive the killers rage? The films killer is The Sadness, a tall man who wears all black, wears a red and black mask and a black wig. Fans of See No Evil, Halloween 2 and Cry Wolf will like this film for its creepy late night collage setting, solid backyard gore effects, cheesy acting, boyfriend & girlfriend drama and a 80’s style killer. Best kill in the movie is when The Sadness sneaks into a woman’s house wakes her up and stabs her in the bathtub, then video tapes the aftermath. Directed by Matt Brassfield. 

Sexsquatch (2012)

Joe is a young man who’s friends and family are throwing a lake party for so that he can loose his virginity and his dream girl Jennifer is his choice. But in the woods around the house lurks Stinkfist, a Sexsquatch from another world who has an appetite for butt rape and murder.  One by one the friends are dying & being raped but the party continues, until Joe and his remaining friends must have a showdown with one horny Stinkfist. Do they stand a chance? Will Joe get laid by Jennifer? And what surprise character joins in the final fight? The killer is Stinkfist a bigfoot like creature who is covered in brown fur and talks like a hip foul mouthed teen. Fans of Night of the Demon, Shriek of the Mutilated, Capture of Bigfoot and Bigfoot will love this movie for its fun characters, over the top sexual nature, returning characters from both Warlock and LBP films and gut wrenching gore. Best kill in the movie has Stinkfest rip the intestines out of a dude and chokes him with it.  Directed by Chris Seaver. This is the first official new Warlock film. 

An Evening With My Great Aunt Bedelia (1993/2012)

Edith is a small thrift store owner who finds out that her rich grandma has just passed away and the reading of her will is being held at the family house. When she arrives with her boyfriend, she finds that she is only left a book while her creepy Great Aunt Bedelia is left the money and the house, and when she meets the lover of her Grandma she learns that her Great Aunt is really a demon who feeds on human souls.  Now Edith must find the clues and power to put an end to Demon Bedelia once and for all. The films monster is Great Aunt Bedelia who is a hairy chested woman with curly black hair and a black dress who transforms into a demon when she needs to feed. Fans of films like Night of the Demons, Rabid Grannies and Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare will enjoy this film for its amazing soundtrack, fun backyard effects, demon killer, landmark sets and cheesy acting. Best kill in the film is when the Demon plays games with a young child then chases him home only to pop his eyes out! Directed by Tobe Lerone. 

Bloody Red Lips Of Blood (1989/2012)

Two lesbian vampires pick up girls at the local rock club and drain them of their blood. But they make the mistake when they kill the daughter of Professor Bartel who now is working on finding out who his child’s killer is when he don’t think the police are working fast enough. With the help of his daughter’s friend Amy they track down and want revenge on those who took a loved one away from them, but will they succeed or will they find out that revenge has a price? The film’s killers are Karen and Lisa who are vampire lovers who wear 80’s style outfits and have long sharp fangs! Fans of Titanic 2000, Embrace Of The Vampire and To Sleep With A Vampire will like this film for its lesbian vampire themes, bloody boobs, use of a NES, fun storyline, backyard gore and no budget acting. Best kill in the movie when one vampire bites her female victim in the shower. Directed by Nigel Cheeseball.

Warlock has a little something for all horror fans from zombies, slashers and vampires to demons, bigfoot and aliens making sure that fans of no budget shot on video horror have many baddies to choose from. This company has quickly became one of my favorite no budget companies, and I always look forward to new releases being added to the list. Plus it was an honor when they asked to release two of my older films Werewolf of Ohio and The Sadness both on VHS and DVD, and I hope more films of mine from the past to present will come out from this fun company. Not to mention the fact when Warlock rereleased Werewolf of Ohio convention Fright Night Film Fest who had booked Baron Von Porkchop all ready also added me as a director to the guest list! 

While I have been very productive on making the TV show Terrifying Tales of The Macabre, I have been behind on my film making.  In fact the last film I was making was called “It’s In The Crawlspace,” and a few production issues has set it back to the point of years being on the shelf.  The film started in 2009 and just as of late looks like it might see the light of day in 2013. So to keep myself still in the film making world I have set my sights on producing and have put money in such films as Filthy Mcnasty 4, Church of the Eyes, Depression The Movie, Babysitter Massacre, Return to Blood Fart Lake, Consumption of the Heart, Sexsquatch and even Wolf Hunter 2. Doing this helps keep my creative mind fresh and I get to see films of my friends like Henrique Couto, Chris Seaver, Andy Copp and Matt Hoffman come alive and makes me feel good helping these guys make art. I have been speaking about coming back and filming a few new films but only time will tell if this really happens, so keep your eye to this blog for any update on that.

I hope this entry found some of you wondering about Warlock Home Video, and I hope many of you will take the few extra moments and check out their website and maybe even order a DVD or two of these fun shot on video horror adventures.  While they are not Citizen Cane they sure as hell all deliver on a fun cheesy watch, until next time stay creepy my friends.

Marvel Smurfs

I was born on September 8^th 1979, and I was lucky to be a kid through both the 80’s and 90’s. Much like every kid from my generation, I loved toys, video games, horror films, Saturday Morning Cartoons, horror hosts, surgery breakfast cereal, pro wrestling and of course comic books. I grew up in a small town (Waynesville, Ohio) that was dubbed the antique capital, and from day one I was the strange kid who spent his time drawing demons, the rock band Kiss and Frankenstein’s Monster and never making the move on the girl of my dreams who just so happened to be good friends with my next door neighbor who at that time was basically my best friend. I know you’re all thinking wow what a wuss, but if you would have seen how beautiful this young lady was and how she could make your heart skip a beat you would understand why a oddball like me in my Ultimate Warrior or Alice Cooper shirt never made a move.

On Saturdays my mom would take my brother and I to the neighboring town to a store called Big Bear & Hearts and for grocery shopping/ The store was one half food (Big Bear) and the other half department store (Hearts). Cool things in this store included not only the Street Fighter II Arcade Machine but also the giant stuffed bear that was like your greeter. The toy department was magical in my eyes and was always packed with the newest G.I. Joe, Transformer, Battle Beast, WWF wrestler and every other new figures. If we were good we would get a toy and usually along with it a comic or a Mad or Cracked Magazine. I was always into The Incredible Hulk and Captain America and most of the time that’s what I would pick to go alongside my new Monster in My Pocket, G.I. Joe or whatever toy I was into that month. Then we would be off. After we checked out and would stop at the store’s snack bar for an Icee (Blue Berry or Coke) and sometimes a soft pretzel or nachos, we would get home in time to watch Commander USA’s Groovie Movies or sometimes Grandpa Munster host his Super Scary Saturday film on TBS.

Comic Books were a fun way to leave reality and to step into the boots of your favorite hero or villain, leaving behind all the annoying life drama just for the brief moments it took you to read the issue. DC had some great heroes like Superman, Batman, Swamp Thing, Wonder Woman and Flash. While they had some great issues and characters, I have always been a Marvel man due to amazing characters like Hulk, Captain America, Spider-Man, Man-Thing, Iron Man and Thor. Marvel also had great comics based on toylines like Transformers and G.I. Joe. Comic books have always been apart of my life thanks to my Mother who bought them for me, my older brother Bryan who read them to me when I was younger, my Uncle Thurman who gave me many of his older issues and my cousin Chris Jones who got me one of my first new Hulk issues off the newsstand when we has babysitting me.

Comics and other things from my youth made me more creative and lead to me to making my own comic books with such characters as Benny the Squirrel, Robo Raccoon, Fred The Mole, Mr. Emo and many more. Most of the comics I made were to amuse myself and sometimes my Mom and friends. But even without any real talent for drawing, my Mom and Dad would encourage me to keep up the good work. I was never really good at art so the hobby faded, but the creative bug stayed with me and lead me into the world of films and TV shows. To this day I am the proud owner of two small film companies, Independent B Movie and Bloodline Video, and have made such films as Werewolf of Ohio, The Sadness, Cocktober Blood, Bark at the Moon: Scars and am currently making the popular horror host show Terrifying Tales of the Macabre hosted by Baron Von Porkchop. So for all those people that were told comics will rot your brain, that’s in no way true…well maybe not completely true.

One off the wall brand that always peeked my interest even before I was in school was Star Comics, the kiddy branch of the mighty Marvel Comic juggernaut. They would make comics about popular cartoons or toy lines and were be a cheap way for parents to keep us youngsters happy till the next episode. One of the first times I discovered Star Comics was when I was really young and a cereal company gave away free issues with a mail-in. Oh the good old days of amazing and cheap prizes in your cereal! So this little blog is about re-living my youth, looking back at Star Comics, Topps Comics and other wonderful Marvel Comics that have always peeked my interest that are not normally what you would think of when someone says Marvel. And who knows, maybe I will review some other comics based on cartoons, toys, video games and TV shows from other companies. So let’s start this off with looking back at The Smurfs’ short run at Marvel.

I am going to grade these comics on a standard one to four star scale. For each issue I am going to be grading the story, the art, how true it was to the cartoon or toyline it was based on and its entertainment value. So with that said, let’s look at The Smurfs!

Smurfs #1  **

Released in 1982     Cover Price .60     Marvel Comics     #1 of 3

The premiere issue is filled with three major stories and a few small fillers. Major story number one is called “ The Smurf Plane” and shows a Smurf building an airplane to impress the other Smurfs and later using his plane to save Smurfette from the evil Gargamel. “Nearer. My Smurf, To Thee!” is the second and has a Smurf who is trying so hard to hit the bullseye on the target with his bow and arrow. The third major story “The Smurf of Youth” has Smurfette fearing she is getting old and ugly and conning two other Smurfs into following her and a strange map she found to the fountain of youth, that really is just another sinister trap from Gargamel. Once more they don’t fall for it and escape unharmed.

The first thing you notice upon opening up this issue is the so-so art work that almost seems more of an amateur’s drawings for a youngster in their family. While it’s not that bad, it’s still puzzling to me how the Smurfs in this issue just don’t seem to look right. The sub par artwork aside, for a premiere issue it seemed very dull and rushed with the third major story “The Smurf of Youth” being the best in the book and keeping a silly fun shallow vibe throughout. I am puzzled as to why no one besides Papa Smurf questioned Smurfette as she vainly insulted herself by saying that because she’s older she is ugly, so one can only imagine just how foul Papa must be in her eyes. Smurfette does not come off as a good person in this issue and like I perviously stated seems self-absorbed. The first story is fun yet really anti-climatic. And the second story while “cute” still is just a filler entry. The best moment in this part being a Smurf using bees as darts. Most of the smaller stories also seemed like page filler and while fun and silly, they really just left you wishing the writers would have just made one solid story. Oh and a really odd thing is that Gargamel keeps calling Smurfette “The Smurfette” making for some odd reading. I mean is there some fake Smurfette running around as well? This comic doesn’t capture the good natured heart and soul of the cartoon and almost seems like a strange fan made comic. This issue # 1 didn’t impress me, and really gives a person nothing to talk about besides Smurfette’s shallowness sticking out like a sore thumb. I am sure even in my youth I would have found this issue to be a bland way to bring the Smurfs to comics. The cover on this one, while okay, should not have been used for an issue one. This looks like it should have been the cover for an issue after # 6! And man look at the Smurf in the plane he just looks super pissed off to see Gargamel!

Smurfs #2  **

Released in 1982     Cover Price .60     Marvel Comics     #2 of 3

This second issue is much like the first and has three major stories and a handful of small fillers. The first major story is “The Smurfs and the Evil Bird,” in which Gargamel turns himself into a bird to sneak into the Smurf village to kill them all while they sleep. But his plan is discovered by Papa Smurf who runs him out of the village but not before he takes a hostage! With the help of Mr. Crane, they get the Smurf back and Gargamel gets his. Second is “Smurf the Birdie” where Farmer Smurf wants to protect his corn seeds from the birds and must find the perfect scarecrow. After a failed one, he gets a statue of Smurfette that keeps the birds away because of all the Smurfs are just staring at the statue! This leads also into a few pages of Smurfs trying to win Smurfette’s affections. The final story is “Sticky Smurf” in which Gargamel uses a sticky sundae to capture a Smurf but the treat turns out to be so sticky that he also gets stuck in the desert! And of course it’s up to Papa Smurf to come up with a position to free his trapped friend.

This is not an improvement over the disappointing issue one and still has the same bland art inside. This time around also rocks one hell of a lame cover, I mean take a good look at the cover. While the bird and the background look okay, the Smurfs on the ground look terrible. In this second issue the best of the main stories would have to be the opener “The Smurfs and the Evil Bird.” This seems like it could have easily been on the cartoon and also makes for a shocking moment as Gargamel tries to smother the Smurfs with smoke as he clogs the chimney of Papa Smurf hoping to kill him. Also I should state that in this issue it’s shown that the Smurfs drink Brandy! Wow, these Marvel Comic Smurfs are badass party animals! That’s one thing I have noticed so far, Marvel has changed some of this happy go lucky kids cartoon’s concepts into a little more sinister and sly ways to work in some adult style shockers from drinking to narcissism to even murder, making the issues a little more enjoyable to see just how much they will push the limit. The best moment in this one comes when a Smurf wins a kiss from Smurfette after he brings her was she thinks is a fur scarf, that turns out to be really a pet caterpillar! Smurfette being the classy woman she is throws the insect out and is mad for not getting a real fur like she thought. Wow, what a Smurfy Bitch! Issue two is only slightly better than issue one and still does not bring the charm of the cartoon to cheap comic paper. Maybe issue three, the final in the Marvel Smurf series, will be just the right amount of fun this series needs.

Smurfs #3   **1/2

Released in 1982     Cover Price .60     Marvel Comics     #3 of 3

This is the third and final issue and once more it semi-follows the formula of the past two issues with this time only two main stories and a few filler ones. Story one “ Monster Smurf” shows how all the other Smurfs get sick of Jokey Smurf’s pranks and decide to pull an ultimate prank on him in return. Then up is “Smurf Ball” were Hefty Smurf is two strong to play smurfball with the others so Handy rigs up a ball on a rubber band that Hefty can play with on his own and it leads to him on accidentally leading Gargamel to the village. It’s up to his quick thinking to save the day.

This third go around is still a major let down. While this issue is closer to the cartoon, it still lacked something to make it rise above and pull it out from being a two and a half star issue. This issue’s best offer is “Monster Smurf” just due to the fact it showed Jokey Smurf being the prankster we all knew and loved from the cartoon. This one also took out the third story and focused more on short stories that mostly dealt with Harmony Smurf and his lack of ability to carry a note. It was also nice to see an issue that focused on other Smurfs beside Smurfette who seemed to be a huge part of the past two issues. Like I said earlier, this one is the closest out of the comics run to capture the lighthearted fun tone of the cartoon and is the best issue in the series for doing so. The cover is also an improvement and is more eye catching and better drawn than the issues that came before it. So it seems just as the series seemed to be changing for the good, it was cancelled never to fully redeem itself.

My connections to the world of the Smurfs in my youth was very loose. While I watched the cartoon and enjoyed it, I only had a few of the small figures and they acted as the wussy background characters the good guys had to protect when I would have my all out toy wars. I also remember my Grandmother had a few on a shelf that when we would visit she would let us play. She also had glasses we drank from. My aunt also had a few, but again the toy line was never my thing. The cartoon and toys were always thought of more as a girl items with all their positive messages, cheesy romantic figures and no beat ’em up action or moveable parts so I am not sure why Marvel, who mostly made comics for young males, decided to make this short comic series. It also makes me wonder why only three issues – were the sales that bad they pulled the plug on it fast? Or were the people who owned the rights to the Smurfs that hard to work with? I tend to think that it probably started out as a trial run with only three issues being made with the option of more, but sales were most likely mediocre at best and the deal was just not in the cards. I happened to get these issues at Maverick Cards and Comics run by Jack Maverick in Kettering, Ohio in 2008 in a brand new sealed three pack that someone before me bought at K-Mart for a dollar when it was released. I paid three for the set! Not a bad pick up at all and they sure did come in handy for this blog. But now I am off topic. Over all Marvel’s Smurf run was a mediocre outing with some odd behavior coming from the pint size blue little bastards. The issues did not wow me now and I would be so bold to say that even in my youth I would have not been impressed.

On a fun side note in 1982, a Smurf game called “Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle” was released for both Coleco Vison and Atari 2600 and marked the first time the characters would be in a video game. The little blue mushroom house living icons would also have games on many of the top systems such as Playstation, Nintendo DS, Wii, NES, PC and many more home systems!

One thing I have noticed about Smurfs as well is that almost every one of my girlfriends (past and present) have loved them! I am not sure what the appeal is to women but they seem to really have a bound to the Smurfs. In fact here is a pic of my current girlfriend’s Smurf Collection and this is a drop in the hat compared to how many she really has.

Another thing I would like to briefly talk about is “The Smurfs Enchanted Voyage,” a boat ride at Kings Island Amusement Park here in Ohio. The ride would have you sit in a boat and travel down a path that had scenes all around you and voices and the theme song would play throughout. I first heard about this ride via my mother who went to the theme park for a Christmas celebration with her friend and was able to ride it. Many years later my brother and I went to the park with some family members and were able to ride it and I must say, being young the ride was pretty sweet! I remember being amazed by the Smurfs from around the world. Sadly the ride is no longer running and has been changed to many different things that included “The Phantom Theater”. Below are some pics of the ride. Sadly I did not take these myself – I was able to find them online, so thanks to whom ever shared these pics with the world.

In 2011 the Smurfs came to the silver screen for the first time and guess what? It was not an animated feature film but a CGI live action one! I have not seen the film nor do I have any desires to, but it did do well at the box office showing that these little blue forest dwellers still pack a punch in the eyes of the youth.

So my next update I think we will look at Marvel’s A-Team run that also only ran for three issues, and I will share some of my fond memories of Mr. T and the A-Team.

Oh yeah, and this blog is a work in progress and I am still working out the bugs of how I want things set up, but I hope you enjoyed this entry and I hope reading also helped trigger some past fun memories for you.