Black Bow And His Indie Superhero Forgotten Friends

Being the owner of an indie comic company has just really cemented my love for true independent comics. You know the ones I am talking about, the comics that are made by creators who sell their books directly to readers at conventions, public appearances and at local comic shops. These creators are the true backbone of the comic industry as their passion and love for their creations shows. While the Marvel and DC both just see marketing tools for blockbuster movies and streaming TV shows nowadays, it’s the indie guys that are delivering amazing reads and fresh new characters. So with this update I have decided to once again dig through the cheap boxes at comic shops and search the web for some superheroes from indie comics that didn’t get a fair shake when it came to getting the popularity of Spider-Man or Superman as well as even the courtesy of getting more than a small handful of issues released. I really did have a blast back on February 3, 2019 when I covered the likes of Rottweiler, T-Bird and Blood Bath and with that I am going to add a fourth hero to the update as like all good “sequels” you need to up the action! So if you are ready, let’s take a look at some truly amazing forgotten and over looked Superheroes of the comic shop cheap bins. Below is the comic book case at Game Swap Kettering when they first started carrying higher end comics.

First up is a character named Black Bow from a company called Artline Studios. I heard about this comic on an episode of Cartoonist Kayfabe!, a YouTube show hosted by comic creators Jim Rugg and Ed Piskor who also seem to enjoy these type of indie comics. Artline Studios looks like it opened its doors in 1990 and boarded them up in 1992 with a total of four titles released, all only lasting one issue each. The comics they released besides Black Bow were the following: DeathWind, Tekknights and Sting/Killer Synthetic Toads…and yes all of them at some point will get the Rotten Ink treatment. From what I gather Artline Studios was based out of Illinois and was a collective of artist coming together to create the company and bring new and fresh superheroes into the hands of readers. And like so many Indie companies before them and even after them, Artline Studios made a small mark on the world of comics and created many heroes that make you wonder what if they would have lasted or caught on with readers.

So to start this review off right, we are going to start with the character Black Bow that made me want to do another of these updates about indie heroes that never got the chance to becomes icons. I got Black Bow off Ebay from Mile High Comics and am pretty hyped to read it for the first time. This comic and all the ones that follow I want to remind you all that I grade these issues on a standard 1-4 star system and am looking for how well the comic stays to the source material, its entertainment value and its art and story. So if you are ready, let’s enter the world of Black Bow as well as the heroes that have been selected for this update.

Black-Bow # 1  **1/2
Released in 1991    Cover Price $2.50     ArtLine Studios    # 1 of 1

Black Bow lives in the sewers of Chicago, and on this night he stalks a drug dealer. Before shooting him with arrows, he gets the name of his supplier. The main drug dealer is John Atkins, who not only is a drug seller but also a man who deals in illegal porn and runs his own Satanic Cult. Once Black Bow breaks into his mansion, he soon finds out that it’s a trap and he is caught in a pentagram on the floor that has hands trying to pull him down to Hell. Black Bow fires arrows at his demonic enemies and escapes the pentagram trap and is then confronted by a demon named Slaze who goes on the attack, but Black Bow knows he is on bad footing and escapes the mansion and heads into the dark with the idea of returning and ending the Demon and his master. We then cut back to the drug dealer who awakens from being shot with arrows and questions his life of crime. And worse, a woman appears at Black Bow’s mother’s house and alerts her that her baby is indeed Black Bow’s!

This series ends on a major cliffhanger and it stinks, as I really would have loved to read other issues featuring Black Bow and see how he would bring down a satanic drug lord and his demonic forces. The plot of issue one has Black Bow getting the location of a very evil man who is doing lots of very bad things who has been waiting for our hero and sets a trap for him that leaves Black Bow almost dragged to hell and forced to flee the fight in order to stay alive. Add in the side plots of Black Bow’s girlfriend alerting his family he has a child and the drug dealer who ratted out his boss rising from what appears the dead after being shot with arrows, and you have this fun indie issue. Black Bow is a pretty cool hero who has a very late 80’s indie hero look complete with a metal facemask and hood. I really like the idea of a hero with a mystical bow living in the city’s sewer who wants to clean up the streets of all the crime that is running rampant. I also like the fact he is a full fledged vigilante and has zero tolerance for criminals. The issue’s villain is John Atkins and sadly we never do get a look at him, but we do know that he is a massive drug lord, deals in porn, owns a massive mansion and has his own cult that worships Satan. We also know he has opened a portal to Hell and has many demons under his control including one named Slaze who seems to almost be John’s bodyguard. The comic is a very quick read as it also has two back up stories with one being the origin of Black Bow and how he got his power, and the other features another costume hero named Alley Cat. Both of those backup stories are worth reading. The cover for this issue is eye catching for fans of Indie Comics and would have been a comic I would have picked up if I had seen it as a kid. The comics interior art was done by Ed Decker, and I must say it pretty dang good, oh and Ed also created the character! Over all I must say Black Bow is a very solid comic with a pretty cool character who never got his time to shine. Check out the art below to see the style of Ed Decker and see just how cool Black Bow looks.

While looking around the cheap boxes of comics at Bell, Book And Comic, I found an interesting issue in the box of $1.00 # 1’s called My Name Is Mud, and I knew this hero was perfect for this update as he was a hero that only lasted one issue from a company no one has heard of. Incognito Comics looks like it started and died in 1994 and only had this one comic under its belt. I am guessing that the company was owned by artist and creator Brian Denham who went on to work for companies like Marvel, IDW, Image, DC among many others. So as you can see, this company’s rise and fall came with the same issue. So here is to you, Incognito Comics, for making a tiny speck in the world of comics.

My Name Is Mud is a comic when that I saw it, I knew that this had to be one of the forgotten heroes I covered on this update as he fit perfectly as he only lasted one issue, was released by a very short lived comic company and had an interesting look! So let’s see what Mud is all about.

My Name Is Mud # 1  **1/2
Released in 1994     Cover Price $2.50     Incognito Comics   # 1 of 1

Kid Chaos is a young teen who has the powers of a God and when bored he decides to go on a rampage in the city streets as people watched on in fear. As he tires of the destruction, he floats away and from the shadows Mud appears, a hero who was enjoying his day off and knew he was no match for the evil doer. Later on Mud returns to the police station, his home away from home, and finds out that a fellow officer has been murdered and his boss wants him on the case even if it’s his day off. Mud must break off his date with girlfriend Liz ,and she is angry telling him not to come back, and in his gut Mud has a bad feeling about his new case. After heading to a pub to drink a beer and get a ham & cheese sandwich, he meets an old man who tells him he can see his future and he will be going on a major journey…and before they can talk some more, Kid Chaos is back and sets up a fight with Mud. A few hours pass and Mud arrives at the meeting spot and Kid Chaos hits him with a massive energy blast that leaves our hero hurt. Filled with rage Mud goes on the attack and looses control and beats Kid Chaos to death! After he murders the teen, Mud decides to quit the force and move away from the city and finds that he is just wondering around a canyon when he happens upon a young woman who ends up being his new love interest.

This one was a little surprising and was a really solid read that created a world that I would have liked to have seen more of. This comic follows the massive superhero Mud who works for the police department, and while he loves his job, he does also enjoy his time away from it, and when he must battle an overly powerful teen that leads to the youngster’s death, the hero must face what he is doing with his life. This is a pretty great superhero comic and takes a turn in the end that I did not see coming as I was shocked that our main hero beat a teenager to death with his bare hands, even if the teen was a super powered villain. Mud himself is a costumed hero who is hulking in size and loves his job as a law enforcement officer, but also battles in his own mind as he knows he is over worked and his free time he wants to spend away from crime and with his lovely lady Liz who sadly he has to break so many dates with as duty always calls. While a good guy superhero, Mud also has a temper and seems to loose his cool when he is scared and has been injured. Kid Chaos is an ego driven teenager who has the power of a God and doesn’t mind using them against innocent people as he seems to get joy in striking fear in the hearts of the townies. But with his ego also comes his downfall as he uses his might against a hero who got the better of him in battle and paid with his life. The world that creator Brian Denham made for Mud was very interesting, and I would have liked to have seen where this comic series would have gone if it lasted more than this one issue. I also have to give Brian credit as he was a one man show of this comic as he was not only the artist but also write, colorist, letterer and even editor! I also find the cover very eye catching on this issue. My Name Is Mud might share a name with a popular Primus song, but this comic stands on its own and was a really solid read. Check out the artwork below to see the style of Brian that I found very good…even if I could see pencil lines left behind.

Dimension Graphics seems to have started around 1986 and closed up shop in 1986 with only four titles under their belt and only one series lasting more than one issue. Series include Hero Man, Secret Doors, Happy Birthday Gnatrat and ElfTrek, the only comic to get a second issue. It appears that Dimension Graphics was run by editor Marcus C. Lusk who truly believed in and loved his company. Like all the indie companies we are covering on this update, there is very little information on Dimension Graphics as it lasted so shortly that it was a blip on the screen of the comic shelves.

So when picking which four heroes to cover on this update that celebrates indie superheroes that never got a fair shake, I landed on Hero Man because all the rest of the heroes we are covering are very serious and I felt the goofy ones also needed to get a little respect. I want to also thank Bell, Book and Comic for having this comic in stock and making this update a little better.

Hero Man # 1  **
Released in 1986     Cover Price $1.75     Dimension Graphics     # 1 of 1

Louis Oak Riley is a Scout Leader who while out in the woods gets crushed by a bowling ball spaceship driven by alien bowling balls who feel bad for crushing him and design a suit for him and give him superpowers and with these powers he becomes Hero Man! Louis works a day job at a factory, and his boss is the man his wife left him for. His life is very bad and his co-worker wants to cheer him up and makes plans for the two of them to travel to amusement park Drexelland to pick up single moms and have a good time. But Louis feels weird going there to pick up women as his daughter Rocks-Ann works there as a clown. So Louis runs to the bathroom and changes into Hero Man as he feels this would go over better with the crowds, and once entering the park fully he runs into his daughter and knocks the balloons from her hand causing her to have to talk to her boss. Once she heads to the office, she finds herself as well as her boss being taken hostage by terrorist who make them stand atop a ice cream mountain and shout demands, and when he notices his daughter has been taking hostage, Hero Man rushes to the rescue and grabs a massive spoon and eats his way to the top of the mountain and beats up the bad guys and saves his Daughter and her boss. In the end the ice cream hurts Hero Man’s stomach and when his co-worker brings two twins with ice cream to him for a date…he pukes and so ends the adventure of Hero Man.

This silly superhero comic is a fun read and Hero Man is lot of fun, but sadly some of the politically incorrect humor took me out of the comic in spots as it was just bad. The story is very simple as a down on his luck guy is granted amazing powers by aliens and even though he is a superhero he still gets no respect and must rise to save his daughter from terrorist. Hero Man is a hero who lacks respect and knowledge and clearly saves the day by coming up with silly ideas. His costume is goofy looking as well but was made of bowling items that his creators the bowling balls from outer space made for him. I also like that he is just a normal guy with normal problems, and even while he has superpowers, he doubts his own ability when it comes to stepping up. Plus I love that Hero Man’s origin is tied into Superman’s as the reason the bowling ball ship crashes to Earth is because baby Superman’s ship crashes into it! The bad guys of this issue are called the P.P.L.O. and are dressed as mascots from the park and threaten to kill hostages and use bombs to blow people up, but while they seem dangerous they are taken out very fast by Hero Man who shows them no mercy. And while I enjoyed this Indie Comic, I need to state I do not find it funny when you as a creator poke fun at a person’s religion or race and do so with nasty names and stereotypes. I also need to say I do not think the creators of this comic had mean intentions at all, but the bad jokes/name calling just doesn’t hold up to modern readers. The cover for this comic is very eye catching for fans of goofy superheroes, and the interior art done by John Cummins is really good as it has a fun almost kids comic look to it. If you like bumbling heroes with cheesy jokes and sight gags, make sure to give Hero Man a read. Check out the artwork below to show the style of Cummins.

Our last hero comes from the company Brainstorm Comics that was started around 1989 and was an indie comic company that delivered all types of styles from Horror to Super Hero and would last as a company until around 2000. Many of the company’s comics were based on Vampires and had a very adult nature to them packed with violence and nudity. Brainstorm lasted a little longer then the other companies on this update and to be honest I have seen more of their books in comic shops then all the others above combined! While Brainstorm Comics was not a major player in the world of Indie Comics, they at least left behind a body of work that is still being collected to this day.

So from Brainstorm Comics I decided to choose Hammer Girl to talk about as she only lasted two issues and feels like she belongs in the world of Forgotten Heroes. I want to thank Lonestar Comics for having both issues in stock, and I have to say this is the first time I will be reading this comic series. So let’s see what Hammer Girl has to offer.

Hammer Girl # 1  **1/2
Released in 1996   Cover Price $2.95   Brainstorm Comics   # 1 of 2

A group of scientist who are playing with time and space have had an experiment go wrong, and John, one of their team members, is now missing in time, and they must figure out a way to rescue him. And while the scientist have a meeting about rebuilding a machine to bring John back, a repair woman known as a Hammer Girl speaks up and tells them they could just send her back in time to fix his transporter and this is the plan they decide to go with. So along with Sonia and a male guard, Hammer Girl travels back in time of the dinosaurs to find the missing man and fix his gadget, but what they find is that they miscalculated time, and John is now a crazed caveman who thinks he is a God and they are there to attack him! Hammer Girl uses a rubber mallet and knocks out John and they find his hidden cave and his transporter that Hammer Girl fixes in no time and once they use it something goes wrong and they are dropped off in an unknown time and once more John is missing.

This first issue of Hammer Girl is just ok and reminds me slightly of a weird mix of “Tank Girl”, “Cadillac and Dinosaurs” and “Super Mario Bros.” with a dash of Anime and while that mash up sounds weird, it kind of works here as it’s a very simple comic with a simple plot and a likable, underdeveloped hero. The story is this a repair woman is sent back in time to fix a stranded scientists gear, and finds herself now stuck in time travel with two others on a quest to get home. Hammer Girl is a hero who is bright, strong willed and will do what ever she can to get the job done she is hired to do. He also get the feeling that she loves her job of being a fix it woman who uses hammers to get most of her work done. The two scientists that are with her while smart and by no means survivors and they are good side characters for Hammer Girl to play off of. The dinosaurs of the world they travel back to are well dinosaurs with the T-Rex being the most dangerous! John who was once a wise man of science is now a caveman who has a delusion of being godlike and while mad they crew sent back still want to help him. Over all this issue is a fun read but also is nothing that special as the story is very normal indie comic. The cover is eye catching for the most part and has a very American Anime style to it. The art is done by Lloyd Meek and is pretty good and his style really makes this story pop. So the first issue is pretty good and makes me want to see what issue two has in store for me.

Hammer Girl # 2  *1/2
Released in 1996   Cover Price $5.00   Brainstorm Comics   # 2 of 2

Hammer Girl and her friends find that they are no longer even on Earth and are on another planet! Meanwhile a race of Eagle humanoids are holding gladiator games in a arena and their champion is Byrdax who after make show work of an alien is challenged by John, and after a quick fight and before he can kill the looney scientist Hammer Girl with a massive hammer enters the arena and challenges Byrdax. The battle starts off very brutal and as the crowd and King watch Hammer Girl wins the fight, and to save face and to find out how they arrived on their planet the King invites them to stay in the Kingdom and even gives them a tour and tells them of the history of their race. Once in their rooms they find their time travel devices and Hammer Girl and the Scientist decide to use them and return home with the still knocked out John. When they arrive back at home they whole city is destroyed and they find that the Bird Race had used the info they learned from them and their time travel equipment and have taken over!

This second and last issue in this series leaves the reader on a major cliffhanger as the Earth they return to is destroyed and over taken by an alien race of bird people and they are super aggressive and only crave worlds to take over and make their own. In this second and final issue in the series Hammer Girl shows that she is not only skilled at fixing stuff, but can also swing that hammer and defend herself like a true warrior. That’s the thing about Hammer Girl as these issue went on you seen more layers to who she really is. The Scientists and John are around and while John tries to fight he is easily beat by the Bird Warrior and the Scientists stand around in fear…in other words they are not helpful. The Bird People are sneaky and creatures of war as they attack and once defeated they lie in order to get information they need in order to find out about Earth as they want to conquer it! When you think about it the end of this comic takes very much from the end of the movie “Planet Of The Apes” with the world being taken over and destroyed by human/animal hybrid people. I think the weird thing about this comic as well is the fact that Brainstorm Comics upped the cover price from $2.95 to $5.00 and I think that hurt sales as this was the final issue in the series that was slated to last lots longer. The cover for this issue is good but does have an adult comic look to it. The interior art is done by B. Dallas Patton and while good it is very much off from the style of Lloyd Meek from the first issue. Over all this canceled series was entertaining but was nothing groundbreaking or new. Check out the art below to see the art style used in these issues.

So like before when I covered Rottweiler, T-Bird and Blood Bath each of these characters have sadly been forgotten by the masses as maybe to less of issues and impact have left them in cheap bins at local comic shops. I mean how many of you readers out there talk about Black Bow, Mud, Hero Man or Hammer Girl with your friends? How many of you even own issues of these characters…while I am sure some of you do the large majority don’t and it’s a sad thing as these characters really are forgotten heroes. And like before I am sure you are all wondering who of the four characters we covered here is the one I would have liked to have seen continue on in the world of comics…I know you are all wondering who I will choose, and like before I am going to show the winner via a Fantasy Warfare battle! So sit back an enjoy this battle between forgotten heroes.

It’s a hot summer day in Chicago and the temperatures are in the high 90’s and it’s around lunchtime as a line at a local pizza joint is out the door as this place is said to have the best deep dish pizza in town. In this line is Louis Oak Riley who is on a lunch break as he has been sent to Chicago by his factory job to supervise the manufacturing of a weird product he don’t even know what it does! Also on a lunch break is Hammer Girl who has spent all morning swinging her hammer to fix some high-end equipment for some high tech company paying her a fortune to maintenance their mechanical junk. The restaurant is hot as the ceiling fans and air conditioner just can’t keep up with the blistering heat from the bright sun and the pizza ovens, and worse tensions inside the restaurant are starting to boil over as the person in the front of the line is taken forever to order his food, and finally after have been waiting for over 17 minutes in the same spot Louis Oak Riley snaps and screams at the front of the line that “other people want to eat lunch too lard ass!” after he says it he feels bad almost instantly as that’s not him he is normally a very nice person, but he really regrets it when the person holding up the line is a massive man that is known as Mud and he is mad at the comments as he is on a date with his lady and cant not be made a fool of and turns to see who was so rude, and when everyone in line see’s how massive he is they all point at poor Louis who is now turning red and knows that this is going to turn south really fast. Mud makes his way over to Louis and grabs him by his shirt so they can be face to face and asks him what he just said with his fist ready to punch his block off, when another voice echoes out that says “Leave Him Alone” and as Mud away from Louis he sees Hammer Girl standing there with a hammer in hand, as she says “I Am Not Going To Say It Again”, Mud laughs her off and goes back to screaming in the face of Louis about manners when Louis tries to apologize he by accident spits a tiny drop on Mud who them backhands Louis across the restaurant and he falls into the Pepsi machine! As this happens Hammer Girl enters the fight now and smashes Mud across his face and this makes him stumble through the front window and Hammer Girl rushes out after Mud who she has now deemed a threat to the people of Chi-Town. Louis gets up covered in Mountain Dew and stumbles into the bathroom and a few moments later comes out in his Hero Man costume and joins the side of Hammer Girl as the massive Mud shakes off the hammer hit and is now really pissed off.

Across the street from the pizza place on the rooftop a masked hero has just sat down to have himself a loaded Chicago Hot Dog that he had just bought off a street vender and he has been looking forward to lunch all day and the heat has been terrible and he had just gotten done bashing a demon that had returned to Earth thanks to a silly cult running out of an abandon building. As he takes his first bite he looks down at the street as a commotion has caught his attention and their stopping traffic in front of the pizza place is Mud who is in a full rage and is charging Hero Man and Hammer Girl who are standing their ground as well ready to take down this rampaging hulking hero man down who only wanted to order 16 pizzas for lunch so he and his date can enjoy a meal together. As Black Bow keeps eating his Hot Dog he watches as Mud and Hero Man lock up in a test of strength the ground beneath each start to crack and crumble as each gain a little ground then loose it, and finally Mud gets the upper hand and knocks Hero Man against a near by van and then follows up with several punches to Hero Man’s face, and now the costume hero is out for the count…as Mud turns around he is meet with a shot from Hammer Girls hammer knocking him to his knees. As Mud looks up he see’s Hammer Girl about to swing down to smash him on the head and he lets her know he will not hit a woman.

Black Bow takes the last bite of his Hot Dog and wipes his fingers off as he then removes a special arrow out and pulls back his bow string and fires just before Hammer Girl is about the smash Muds head like a melon, the arrow lands and sticks into the road next to the fighting heroes and a green gas pours out and fills the lungs of Hammer Girl and Mud and causes them to pass out in the street next to the already knocked out Hero Man. Black Bow makes his way down to street as people have gathered around to watch and among the crowd stories of what Black Bow is going to do to the fallen and short tempered heroes starts to spread as things like execute them and blow them up with an exploding arrow is the top gossip among them, but they are all shocked as he walks passed them all and into the Pizza place and buys a bottle of Pepsi to drink plus a several two liters of Mountain Dew plus orders around four pizzas and once done he walks back out takes a drink from his Pepsi and calmly walks over to the heroes and uses smelling salts to wake them all up and says something to them all that the crowd can not hear and they all follow him. And a few minutes later in an abandon store front Black Bow has brought Hammer Girl, Hero Man and Mud together for a pizza party and all ends well as the one time feuding heroes are now chomping down on some deep dish sausage and extra cheese pizza.

Winner: Black Bow

So as you can see, I really do think that Black Bow would win in a battle against the others and also had the best comic out of the lot and the one that I think had the biggest potential to be a full series with interesting stories to tell about his battle against drugs and Satan worshipers. Plus while the look of Black Bow screams 90’s Indie Comic hero he could be updated and made into a very cool Green Arrow meets The Punisher Character. And if we had him at Sparkle Comics I would place him in the world of Black Jack, Spring Heeled Jack and Adventure Man and would also give him his own mini series that would have him taking on a Satanic Cult that is killing women in the Purple Church in Oklahoma and they make the mistake of selecting Black Bow’s baby’s mother to kill and he goes on a rampage to get her back. But sadly Black Bow will never join the Sparkle Comics world and it’s a shame as he is a great character that would be entertaining readers again.

Before I end this update I want to also share with you readers about a epic Horror Movie Marathon that Juliet and I had starting on March 27, 2020 as we decided that it was a good day to sit back and relax and get away from the drama of scariness of the real world and enjoy the horrors of the home screen. And for the Pre-Show we ordered Wing Zone with a split can of Coke and selected two films to enjoy for the night as a kind of a Pre-Show kick off with the first one being “Unknown Terror” a 1957 film that is about a cave of the dead and a group of Americans that go looking for it and find that the cave holds a dangerous living fungus and the people infected by it. The second film is slasher film “The Furies” that is about a group of young women who are kidnapped and dropped in the woods and are hunted and also protected by masked killers! And I must say this was a great way to start this three-day Marathon event.

For the main day we of course loaded up on good eats that included Breakfast Casserole and Burritos and a few snacks the classic chips and dip combo and started at 8pm with the 1957 drive-in cult classic “I Was A Teenage Frankenstein” that has Dr. Frankenstein creating life from dead teenager parts in order to show the scientific world his genius. Found Footage Cult Classic film “The Mcpherson Tape” was next and is about a family filming a kids birthday party that is attacked by aliens. The third film was “The Curse Of Buckout Road” about a haunted cursed road that has set its evil sites on a group of collage kids who shot a documentary debunking the legends. David Sterling produced “The Yeti Experiment” was next and followed a group that travels to the Himalayas to search for answers at a science base that has went dark, only to find a Yeti on the loose! The fifth film is the 1985 cult film “The Strangeness” about a group of people that go into an old gold mine only to find that something evil is down there with them. “Dark Light” was on tap next and is about a mother who must save her daughter from light head creatures that live under their house. We next watched the super cheesy “Thankskilling” about a killer Turkey who wants revenge on white people and can only do so once in every 505 years. Unlucky flick number eight was “The Snarling” about a low budget zombie film being shot in a small town that is being plagued by murders done by a werewolf! The Monster killing in the woods film “Clawed” was viewed next. The next terror film was “Cupid” about the arrow shooting Valentines Day icon going crazy and killing kids at a school to stomp out love. The next film was one I finally got to see and was the slasher film “Curse Of The Slasher Nurse” about an escape mental patient who targets a group of friends at a cabin in the woods. And the final film of the night was the indie film “Pumpkins” about a pumkinheaded slasher killer carving up people that get too close to his yard. Over all another fun day of watching Horror movies with more fright flicks to be watched the next day!

The After Party to this very epic Horror Movie Marathon that took place on March 29, 2020 starting at 10am and we kicked it off with the 1934 Horror Mystery Thriller film starring Lon Chaney Jr. called “A Scream In The Night” that is about the police trying to stop a murderous crime lord called Johnny Fly. The second film is the remake of the 1959 spooky film “Attack Of The Giant Leeches” that has a local cop trying to stop the killing ways of giant leeches in a swamp in Louisiana, the film was done by indie filmmaker Brett Kelly. The third film of the day is “Restricted Area” about some soon to be laid off steel workers who go camping and run into a very dangerous cult. The fourth and half way to the end of the Pre-Show film is from Full Moon Entertainment and is called “Birth Rite” and is about Rebecca an 18 year old girl who is a leader of a witch cult that she just finds out about and is torn to her personal life and those of the black arts. Then we watched the 80’s film “Fatal Games” that is champion athletes fighting for their place in the Olympics and their lives against a masked killer. What we watched next was “Polaroid” a supernatural film about a cursed camera that kills anyone that has their picture taken with it and a young woman who is trying to break the curse. The next film was the remake of the David Cronenberg film by the Soska Sisters called “Rabid” that is about a woman who after an accident has a stem cell treatment that leaves her blood craving and a virus carrier…or is she? The final film of the marathon was another modern remake of a cult classic film “Gila” is based on the 1959 film The Giant Gila Monster and is about Chase a hot rodder well liked young man who’s home town is being attacked by a giant man eating Gila Monster! A great time once more being spent with my lady Juliet and watching some great Horror Movies on the small screen while enjoying good food.

So by the end of this marathon we had watched a total of 22 films over the span of three days and ate some really good food all while safe and sound in our home. And of course we picked our Golden Turkey for the event with Juliet selecting “Thankskilling” as she found it to be a film that tried to hard to be like a Troma Movie as well as a Full Moon one like Gingerdead Man. I picked “Pumpkins” as the events Golden Turkey as I found it to get generic and disjointed and just not good. And because we had so many films we picked our Top 6 films of the Marathon and we will start with Juliet’s with her # 1.) Rabid, # 2.) I Was A Teenage Frankenstein, #3.) Birth Rite, # 4.) Cupid, #5.) The Strangeness and #6.) The Furies!

And for me my #1.) was “Rabid” as I found it to be a very interesting take on the Cronenberg story and was filled with some great effects, plus funny to see wrestlers CM Punk and AJ Lee in roles. My #2.) was “The Furies” as I liked how they pulled off a Beauty And The Beast in a twisted game of life and death with some great kills and cool looking masked killers. For my # 3.) spot I picked “I Was A Teenage Frankenstein” as it was a great black and white chiller that shows a then modern take on the story and man Dr. Frankenstein is a huge jerk in this one. #4.) was “Gila” as this 2012 remake was lots of fun and added some new elements to the story to make it feel like it’s own fright flick, plus you cant go wrong with that classic Horror feel. The #5.) spot went to “Cupid” as I found this monster movie a fun indie watch filled with some silly arrow kills and a evil killer winged monster. And my final spot that that wicked #6.) was a tough one but I chose “Fatal Games” as I found it to be a fun 80’s slasher film filled with over the top kills and lots of nudity. So as always The Horror Movie Marathon was a great way to take ours minds off the sadness of the real world and delivered hours and entertainment.

Many of the killers and monsters from this extra long Horror Movie Marathon racked up a massive body count but only one can be awarded The Golden Massacre Award…or can it be several as this Marathon has a three-way tie with them all having 12 confirmed kills! The first is the Bear Claw Monster who slashed and ripped apart is body count! Joining him was Uncle from Pumpkins as they pumpkin headed monster slashed and hacked his way to this tie. And finally The Killer Nurse from Curse Of The Slasher Nurse tortured and brutalized her way to hang with these two. So a big thanks goes out to all three for making this epic Marathon one bloody and gruesome good time.

So as you can see the world of comic books is filled with forgotten superhero’s as so many companies have came and went over the years from major players to micro companies with each creating their own hero’s and villains that are now blown away in the sands of time and lost to the masses never to see the light of day again with a new adventure. Like Rottweiler I 100% find that Black Bow had the potential to grow as a character and not to mention you could have built a good rogues gallery for him based on demons, monsters and even cults…but only lasted one issue and being placed in the Long Box in the Sky made Black Bow a true forgotten hero with lots of potential. But for our next update we will be walking away from Unknown and Forgotten Heroes and will talk a look at a Horror Host that has went under the radar by the name of Tim The Enchanter and his show Scary As Hell Theater that was seen only on VHS to a select few! So until time read a indie comic or three, watch a indie film or two and as always support your local Horror Host! Get ready to be scared as Hell on my next update.

The Strong Arm Of The Law Of Marshall Bravestarr

Welcome back to Rotten Ink, a place were we can talk about classic toys, cartoons, movies, horror hosts, video games and so much more.  For this update we are going to travel to space and meet a cowboy who is the law on the planet New Texas that goes by the name Marshall Bravestarr! That’s right, a planet called New Texas is where we will be traveling for this update, but I should warn you that while we are traveling on the BlackThorne Comic Express we will need some 3-D glasses for this adventure. Thinking about it, is New Texas on the Planet Texas that Kenny Rogers sang about in his super cheesy song called “Planet Texas”? Just ponder that for a while.  So I hope you’re ready for a Texas size good time! I must also say that growing up I was not a super fan of Bravestarr, but did watch the cartoon from time to time so this will be nice to go back and try to reconnect with a character I have not thought about in years. Oh yeah, and on the last picture below does it look like maybe Bravestarr ate the wrong kind of mushroom or he just witnessed something very, very bad that marked his very soul?

So before we move onto Bravestarr, I finally must touch up on WWE 2K15 for the PS3, and wow, I must say 2K Sports who took over the IP when THQ went sadly out of business REALLY dropped the ball this first year of them being solely in charge of the wrestling game. The roster is the weakest it’s been in years and the lack of push and updates to their website show just how little they care about the fans of this game series. The fact the major WWE Summer Slam roster reveal panel was incomplete and left out many of the superstars in the game just shows you how lazy 2K is about doing anything with this. I mean when they crammed out NBA 2K15, they really pushed it! This year the major focus of the game is legendary feuds in WWE History like such “major” beefs like Triple H vs. Shawn “HBK” Michaels, Christian vs. Randy Orton and who can forget John Cena vs. CM Punk…..yeah no Hogan vs. Piper or Austin vs. Bret Hart, this feature is super lame on most accounts. Some of these feuds come as DLC as well; they are making you pay to play Orton vs. Christian as well as get a terrible storyline pack for Mark Henry that only adds The Great Kahli to your roster besides some arena and outfits! The only really awesome feud pack that will be released is one that follows the career of The Ultimate Warrior that adds many great legends to roster like Hulk Hogan, Macho King Randy Savage, Sargent Slaughter, Honkey Tonk Man, Ravishing Rick Rude and Andre The Giant. They also will have a WCW roster pack that will add Lex Luger, Diamond Dallas Page, Bam Bam Bigelow, Fit Finley and William Regal that will be a pretty good addition. They also have a story pack based around the rookies of NXT that helps bring the next generation into this generation and legends.

But while 2K tries to make the theme of this year the terrible feuds, for me and others this game belongs to Sting! That’s right the icon of WCW, Sting, is in the game and not only do we get the Crow version but we also get the late 80’s/early 90’s blonde hair one as well! Who would have thought that in 2K15 fans would be treated to Sting in all his video game glory allowing you to have him wrestle the likes of The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels and rematch with Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. Not to mention many other faces of his past are present like Ravishing Rick Rude who he had a great set of matches with in WCW, his friend and some times enemy Lex Luger and not to mention his old tag team partner The Ultimate Warrior.

So let’s take a look at 5 wrestlers that had great matches with Sting in WCW that should have been included in this game instead of being snubbed and left out in the cold.

Big Van Vader

One of the best big men in the business, Big Van Vader should have been in the game and could have had great matches not only with Sting but many others on 2K’s roster. Starting his career in 1985 in AWA under the name of Baby Bull and later changed to Bull Power, he took the scene by storm with his large size and powerful moves. In 1987 he went to New Japan Pro Wrestling and changed his name to Big Van Vader and dominated the competition becoming one of the biggest stars the company has ever had. He had great matches and feuds with the likes of Stan Hansen, El Canek, The Great Muta and Antonio Inoki and was feared by the Japanese audience. During this time New Japan was trading talent with WCW and would have Vader come in for pay per views and take on the likes of Tom Zenk and Stan Hansen, but by 1992 Big Van Vader had left New Japan and took full time work in WCW where he was managed by Harley Race and was the company’s new major heel! Vader dominated once more the competition with matches against the likes of Cactus Jack, Nikita Koloff, Dustin Rhodes, Britsih Bulldog Davey Boy Smith and Sting, and with Sting he defeated and became the World Champion. As years passed and new talent came in, Vader found himself still a draw but taking a back seat to the likes of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage who had jumped ship from WWF to WCW. By 1995 and before the first WCW Monday Night Nitro Vader had left the company. In 1996 he returned very briefly to New Japan Pro Wrestling to finish his feud with Antonio Inoki. WWF came calling in 1996 as well, and Vader made his in ring debut for them at the Royal Rumble.  Very soon after coming in he was managed by Jim Cornette and it looked like he would be pushed once more as a monster heel, but sadly this never was as he seemed to be lost in the shuffle thanks to the likes of Shawn Michaels and Diesel. But during this run he did have some great matches with The Undertaker, Yokozuna, The Patriot and Kane. Vader left WWF in 1998 and went on to wrestle for All Japan Pro Wrestling as well as other independent federations, and still makes appearances from time to time in WWF (WWE).

Key Match Against Sting: WCW Slamboree 94

Barry Windham

Bad Boy Barry Windham is the son of legendary tag team wrestler BlackJack Mulligan and is a super talented and hard worker who was also a member of The Four Horsemen in NWA/WCW. Barry began is career in 1980 and worked for many NWA territories including Florida Championship Wrestling. He feuded with Kevin Sullivan and later went on to capture tag team gold alongside Mike Rotunda. By 1984, WWF came calling and Barry and Mike went to New York and became the tag team known as U.S. Express and had a short year run winning tag gold and losing it to teams like Iran Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff and The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake & Greg “The Hammer” Valentine), making the U.S. Express run out of gas by 1985. In 1986 Barry, as a singles wrestler, returned to NWA and took on the likes of Ric Flair and even formed a tag team with Ron Garvin as they had a good feud with The Midnight Express. Around this time Barry became allies with Lex Luger who would later turn on him and join Ric Flair’s stable known as The Four Horsemen. Barry floated around for a while having matches with Dr. Death Steve Williams, Black Bart and Rick Steiner. In 1988, Barry and Luger, who had left the Horsemen, had patched things up and took the tag titles away from Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard who were members of the Four Horsemen, but when defending them Barry turned on Luger and became the newest member of the Horsemen that consisted of Flair, Anderson, Blanchard and Windham. During this heel run, Barry would become NWA United States Champion and take on many top names in the wrestling world like Sting, Dusty Rhodes, Brad Armstrong and Bam Bam Bigelow.  He would later lose the title to Lex Luger, and in 1989 he left the NWA. Once more he went to WWF and took the name The Widowmaker and played an evil tough cowboy character who went undefeated for over 4 months, but this was very short lived and he once more left the company as quickly as he entered. In 1990 he returned to NWA now WCW and rejoined the Four Horsemen and even helped his fellow member Sid Vicious win the world title from Sting, as Windham dressed as Sting and allowed Sid to pin him! This run in WCW would see him turn from face to heel and make allies and enimies out of the likes of Dustin Rhodes, Brian Pillman, Stunning Steve Austin, Ricky Steamboat and The Great Muta, as well during this time he would win many titles and become a solid worker for the company. But once more he left the pastures of WCW and went back to WWE in 1996 to become a character called The Stalker a crazy outdoors hunter type who was a babyface.  Thank God that in 1997 they changed his character and teamed him up with Justin Hawk Bradshaw to become The New Blackjacks, but this as well didn’t last long as they had Windham turn on Bradshaw and join a faction of wrestlers who were pro NWA. And once more as quick as it started Windham left WWF and went back to WCW to be part of a team called The West Texas Rednecks alongside the likes of Curt Henning, Bobby Duncum Jr. and his younger brother Kendall Windham, and they all were a bunch of good old boys who hated rap music. Barry and Kendall would team up and become Tag Champions before they both were fired in 1999. Barry after this release would go on to wrestle for many small independents around the world where he still was able to make an impact. While all the Four Horsemen should be in this game, we do already have Ric Flair so it would have been nice to see the likes of Barry Windham to have feuds in 2K15 with Sting and even guys like CM Punk, Daniel Bryan and Rob Van Damn.

Key Match Against Sting: WCW Clash of The Champions # 22 – Barry Windham, Vader, Paul Orndorff vs. Sting, Dustin Rhodes, Cactus Jack.

British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith

It’s a crime that Davey Boy is not in this game and more so that he is not in the WWE Hall Of Fame! Davey Boy began pro wrestling in 1982 in Stampede Wrestling and had a series of matches against his cousin, the Dynamite Kid. He later went to New Japan Pro Wrestling and had tournament style matches against Dynamite Kid and The Cobra, and after this he and Dynamite formed a tag team they called The British Bulldogs and shocked the world when they jumped to All Japan Pro Wrestling. But during this time they also caught the eye of WWF who signed them as a team to a contract in 1985 where they came in as a baby face power house team who had many great matches with teams like The Hart Foundation, The Dream Team, The Islanders, Rougeau Brothers and Demolition and won tag gold and became one of the biggest tag teams for WWF. But by 1988 they were released from their contracts due in part to Dynamite Kid’s reputation of being a bully backstage. In 1989 they returned to Stampede Wrestling and stuck around for a year, but issues between the cousins arose and Dynamite went to All Japan while Davey Boy went back to the WWF as a solo wrestler in 1990. Davey Boy returned and became a popular star having matches with the likes of The Warlord, Mr. Perfect Curt Henning, The Mountie among others. During this run at SummerSlam 1992, he defeated Bret “Hitman” Hart for the Intercontinental Title and became even bigger of a draw and a star! Davey Boy lost the belt to Shawn Michaels on Monday Night Raw and a little later on he and the Ultimate Warrior were released from WWF for using growth hormones. By 1993 Davey Boy signed to wrestle for WCW where he paired with Sting to feud with Big Van Vader and Sid Vicious, but once more trouble appeared and Davey Boy was fired from WCW over a brawl he had with a fan at a bar over his wife. Davey Boy floated around small independents in England for awhile before coming back to WWF in 1994 where he joined in the family feud between brothers Bret and Owen as he is in fact their real life brother in-law! After that died down, he formed a tag team with Lex Luger called The Allied Powers, but this didn’t last long as Davey Boy turned heel and joined Jim Cornette’s stable of wrestlers that included Owen Hart and Yokozuna. During this time Smith would have matches for Tag Titles as well as The World Title and even became the first ever WWF European Champion! Davey Boy would later join Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman to form The New Hart Foundation.  Davey Boy left WWF alongside Bret and Jim when at Survivor Series 1997 Vince McMahon screwed over Bret Hart during the world title match against Shawn Michaels by pulling real life underhanded dealings. Davey Boy joined Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart in WCW in 1998 where he floated around the midcard tag team division until he seriously hurt his back in the ring and was served his pink slip via FedEx while in the hospital. In 1999 Davey Boy returned to WWF with a new attitude and look as he simply wore blue jeans and boots and won the Hardcore title from Big Bossman.  He later turned heel and set his sights on the world title and had a few title matches against The Rock who was the champ, but Davey Boy never could get the gold away from the peoples champ. Davey Boy was pushed down the card and had matches against the likes of Crash Holly and Val Venis. Davey was let go in 2000 for having an addiction to pain pills among other drugs and sadly passed away in 2002. Besides teaming with Sting in 2K15, I would also love to have him in matches against the likes of Ryback, Mark Henry and Rusev.

Key Match Teaming With Sting: Beach Blast 1993 – Sting & Davey Boy vs. Big Van Vader & Sid Vicious

The  Black Scorpion

Okay I know what you’re all thinking, how could I pick such a cheesy wrestling gimmick as The Black Scorpion as my pick for being snubbed from the game, as others would say he wasn’t he just Ric Flair in a mask? And the answer is yes to both! While The Black Scorpion was discovered to be Ric Flair, many wrestlers played the part, and Ole Anderson who came up with the storyline said it was not supposed to be Flair but him! The Black Scorpion appeared in NWA cutting odd promos about then World Champion Sting claiming that he was from his past and making people believe it was one of his former tag team partners like The Ultimate Warrior or Angel Of Death. During his taunts to Sting, the black masked Black Scorpion would do simple magic and illusions to try and confusing Sting even during matches sometimes multiple versions of him would appear. Every time Sting would get close to unmasking The Black Scorpion during a match, the masked wrestler would be saved by a clone of himself or Sid Vicious who was also having a feud with Sting at the time, never letting him see the identity of his foe. This all came to a head at Starrcade when Sting beat The Black Scorpion in a steel cage and when unmasked, it turned out to be Ric Flair! The character was dropped after this even though rumor has it that he was supposed to go on. The Black Scorpion could have easily been in the game if 2K didn’t cheapen out on his “Feuds” campaign and gave Sting one as he could have been a alternate attire for Ric Flair even! If The Black Scorpion would have been in the game as his own character I would have not only feuded him with Sting but also The Ultimate Warrior and The Undertaker.

Key Match Against Sting: Starrcade 1990 – Sting vs. Black Scorpion in a Steel Cage

Vampiro

In 1984 at the age of 16 Vampiro wrestled his first match in Canada and from that moment on, he was hooked on being a Pro Wrestler. His career would lead him to Mexico where he would wrestle for many promotions and have great matches against luchadors like Konnan, Dr. Wagner Jr., Silver King, El Dandy, Dos Caras and El Canek to name a very few. During this timem he also worked a little in Japan but landed a job in WCW in 1998 where he made a splash in the midcard division and formed a stable alongside Rappers ICP and ECW Original Raven called The Dead Pool, and while very short lived, they had a great rivalry with Konnan, Rey Mysterio Jr. and Eddie Guerrero. His next major matches came when he brought in Punk Rock Band The Misfits and took on Dr. Death Steve Williams. Vampiro then formed a team with Sting that they called The Brothers In Paint, but Vampiro had other plans as he turned on Sting, and while most times Sting always got the upper hand, Vampiro won the “Human Torch” match and set Sting on fire causing the icon to disappear from wrestling for awhile. After beating Sting, he set his sights on The Demon, a wrestler who was based on the rock band Kiss, and after a Graveyard Match, Sting returned and set the wrongs right. Vampiro then went on to team up with The Great Muta and win the tag team titles from KroniK that they lost the next day to Rey Mysterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera, causing Vampiro to turn on Muta and later sparked a three way match with Sting. After this he went on to have a few matches against Mike Awesome and while injured WWE bought out WCW and his contract was not picked up. Vampiro returned to Mexico and even made a few appearances for companies like TNA, JCW and Wrestling Society X. Vampiro is currently working as an announcer for Lucha Underground, a show on El Ray Network featuring matches from wrestlers from AAA. If Vampiro was to be in this game besides Sting I would have him in feuds with The Undertaker, Rey Mysterio Jr., Alberto Del Rio and Goldust!

Key Match Against Sting: Great American Bash 2000 – Sting vs. Vampiro in a Human Torch Match. 

So those are a few names I would have loved to seen in WWE 2K15 for a Sting Rivalry/ Feud story line! I know that Sid Vicious is supposed to be in the game as a manager, but not a wrestler because that makes a lot of sense, 2K, and the fact that none of the Four Horsemen besides Ric Flair is in the game makes me really want to see them in next years. Plus I would love to see guys like The Great Muta in a WWE game, but sadly I see this never happening. While this could be the worse WWE game roster in a long time, here is to hoping they get their act together next year and give us long time fans something better.

For those of you wondering and don’t know who Marshall Bravestarr is, let me tell you a little about the character. Bravestarr is of Native American decent and is a very good man who wants to uphold the law and help those who can’t help themselves. Bravestarr can call on his spirit animals and gain superhuman powers for a short time.  For example, if he calls on the Bear, he gains its strength, and if he calls on a Hawk he gains super sight and so on and so on. His best friend is his trusty cyborg horse name Thirty/Thirty who not only walks on all fours but can also walk on two legs like a person and fire a gun to help. He also has a small deputy named Fuzz, a green powerhouse bartender named Handlebar, a female Judge named J.B. McBride and has many other strange and helpful allies in New Texas. So if you find yourself in space and in need of help just call for Marshall Bravestarr as he will be there to lend a hand.

Filmation,the same company who made “Masters Of The Universe”, “Ghostbusters” and so many more great cartoons in 1987, decided to make a cartoon about space and then they had the idea of mixing in the old west! Back in 1984 while they worked on Ghostbusters, they created an evil ghost cowboy named Tex Hex as one of the series baddies, but the character was pulled from the list as founding member of Filmation Lou Scheimer liked the character’s look and didn’t want him to be a second banana villain so Tex never made it to the cartoon. Tex Hex sat around for 3 years until 1987 when they began to develop the space western animated action cartoon Bravestarr. The series would run for 1 very long season with 65 episodes total as well as a film in 1988. When I was a young lad, I knew very few kids who watched Bravestarr and even fewer kids who owned any of the toys! If I remember right, I think Jeremy Patton had a few that he would bring to the playground in Waynesville, and Grandma Brassfield had Tex Hex and Bravestarr at her house. I can remember watching the cartoon from time to time and while it was fun, it just didn’t catch my attention like other toons released the same year did like Ducktales, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, not to mention other cartoons still running at the time like Muppet Babies, Dennis The Menace, The Adventures of the Gummi Bears, Snorks and so many others were things I watched. Plus at this time I was watching horror hosts Commander USA and Grandpa Munster who started Super Scary Saturday on TBS in 1987, so sadly Bravestarr was just not a shinning star for a young Matt to be watching all the time. The show also just like many other Filmation cartoons always ended with a lesson to be learned and would teach not only the characters but of course us the viewers. While I was not a loyal watcher, I do have a fond likeness for Bravestarr, and even went out and bought all the seasons on DVD.

In 1988 “Bravestarr: The Movie” was released to limited theaters and was a bomb at the box office as it mostly showed during the day on weekends for its short run. The film was trashed by critics and even fans of the show were not sold, and the film fell off the radar. The film was groundbreaking on some small levels as it was the first animated film to use computer graphics, and was the first animated film to come out after the original show was off the air. The film’s plot was an origin story and followed how Bravestarr and Tex Hex became bitter enemies and showed that the Bull Skull named Stampede is the true evil mastermind. I barely remember the film coming out and for some reason think that it might have had a showing at the movie theater that use to be inside the Dayton Mall. The film did come out on VHS and twice on DVD, one being on a single disc release and the other being part of a best of.  So if you want to watch the origin story of the law of New Texas then you have options.

I must mention that one of my favorite bad guys from this series was a fish faced lizard man named Sandstorm! Sandstorm’s power is that he can breath out large amounts of sand and create sand clouds, sand creatures and even can put people to sleep with his sand much like the famed folklore legend Mr. Sandman. His race is called Sand Walruses, and his kind are native to New Texas. For some reason his look reminds me a lot of Mer-Man from Masters of the Universe. Ed Gilbert is the voice actor who played the part who also did voices for characters like Blitzwing (Transformers), General Hawk (G.I. Joe), Metlar (Inhumainoids), Mr. Smee (Peter Pan and the Pirates), Major Disaster (Toxic Crusaders), Baloo (Tailspin), El Seed (The Tick) as well as many other characters in many cartoons. My brother Bryan seems to think we had the Mattel figure of Sandstorm growing up, I however barely remember owning it. So just wanted to give Sandstorm his tiny time to shine before we move onto more history of Bravestarr.

I wanted to take a brief moment to cover this: many of the women I know have this weird thing where they think cowboys/country boys are the definition of a man’s man, and even in media, it’s pushed this way from John Wayne all the way to the Marlboro Man, they are considered tough rugged good looking guys. Well I am going to take this time and be on the opposite side and say that I find country and cowgirls sexy! And I am pretty sure I can pin point the moment I found the look of cowgirl sexy, and that’s Brad from Nickelodeon show Hey Dude played by Kelly Brown started it for me and Faith Hill the country singer sealed it. Something about a pretty girl with the looks of the Girl Next Door wearing a cowboy hat and chaps is something that a guy like myself can appreciate. Don’t want to waste too much time talking about this, but just wanted to give a shout out to all the cowgirls out there. Below are some cowgirls including former WWE Diva Maria dressed as one as well as singer Jewel.

Mattel Toys started to make figures based on Bravestarr almost immediately when the cartoon came out and made them different and more “grand” then many of the figures being released at the time as they stood 8” tall and many of them came with infra red backpacks that interacted with a laser gun you could buy and have your very own shoot outs with the figures! Besides all the main cast of characters like Marshall Bravestarr, Tex Hex, Sandstorm and Deputy Fuzz, they also made the town and jail play set, the wagon and the laser gun. The figures when released came in boxes with very cool art on them and a window to peer in and see the toy. But as I stated before, not many kids I knew had these toys but I do remember seeing the toys on the shelves of stores like Hills, Hearts and Gold Circle and remember seeing lots of them in stock. I can’t be for sure on this statement, but from what I could see at a young age these toys must not have sold very well in normal department stores and must have found some tracking via discount stores like Odd Lots. Being older now and looking at the figures now I must say while they are bulky, they are very well done, and I am sure really made kids of the time happy if they were fans of the cartoon.

Funny enough as I was working on putting this blog together, my friend Brett Prescott who does video game reviews called “Bad or Rad” brought almost a full set of Bravestarr figures into my work to sell! While going through the collection, a sense of nostalgia rushed over me as I looked up the going prices for each figure and even the jail/town playset. And while I knew I wanted them, looking at the figures made me want to own them even more.  So what you are looking at below are the Bravestarr figures I bought from my work thanks to my pal Brett!

Besides the Mattel Toys and Blackthrone Comic series, lots of other merchandise was made to try and make money off the cartoon that includes Halloween masks, lunchboxes, a video game for home computers, pillow cases and bed sheets, Colorforms, storybooks, stickers and even water guns! They tried really hard to try and make kids of the 80’s care about Bravestarr, and for those who did, they had plenty of things to choose from. I really think that both Mattel and Filmation thought that Bravestarr would have been their successor to Masters Of The Universe and put lots of eggs in that basket that sadly for them just didn’t bring the draw that He-Man did.

So are you ready to hit the old trail and stop outlaws with our good pal Marshall Bravestarr? Before he swears us in as deputies hoever, I do need to thank Lone Star Comics and Mile High Comics for having these issues in stock and must also remind everyone that I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and base it on how well the comic stays to the source material, it’s entertainment value and it’s art and story. So let’s saddle up and go kick some Tex Hex butt as we put on our 3-D Glasses and hit the trail.

Bravestarr 3-D  # 1   **1/2
Released in 1987    Cover Price $2.50    Blackthorne    # 1 of 2

Shaman is the father of young Bravestarr who sends him away to become a Marshall at a young age, when he finds that his powers could no longer defeat his enemy Stampede. Years pass, and the planet of New Texas is a hole in the wall that’s main resource is Kerium crystals that is used as fuel sources for large ships. The planet is also filled with outlaws and that’s why law enforcement like Judge J.B. McBride, outpost owner Handlebar, Mayer Derringer and of course Marshall Bavestarr with his trusty cyborg horse 30/30 and pint size Deputey Fuzz look after the townspeople. The ghost bull skull known as Stampede sends his right hand man Tex Hex alongside Sand Storm, Skuzz and Vipra head to town and have a showdown with Bravestarr and his allies.  The fight doesn’t last long, and Barvestarr sends them high tailing it outta town. As Bravestarr is proud of his heroic deed, he gets a visit from Shaman who tells him a long fight is ahead of them all and to learn from each other. In the end to show the townspeople strength, Marshall Bravestarr, Fuzz, 30/30. Handlebar and J.B stand tall and ready for the tough fight ahead.

First thing I have to say is that I hate 3-D comics, and this is one where the “3-D” doesn’t work as well and just kind of looks blurry, so I had to order better 3-D glasses from Amazon to try and help see if I could actually read this comic and get the full effect! The new glasses did help, and I was able to enjoy the sci-fi Western with more enjoyment. The plot is really a crash course of an origin story as we are shown a young Bravestarr being sent to a Marshall station and then follow him as he makes quick work of his enemy Tex Hex to show just how noble and strong he is to the townspeople. Marshall Bravestarr is 100% pure cheesy old school western hero complete with white hat and a sense of pride and very high self-confidence. He is a great hero for this style comic, and I can see why Mattel and Filmation thought they had a hit on their hands. Judge J.B. McBride is a great female character who is pretty and also a fighter; it’s also clear that she has a crush on Bravestarr. Deputy Fuzz is your typical small annoying character that appears in most of Filmations IPs as well as many other 80’s cartoons so just think Snarf and Orko and you have Fuzz. Handlebar and 30/30 are not given much to do in this issue so I hope that in the second they are fleshed out more as they are both important in the cartoon this 3-D comic is based on. Tex Hex is kind of wasted in this issue as he is made of full of pretty quick and is knocked on his butt with a single punch from Bravestarr.  It does show however that he has powers as he turns into a giant. Other bad guys like Sand Storm, robot Thunder Stick, pint size terror Skuzz and female reptile woman Vipra are all wasted and are taken out super quick by the heroes. While the first issue is good, it also adds no real threat as we just see in matter of panels that all the bad guys can be beating with little to no effort making me wonder just who can beat Bravestarr? The art is done by Adrian Moro and is pretty dang good and looks like the cartoon.  The downside is the terrible 3-D effect put onto the art by Bob & Nancy Fritsch that worked only some of the time. Over all this is a pretty good comic that captures the cheesy feel of the cartoon it was based on. I really dig the cover of this issue, as for some reason it has a old western trading card look to it. Let’s move onto the second and final issue in this series and see just how Blackthorne Comics sent Bravestarr off into the big canceled newsstand in the sky.

Bravestarr 3-D  # 2   **1/2
Released in 1988    Cover Price $2.50    Blackthorne    # 2 of 2

A group of kids are fighting and one time friends are really mad at each other as Bravestarr, 30/30 and J.B McBride come over to break it up. The kids are fighting over a item that one thinks the other stole, and J.B tell them a story of how Bravestarr meet 30/30! It begins with Shaman training Bravestarr and tells him that he must go to and find the ultimate weapon.  The young Marshall rushes off into the desert and finds a old temple and inside is a powerful gun as well as a cyborg horse named 30/30 who is mad and thinks Bravestarr is nothing more then a treasure hunting thief.  The two duke it out and cause the temple to collapse! Bravestarr saves 30/30 from the destruction and the two become friends with Bravestarr learning that friendship is the ultimate weapon. The kids learn the lesson and rush off to enjoy the day as do Bravestarr and his friends.

A heart warming issue that teaches us all that with a good friend at your side you don’t have to live in fear, that is unless you are both stuck in the path of King Kong…or you’re both cornered by a horde of zombies with no weapons…or if you’re on the bad side of Doctor Doom…or…wait you get the point. The plot of the issue is when Bravestarr met 30/30 and how they fist fought and then became best friends.  While Bravestarr comes off like his boy scout self, 30/30 comes off as a hotheaded bully who would rather fight then talk it out. Judge J.B acts as a storyteller as she is the one to speak to the kids of this epic meeting. This issue has zero bad guys and once more has no threats, making you as the reader know that nothing bad is going to happen to anyone. Art is well done by Adrian Moro once more as the 3-D effects were handled by Bob & Nancy Fritsch again.  This second cover is okay, but for some reason it looks like Bravestarr is having a stroke on it. This second issue is the same as the first a cheesy comic based on a cheesy sci-fi Western cartoon. Below is some of the 3-D artwork used in the two issues so enjoy!

Well it looks like we took out old Tex Hex pretty quick, and it looks like Blackthorne didn’t truly believe in Bravestarr 3-D as a series as they pulled the plug only two issues in. While I was not a super fan of Bravestarr growing up, I found that these comic were pretty well done and the younger me would have enjoyed them and even maybe helped me care more about catching and watching the cartoon when it was airing. But as Marshal Bravestarr rides off into the sunset, I feel the need to tell you that our next update will be about the DC Comic based on the arcade video game Centipede! So until next time make sure to read a comic or two and support your local horror host.

Walking In A Greasy McDonaldland

Welcome back!  I hope you all are having a fun and safe winter so far.  I used to love the winter when I was younger because there was always a chance of a snow day away from school, and if one did happen, that was a day spent playing Nintendo, reading a comic, watching a movie and playing toy wars! Of course this would also be a day of snow ball fights, that wonderful way to throw frozen ice balls at your friends face and pass it off as a fun time.  I remember having snow ball fights in Waynesville against my brother and friends like Mike Censsna, Bill Hamm, Brad Burns and so many more kids from the neighborhood.  This would also carry over to Kettering when I was working at Kroger as a teenager, and my pal Josh Weinberg and I would spend time throwing snowballs at each other while pulling carts. But one thing about winter always made me upset, the weather men who would predict snow and lots of it and poof, the next day not a flake had fallen.  Being a kid, I would stay up later the night before in my room reading comics or watching my little black and white TV and be grumpy the next day when I would find I would have to go to school. My brother Bryan and I use to always make fun of Carl Nichols, the weather man for Channel 2 who would predict “Winter Storms” and the next morning his reporting was wrong. But here is to winter and here is to all the fun memories that go along with this season, from building snowmen to sledding, this is a fun season to be a kid. Next update I will share a little more of my winter memories and fun times.

Fast food restaurants were running wild in the 1980’s, and most of them were all trying to get the youth of America to choose their place to eat over the others and would use all types of things from kid meal prizes to cookies to get customers’ money. The thing the worked for me to choose a place to eat was the mascots and TV commercials that would show the adventures of these characters, acting as 30 second TV shows hyping the cheap food and fun idea of that place to eat. Most places had some sort of mascot. Burger King had The Burger King Kingdom with guys like Magical Burger King and Sir Shakes A Lot, and later they had the Burger King Kids Club. Wendy’s had Wendy, the cute red head with the pigtails; Captain D’s had Captain D’s, the sailor who loved history and seafood; Dominos Pizza had the Noid, a creepy little guy in a red costume and rabbit ears and so many more.  But the one that always stood out and was super popular for kids back in my time was Ronald McDonald and the rest of McDonald Land characters who were the mascots for the mega burger chain McDonald’s. Everyone in the world would say that when it comes to fast food burger joints, McDonald’s is king, and I for one grew up loving the place. Growing up in Waynesville, there were no fast food chains in downtown.  All we really had was The Hammel House, Dagwoods, Village Family Restaurant and The Dairy Corner, and all were very good and classic style small town restaurants. The Dairy Corner was a place my Mom would take us a lot, and I can remember always ordering a cheeseburger and fries and and enjoying sitting with my family and enjoying the food.  A few times over the years I would drive to Waynesville with girlfriends or friends, and we would eat at the Dairy Corner. Sadly it’s gone now and where once a fun ice cream shop that served food was alive, now sits a shell of a building. Why did it close up you ask.  Well one of the major reasons was the coming of McDonald’s, the first major fast food place to enter the small village of Waynesville and later came Subway. But while it’s gone, Dairy Corner will never be forgotten by this comic book reader.

In 1940 Richard and Maurice McDonald opened up a restaurant that was a BBQ place, but in 1948 they changed into a hamburger joint and started to use drive-thru service, paving the way of “Fast Food” along side White Castle. In 1955, Ray Kroc became a partner in the company and later bought out the brothers to become the owner of McDonald’s, and he turned it into the The King of Fast Food with changes in how the company ran and franchises it supported.  But the buyout was not a smooth one as Kroc and the brothers feuded over the business, and this went on for years. Kroc won the battle, and McDonalds expanded outside the United States and has restaurants all over the world. The restaurant is known for selling hamburgers, chicken nuggets, milkshakes, fish sandwiches and McRibs and has expanded its menu to cafe-style drinks, chicken wings and gourmet salads. McDonald’s also was a pioneer in kids meals when they introduced The Happy Meal in 1979 that had food placed in a box or bag that came with a toy.  Growing up, I loved to a Happy Meal and eat the tasty food and also collect toys based on the likes of The Muppet Babies, Barensteen Bears or Charlie Brown. McDonald’s is still the top fast food joint in the world and it continues to evolve and stay on top by doing so.

I don’t eat McDonald’s very often, but I still do enjoy it from time to time.  The charm of the place has been lost to me once they cut back on using Ronald McDonald and phased out the rest of the McDonald Land characters. But when I do go, I have a order that is a must for me and consists of the same items I have ordered for a very long time:  two cheeseburgers (sometimes a double cheese burger), a large french fries and a medium orange Hi-C.  The fries for me are the highlight of the meal, and I would say out of all the fast food places they have the best french fries followed by Burger King. I know some people will trash the food and spew out the same gargage that Morgan Spurlock did in his documentary Super Size Me, but if you don’t eat the food every day in extra-large portions, then you’ll be all right. I say if you’re out and are looking for a cheap burger, get yourself a Big Mac and enjoy it!

In 2013 McDonald’s unleashed on the market their own take on chicken wings when they put out Mighty Wings! My girlfriend and I love chicken wings and have tried every major wing place in our area.  For me, the four best have to be Roosters, Wing Zone, Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3s) and Fricker’s.  So when McDonald’s said they were getting into the wing game, I knew I had to try them. I was working hard on editing a Baron Von Porkchop episode and needed to take a break for lunch.  So I called up my Mom, and we decided to go to McDonald’s to get a quick bite to eat.  In the drive thru I saw the advertisement for Mighty Wings and ordered a 5 pack. I ate them before I touched my fries or took a drink from the Hi-C, and I must say they were pretty good.  They had a nice spice level, and the meat, while a little fatty, was very juicy and flavorful. The downside to them is price at almost a dollar a wing, and the meduim size of each wing makes you really wonder just how much you overpaid. But if you like wings and are looking for a snack, a 5 pack of Mighty Wings might just hit the spot.

Growing up I have many memories of McDonalds and many of them have to do with the whole McDonald land characters and merchandise. I can remember going to the local McDonald’s and pestering my Mom and Dad to get me a Happy Meal so that I could get the Baby Fozzie from the Muppet Babies on his rocking horse and they did! It always felt magical to open up the Happy Meal box with all the cool artwork around it and pulling out your food and seeing what prize you got this time. It’s a shame that nowadays they have switched meals to putting them in a paper bag and put less time pushing these meals. Another thing that always stuck in my mind was The Apple Pie Tree statue that was placed inside the stores and also outside in the playground area.  The giant grinning face also made you as a kid feel welcome. I can remember climbing all over the Tree with my brother and cousin Norman.  The Tree is burned into my memories and if I ever get a house in the country like I want, a McDonald’s Tree will for sure be in the backyard. Another memory has to be the birthday parties that McDonald’s would have.  I can remember going to one for my cousin Norman and having a fun time on the playground and being around my family. I remember the cake not being all that great but thinking it was cool to see all the McDonaldland characters on it, but to be honest I dislike cake and am not a fan of it at all. So there you have it, Ronald McDonald and his magic fast food are apart of my youth, and I am okay with that.

McDonaldland pull back racers aka Fast Macs were a hit with me and my brother Bryan.  I can remember getting them and turning our kitchen in Waynesville into a drag strip as my brother and I would race them. He had gotten the Hamburgler in a slick red dragster built for speed and tricks, while I had Officer Big Mac in a bulky yet fast police car. We spent awhile racing them, and most the time they would crash into the kitchen table or get caught up on the walls.  I can remember losing a lot in the races, but I am sure that my brother bent the rules in his favor by saying things like “if I pop a wheelie, I win the race.” Later on we got Ronald McDonald in his yellow car of doom and Birdie in her pink race car. Over all these were great cheap toys that delivered a lot of fun for the Brassfield Brothers.

Besides the Fast Macs and The Muppet Babies toys, I also remember liking the Changeables aka McRobots who were generic style Transformers that would change from food items into simple robots. I had a few of these growing up and would use them in toy war and even had them get crushed many times by Transformers and GoBots. The simpleness of these changing robots was their charm, and the fact that McDonalds jumped on the popular 80’s robot boom was a given. My favorite was the Big Mac one because my brother and cousins all use to say he was the leader of the others much like Optimus Prime and Leader One were in charge of their robot friends. The second best one was the milk shake one who in my mind was like the right hand man and the fighter of the group. The store I am the manager of has an Amazon store, and I have sold many of these McRobots to the masses! I am sure many of you readers have a smile on your face as you are now thinking back on these generic transforming robots.

Not only were robots and fast food places big in the 80’s but so were collector glasses that restaurants, pop companies and even gas stations would sell and give out. Growing up I remember drinking Coke out of a Superman glass or strawberry milk from a Bugs Bunny one. Even as an adult as I am writing this I am drinking water from a Rocky The Squirrel glass put out by Pepsi. I know many of these glasses used lead paint so maybe that explains why I still love to read Star Comics. Some of the cool ones that were put out at this time were the 1977 McDonaldland character glasses.  You could choose from Ronald McDonald, Mayor McCheese, Officer Big Mac, Captain Crook and the others! Collector glasses are awesome and always helped add to a bland meal at home.  Sitting at the kitchen table and having to eat spinach chicken and peas was always a terrible time, but add in a Batman glass filled with Kool-Aid and the meal is still bad but a little easier to have to deal with. I have many of the McDonaldland glasses as well as many other character glasses and these are a super fun and cool way to make drinking fun. You can find these cool glasses on Ebay, Thrift Stores and Flea Markets.

Now that I have given you all a rundown on some of the cool stuff about McDonald’s we should now get to the main course of this mind meal and take a look at all the characters that made up the magical Mcdonaldland. Before we get into the main cast, let’s take a small look at three that did not make it to the land.

Speedee

Speedee is a hamburger headed chief who was the mascot for McDonalds from 1948-1962. Speedee’s main purpose was to show how fast your food would get to you after you placed your order. Speedee sadly never caught on and was phased out and replaced by the 1st Ronald McDonald in 1962. While gone for many years now, Speedee will never be forgotten by fans and historians of the fast food burger place he promoted.

Ronald McDonald # 1 

The original Ronald McDonald is nothing like the one we all know and love.  He was dubbed The Ham-Burger Happy Clown and wore a tray on his head, a magic tray belt that kept him supplied with hamburgers and a paper cup on his noise. This original Ronald was slightly creepy, and his voice was deeper and kind of menacing. He really loved to push hamburgers and tried to befriend kids to follow him back to McDonalds…wait, doen’t this kind of sound like Pennywise the Clown from the Stephen King Novel IT? Years later his look was changed and became the more iconic version of the character we all know and love. To me this first version was like the modern’s weird and crazy brother who later was locked up in the McDonaldland Asylum of Mental Health. I should note that Willard Scott played the original Ronald McDonald on TV in the D.C. area, who is known for being a weatherman on NBC, and this version started in 1962.

Mac Tonight

McDonald’s was going to start staying open late nights via the drive-thru and needed a way to let people know.  So enter the moon headed, sunglasses wearing, piano playing Ray Charles style Mac Tonight. Mac Tonight started in 1986 and was a smooth operator and gained a following with young and old and became a main stay of McDonald’s ads. Mac Tonight was so big that his image was used for over 20 commercials, was made into Happy Meal Toys and was used to great customers along side Ronald McDonald. But the moon headed man’s fun ended in 2007 when he got a CGI make over and started to be used less and less. While his image can still be seen on signs at McDonald’s, this jazz loving moon man’s popularity has dropped. Here’s hoping at some point he will rise to the charts of mascot history and be used properly once more.

So with this let’s get into the cast of characters that made up McDonaldLand! I will try and make these brief and just give you a little background of each iconic mascot.

Ronald McDonald

Ronald McDonald is a fun loving clown who loves to bring joy and food to his friends thanks to McDonalds. Ronald is the ring leader of all the characters in McDonaldland and has many friends all over the world and even on other planets. Ronald is also very active and likes to go out a play sports and enjoy nature making him a very energetic. Ronald is always in a good mood and makes the mood of any room rise and turns frowns upside down. He is also the face of McDonald’s and is so popular his image has been made into toys, shirts, comics, video games, and he even had a cameo in the movie “MAC AND ME” . Ronald McDonald is more recognizable to children than JFK, Abe Lincoln, Magical Burger King and many more famous people and mascots from around the world. Ronald is the man and remains one of the most iconic characters of all time. 

Grimace

1971 was the year kids were introduced to a giant purple character named Evil Grimace with four arms who loved soda and milkshakes and would steal them! In 1972/74 two arms disappeared, and Evil was dropped from his name and the lovable dimwitted Grimace became a well loved mascot for McDonald’s. Grimace acts as the comic relief of McDonaldland and is Ronald’s best friend. Even after turning good, Grimace still loved a good milkshake and soda as does his uncle known as O’Grimacey who loved the St. Patricks Day themed Shamrock Shake. Sadly Grimace was put into mascot retirement in 2011. Grimace in his prime had his image used for toys, cartoons, video games and even cookie cutters. Grimace is one of my favorite characters of McDonald’s. 

Birdie The Early Bird

In 1980 an egg fell in McDonaldland. Ronald showed it love and it hatched to be Birdie a yellow female bird who is a terrible flyer and loves breakfast food! Birdie is much like Grimace and is very clumsy and is the first official female character mascot for McDonald’s. Over the years and many different forms of media Birdie has learned karate and even try to find aliens. Birdie has been used to sell toys, video games and dolls. Biride sadly was sent to the Mascot retirement home in 2011 alongside other characters from McDonald’s. 

The Hamburglar

In 1971, a pint size thief entered McDonaldland, and he had one thing on his mind: to steal hamburgers!  When first seen by viewers, he was older with a big nose and was called The Lone Jogger.  In the 1980’s he was transformed into a younger guy who while bad, became friends with all the other characters. Hamburglar spoke gibberish and his catch phrase was “Robble Robble” and was the second major villain to be introduced in the commercials. During the 80’s I always remember him being one of the most popular characters with kids wanting to collect his toys that were in Happy Meals. Sadly like Birdie and Grimace, he joined them in the mascot retirement home in 2011. 

Mayor McCheese

In 1971 Mayor McCheese was the silly cheeseburger headed Mayor of McDonaldLand, who tried so hard but was a little dimwitted and relied on the help of Ronald and the rest of the gang. The Mayor spoke with a giggly voice and was mostly a background character for the company. The Mayor was voted out of power in 2008 as McDonald’s sent him to the mascot retirement home. Mayor McCheese remains a popular character and has become a pop culture icon thanks to the internet and shows like Family Guy.

Officer Big Mac

Law and Order was brought to McDonladland in 1970 as Officer Big Mac was on the case to bust the likes of The Hamnurglar and Captain Crook! Officer Big Mac was a by the book character who was the main source of law in the land, also making him one of the good guys. Big Mac was phased out in the 1980’s and made a small appearance in 2008 before being sent to that sad place known as mascot retirement. While remembered, Officer Big Mac did not gain cult status like his fellow hamburger headed friend Mayor McCheese. 

Captain Crook

Starting in 1970, the people of McDonaldland’s Filet-O-Fish were in big trouble as a pirate named Captain Crook took to the waterways and began stealing this sandwich, making him the first official bad guy of the land. Captain Crook was close friends to The Hamburglar and would translate his mumbles. Crook also spent a lot of time trying not to be captured by Officer Big Mac who always had his eyes on the beady eyed pirate.In the 1980’s  Captain Crook started to be phased out, and in 1999 he was sent to that retirement home for mascots. 

The Professor 

1971 was the year that a grey haired old man known simply as The Professor also made his mark in McDonaldland and was the inventor for the magical land. At first he was just a minor character, and later he became a major one that was given even a lightbulb hat. But like many other of his friends he was set to the retirement home for good in 2001 but not before being in a few cartoons and a video game. 

Happy Meal Gang/Hamburger Patch/McNugget Buddies/Fry Guys

The Happy Meal Gang was a group of talking food items such as a hamburger, fries and a cold drink who were all friends of Ronald and brought joy to customers. They were introduced in 1984 and were later joined in 1989 by the McNugget Buddies who later would replace the Happy Meal Gang altogether. In 1973 The Hamburger Patch was the main talking food and were hamburgers that grew on plants and were picked to be eaten by Ronald and customers.  They were phased out in the mid 80’s. The Fry Guys were odd colored short shaggy creatures who like to steal and eat french fries who were introduced in 1972.  They were so popular that they were used all the way till 2008. So many fun and odd talking food characters!

CosMc

In 1980-1985 Ronald McDonald and his gang of friends also befriended an alien from space who had many arms and wore a giant round space suit! He was a kind character who always wanted to trade McDonald’s food and wanted to share the great taste of the food with his people. CosMc was not a mainstay character and was used only a handful of times.  He did however make it into a video game and animated series based on the characters of the restaurant. I should also note he spoke like a surfer dude.

So there was a very quick rundown of some of the amazing McDonaldland characters.  I tried to make them all brief for if we broke them down too much, we would be here for another few pages of who epic and amazing they are! So now you know a little about them and your mind is recharged with memories of these characters making it time for the comic reviews that were free give aways and were called McDonaldLand Comics! I just want you all to remember I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and base it on entertainment value, quality of the story, the art and how true it stays to the source martial, and I would like to think Mile High Comics and Amazon for having these comics in stock.

McDonaldland Comics  # 101  **1/2
Released in 1976   Cover Price FREE   McDonald Corp. Comics   #101 of 102

It’s America’s 200^th birthday, and Mayor McCheese has gotten an invitation to be a guest at the country’s huge birthday party! The Mayor invites Ronald, Officer Big Mac, The Professor and Grimace to go along with him on a magical train, and they decide to leave Captain Crook and Hamburglar back in McDonaldland to watch after things. Crook and Hamburglar sneak aboard the train, and they all take a tour of the amazing sites of America. But along the way the Captain Crook falls from the flying train and could be lost as they arrive at the party! The second small story in the issue is about The Hamburglar who is giving up stealing hamburgers, but now is stealing things that begin with the letter H!

The first story is a silly adventure that is a way for Ronald McDonald to teach the readers American history.  So while you as a youngster read this, you were also learning! It’s odd how in this issue the bad guys of the land, Hamburglar and Captain Crook, are supposed to be the ones left behind to watch over things.  Now don’t they like to steal and cause panic…so why would they want to leave them behind? Plus Officer Big Mac seems to be a one trick pony in the issue and repeats about the railroad being too bumpy and about arresting people.  Ronald is clearly the ringleader of the group as his word is law, and at one point he is being questioned by a cop and escapes without showing his ID so he won’t be late for the party! The story is short and ends with a cliffhanger as they get to the party but Captain Crook has fallen from the train that is flying now, so did he die? The next issue I hope will explain this. The second back up story of Hamburglar stealing things that start with an H is just a cheesy joke as the rest of the comic is filled with puzzles and such. The artwork is great and has that classic 70’s kid comic look and each character looks like they should. The cover is also pretty cool, and I am sure in 1976 kids picked up this free issue like crazy! So over all this is a fun and average free restaurant comic that was worth a read. I am going to say that the best character in this first issue would have to be Ronald McDonald himself followed by Captain Crook.  So with this let’s move onto issue 2!

McDonaldland Comics  # 102  **1/2
Released in 1976   Cover Price FREE   McDonald Corp. Comics   #102 of 102

The McDonaldland gang is gearing up for a silly version of the Olympics that include pogo stick jumps, and hamburger dashes! The gang that includes Ronald, Captain Crook, Hamburglar and Grimace are going up against The Fry Guys! But late the night before the event, a short man named Sneak-Snoop Snoggly of the Sneak-Snoop race who live in the hills comes to town and causes mischief and pranks on all the group! The pranks leave Mayor McCheese falling down a hole, Grimace squashing a giant tomato and Ronald’s pogo stick spring being so tight that he bounces up way to high and smacks into a bird! In the end they confront Snoggly who in turns falls of a high dive board and wins a medal that puts a smile on his face and all is well again in McDonaldland. The second mini story of this issue is about The Professor taking the gang around again on the flying train to see historic sites from around the USA and uses a machine that lets them see the past in the spots they are visiting.

The McDonaldland Olympic Games are filled with silly things that kids would have fun doing, pogo sticks and bouncing, sounds like Field Day events to me! This time around a trickster is causing issues in the fast food land and almost leads to Ronald’s and a bird’s death as they collide in the air and both are stunned. It’s clear that Captain Crook must have lived after his fall in issue one as he is in the Olympic Games, though they should have some how worked in how it all worked out. This main story as well only really highlights Ronald as the rest of them all take back seats, and this is to be expected as Ronald is the main mascot for the company. The second story seems a little lacking and is just more history lesson left over from the first issue.  While very informative, I wish they would have not repeated the American History lesson. The rest of the comic issue is filled with puzzles and such and I am sure had kids of the time entertained. Over all the first story is pretty fun though I wish had a little more to it.  The second story is just okay, making this issue another average issue but well worth the read, and the price it coast when it was released…FREE. 

One has to wonder why McDonaldland Comics only lasted two issues when Big Boy and Captain D’s both had comic series going at the time and years after even. One has to wonder if the cost of making the free comic just didn’t outweigh the payout of making kids have a collectors item based around their mascots. I for one would have loved to have gotten comics for free based on these characters in the 80’s and would have looked forward to getting an issue anytime we ate there. The comic series really focused on Ronald and that makes sense with the surprise two characters that seemed to get a lot of panel time being The Professor and Captain Crook. Hamburglar, Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac all had solid roles to play in the two issues, and Grimace was almost a second thought and offered very little to the story lines, and that’s a shame cause he would have been a perfect character for a kids comic. The art, as I stated before, is great and would have been right at home if Star Comics was going in 1976.  The covers were both very well done and eye catching and better than any other free restaurant comic cover. I wish that McDonald’s would bring back all these classic characters for this modern generation who are lacking the fun wonders of mascots.  I also wish they would bring back free comic books based on these characters, and I also wish they would stop being the target of parent groups and TV “chefs” who want to make a name for themselves by attacking the worlds largest burgar chain. Well the chill in the air is telling me it’s time to go, but before we do I must tell you readers that next update will be on Christmas Eve and will be all about Thundercats! So make sure to come back and give it a read! Till then, have a great holiday season, read a comic or two and eat a Big Mac.